FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: allthelyrics.com

GOLF SONG

Song lyrics by Bing Crosby

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"Straight Down The Middle"

by Bing Crosby

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F O R E !

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Straight down the middle

It went straight down the middle

Then it started to hook just a wee wee bit

That's when my caddie lost sight of it

That little white pellet has never been found to this day

But it went straight down the middle like they say

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Whack down the fairway

It went smack down the fairway

Then it started to slice just a smidge off line

It headed for two but it bounced off nine

My caddie says long as you're still in the state you're okay

Yes it went straight down the middle quite a ways

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The sun was never brighter

The greens were never greener

And I was never keener to play

I heard it came down the middle

It went zing down the middle

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Oh the life of a golfer is not all gloom

There's always the lies in the locker room

And I'm in my glory when wrapped in a towel

I sayThat it went straight down the middle today

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Oh the life of a golfer is not all gloom

Though they charge just for listening in the locker room

But I'm in my glory when wrapped in a towel I say

That it went straight down the middle

Where it wound up is a riddle

But it went straight down the middle far away

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: Various - see post

SPORTS QUOTES
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If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."
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"Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."
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Above quotes by Charles Barkley from wikiquote.com (cited by mahalo.com)
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Sailing isn't a sport, sailing is a way to get somewhere. Riding a bus isn't a sport, why the fock should sailing be a sport?
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Quote by George Carlin on foxestalk.co.uk/forums
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

Jelena Jankovic

Image: tennisforum.com

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TENNIS QUOTES

Quotes from U.S. Open, 2008 (Flushing Meadows, N. Y.)

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Click here to view quotes ====> U. S. OPEN

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Other tennis players cited in article:

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Sofia Arvidsson

Novak Djokovic

Arnaud Clement

Anne Keothavong

Andy Murray

Lindsay Davenport

Svetlana Kuznetsova

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cracked.com

Image: adminpick.com

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BASEBALL QUOTES

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11 Baseball Legends Who Were Legendary Assholes

By Chris Morgan

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In his article, Chris Morgan cites the following 11 for his condemnation:

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11. Jose Canseco

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10. Charles Comiskey

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9. John McGraw

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8. Roger Clemens

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7. Tom Yawkey

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6. Keith Hernandez

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5. Ugueth Urbina

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4. Kenesaw Mountain Landis

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3. Marge Schott

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2. Barry Bonds

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1. Ty Cobb

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The condemnations begin here ===> A. H.

==============================

Comments on the author's article can be posted at the end of the article.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: searchwarp.com

Image: sawxblog.com
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BASEBALL QUOTES
Quotes about Ted Williams
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Excerpts from 17 Quotes about Ted Williams by Noel Jameson
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There's only one way to become a hitter. Go up to the plate and get mad. Get mad at yourself and mad at the pitcher.
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A man has to have goals - for a day, for a lifetime - and that was mine, to have people say, 'There goes Ted Williams, the greatest hitter who ever lived.'
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All managers are losers, they are the most expendable pieces of furniture on the face of the Earth.
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By the time you know what to do, you're too old to do it.
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God gets you to the plate, but once your there your on your own.
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Hitting is the most important part of the game. It is where the big money is, where much of the status is, and the fan interest.
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I've found that you don't need to wear a necktie if you can hit.
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You have to hit the fastball to play in the big leagues.
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To view the entire article, click here ---> 406
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: givemefootball.com

SOCCER QUOTES
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"We can't behave like crocodiles and cry over spilled milk and broken eggs."
Italian coach Giovanni Trappatoni makes Eric Cantona sound normal.
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"We've got a monster around our neck after beating England, but we must feed it."
Former Aussie boss Frank Farina puts on his Crocodile Dundee hat.
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"At the end of the day, it's all about what's on the shelf at the end of the year."
Steve Coppell has the January sales in mind.
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"We have to roll up our sleeves and get our knees dirty."
Howard Wilkinson gets back to basics.
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"Our goalkeeper didnt have a save to make in 90 minutes, and yet he still ended up conceding four goals."
Time for Joe Royle to get a new keeper, me thinks.
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"It will be a cracking match and a close one - maybe decided by a referee's decision, an odd bounce or something like an over-the-line goal."
Neil Warnock keeps his options open.
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"Dave has this incredible knack of pulling a couple of chickens out of the hat each season."
Mark McGhee enthuses about the qualities of new signing David Copperfield.
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"Although we are playing Russian Roulette we are obviously playing Catch 22 at the moment and its a difficult scenario to get my head round."
Paul Sturrock's confused...and so are we.
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"Where do you get an experienced player like him with a left foot and a head?"
Only fitting that we should end with another gem from the great man who is Sir Bobby Robson.
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