SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Thursday, August 14, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quoteunquote.com

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BASEBALL QUOTES
Quotes by Babe Ruth
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I'll promise to go easier on drinking and to get to bed earlier, but not for you, fifty thousand dollars, or two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars will I give up women. They're too much fun.
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I get back to the dugout and they ask me what it was I hit and I tell them I don't know except it looked good.
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As soon as I got out there I felt a strange relationship with the pitcher's mound. It was as if I'd been born out there. Pitching just felt like the most natural thing in the world. Striking out batters was easy.
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I won't be happy until we have every boy in America between the ages of six and sixteen wearing a glove and swinging a bat.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: poemhunter.com

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AMERICAN FOOTBALL QUOTES
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When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.
(Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 6 (1986).)
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Whenever you pray, make sure you do it at school assemblies and football games, like the demonstrative creatures who pray before large television audiences. That is the real goal of the thing. But do not, I urge you, pray all alone in your home where no one can see. That does not get you ratings.
(Garry Wills (b. 1934), U.S. national columnist, author. Baltimore Sun, p. 17 (November 22, 1994).)
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...I'm not money hungry.... People who are rich want to be richer, but what's the difference? You can't take it with you. The toys get different, that's all. The rich guys buy a football team, the poor guys buy a football. It's all relative.
(Martina Navratilova (b. 1956), U.S. tennis player; born in Czechoslovakia. Martina, ch. 44 (1985). She would become the leading money-winning woman tennis player in history.)
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In football they measure forty-yard sprints. Nobody runs forty yards in basketball. Maybe you run the ninety-four feet of the court; then you stop, not on a dime, but on Miss Liberty's torch. In football you run over somebody's face. (Donald Hall (b. 1928), U.S. poet, essayist.)
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Time now to pack this humpty-dumpty
back the frightened way she came
and run along, and run along now,
my stomach laced up like a football for the game.
(Anne Sexton (1928-1974), U.S. poet. "The Operation.")
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Smoking ... is downright dangerous. Most people who smoke will eventually contract a fatal disease and die. But they don't brag about it, do they? Most people who ski, play professional football or drive race cars, will not die—at least not in the act—and yet they are the ones with the glamorous images, the expensive equipment and the mythic proportions. Why this should be I cannot say, unless it is simply that the average American does not know a daredevil when he sees one.
(Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950), U.S. humorist. Social Studies, ch. 18 (1981). Lebowitz, a dedicated cigarette smoker, often wrote satirically about smoking, laws restricting smoking, and "smokers' rights.")
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: askoxford.com

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SPORTS QUOTES
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We all get cut and we all get stitched up. We get stud marks down our bodies, we break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby.
- Martin Johnson, English rugby player
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The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It is nothing of the kind. The game is about glory, it is about doing things in style and with a flourish, about going out and beating the lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom.
- Danny Blanchflower (1926–93) Northern Irish footballer
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What makes a sane and rational person subject himself to such humiliation? Why on earth does anyone want to become a football referee?
- Roy Hattersley, British politician
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The natural state of the football fan is bitter disappointment, no matter what the score.
- Nick Hornby, Author and Arsenal fan
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If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arrangement.
- Alan Bennett, British writer
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Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
-Victoria Wood, British comedian
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He just can't believe what isn't happening to him.
-David Coleman, British sports commentator
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There's been a colour clash: both teams are wearing white.
-John Motson, British football commentator
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Author:Simon Christie
Date: 10/07/2007
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: askoxford.com

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CRICKET QUOTES
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A Quote From ... Archive
Organized Loafing
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'Personally, I have always looked on cricket as organized loafing' said the future Archbishop of Canterbury, William Temple, in 1925;
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nearer our own time, Robin Williams gave the view that 'Cricket is basically baseball on valium'.
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In 1994 Denis Compton commented wryly on Brian Lara's record-breaking score, 'I couldn't bat for the length of time required to score 500. I'd get bored and fall over',
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and the Conservative politician Lord Mancroft might have had something similar in mind when he suggested that cricket was 'a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity'.
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The 19th-century writer Thomas Hughes in Tom Brown's Schooldays said simply, 'It's more than a game. It's an institution',
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but some enthusiasts have been more measured. Max Beerbohm, approached for a contribution to W. G. Grace's testimonial, said warningly, 'It's not in support of cricket but as an earnest protest against golf.'
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Cricket quotations often seem to support the idea of a leisurely thoughtful game, played out (as Orwell said) among 'long shadows on county grounds', but perhaps it should also be remembered that even here practical considerations may arise
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- as in the story that an umpire who had called 'not out' after W. G. Grace was unexpectedly bowled first ball, explained his decision to the bowler with the words 'They have paid to see Dr Grace bat, not to see you bowl'.
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Author: Elizabeth Knowles
Date: 11/07/2001
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: kuklaskorner.com

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HOCKEY QUOTES
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“I think you look tougher, more grizzled, without teeth. My kids tell me the same thing. If they’re not behaving around the house, I’ll take the teeth out and keep `em in line.”
~Minnesota Wild’s Wes Walz doesn’t wear a mouth guard, but finds it helps his parenting skills.
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“Typical N.B.A. punch. In hockey, your own team would beat you up for that.”
~The NBA’s own Steve Nash comments on Carmelo Anthony’s punch in the infamous basketball brawl last week.
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“If they want to see pretty skating, let ‘em go to the Ice Capades.”
~An old quote from former Philadelphia Flyers’ coach Fred Shero, revived this week in this story about the supposed-end of the hockey goon.
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