SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Thursday, September 11, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: special-dictionary.com

Elizabeth Hurley

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SPORTS QUOTES
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I keep getting these extraordinary letters, really weird ones from American sports stars - 'I've always thought you were one pretty lady and now that you're single I want to meet you for a drink.'
Elizabeth Hurley
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I'm not a big sports fan, but I love it when they slam dunk. That's sexy.
Emma Bunton
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Basketball is the MTV of sports.
Sara Levinson
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Anybody who plays sports and says they've never choked is lying to you.
Pete Sampras
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I was keen on sports-that's how my nose got this way. It's not actually broken; the nose was just pushed up a little bit and moved over. It's an aquiline nose, quite Irish.
John Hurt
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Academics often discount the value of top-rated sports programs in helping to develop a campus life and in contributing to the overall success of a college or university. Like it or not, the sports programs a college or university has are the front page of that university
James E. Rogers
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It is far easier to get a contribution to the academic arena of a school when the sports program is at the top of mind of a potential donor. Ask those at Stanford, USC, Notre Dame, Berkeley and Michigan, all first-class academic institutions, how much easier it is to raise funds from a donor when the sports programs are successful.
James E. Rogers
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Being a sports fan is a complex matter, in part irrational but not unworthy a relief from the seriousness of the real world, with its unending pressures and often grave obligations.
Richard Gilman
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It isn't hard to be good from time to time in sports. What's tough is being good every day.
Willie Mays
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Sports plays a societal role in engendering jingoist and chauvinist attitudes. They're designed to organize a community to be committed to their gladiators.
Noam Chomsky
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The sports world is an echo chamber. All it takes is one quote from a general manager and a thousand sports columns bloom.
Michael Lewis
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There's nothing masculine about being competitive. There's nothing masculine about trying to be the best at everything you do, nor is there anything wrong with it. I don't know why a female athlete has to defend her femininity just because she chooses to play sports.
Rebecca Lobo
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: geocities.com

Image: daylife.com
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CHESS QUOTES
Quotes on chess by Isaac Asimov, noted SciFi author
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Isaac Asimov and Chess
by Bill Wall
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Isaac Asimov was born in 1920. In his lifetime, he wrote over 500 books.
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One of his first science fiction stories, Nightfall, written in 1941, contains a reference to chess. A multi-chess board was set up and a six-member game was started. In 1968, the Science Fiction Writers of America voted Nightfall the best science fiction short story ever written. When the book was expanded into a novel, multi-chess had been changed to stochastic chess.
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His first published novel, Pebble in the Sky, published in 1950, propelled a man thousands of years into the future. The only thing that did not change, after thousands of years, was the game of chess. The novel also mentioned variants of chess such as 3-D chess, and chess played with dice.
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In 1979, Asimov wrote Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts. On page 68, he says, "The number of possible ways of playing just the first four moves on each side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000."
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This may be wrong. The number of possible ways for White to play the first move is 20 (16 pawn moves and 4 knight moves). For the first move with Black, the number is 400. For the 2nd move for white, the number of possible moves is 8,902 (5,362 distinct). For the 2nd move for Black, the number of possible moves is 197,281 (71,852 distinct). For the 3rd move for White, the number of possible moves is 4,865,617. For the 3rd move for Black, the number of possible moves is 119,060,679. For the 4th move for White, the number of possible moves is 3,195,913,043. For the 4th move for Black, the number of possible moves is 84,999,425,906. This is smaller than what Asimov says.
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In 1981, Asimov wrote a science fiction short story called The Perfect Fit. He referred to a 3-dimensional chess game which was a game with 8 chessboards stacked upon each other, making the playing area cubic rather than square.
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He has been quoted as saying, "In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate."
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In 1990, he wrote an essay for the Los Angeles Times about computer chess vs. human intelligence.
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In 1994, Isaac Asimov's last autobiography, I. Asimov: A Memoir, was published. He died in 1992 of AIDS after a blood transfusion during heart surgery. In his chapter titled Games, this is what he said about chess.
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Failure at physical sports has never bothered me...What bothered me, though, was my failure at chess. When I was quite young and had a checkerboard, but no chess pieces, I read books on the game and learned the various moves. I then cut out cardboard squares on which I drew the symbols for the various pieces, and tried to play games with myself. Eventually I managed to persuade my father to get me real chessmen. Then I taught my sister the moves and played the game with her. Both of us played very clumsily indeed.
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My brother, Stanley, who watched us play, learned the moves and, eventually, asked if he might play. Ever the indulgent older brother, I said, "Sure," and prepared to beat the pants off him. The trouble was that in the first game he ever played he beat me.
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In the years that followed, I discovered that everyone beat me, regardless of race, color, or religion. I was simply the most appallingly bad chess player who ever lived, and, as time went on, I just stopped playing chess.
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My failure at chess was really distressing. It seemed completely at odds with my "smartness," but I now know (or at least have been told) that great chess players achieve thier results by years and years of studying chess games, by the memorization of large numbers of complex "combinations." They don't see chess as a succession of moves but as a pattern. I know what that means, for I see an essay or a story as a pattern.
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But these talents are different. Kasparov sees a chess game as a pattern but an essay as a mere collection of words. I see an essay as a pattern and a chess game as a mere collection of moves. So he can play chess and I can write essays and not vice versa.
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That's not enough, however. I never thought of comparing myself to grand masters of chess. What bothered me was my inability to beat anyone! The conclusion that I finally came to (right or wrong) was that I was unwilling to study the chessboard and weigh the consequences of each possible move I might make. Even people who couldn't see complex patterns might at least penetrate two or three moves ahead, but not I. I moved entirely on impulse, if not at random, and could not make myself do anything else. That meant I would almost certainly lose.
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And again - why? To me, it seems obvious. I was spoiled by my ability to understand instantly, my ability to recall instantly. I expected to see things at once and I refused to accept a situation in which that was not possible.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportsfanmagazine.com




Top: George Allen Image: judicial-inc.biz
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Middle: Don Shula Image: archive.managernewz.com
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Bottom: Joe Gibbs Image: communities.canada.com
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NFL QUOTES
Quotes by and about 3 NFL Hall of Fame coaches
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Many times Allen was seen staring into a deep and mysterious distance on the sidelines with tears running down his face. Later he had no recollection of weeping.
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He once called out the owner of the Rams saying that a man who goes out and parties after a loss is twice a loser. He's a loser once for having lost and a loser twice for going out and having fun as though losing didn't matter.
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His practices were often closed to the press and public. He hired private-eyes and helicopters to search for spies.
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Deacon Jones once said in an interview with SportsFan Magazine that "George Allen had a way to make a man want to reach into his very soul, even at a moment of great personal despair, and pull out a game!"
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Coach Allen operated on that level. He was the epitome of the modern coach, he didn't wear a suit on the sidelines like everyone else, and he wore sweat pants and Redskins gear and his lucky Redskins ball cap with the scripted "R" on the crown.
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Understand, George Allen never had a losing season. Even when he coached high school in his 70's. The loss to the undefeated, forever undefeated, Miami Dolphins in Super Bowl VII wasn't just one game, one loss. It was the culmination of decades of dedication, blood, sweat and tears, finagling, haggling, fighting the establishment, being given horridly moribund teams and turning them around almost over night. His innovations from the nickel defense to redesigns of team practice facilities altered the way every team approached the game of football from that time onward. But in the end, the same stubbornness that made him so unique, denied him entry to the Promised Land, and delayed his induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame by 25 years.
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Sonny Jurgensen sat at the bar at Don Shula's restaurant in Miami next to the coach himself and surveyed the pictures of players on the wall from Miami's undefeated season in 1972, and quipped, "You know Don, if I had played in that game, (Super Bowl VII), none of those pictures would be up there." And Shula answered, "You're probably right."
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Shula wasn't humoring the Redhead, he was sincere. The greatest pure passer of his generation, according to none other than Vince Lombardi, had a habit of calling his own plays, and he was a master at it. The Redskins offense generated not a single point during Super Bowl VII, yet Sonny watched the game in his street clothes from George Allen's doghouse.
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Why? Earlier in the season, Allen deliberately insulted the Hall of Fame quarterback by inserting him into a game to take a knee on the last play of the first half. Instead, Sonny got into the huddle and called his own play, a 42 yard touchdown to Charley Taylor that sent the crowd into a delirium. But you and I both know a universal truth don't we? You don't show up the boss. That was the end of Sonny Jurgensen.
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When Allen was at last inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2002, Billy Kilmer's voice broke with emotion over the phone when he told SportsFan Magazine. "I wouldn't have been nothin' without George Allen. I can't say it any better'n that. He stuck with me for years and years. I only wish I had played better in that Super Bowl, 'cause it meant everything to George, and it meant the world to me."
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George Allen and Don Shula were Hall of Fame coaches who bridged the gap between old school and new. When they were through, quarterbacks had been diminished to the role of functuaries.
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Shula remembers his first year coaching the Colts. He says that the first time he sent in a play the quarterback called time out and trotted to the sideline. When he met the coach on the sideline the quarterback patted him on the head and said, "Look Donny, I call the plays around here," and trotted back to the huddle.
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To my mind, the league would be a lot better today if the young coach had slapped his own forehead and muttered, "What was I thinking? That's Johnny Unitas!"
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Joe Gibbs, the devoted stepchild of Allen and Shula, won three Super Bowls with three different quarterbacks, neither of which are in the Hall of Fame, and haven't even had their numbers retired.
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Why? Because Joe Gibbs is really the quarterback. The man under center today is, by and large, a flesh and blood conduit of the coaches wills, a video game curser, if you will.
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"If things go wrong, the coach is the one who's going to lose his job, not the quarterback," Gibbs once said, "I'd rather have my fate in my own hands."
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In a locker room interview after a 38 - 9 blow-out loss to the Raiders in Super Bowl XVIII, Theismann explained the philosophy perfectly when he said, "I had a good game. I did everything I was supposed to do, everything I was asked."
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