FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nfl.com

FOOTBALL QUOTE

Max McGee, ex-Packer wide receiver:

Lombardi once showed the team a football at a meeting and said, "Gentlemen, this is a football."

NFL / Getty Images

Max McGee scored the first TD in Super Bowl history. » Super Bowl I recap » Max McGee profile

"McGee said, 'Not so fast, not so fast,"' Remmel said. "That gives you an index to the kind of humor that he served up regularly."

"When it's third-and-10," McGee once said, "you can take the milk drinkers, and I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time."

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Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: profootballweekly.com

FOOTBALL QUOTES

Audibles
Nov. 6, 2007

The following quotes are from NFL scouts, coaches and front-office personnel, speaking on condition of anonymity.

• "Brett Favre should have retired three years ago. It's all hype. (The Packers) are not that good. (Favre) can really throw it, but how about the poor decision-making that has defined his career? How come you don't hear more about his record for having so many picks? The guy has had one helluva career — don't get me wrong. But let's call it what it is. A lot of guys get ripped for the same things he does. If one is going to get ripped, rip them all. If (Donovan) McNabb was throwing all those balls away, they would have run him out of Philly years ago and never talked about the b.s. receivers he has had to work with. The one year (McNabb) had a receiver, T.O. (Terrell Owens) got hurt. They were putting up great numbers and the kid got hurt. Then he comes back the next year, and he was lighting it up, and he got hurt. This year, everyone is coming down on him because of that interview (when he said he was treated differently as a black quarterback). And you know what, he was right. Brett Favre pulls that 'I don't know if I'm going to retire' — and he does not get locked out of the building like (Steve) McNair did. Why don't they tell him, until you decide, you are locked out. They are extra sensitive about his feelings. Brett is a great guy, but right is right, and wrong is wrong. He is holding the team hostage, too."

• "The Colts' defense has become a lot faster and more physical. They run around and hit you."

• "(Raiders C) Jeremy Newberry is their best run blocker, and he is only average."

• "The Jets have issues. You are seeing now what should have happened last year. They just hit it right a year ago. It's more of a reflection of where they are with that team. They have a bad offensive line. They are inconsistent running and throwing the ball. They have a group of average receivers. They are very inconsistent in the secondary. Overall, it's a very inconsistent football team."

• "In a lot of ways, they are asking (Jonathan) Vilma and (Dewayne) Robertson to do things they are not great at, but if they are good enough athletes, it does not matter."

• "We've been watching the resurrection of Kyle Vanden Bosch for the last year and a half and now (Albert) Haynesworth has turned up the dial a notch. They are getting after it."

• "The Saints go as their offensive line goes, and the unit is playing a lot better. Jammal Brown is back to form."

• "The problem in Carolina is that the defensive line gets away with too much. (Julius) Peppers does what he wants to do. He's making a lot of money, so he does not get chewed out like he needs to. Defensive linemen need a foot up their ass. They play their best when someone is breathing fire down their throats. The best defensive line coaches know it. Rod Marinelli is a head coach because of it. He's an old war veteran. He's the kind of guy you want coaching your line. He is the prototype defensive line coach. The league needs more guys like him."

• "A lot of scouts were not sold on (Raiders CBs) Fabian Washington and Stanford Routt coming out of college because they did not like to tackle, but they are not playing too bad. Their speed is showing up on the field. They get out of position, but they can still close."

• "The Cowboys' offensive line is not that good. They are benefiting from a quarterback that can move."

• "When you look at the full package of what Brian Westbrook brings to the team, there is not a more valuable player to his team. They need him more than they need (Donovan) McNabb. If you rated him strictly as a running back, you would have to say he is good, but because of his pass-catching skills, it raises his game up a notch. I would say he has performed at a Pro Bowl level, absolutely."

• "How is (OLT) Donald Penn starting for Tampa Bay? I don't know that anyone in the league had a draftable grade on him a few years ago. He was always hurt, he whined about everything. Now he is starting in the NFL. It makes you wonder if you can scout anymore when you see stuff like that. They claimed him off waivers this year. If anyone thought they had a left tackle that had a chance, they would not have let him go. At the least, developmental left tackles do have trade value."

• "(Eagles OG) Shawn Andrews is Larry Allen the second."

• "(Panthers OLT) Travelle Wharton is going to get top money in free agency. I think he is an ascending player. I'm not sure if he has fully recovered from the knee injury he suffered a year ago. He should only get better."

• "The cap is eventually going to catch up to the Colts. They had major cap problems a couple years ago, and with decisions coming on Bob Sanders and Dallas Clark, they are going to have to get real creative. The problem when you have so many good players is keeping them all."

• "The first thing you better do when you're picking in the top 10 is make sure you have a quarterback. If you don't know if you have one or not, chances are that you don't. The second half of the season is the time to figure out what you've got. If I am the Dolphins, I am finding out what John Beck has. Let me see some signs. Show me he's not the system quarterback that most of the league thought he was. We would not have touched him until maybe the fifth round, I can tell you that much."

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Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: freep.com

SPORTS QUOTES

2007'S OVERHEARD: The best quotes of the year

January 1, 2008

• "The only thing I'm doing is preparing to play ... Middle Tennessee State. ... Don't ask it, I've got nothing to say. I am so happy right where I'm at. I need to work harder with this team. That's my focus and it will not change." -- LSU coach Les Miles, when he was asked about the Michigan job in mid-September. Guess we should have listened to him.

• "The first thing I thought of was how everybody was always saying how I was crazy about some of the things I said. Take a look at me, now. Don't look too crazy now, do I?" - Rasheed Wallace, on the NBA ref busted for gambling.

• "I was just laughing. I thought it was funny. They got excited. It's good. Sometimes you get your little brother excited when you're playing basketball and let him get the lead, then you just come back and take it back." -- U-M's Mike Hart, after Michigan's 28-24 comeback victory over Michigan State.

• "Michigan is a good school and I got a good education there, but the athletic department has ways to get borderline guys in and, when they're in, they steer them to courses in sports communications. They're adulated when they're playing, but when they get out, the people who adulated them won't hire them." - Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh, on U-M's academic requirements for student-athletes.

• "It sounds like a drug emporium there with drugs all around. ... This is a family in crisis." - Montgomery County (Pa.) Judge Steven T. O'Neill, at the sentencing of Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's two sons.

• "Next to striking out Inge, that's the happiest I've been in this uniform." - Cardinals manager Tony La Russa, comparing Rick Ankiel's homer in his debut as an outfielder to the 2006 World Series win over the Tigers.

• "If it doesn't happen, who cares? There's always next year. It's not the end of the world." - Manny (Being Manny) Ramirez, when the Red Sox were down, 3-1, to Cleveland in the ALCS.

• "Come after me. I'm a man. I'm 40. I'm not a kid. ... That article had to have been written by a person that doesn't have a child." -- Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy, defending a player against a critical newspaper column. And Gundy's tirade plays much better on YouTube.

• "I heard that I made a transfusion with my father's blood. That's absurd. I can tell you that with his blood, I would have tested positive for vodka." - Alexandre Vinokourov of Kazakhstan, one of the Tour de France riders sent home because of doping suspicions.

• "You mean that little midget man who absolutely knows (very little) about baseball, who never played the game before?" - Barry Bonds, asked about criticism of him on Bob Costas' HBO show.

• "I bet on my team every night." - Pete Rose, remembering his days as the Cincinnati Reds manager on ESPN Radio.

• "I would never let a white boy beat me. You can print that. I would never lose to a white person." - Bernard Hopkins, who will fight British super-middleweight Joe Calzaghe this year.

• "Even I've never heard of me!" - Masters champ Zach Johnson, delivering the Top 10 list on David Letterman.

• "I will never be in the Hall of Fame. Never. ... I won't go. I won't be part of it, I won't be there, you can call me, but I won't be there." - Barry Bonds, interviewed on MSNBC's "Countdown with Keith Olbermann," on what he would do if the Baseball Hall of Fame accepts his record 756th home run ball marked with an asterisk.

• "For him to turn his back on us at this point in the year ... when things are probably the toughest, it's cowardly. To duck out the back door at night and then leave us a letter, that's not what a man does." - Falcons quarterback Joey Harrington, on the departure of coach Bobby Petrino's resignation

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Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: profootballweekly.com

FOOTBALL QUOTES

The Ravens' defense put a real muscle job on the Pats receivers, and I expect the Steelers will try to do the same. It's their nature. I remember one former Steeler's story about DB Jack Butler trying to stop R.C. Owens and that Alley-Oop play he used to run with the 49ers, back in the late '50s. "Owens was 6-3, a big target," he said. "And there wasn't much facemask protection in those days. So Butler would jump with him and extend his arms in the air. Then, just as Owens was coming down, he would make fist and pop him in the jaw. Butler was a roughneck, and after a few of those, he swears Owens never caught another TD pass on him."

Jacksonville coach Jack Del Rio is convinced the Colts' defensive line is trained "to bark and flinch and draw people offsides. His offense was flagged four times for false starts last weekend in their tight loss to Indy. I liked Tony Dungy's retort. "That's a curious comment to me," he said. "They go with a silent count."

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Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.