Brett Hull: "I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie."
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Doug Larson: "Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept."
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Steve Rushin: "By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series."
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Jim Murray: "Hockey is murder on ice."
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Glen Sather: "You can have all the talent in the world, but if the pumper's not there, it doesn't matter."
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Jeremy Roenick, "Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person."
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Paul Coffey: "When we've got the puck, they can't score."
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Brad Park: "We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital."
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Conn Smythe: "Put the kids in with a few old pappy guys who still like to win and the combination is unbeatable."
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Ken Dryden: "There are two types of forwards. Scorers and bangers. Scorers score and bangers bang."
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Eric Lindros, commenting on Flyers GM Bob Clarke's inability to trade him. season: "When you ask for the house, car, cat, dog and all the fish when you're dealing with a player who's got questions about his health, no GM in his right mind is going to say yes and offer to clean the aquarium, too."
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Tony Amonte, on possessing the NHL's second-longest active playing streak: "It must be the body. It�s chiseled out of marshmallows."
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Teemu Selanne, on the importance of the All-Star game: "Winning is always fun, but the car is more important."
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Herb Brooks, 1980 US Olympic hockey coach: "You don't have enough talent to win on talent alone."
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Carolina owner Peter Karmanos, on his refusal to deal with Keith Primeau: "We refuse to pay a prima donna, a petulant, pouting player who had 30 goals last year the same money as Toronto is paying Mats Sundin or Pittsburgh is paying Jaromir Jagr."
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Jeremy Roenick, on the trade rumors around captain Keith Tkachuk: "The only difference between the Coyotes and Days of Our Lives is that nobody has been shot on our team yet."
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Phil Esposito, on his daughter Carrie getting engaged to Alexander Selivanov: "I tried to talk my daughter out of going with a hockey player but, he's a good kid. He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her. I said: "You want to what? I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time."
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Scott Wolf, of the TV show Party of Five after playing in a charity hockey game: "I'm not planning a career change - not unless they need someone who constantly falls on the ice and is out of breath all the time."
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Brendan Morrison's, agent Kurt Overhardt, on his contract negotiations with the Devils: "It's beyond money at this point. They're not even treating him as a member of their family, unless it's a dysfunctional family."
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Mike Modano, on Sergei Fedorov's breaking three sticks on Dallas players: " I don't know if Anna (Kournikova) told him to get tougher or what."
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Roy MacGregor, on Yashin's contract holdout: "Sources also confirm that there is no one left in Canada who can remember when hockey was a simple game, played for fun."
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Wade Redden, on Ottawa's come from behind 6-2 win over Toronto: "Some days, the sun even shines on a dog's butt."
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When Miroslav Satan puts his credit card out to pay bills, he says "They ask me, 'Is this really your name?'" His standard response: "Only in America."
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On the "Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn," Kilborn noted Monday was Anna Kournikova's 18th birthday. Kilborn: "Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.'"
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Brian Skrudland, on the new two-referee system: "I think the game has gotten better. (The two-ref system) keeps players from taking cheap shots behind the play. I never thought I'd like it, considering the way I like to hack."
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Patrick Roy, on his attempt at the Edmonton Oilers empty net: "I guess they respect my shot because they were all ready at the blue line."
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Steve Smith: "Part of the learning curve in Edmonton is learning to hate Calgary."
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Buffalo tough guy Rob Ray, to a reporter after Ray was pounded by Edmonton's Georges Laraque: "What are you, the fight doctor now or something? You've never been in a fight in your life, so what are you talking about?"
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Edmonton's Boris Mironov, on playing with a sore ankle: "I just tape four Tylenols to it."
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Glenn Healy, on his IHL time: "One road trip we were stuck on the runway for seven hours. The plane kept driving and driving until we arrived at the rink and I realized we were on a bus."
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Glenn Healy, on playing in the minors: "I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.
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Roger Newton, Nassau Coliseum general manager joked when a sewage line backed up and leaked into the Islanders dressing room: "Actually we're trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair."
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Kevin Hodson, goalie, on Al MacInnis: "You try to squeeze a little more Charmin in the pads when you face him."
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Mike Milbury, on former Islander Travis Green and his hit on Kenny Jonsson: "He's a gutless puke, that's what Travis Green is. That's why he doesn't wear an Islander uniform any more."
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Bobby Clarke, on signing Kjell Samuelsson: "There's no reason why a player is done at 33, 34. They train better, they eat better, they drink better. This isn't the old days when everybody sat around and drank beer."
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New York Islander General Manager Don Maloney: "I know I'm not very popular on Long Island. I don't know who's less popular, me or Joey Buttafuoco."
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In Chicago, Bob Probert crashed his motorcycle into a car. According to police reports, his blood-alcohol level was more than three times the legal limit and he told officers: "Just charge me with the usual."
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Edmonton's Tyler Wright, on being clubbed by Joe Murphy, "It felt like a golf swing and my head was on the tee."
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The St. Louis Blues Media Guide was recalled to the tune of a $70,000 loss as the result of a listing in the team record section. It related to the amount of 'Oral Satisfaction' that the team got in one game.
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Ron Francis, asked teammate Mario Lemieux what he did to stay in shape in the off season. Lemieux's response: "I don't order fries with my club sandwich."
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Serge Savard, on his firing from Montreal, "I have to thank the guy who fired me because he was also the guy who hired me."
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Dean Lombardi: "At the end of each year I make a list of my mistakes and it's pretty friggin' long."
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TB Coach Terry Crisp, on rookie Alex Selivanov, "Yes the guy can score you 40 goals. Yes I love it. What I don't want is him causing 60."
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Bobby Hull: "I was a multi-millionaire from playing hockey. Then I got divorced, and now I am a millionaire."
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Pat Burns, New Jersey Devil's Coach, after referees negated a line change that led to Tampa Bay's winning goal in the Stanley Cup Playoffs: "After all these years in the league, am I that stupid that I would put four forwards and one defenseman in a 3-3 tie, in the third period? I think everybody that knows me here knows I'm not that stupid. I might be halfway stupid, but not that stupid."
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Steven Tyler, Aerosmith's lead singer, after admiring the Stanley Cup: "This is the only thing that has seen more parties than us."
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Al Michaels, describing Americans' knowledge of hockey prior to the "Miracle on Ice": "People didn't know the difference between a blue line and a clothes line."
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Herb Brooks, 1980 US Olympic hockey coach: "You're playing worse every day and right now you're playing like the middle of next week."
Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.
That afternoon, the ABs trailled the Wallabies 7-22 at halftime. Late in the game, they were still behind 22-25, with the Wallabies desperate to cause a boilover. An almost last-minute try gave the ABs a remarkable 32-25 win. At the post match interview, when asked his thoughts of how the game unfolded, Fitzpatrick replied, "At halftime we felt like Perkins in his heat swim. At fulltime we feel like Perkins after his final win".
'The sky has fallen on our heads' - Bernard Laport, coach of France, after the stunning defeat at the hands of Argentina in the first match of the 2007 RWC tournament.
'Laurence Dallalgio was, as ever, oozing passion on Saturday against the USA. His eyes bulged, and he constantly thumped himself in the chest, but it's during the game that England need all of this - not while he's singing the national anthem' - Martin Johnston, The Daily Telegraph (UK)
'We will keep backing ourselves despite what the critics say - they can go stuff themselves' - Morgan Williams giving it to the journalists a bit more effectively than he and his fellow Wales playerts gave it to Canada in their opening game of the 2007 RWC tournament.
'England speak of things going well in training then they deliver a performance of such ineptitude you wonder ig they aredeluding themselves. On the evidence of this display in their opening match of the 2007 RWC tournament, they have as much chance of finding gold at the end of the rainbow of this World Cup, as the USA Eagles' - Mick Cleary, The Daily Telegraph (UK) putting the boot into England.
'Don't me, I'm not a pychiatrist' - Oliver Magne's response when asked why France sometimes turns up, as in the opening match of the 2007 RWC, and doesn't seem to want to play.