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SPORTS QUOTES
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"Never trust a woman who was a guest on the Jerry Springer Show and who has a t-shirt with "NEXT" printed on the front of it."
-- UC Davis assistant coach Duane Kouba, just thinking out loud. (12/99)
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"It's tough when you lose by three or four touchdowns."
-- Sacramento State men's basketball coach Tom Abatemarco, after his Hornets lost 98-57 to 16th-ranked Minnesota. (12/98)
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"I said earlier they were the best 1-6 team around."
-- Head Coach Henry Clark of Cal State Bakersfield after UC Davis beat his 22nd ranked Roadrunners 69-65 to go 2-6 in CCAA league play. (1/03)
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"When I walked out, I couldn't feel my legs. I tried to act cool, but but I was afraid I might trip over a line. I was just glad to get to the bench and sit down."
-- Interim Indiana Hoosier basketball coach Mike Davis on his first game after replacing legendary Coach Bobby Knight. (12/99)
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"For 16 years I've lived every kid's fantasy. It's unfortunate I didn't come to Houston until I was on the downside. I wish I could have played my entire career here. Basketball doesn't owe me anything. I owe everything in my life to basketball, everything. I'm 37 years old. I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. I have great material things. I've been all over the world, and it's all because of basketball."
-- retiring Houston Rockets poer forward Charles Barkley, after he walked off the NBA hardcourt for the last time. (4/20/00)
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"I can't let him hit me and get away with it. My grandma would be mad at me if I let him get away with it. I had to defend myself."
-- Houston Rockets forward Charles Barkley, after he and Los Angeles Lakers center Shaquille O'Neal were ejected for scuffling in an NBA game won by the Lakers 89-88. (10/99)
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"I still feel funny looking at it. You're not supposed to have a statue when you're alive."
-- baseball Hall-of-Famer Willie Mays, after seeing a replica of the statue of himself which will soon grace the entrance of the San Francisco Giants new Pacific Bell Park. (10/99)
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"I wouldn't give Charles Barkley an apology at gunpoint. He can never expect an apology from me. If anything, he owes me an apology for coming to play with his big fat butt."
-- soon-to-be ex-Houston Rockets forward Scottie Pippen, on his beloved teammate Charles Barkley. (10/99)
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"You want to contain yourself and not get too caught up in the moment. There's a certain honor in playing the game, and I try to stay within that. I was running around the bases, wanting to jump up and down like I was an 8-year old kid and enjoy the moment. But you have a certain responsibility to conduct yourself as a professional. I was taught that by my father."
-- Baltimore Orioles third baseman Cal Ripken after hitting the 400th homerun of his career. He became the 29th member of the 400-homer club. (9/99)
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"This is the same Bill Walton that was at UCLA smoking pot and ... if that's the way Bill feels, that's fine."
-- New York forward Larry Johnson, after Walton said Johnson was a "disgrace to the human race." This was in response to Johnson's comments that his team had "a lot of rebellious slaves" after the Knicks lost 96-89 to the San Antonio Spurs in game four of the 1999 NBA Finals. (6/99)
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"I don't care if anybody likes me or not. I play basketball."
-- New York Knicks forward Larry Johnson, after an 89-81 win over the San Antonio Spurs in game 3 of the 1999 NBA Finals. (6/99)
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"How can he get a technical just for blowing a kiss ?"
-- Los Angeles Lakers head coach Kurt Rambis, after Dennis Rodman was given a technical foul for, well, blowing a kiss to the bench of the Dallas Mavericks after making a free throw. It gives a whole new meaning to "love hurts" ! (3/99)
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"Fire Bowlsby ! Fire Bowlsby ! Fire Bowlsby !"
-- the chant from the students section at Carver Hawkeye Arena as 19th-ranked Iowa beat Northwestern 65-48 in Coach Tom Davis' last home game as the Hawkeye Coach. Coach Davis is being fired by athletic director Bob Bowlsby after 13 seasons at Iowa for his "lack of success." In 13 seasons at Iowa, Davis has a record of 267-137. For you math fans, that's an average season record of 20.5 wins and 10.5 losses ! (2/99)
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"I wasn't the cancer. The cancer is still there. He has white hair. And until they get rid of him, they are going to keep having lapses like this."
-- former Los Angeles and current Denver guard Nick "Benign Tumor" Van Exel, with a thinly veiled attack on his former coach, Del Harris, after the Nuggets beat the slumping Lakers, 92-89. (2/99)
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"I thought the referees did an awful job tonight. I felt like they cheated tonight. And you can quote me on that. And if David Stern and them want to fine me, try to control people with money, they can take double and take triple, but you can't control me with no money. I've been taking this same abuse for seven years. So (expletive) them, I don't care. Fine me. Period. That's all I've got to say."
-- Los Angeles center and most famous NBA player who has never won anything Shaquille O'Neal, after the Lakers lost to Seattle, 92-89. (2/99)
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"There are people who get up at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning and work five straight days. We don't have it bad, do we ?"
-- Toronto Raptors forward Charles Oakley, after hearing of numerous complaints from other NBA players about playing games on three consecutive nights. (2/99)
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"I stunk like old fish grease."
-- Sacramento small forward Corliss Williamson, after making only 2 of 10 shots on opening night in the NBA as the Kings lost to the San Antonio Spurs 101-83. (2/99)
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"They are better than us. They came to our house and proved they were smarter, had more patience, and didn't get rattled. Until we become more cerebral, they will always kick our butts. That's the bottom line."
-- Sonoma State men's basketball coach Pat Fuscaldo, after the Aggies rallied to beat the Cossacks 62-55 in Rohnert Park. (1/99)
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It's beautiful. It was whiter than white, and it was everywhere."
-- 29-year old Anntonett Gomez of Bakersfield, after measurable (6 inches) snow fell in the Southern California town-- for the second time in recorded history. (1/99)
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"I am two or three hours from believing that I shot a 59."
-- PGA golfer David Duval, after shooting a 59 in the final round of the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic and coming from seven strokes down on the final day to win by a single stroke over Steve Pate. It was the best closing round in PGA history, and tied for the lowest round ever in PGA history with Al Geiberger (1977) and Chip Beck (1991). (1/99)
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When I first got here (from Yugoslavia) even for the first couple of years it was a dream. I didn't know what I was and it was not real. Now I'm looking at the NBA with open eyes and realizing that it's an opportunity not too many people get. I thought I was supposed to be here. Now I know that it's a privilege."
-- 7-1 NBA veteran center Vlade Divac, after signing with the Sacramento Kings for $62.5 million for 6 years. (1/99)
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"Their team unity and will to win is very impressive. They don't care about their hair, or if their shorts are long enough. They just play their butts off."
-- Grant High School (Sacramento) guard Stephen Walton, on the No. 1 ranked Oak Ridge (Sacramento) boys basketball team. Grant's only two losses are to Oak Ridge. (1/99)
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The main reason I'm disappointed in the young people in this league is because they look at Michael and they don't understand him. They see the greatest, but they don't know why he was so great. They miss the point. They don't remember or realize that when he first came into the league all he did was drive and dunk on everybody. He worked hard to add a jumpshot, the three-point shot, the post-up moves, the passing, the defense, and the leadership. There are so many guys in the league who don't understand the progression of his greatness. They don't realize that he evolved into what he is now through hard work and tremendous dedication."
-- former NBA great Magic Johnson, on the Chicago Bulls' Michael Jordan, who announced his retirement from basketball. (1/99)
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"I'm not the great big idol with the golden head. I'm John Thompson who's fragile and weak and has to address things that pertain to him also."
-- Goergetown University's coaching icon John Thompson, who unexpectedly and abruptly resigned his coaching position, citing marital and personal matters, after 27 years on the sidelines for the Hoyas. (1/99)
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"I'm trying to think of something nice to say about us. We were lethargic. We missed 10 layups right away and got nothing from the bench."
-- Cincinnati head coach Bob Huggins, after his No. 4 ranked Bearcats squeaked by the lightly-regarded Dayton Flyers 53-51. (12/98)
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I made the first few guys miss and ran downfield. I was so excited, I didn't know what to do in the end zone. I hadn't scored since high school."
-- UC Davis Aggies return specialist Artemus Jones, on his first collegiate touchdown scored in a 48-16 win over Western Oregon. (11/98)
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"It's an old record and I am proud to have a piece of it."
-- Denver Bronco kicker Jason Elam, after kicking an NFL record-tying 63-yard field goal in 37-24 victory over Jacksonville. New Orlean's Tom Dempsey set the record in 1970. (10/98)
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"It's another hill to climb."
-- New York Yankee right fielder Darryl Strawberry, after being unexpectedly sidelined by colon cancer during the American League playoffs. (10/98)
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He knows what that piece of wood is for, and it's not to clean off his shoes."
-- Texas manager Johnny Oates, on the bat swung by rookie sensation Shane Spencer of New York during the Yankees 3-1 win over the Rangers in the second game of their playoff series. Spencer hit a homer and a single in the win. After spending eight years in the minor leagues, Spencer was called up by the Yankees on August 31. He hit eight homeruns including three grand slams-- tying a club season record held by Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Joe DiMaggio-- during the month of September. (10/98)
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Usually, the doctors check a fighter's heart, but with Larry and me, they're just going to see if we have a pulse."
-- former heavyweight boxing champion George Foreman, on his upcoming fight with former heavyweight boxing champion Larry Holmes. Holmes turns 49 on November 3. Foreman turns 50 on January 23. (9/98)
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"First time I cry in my life."
-- 20-year old LPGA golfer Se Ri Pak, after becoming the youngest winner of the U.S. Women's Open by beating another 20-year old, Jenny Chuasiriporn, by one stroke in a 20-hole playoff. Chuasiriporn is an amateur. (7/98)
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"Deep forest, great forest, something forest. Maybe stay out of the woods."
-- amateur golfer Wannalee (Jenny) Chuasiriporn, when asked by a reporter the meaning of her first name. (7/98)
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"I feel like a criminal. Each rider had two police officers. They put me under pressure for four or five hours. They took everything. I undressed. They could see all of me. I went in to a cell with a wooden bed. But I feel better inside because I have told the truth. Perhaps it is good for the sport."
-- Tour de France cyclist Armin Meier, after being banned from the race for admittedly taking the drug EPO, a hormone that increases the red blood supply. (7/98)
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"You get so nervous, you want to throw up."
-- PGA golfer Tom Lehman, who has played in the final group of the fourth round of the U.S. Open for the past four years. (6/98)
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"It's totally out of hand. I feel like a caged animal."
-- St. Louis Cardinal's slugger Mark McQwire, on his reluctance to take batting practice before games. His swings and distances of his drives have been shown on the pre-game scoreboard in some ballparks. (6/98)
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"The only person I'm intimidated by is my ex-wife."
-- Chicago Bulls' Dennis Rodman, when asked if he was intimidated by Utah Jazz' Karl Malone. (6/98)
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"I get really sick of turning on 'America's Most Wanted' or 'Cops' and seeing someone wearing our stuff being busted."
-- Morris Bradshaw, director of marketing for the Oakland Raiders. (6/98)
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"This will go down in Chicago history with the other big massacres, like the Valentine's Day Massacre and all the rest of them."
-- Utah forward Adam Keefe, after the Chicago Bulls defeated the Jazz 96-54 in Game 3 of the NBA Finals. (6/98)
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"Considering my age, you'd think they'd want to put my face on a bottle of Geritol."
-- '60's space hero and Ohio Senator John Glen, after learning that fellow lawmakers want his picture on a box of Wheaties after Glen flies in another space shuttle in October 1998. (5/98)
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"Right now, I hate his guts."
-- Los Angeles Lakers point guard Nick Van Exel, on Utah Jazz point guard John Stockton. Utah leads the best of seven Western Conference Championship series 2-0. (5/98)
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"I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don't remember what I said last night."
-- Laker center Shaquille O'Neal (5/98)
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"Anyone who thinks this has been an overnight success story, and that this has been an easy journey, obviously hasn't rode on the same train as we have."
-- UC Davis men's head basketball coach Bob Williams, on his team's success this season. (3/98)
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"We played like we had everything to lose and nothing to win."
-- UC Davis men's basketball coach Bob Williams, after his team's shaky effort in a playoff win over Cal State Stanislaus, 62-52. (2/98)
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"I hope five to 10 years from now, if I'm still able to play golf, the PGA will lean back and scratch their heads and say, `Why did we fight this guy ?' "
-- professional golfer Casey Martin, after a federal court ruled that as a disabled golfer, Martin can ride a cart on the PGA golf tour. (2/98)
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"They're at the graduate level, and we're still in Basketball 101."
-- Phoenix Suns coach Danny Ainge, on the 25-6 Seattle Supersonics. (1/98)
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"He's a first-class human being. He represents all the things that most of the great runners represent, because most of the great runners don't dance after scoring touchdowns. We hand the ball to the referee."
-- Hall of Fame running back Jim Brown, on Detroit Lions running back Barry Sanders. (12/97)
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"His majesty Jordan had no fouls in 38 minutes when he's hammering people. So we have a lot of things to overcome. It's almost like the world heavyweight boxing champion. You can't win on points."
-- Miami coach Pat Riley on Chicago's Michael Jordan, after the Heat lost to the Bulls in a game where Miami had 8 more fouls than Chicago. (12/97)
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"Are you kidding ? We just got back from a long road trip. I miss my wife a lot more than I miss Larry."
-- Phoenix Suns coach Danny Ainge, when asked if he would get together with former Boston Celtics teammate and current Indiana Pacers coach Larry Bird when the Pacers recently played the Suns. (12/97)
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"It's kind of scary. You don't buy that magazine to look at someone like me."
-- University of Washington junior Todd MacCullough, on being named to Playboy magazine's preseason All-America basketball team. (12/97)
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"If screaming in a player's face was a crime, John Thompson and Bobby Knight would be on death row."
-- Washington Post writer Michael Wilbon. (12/97)
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"I think it's pretty simple. You choke a coach, threaten to kill him, if he didn't trade you, with intent to do harm, and it takes eight people to restrain you. If that's not grounds for the termination of employment, I don't know what is."
-- Warriors general counsel Robin Baggett, on the Sprewell situation. (12/97)
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"If I am the problem, I can be removed."
-- Detroit Pistons' coach Doug Collins, on the team's 11 losses in the first 15 games. (12/97)
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"No one sits on the bench in cross country. The worst players get the most playing time."-- Jesuit High School coach Walt Lange, one of the most successful cross country coaches in the country. (11/97)
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"I think my first name is Interim now. I've got to check my birth certificate."
-- former Sac State men's basketball coach and Arizona State Interim coach Don Newman, on his constantly being reminded about his temporary status. (11/97)
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"If the NBA doesn't happen, I can live with it. I gave it my best shot...I see disabled people, people in wheel chairs, and they keep going. That's my inspiration. If I don't make it what do I have to complain about ?"
-- 23-year old former Sac State basketball player Damond Edwards, the newest member of the world-famous Harlem Globetrotters. (11/97)
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"I'm not selling the house yet."
-- Chicago coach Phil Jackson on the Bull's 6-4 start. (11/97)
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"We're like Iraq. We're hiding missiles. We've got two missiles in reserve."
-- New Jersey forward Jayson Williams on the Nets playing without injured starters Keith Van Horn and Kerry Kittles. (11/97)
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"I have seen the future, and he wears No. 21."
-- Houston Rockets forward Charles Barkley referring to San Antonio Spurs rookie Tim Duncan. (11/97)
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"Anybody who doesn't believe in God, I ask them to explain this."
-- 5-foot-5, 120-pound Center High School (Sacramento) senior Anthony Colson, after he triple jumped 51 feet, 3 inches at the Sac-Joaquin Section Track and Field Championships at U. C. Davis. It is the longest mark in California and the 4th longest in the nation this year.
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"Aggie head football coach Bob Biggs could tell you the meaning of Solo East Wing Trade Z Sail, Fake 53 294 Y Switch, but then he'd have to kill you. Wouldn't he ?"
-- a Wall Street Journal representative who attempted, but failed, to obtain that most closely guarded of all documents: the football playbooks of U C Berkeley, UCLA and U C Davis.
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