FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: helmethead2.zoovy.com

WWII U.S. PARATROOPER/TANK HELMET

General George S. Patton / John T. Riddell
Excerpts from the article cited below.

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NFL FOOTBALL TRIVIA

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2003 celebrated the 75th Anniversary of the Riddell Company, a brand whose high-quality helmets are nearly synonymous with the National Football League. While Riddell's partnership with the NFL is well known, the Company has a little-known history and partnership with another professional organization... the U.S. military. In fact, as important as Riddell has been to the NFL, that importance pales in comparison to the life-saving expertise provided the military by John T. Riddell.

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John Riddell's contribution and design expertise solved one of the major problems of the M1 combat helmet program. Post-WWI studies showed that many soldiers did not wear their helmets, because they were uncomfortable and ill fitting. Riddell's liner suspension was functional and stable. It provided the platform for arguably one of the best combat helmet designs of the 20th century. A now-declassified report called "Project ALCLAD" published by the Army in 1950, reviewed the effectiveness of the M1 helmet in combat during WWII. The report estimated that the M1 helmet alone decreased total battle casualties by eight percent. In terms of absolute numbers, the M1 helmet, supported by Riddell's suspension saved an estimated 76,000 men, half of whom would have been killed had they not been wearing the M1 helmet.

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Reliability and practicality of the design are evident when one considers that the M1 helmet suspension designed by Riddell was adopted in 1941; and essentially, that same design can be found in the PASGT or "Kevlar" helmet system worn by America's modern combat soldiers. With 38,000 "saves" in WWII, one could wonder how many more lives were saved in Korea, Vietnam, Somalia, and now, Iraq, due to the effectiveness of the design.

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Please see FSQ's source for this FSQ post for the full article.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: independent.co.uk

Image: timesonline.co.uk
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SPORTS QUOTES

From the Year 2004

Let's have some fun.
Jose Mourinho, in his first programme notes as Chelsea manager.

I am not arrogant but I am special. I am a European champion, not in the bottle with the rest. Chelsea now have a top manager.
Mourinho, at his first press conference.

I chose between England, Italy and Spain and think I made the right choice as I enjoy it here so much. The thing I don't enjoy is the way the media talk about us. I feel as if the knives are being aimed in our direction while the flowers are in another.
Mourinho.

They didn't play football, they just defended, defended, defended. They may as well have parked the team bus in front of their goal.
Mourinho, after his side's goalless draw at home to Tottenham.

If a Russian billionaire came in I would not only roll out the red carpet but I would hoist up a red flag.
Bob Murray, Sunderland chairman.

I don't have much pace these days and they got away.
Steve Bruce, Birmingham manager, after he was attacked outside his home by two men.

I tried to talk to the ref but it is easier to get to see the Pope. If I'm in London next time and I get mugged I hope the same amount of people turn up. There were six police officers, four stewards and a United Nations peace-keeping observer.
Gordon Strachan, then Southampton manager, after being shepherded away from the referee Neale Barry after defeat to Arsenal.

I don't think I'm big-mouthed enough to be a coach.
Robert Pires.

I sometimes try not to say things but he is absolutely incredible. I don't remember anyone making such an impact on a tournament since Pele in the 1958 World Cup.
Sven Goran Eriksson, England manager, on Wayne Rooney.

One is black, the other is white. Rooney is an excellent player but Pele is unique. There will never be another Pele - not for a thousand years, and not even in a computer game.
Luis Felipe Scolari, Portugal's Brazilian coach.

I don't think he's podgy at all. He's only 18. That's a horribly mean thing to say. The kid is 18. The kid scored, what, two goals yesterday? He's doing really good. Yeah, he's a real sweetie.
Serena Williams, at Wimbledon, after England's win over Croatia, on Rooney.

Rooney - Talented and Spirited Sweetie.
Headline in Le Monde.

People laugh when I tell them my name. I was taking a video out and the assistant cracked up and shouted to his mate: 'I've got Wayne Rooney here'. But it's never been easy. My old man's name is Mickey.
Wayne Rooney, Birmingham plasterer.

He's a beer-burger-brothel-bomber - and he likes to shoot in the dark.
Das Bild, the German tabloid, on Rooney.

Will the owner of a horse attached to a rag-and-bone cart in the visitors' car park return to his vehicle immediately.
PA announcement at Cardiff City v West Ham.

My programme has been moved to accommodate David Beckham and his boyfriends chasing an inflated sheep's pancreas round some field in Portugal.
Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear presenter.

England fans will be talking about their 1-0 win for years.
Clive Tyldesley, ITV commentator, shortly before Zinedine Zidane scored twice in France's 2-1 Euro 2004 victory.

The last time the Greeks won a major match they beat the Persians.
Gary Lineker, BBC anchorman.

I'm keeping it as a great trophy. We were sitting in row Q, so you can imagine how much that shot missed by.
Pablo Corral, who caught David Beckham's missed penalty kick against Portugal.

Drugs and Kisses

I am not hooked on drugs. The only reason I took what I took was because I wanted to improve my sexual performance. It may be funny but it is true. I did not take cocaine. I took something to make me feel good.
Adrian Mutu, sacked by Chelsea after a positive drugs test.

They should support him, not throw him out like a rotting tooth.
Victor Becali, Mutu's agent, on Chelsea.

I was very surprised, even though I am from Transylvania.
Laura Andresan, porn star, alleges that Mutu sucked her blood when she cut her hand during a liaison between the two.

His sexual appetite has spiralled out of control ... he's been drained by unscheduled sex.
Jos Suluntay, Chile coach, on dropping his captain Marcelo Salas.

One guy of 96 came in and said he was 72 years sober. I thought, '**** me, is this what I have to look forward to?'
Paul Gascoigne, on attending Alcoholics Anonymous.

Normally, I would go on holiday and wear a little G-string and go topless. Now I can't do that. I'm defined by sex.
Rebecca Loos, David Beckham's former personal assistant.

I will not let that tart ruin my marriage.
Victoria Beckham on Loos.

Victoria Beckham is nothing but a cheap Essex bitch who deserves everything she gets.
Jordan, model.

It is incredible that she has left me. Only recently I paid for her breasts. I paid €7,000 to make them bigger - and now this.
Mo Idrissou, Hanover striker, on his former girlfriend Selin Vanli.

All I know is that in every race I enter one athlete is 100 per cent drugs-free - me.
Marion Jones, US sprinter, speaking in February.

Athens And Beyond

It feels like it isn't me and that I am going to wake up in the morning and have to do it all again.
Kelly Holmes, after winning the Olympic 800 metres and 1500m.

I hope she does something more useful than join the pundit circle.
Max Jones, UK Athletics performance director, on Holmes' future.

I had nothing to wear.
Holmes on why she turned down a date with Tom Cruise.

The one thing about Paula is she never gives up.
Brendan Foster, BBC commentator, during the Olympic marathon.

Even when I was running downhill it felt like running uphill.
Paula Radcliffe, after pulling out of the marathon.

We're appalled. The family was half hoping he'd get jail.
Dan Horan, brother of Cornelius, the former priest who was given a one-year suspended sentence in a Greek court after disrupting the Olympic men's marathon.

I'm not disabled. I just don't have any legs.
Oscar Pritorius, the 200 metres Paralympic champion.

I Believe...

I've been walking to the pub and everything.
Phil Tufnell on his preparations for a 500-mile charity walk.

Let's face it, I'm not going to fight him over her.
Will Adams, a student who claimed that the boxer Joe Calzaghe had stolen his girlfriend.

Hijo de puta.David Beckham to a Spanish linesman - translation: "son of a whore" - for which he was sent off for Real Madrid against Real Murcia. He's obviously picked up a few words of Spanish after all.
John Toshack, then the Murcia coach.

I used to be called the whippet.
Andy Fordham, 30 stone darts player.

It's incredible, absolutely incredible. Imagine playing in 40 more of these. I hope I'm not fertiliser by then.
Tiger Woods, on Arnold Palmer's 50th consecutive US Masters appearance.

There was never a time when I didn't think I'd win. I'd won it in my head before we stepped into the arena.
Ronnie O'Sullivan on regaining his world snooker title

We trained all week like Tarzan and played like Jane.
Frank Endacott, Widnes coaching advisor, after losing 40-6 at Wakefield.

Every day from the age of four I did 20 kilometres to school and back. And in the dry season when school was out we walked three hours with the donkey to collect water. Life as a child was a kind of sport.
Haile Gebrselassie, athlete.

I know who you are and I'm coming to get you. Start running.
Message left by Ian Botham on his daughter Sarah's mobile phone after it was stolen by muggers.

Usually after an Olympics you lie in bed and your skin starts to itch because you want to start training again. This time there has been no itch.
Matthew Pinsent on retiring from rowing.

[Roman] Abramovich knows nothing about football. I already have his sword sticking into me, and even if I win the Champions' League I'll be sacked.
Claudio Ranieri, then the Chelsea manager.

I told them they could shove it.
Ken Bates, after his programme notes were scrapped after 22 years by Chelsea's new owners.

You simply do not sack Bobby Robson.
Freddie Shepherd, Newcastle chairman.

In situations like this there is no room for sentiment.
Shepherd, after sacking Sir Bobby.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: board.uscho.com

SPORTS QUOTES
The Athletes Speak!
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Ty Law this past off season commenting on his contract (which I believe is 7 years, 50 million dollars). Apparently, he was unhappy with that amount saying "I gotta eat."
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Rondell White had a similar line to explain why he took more money to sign with the Yankees when he knew he wouldn't play as much.
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"God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve. The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex." - Carl Everett
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Quote by some unnamed MN Timberwolve, said during contract negotiations:
"How in hell can you expect me to live on two million a year??"
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"Chuckie hacks on 2 and 0" - Chuckie Carr. One day before being released by the Brewers
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Tom Waddle, former Bears receiver, after pulling a hamstring:
"I didn't know a white guy could run fast enough to pull a hamstring."
Michael Irvin on live tv

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: board.uscho.com

BASKETBALL QUOTES

"Its easy to talk about, its easy to sum it up when you just talk about practice. We sittin' in here, I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talkin' about practice. I mean listen, we talkin bout practice.
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Not a game, not a game, not a game. We talkin bout practice. Not a game, not a, not a, not the game that I go out there and die for, and play every game like its my last. Not the game. We talkin' bout practice, man. I mean how silly is that? We talkin' bout practice.
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I know I'm supposed to be there, I know I'm supposed to lead by example. I know that, and I'm not shovin' it aside, you know, like it don't mean anything. I know its important, I do. I honestly do. But we talkin' bout practice, man.
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What are we talkin' bout? Practice? We talkin' bout practice man. We talk... We talkin' bout practice. We talkin' bout practice. We ain't talkin' bout the game, we talkin' bout practice, man. When you come into the arena, and you see me play, you see me play, don't you? You see me give everything I got, right? But we talkin' bout practice right now. We talkin' bout practice. (crowd laughs)
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Man look, I hear you, its funny to me too. I mean, its strange, its strange to me too. But we talkin' bout practice man. We not even talkin' bout the game, the actual game, when it matters. We talkin' bout practice."
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WHATCHA' TALKIN' BOUT, ALLEN? :)

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com

"DOLLAR BILL" BRADLEY

SPORTS HUMOR
The losing team
2006
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Unlike Republicans, there are few Democrat athletes.

Former New York Knicks forward Bill Bradley is one of the only famous athletes to run as a Democratic candidate for president.
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Pittsburgh Steelers Hall of Famer Lynn Swann is running for governor of Pennsylvania. Naturally, Swann is a Republican. He's a Republican even though he's African-American, and only a small percentage of Republicans are black. But, you see, that doesn't matter, because almost all athletic politicians are Republicans.
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How do we explain this?
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The Democrats are always fighting the characterization that they're wimpy. Maybe that's because all the sports guys who run for office are Republicans.
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Bill Bradley is about the only famous athlete of the recent past to run for office as a Democrat. The Democrats thought they finally had another one in Bill Richardson, the governor of New Mexico, who'd been a baseball player in school. Then it turned out he'd lied about his baseball credentials. The Democrats don't even make good ringers.
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The Republicans just keep churning out manly sports stars. President Ford, of course, was an outstanding football player. So was Jack Kemp, who was the vice presidential candidate on the GOP ticket in 1996. J.C. Watts and Steve Largent are football players turned congressmen. Tom Osborne, the former University of Nebraska coach, is in the House now, running for Cornhusker governor. And Sen. George Allen of Virginia, a possible presidential candidate, is both an ex-quarterback and the son of a famous football coach. Pedigree.
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But it's not just football. Jim Bunning, the baseball Hall of Famer, is the junior senator from Kentucky. Jim Ryun, the last great American miler, is a Kansas congressman. Dennis Hastert, the Speaker of the House, was a wrestling coach. Grunt. The former Colorado senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell was captain of the U.S. Judo team. And let us not forget a certain bodybuilder who is the governor of Cal-ee-for-nee-ah.
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Good grief, Charles Barkley even periodically makes noises about running for governor of Alabama as a Republican.
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Aren't there even any Democratic bench warmers?
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When the Republicans do make inroads into blue states, they do it with football players. Bob Ehrlich, the governor of Maryland, and Don Carlieri, the governor of Rhode Island, were Ivy League players.
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And when a Democrat Ivy Leaguer does something athletic, everybody laughs at him. Remember John Kerry -- windsurfing?
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And what are the Kennedys famous for? Touch football. Touch! The Republicans play tackle, man.
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The Republicans even have the sidelines covered. Both Mississippi senators were college cheerleaders. So was Rick Perry, the governor of Texas, and, for that matter, so was a former Texas governor who moved on to lead cheers elsewhere. "Mission accomplished!" Give me a G, give me an O, give me a P, give me a G-O-P.
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It goes deep, too. Dwight Eisenhower was a West Point football player. Ronald Reagan was a baseball announcer, and his most famous acting role was as a football star. George Bush the elder was a fine first baseman.
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Even Richard Nixon played football at Whittier College. I interviewed him once. You know what Nixon most wanted to talk about? Bowling. He was very proud that he had bowling alleys built in the White House.
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Yeah, and then Jimmy Carter took them out.
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It's plain to me that if the Democrats ever want to get back in power, they gotta nominate some jocks and start kicking some butt.

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Image: i.a.cnn.net

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: taft.stretching-it.com

SPORTS ANECDOTES
President William Howard Taft
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Hacking It: Presidential Sports
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Golf was a pastime, refuge, and passion forTaft. After receiving a group of contentious congressmen with whom he disagreed, Taft said, "They have my last word, and now I want to show my scorn for further negotiations by spending the afternoon on the golf links."
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A satirist wrote that Taft would be a good golfer, "Were it not for his figure which, unfortunately, has a tendency to get in the way of his stroke..."
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On being presented with a golf club,"eucalyptus wood, gold mounted," Taft described the essence of golf:
"I don’t know of any game that is so provocative of profanity as golf. I don’t know any game that makes one so ashamed of his profanity."
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The golfing President: from the Washington Star
"Mr. President, how do you like the new club-house?" asked Major Butt, as they approached the Chevy Chase Country Club.
"Excellent," replied the President. "It is the finest example of early penitentiary colonial architecture I have ever seen."
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Taft is credited with being the first President to throw out the first baseball at a game and to have initiated the "seventh inning stretch."
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He threw out "strike one" at the opening of the season in 1910. The seventh-inning stretch came about when Taft joined the crowd by rising during the "lucky seventh" at a game in Chicago where it was reported, "Mr. Taft received many hearty cheers when he stood up with the rest of the fans at the beginning of the ‘lucky seventh.’"
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When he became President, Taft hardly knew the game. It all started when Captain Butt arranged for him to attend a game at Washington in the Spring of 1909. "I thought it would be a popular thing for him to appear at one of the opening games," Butt wrote. Taft agreed to go so long as it didn’t interfere with his afternoon horseback ride. And he loved it!
Following a call that offended the home team fans, Butt was heard to say to the President, "No Sir, they never kill the umpire till the seventh inning."