FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com

BASKETBALL HUMOR \ SONG
Hip-hop video salutes the sport of basketball and many of its legends
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How many basketball legends are mentioned by name or nickname in this video?
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Click here to view ===> BASKETBALL
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com

SPORTS HUMOR \ SONG
Hip-hop video to cheer you up after a frustrating or unexpected sports loss
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So, your team didn't make the Series, the playoffs,
or win 50% of its games.
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So you didn't get that NBA contract, or make the
cheerleading squad , or meet Michael Phelps.
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So you lost money on Big Brown at the Belmont Stakes,
or on the Patriots in the Super Bowl, or on somebody
to beat Michael Phelps in the Olympics.
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One hop-hop novelty song encapsulates all that misery
for you in a video that outlines misery and an all-encompassing
resolution in one single expression!
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Some say "Oh well, that's life", others say "C'est la vie" and the
novelty song says it best -
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Click here to view ===> HIP HOP NOVELTY SONG
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Feel better now?
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: shamsports.com

JEFF VAN GUNDY

Image: knickerbockerbeat.com
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BASKETBALL QUOTES
Quotes by and about NBA players
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"Sometimes I look like I was under interrogation. Some people just don't look good in clothes. In New York, Armani and all those clothing people used to call me up and tried to pay me not to wear their clothes. This is as good as it's going to get...and then it's all downhill. I'll be fine. I never feel as bad as I look."
- Jeff Van Gundy.
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"Me as a backup center? Hell no."
- Dikembe Mutombo, on possibly coming off the bench for the Nets during the playoffs.
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"It's very hard. You have to prepare for it. A lot of people say, 'I can do this, I can do that.' But that's hard. You're looking into a camera and you're not seeing anybody. You've got to talk to people that you can't see. That's the toughest part."
- Tim Hardaway, on his work as an ESPN studio analyst.
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"Look at my teeth. While I was growing up, I was unable to get the work on my teeth done that I needed. So the goal is to take care of kids who can't afford to go to the dentist."
- Eric Williams, on why he's starting a charity foundation.
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"It was fabricated by someone in the media. It was very convenient it came out the day of the game. It was a...comment started by someone in the Pistons' organization to get them fired up. I heard I said it on TV. I heard I said it on the radio. I heard I said it in a Houston newspaper. There hasn't been anybody that can tell me where it came from."
- Richard Jefferson, after being played a tape of him saying that Detroit is the most overrated team in the Eastern Conference.
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"I kind of knew Cleveland was going to get the No. 1 pick. I think they rigged it. No, don't quote me on that."
- Carmelo Anthony.
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"From a business perspective, it's great for the NBA. It's reality television, people love train-wreck television and you hate to admit it, but that is the truth, that's the reality today."
- Mark Cuban, on Kobe Bryant being on trial.
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"I'd probably hire me."
- George Karl, on who he'd hire to replace him in Milwaukee.
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"Anybody who plays in this league and hasn't won a championship is the same. Charles Barkley? He's the same player as I am, because he didn't win it all. The guys who have won it all, and I don't care who they are, are two steps above the rest of us."
- Grant Long.
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"I make teams win."
- Scot Pollard.
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"We call those people player-haters."
- Jalen Rose, on critics who say that he and Scottie Pippen can't co-exist.
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"I wouldn't have been scared to go to the West. Nobody scares me."
- Jason Kidd, who decided not to go to the West.
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"I wasn't like, I really want to stop this guy. There are some guys on my team that said, 'I want to guard him. I want to guard him.' I let them if they wanted to do it."
- Boris Diaw, Hawks guard, on playing against LeBron James in a summer league game.
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"None"
- Gary Payton, on his experience running the triangle offense.
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"You need me, I need you. You come to L.A., we rule that world."
- Shaq, to Karl Malone, convincing him to sign with the Lakers.
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"I didn't want to be like some of these other guys to jump on another team's bandwagon just to get a ring. That's never been my style."
- Reggie Miller, on re-signing with the Indiana Pacers.
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"If I was coming in here and playing 10 minutes a night, that's riding a coattail. I'll tell you what, I wasn't pulling against the Lakers, but it made my decision a lot easier when they didn't win. When I heard Reggie make his decision, I like Reggie and I won't elaborate, but I'll say this: He had opportunity to do what I did and take less money. But he chose to make more money and stay where he was at. So, God bless him and God bless me. At some point, somebody had to make some statement to say it's not all about the money all the time. Now, I don't want to hide the fact it wouldn't have been nice to make $10 million a year. Don't get me wrong. But how is that to the regular fan now? But, Reggie, Reggie stayed in Indiana for the money. He stayed for the money, I didn't. So let him keep talking. I did hear, 'I'm just glad to end my career where I started.' Reggie, just say you stayed for the money."
- Karl Malone, responding to Reggie Miller's claim that he was riding Shaq's coattails in L.A.
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"I didn't know I had this many fans in Puerto Rico. I'm going to carry this memory to my grave."
- Allen Iverson.
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"I love Lamar. But at some point in time he's got to make the decision over what's more important, getting high or his career that's going to get him a $70 million contract."
- Alvin Gentry, former Clippers coach, on Lamar Odom.
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"That's my peripheral."
- Vince Carter, after narrowly ducking out of the way of a mini-basketball fired at his head by a kid in the stands in Puerto Rico during Olympic qualifying.
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"I tried to call the guys in the city to come out to my home, but cellphones weren't working. Yeah, I guess I had it good, sitting there with the A/C watching the flatscreen TV and taking a warm shower."
- Elton Brand, who stayed with his family in Westchester and had power within one hour of the blackout.
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"I'm never compared to the Mailman -- but I can deliver."
- Keon Clark.
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"I started despising him. We sat down a lot, but it always ended up being him talking and me listening."
- Ray Allen, on George Karl.
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"It's good that I became a pro early, too, because I was doing some real stupid things as a kid growing up in Compton, Calif. I remember me and my cousins walking across a rusty metal pipe that spanned across a ditch that was 50 to 75 feet deep. Pipes like that ran from mountain to mountain. I walked part of the way, stopped because I'm scared of heights and crawled the rest of the way. The pipe was about 50 yards long and 24 inches in diameter. But if I had slipped and fallen off that pipe, I could have gotten killed. So maybe turning pro saved me because it took me away from doing silly, dangerous stuff like that."
- Tyson Chandler, on why it's good that he went pro after high school.
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"If I had a player out of line, I would bench him. That's all you can do, bench him. You don't kiss nobody's rear end, because it stinks."
- Ron Artest.
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Kobe: "I definitely don't need any advice on how to play my game."
Shaq: "As we start this new season we want (stuff) done right, (stuff) has to get done right. If you don't like it then you can opt out next year. As long as it's my team I'll voice my opinion. If you don't like it, opt out. Yeah (it's my team). Everybody knows that. You guys [the media] may give it to (Bryant) like you've given him everything else his whole lifetime, but this is The Diesel's ship."
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"You're not paying me enough for this [stuff]."
- Karl Malone, on what he told Shaq and Kobe during their feud.
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"I like my fish fried, died and laid to the side."
- Keyon Dooling, on eating sushi.
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"They make teriyaki here?"
- Chris Kaman, on visiting Japan.
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"Going through the whole process of negotiation was a little stressful. It goes back and forth, back and forth."
- Desmond Mason, telling us what we already know.
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"If he had been at The Alamo, they might have won. He would have convinced them they were better than the other guys."
- Doc Rivers, on Drew Gooden's confidence.
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"I don't want to clarify. Listen, we've all been here seven years, I say sh*t. I'll never clarify it. That's your job to figure it out...I'm not going to elaborate why two plus two is four. That's just the answer. You figure out why two plus two is four."
- Shaq, after saying that Phil Jackson is no longer part of his life.
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"That's happens in practice all the time. He knows it, too. You can ask him."
- Bostjan Nachbar, after making a tough dunk while having to go around his teammate Yao Ming.
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"I will make him shut up."
- Yao Ming.
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"I don't like baseball, but I love Sammy Sosa, and he deserves a championship. Baseball's too boring. I went out one day when I was a kid to play baseball and never came back. I was in the outfield bored out of my mind. And I'll never let my kids play. It's too boring. I want something up and down, like football or track or basketball. Baseball guys sure get a lot of money for standing in the outfield."
- Bobby Jackson.
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"The AI offense...get the ball to AI and clear out."
- Kevin Ollie, on the offense they ran when he was playing in Philly.
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"I haven't returned a phone call since I've been in the league. Whether it's Mark Cuban or Jerry West."
- Nick Van Exel.
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"I just cut the hair to get off to a fresh start, to start over. We're going into a new arena. We have a new coach. I wanted to start over and just be done with last year. I just thought cutting my hair off was just me changing."
- Moochie Norris, on cutting off his hair.
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"Right now, he thinks he's Toni Kukoc. I want him to play like Bill Russell but I don't think he knows who Bill Russell is."
- Larry Brown, on Darko Milicic.
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"And one thing I know we miss is his passing. He made some great passes. He hit guys who were open. He was a great passer."
- Don Chaney, waxing poetic about Latrell Sprewell.
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"It's not like he is playing a blind man or a guy with an English accent. It should come naturally."
- Calvin Andrews, Carmelo Anthony's agent, on 'Melo making his acting debut playing a basketball star from a gritty background.
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"[We're] running on bloody stumps because we are shooting ourselves in the foot repeatedly."
- Jeff Van Gundy, on the Rockets effort.
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"He was basically like Ron Artest from last season. He's got his Super Bowl ring, right? They gave him all his money, right? Now he can use the time off to go get his attitude right."
- Ron Artest, on Keyshawn Johnson getting deactivated by the Buccaneers.
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"I don't give a [expletive] about trade rumors. As long as somebody CTC at the end of the day, I'm with them."
- Rasheed Wallace (CTC stands for "Cuts The Check").
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"Before this year I knew he was one of the best centers in the NBA. Now I have to find out if he's a good teacher. We've only just started so I'll have to tell you later."
- Yao Ming, on Rockets assistant coach Patrick Ewing.
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"You guys are driving me [bleeping] crazy. It's not about Dikembe. I'm coaching the team. I'm telling you if there's a matchup problem, and you still don't understand it. Why should I waste my breath?"
- Don Chaney, after the Knicks beat writers asked why he benched Mutombo in back-to-back games.
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"I'm trying to help you guys out. You write about the game but evidently you don't know the game. You ask me questions. I'm trying to give you an idea of what it's about and you still don't listen to me. I don't like wasting my time. If you ask me something, you should listen to me or you should watch the game. That's all I want you to do."
- Don Chaney, again.
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"There are nights when I can see his warts, his deficiencies. Sometimes you want him to not take the gambles with the pass that he does. Maybe too many turnovers. Sometimes you say, 'What in the world is he thinking?' or 'Is he thinking at all?'"
- Don Nelson, on Antoine Walker.
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"That must be an Ohio thing. They would laugh at me back home if I wore a mink coat. But LeBron looked good in it. It sure made him look like he has a lot of money."
- Darius Miles, on LeBron wearing a white mink coat on Monday Night football.
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"I play using everybody, but most of the time I play with Atlanta [quarterback] Mike Vick. He's a Nike player. Make sure you note that."
- LeBron James, on playing Madden 2004.
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"Dennis Rodman may be incoherent for much of ESPN's reality side show about his life, but you still have a better chance of understanding him than Stephen A. Smith."
- Peter Vecsey.
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"I'll bet that if you have a meal in the ESPN cafeteria it would feature stale rolls and two-day-old coffee."
- Dr. Z, Sports Illustrated columnist.
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"They're not so happy because I don't find Krispy Kreme. They want Krispy Kreme. I like the Dunkin' Donuts. What's wrong with them? I don't know where the Krispy Kreme store is. I have to find one."
- Boris Diaw, on disappointing his Hawks teammates by not doing his rookie duties correctly.
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"It's laughable, but it's not funny"
- Damon Stoudamire, on Zach Randolph getting arrested on marijuana charges.
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"Getting elbows in the face - I've missed that."
- Elton Brand, after Melvin Ely busted his lip in his first practice back from injury.
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"That was cold-blooded."
- Paul Pierce, on Kenyon Martin making fun of Alonzo Mourning's kidney disease.
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"We'll put it in our scouting report, maybe it'll help us next time."
- Jalen Rose after Kobe dropped 81 points on the Raptors.
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"People touching me. On our team we got a lot of young guys and they always want to poke at you and tickle you and stuff and I really hate that."
- Eddy Curry on his pet peeves
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"I'm not the best rapper in the NBA. Elton Brand is better than me. Stephen Jackson is better than me. Troy Hudson is nice. Troy Hudson has fire."
- Ron Artest
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"Anytime you bring Michael Olowokandi on to your team, disaster is soon to follow."
- Bill Walton
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"I've been clean since I've been in the league, I've been clean since I've been in college, I've been clean since I've been in high school, middle school, elementary school. I'm just cleaner than clean. I'm cleaner than Pine-Sol."
- Sonics F Reggie Evans in response to the drug test he was required to take at halftime
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"I'm telling you, Darko is a Serbian gangster. Darko's got some bodies back there [in Serbia-Montenegro]. He can go psycho on guys."
- Rasheed Wallace on teammate Darko Milicic
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"I cherished getting kicked out of school. It was a great thing. I became a millionaire."
- Heat G Jason Williams on what he cherishes about his days at the University of Florida
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"He's not 20 years old. No way. I'm going to have to see a birth certificate or something."
- Antawn Jamison, on LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers
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"We don't know where the cutoff is, maybe if you earn less than $8 million, you'll get a scholarship from the commissioner."
- David Stern's answer to Marcus Camby's request for a clothing stipend
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"I don't think it's too likely, because I'm not a very good basketball player."
- Mark Pope on his chances of making the Nuggets' roster
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"You want me to take the time to count 'em? No comment."
- Jalen Rose, when asked how many of his Raptors teammates are question marks
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"This is my first summer [with] no trouble. I ain't go to jail for speeding. Didn't go to jail for DUI. I didn't break my foot. I didn't break my other foot. I'm one step ahead of the game already."
- Kwame Brown
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"The one thing I've noticed about our new uniforms is the players aren't complaining too much. If they're happy, we're happy. Even Stephen Jackson looks good."
- Larry Bird on the Pacers' new uniforms
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