SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
.
Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
.
The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
.
For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
.
At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
.
So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
.
As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
.
Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
.
Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
.
I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
.
In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
.
=====================

Sunday, February 24, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: rediff.com

Sports Quotes of 2004

[ Includes Track and Field Sports ]

OLYMPICS

"All these people who crucify me on TV are the same people who wanted to be photographed with me after every success. But after crucifixion comes resurrection" -- Greek sprinter Costas Kenteris before withdrawing from the Games over a missed drugs test.

"I was treated badly. They stripped me off...and even looked into my backside. It was like the Gestapo method in World War Two" -- Hungary's discus gold medallist Robert Fazekas after refusing to give a complete urine sample.

"My victory has proved that athletes with yellow skin can run as fast as those with black and white skin" -- China's Liu Xiang on winning the men's 110 metres hurdles in a world record-equalling time of 12.91 seconds.

"I personally feel that I was the champion that night and what I did was absolutely incredible to come back from 12th place after the vault and I don't think that anyone should take that moment away" -- Paul Hamm, who won the men's all-round gymnastics title due to a scoring error.

"The judges are missing the Olympic spirit, they are stealing our work. So many old people are ruining gymnastics, they have to be tested" -- gymnast Jordan Jovtchev, whose appeal against the rings results was rejected.

"All I want to do now is stand in the corner and howl" -- German equestrian team chief Reinhardt Wendt after Germany lost their two gold medals in the three-day event following a protest by France, Britain and the U.S.

"I was going down the straight, the line just wouldn't come quick enough. I think my heart took me to the line" -- Kelly Holmes on winning the 800 metres, the first of her two golds.

"I started running in high school. I found out if you run fast then you can get girls" -- sprinter Kim Collins.

"It's really quite bizarre but apparently when I swim the 1,500 at this level, I can conceive babies for people. I suppose they're lucky I'm not a sprinter because that's all over in a minute" -- Australian Grant Hackett about e-mails he received from women who got pregnant during his marathon race triumphs.

"Everybody else's family is here, why couldn't I bring my family?" -- American beach volleyball player Misty May, who scattered her dead mother's ashes on court after winning gold.

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP

"The Greeks made football history today. It's amazing what football has managed to do in Greece. It has managed to unite all Greeks all over the world, something that politics are unable to do" -- Greece coach Otto Rehhagel after his team beat Portugal to win Euro 2004.

"When I walk around people salute me and now I must be the only person allowed to drive in the bus lanes" -- Rehhagel about his standing in Greece.

"I don't remember anyone making such an impact on a tournament since Pele in the 1958 World Cup in Sweden" -- England coach Sven Goran Eriksson on teenage England striker Wayne Rooney.

"Holy Madonna of Divine Love, I ask you to forgive me and never to leave me" -- a hand-written card attached to the number 10 shirt worn by Italy forward Francesco Totti in the game against Denmark. Totti asked for divine forgiveness for spitting at Denmark's Christian Poulsen.

SOCCER

"When I was dying, the doors of the AFA (Argentine Football Association) were open for whatever I wanted to do. Now that I'm alive, they don't even call me on the phone to say 'Merry Christmas, Happy New Year'" -- Diego Maradona responding to the possibility of coaching Argentina's national team.

"I have not seen any pizza. What is important for me in football is what happens on the pitch" -- Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger on an alleged food fight which occurred after Manchester United ended the London side's 49-game unbeaten league run with a 2-0 victory at Old Trafford.

"Willy Sagnol can smear the consequences into his hair" -- Bayern Munich commercial manager Uli Hoeness after French international Sagnol criticised the club's decision to fire coach Ottmar Hitzfeld.

MOTOR RACING

"His is a car that goes like a Ferrari and is built like a tractor. It just never breaks down" -- an envious David Coulthard talking about Schumacher's Formula One car.

"I'm not an F1 team principal so I don't change my mind every few minutes" -- FIA president Max Mosley explaining why there was no going back on his decision to stand down. He later changed his mind.

GOLF

"We achieved it much easier than we thought we would. We beat one of the strongest U.S. teams in Ryder Cup history on their home soil. It's just unbelievable" -- European captain Bernhard Langer after his men beat the United States by a record 18-1/2 points to 9-1/2 at Oakland Hills, Detroit, in September.

"I don't hit the ball good but I play what I call ugly golf. I hit a lot of punch shots, a lot of big slices off the tees, or big fades, just to keep the ball in play" -- American outsider Todd Hamilton after winning the British Open at Royal Troon in a four-hole playoff with Ernie Els.

TENNIS

"I threw the kitchen sink at him but he went to the bathroom and came back with his tub" -- Andy Roddick after losing to Roger Federer in the Wimbledon final.

"I guess she went temporarily insane." Serena Williams on umpire Mariana Alves after a controversial line-call against Jennifer Capriati at the U.S. Open.

"For a Serena year, it wasn't superb" -- Serena Williams on her failure to win a grand slam title in 2004.

CRICKET

"The ZCU (Zimbabwe Cricket Union) lawyer called me to say the players are all fired and that they must return their cars to the ZCU. So most of them will be catching buses or be on bicycles from tomorrow" -- Zimbabwe players' lawyer Chris Venturas after 15 rebels were sacked in May.

"To break the world record, not in Australia but in India would probably be my second choice. I'd like to think I'll do it in this test match. If I don't I'd probably be carrying drinks in the next one" -- Australian leg spinner Shane Warne before he became the world's highest wicket taker.

HORSE RACING

"This is the best thing that has happened to me for a long time. I never thought I would win another National. Now you can take me around the corner and shoot me" -- trainer Donald "Ginger" McCain, who guided Red Rum to three Grand National triumphs in the 1970s, after winning a fourth time with Amberleigh House in April.

Describing how Amberleigh House had been purchased in Ireland, McCain said: "I went over to see the horse and the woman who was selling him had the greatest legs I'd ever seen. I'm a great legs man and I couldn't resist. I came home and let John (Halewood) do the deal."

SWIMMING

"One of my friends sent me a text message that just said 'Oops'. It's probably the one thing that sums it up best" -- Ian Thorpe on his disqualification from the 400 metres freestyle at Australia's Olympic trials after he overbalanced on the blocks and fell into the pool before the start.

RUGBY

Wales assistant coach Scott Johnson, an Australian, jokingly apologising for his description of New Zealand: "I wasn't misquoted, I just got it slightly wrong. I actually said 'it's a poxy little island in the Pacific'. In fact, it's two islands."

==================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: swimpsychology.com

 
  SWIMMING QUOTES:

"In training everyone focuses on 90% physical and 10% mental, but in the races its 90% mental because there's very little that separates us physically at the elite level".
Elka Graham

"People ask me 'what was going through your mind in the race?' and I don't know. I try and ...let my body do what it knows".
Ian Thorpe

"I wouldn't say anything is impossible. I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and put the work and time into it".
Michael Phelps

"I have been visualizing myself every night for the past four years standing on the podium having the gold placed around my neck."
Megan Quann

"I concentrate on preparing to swim my race and let the other swimmers think about me, not me about them." Amanda Beard

"Before the (Olympic) trials I was doing a lot of relaxing exercises and visualization. And I think that that helped me to get a feel of what it was gonna be like when I got there. I knew that I had done everything that I could to get ready for that meet, both physically and mentally".
Michael Phelps

"Any time you can get up there and scare a few people, throw up some decent times, it builds up your confidence and also sends a message to other people."
Olympic silver medallist Marianne Limpert

 

"There is water in every lane, so it is OK."
Ian Thorpe (on being in Lane 5 for a final).

"I always have on my headphones to block out all of the other distractions and I'm just focused on doing the best that I can.... There a few of them … DMX Party Up ... Mack 10 BC and Ice Cube Connected for Life. I also listen to the Eminem CD …whichever song really gets me going that night".
Michael Phelps

"Susie had no talent whatsoever. She's a little person who couldn't even make a final at a state meet - coming and showing the world that on sheer guts and determination you can do anything you want!"
Susie Maroney's coach Dick Caine after her 200 kilometre marathon swim from Mexico to Cuba

"You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get".
Michael Phelps

"I swam the race like I trained to swim it. It is not mathematical. I just let my body do it. It is a lot easier if you let your body do what it is trained for."
Ian Thorpe

=====================================

Swimming   ( Source:  forums.quoteland.com )
 
"My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' "
--Paula Poundstone
 





Delicious ideas to please the pickiest eaters. Watch the video on AOL Living.