"I think sometimes you guys write the truth but sometimes your editors chop out some important bits - the facts."
Keegan knows how to keep the assembled hacks sweet.
"That's what it said in the papers - let's hope the papers are right!"
When asked if it was true he had £30m to spend in the transfer window.
"Someone has had it away and when I find out who it is, it's going to be bloody. Legs will be broken."
Royals skipper Graeme Murty takes the news that someone has half-inched the shirt he swapped with Ronaldo really well.
"Maybe one of the apprentices has had it. Maybe Murts should check ebay in a day or two!"
Reading striker Kevin 'Columbo' Doyle has his suspicions.
"If the morals of an alley cat exist in the boardroom then you can't expect players to be leaders and virtuous on and off the pitch."
Luton boss Kevin Blackwell has a pop at Liverpool's owners over their treatment of Rafa Benitez ahead of his side's FA Cup third round replay at Anfield.
"I'm much better for having lived in a garage."
New Bolton signing Gretar Steinsson hopes to park himself in the first team after his spell in a lock-up in Switzerland.
"He would go out there on crutches and play if we asked him."
Fulham boss Roy Hodgson gives Jimmy Bullard a leg-up after his return from injury.
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.