FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: yourdictionary.com

WASHINGTON REDSKINS CHEERLEADER

Image: i.a.cnn.net

.

FOOTBALL QUOTES

.

All that I know surely about morality and the obligations of man, I owe to football.
—Camus, Albert
.
College football today is one of the last great strongholds of genuine old-fashioned American hypocrisy.
—Gallagher, Noel

.
I prefer players not to be too good or clever at other things. It means they concentrate on football.
—Nicholson, Bill

.
For as concerning football playing, I protest unto you it may be rather called a friendly kind of fight than a play or recreation, a bloody or murmuring practice than a fellowly sport or pastime.
—Stubbes, Philip

.
Football causeth fighting, brawling, contention, quarrel- picking, murder, homicide, and a great effusionof blood, as daily experiences teaches.
—Stubbes, Philip

.
Football is an art more central to our culture than anything the Arts Council deigns to recognize.
—Greer, Germaine

.
They're killing the game with this phoney mystique, telling people that a guy needs the abilities of a brain surgeon to play left-guard for the Colts. Football is simply a game to keep the coalminers off the streets.
—Breslin,Jimmy

.
Agents do nothing for the good of football. I'd like to see them lined up against a wall and machine-gunned, some accountants and solicitors with them.
—Taylor, Graham

.
It was an ideal day for football; too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.
—Smith, Red

.
In football it is widely acknowledged that if both sides agree to cheat, cheating is fair.
—Fry, C(harles) B(urgess)

.
Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.
—Holmes, Oliver Wendell

.
To watch a football game is to be in prolonged neurotic doubt as to what you're seeing. It's more like an emergency happening at a distance than a game.
—Barzun,Jacques

=========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: yourdictionary.com

Image: triumphbooks.com
.
BASEBALL QUOTES
.
The tradition of baseball always has been agreeably free of chivalry. The rule is 'Do anything you can get away with'.
—Broun, (Matthew) Heywood Campbell
.
Baseball is a kind of collective chess with arms and legs in full play under sunlight.
—Barzun, Jacques
.
Baseball is a Lockean game, a kind of contract theory in ritual form, a set of atomic individuals who assent to patterns of limited co-operation in their mutual interest.
—Novak, Michael
=========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: yourdictionary.com

GAME'S OVER!!!

Image: picasaweb.google.com

.

CRICKET QUOTES

.

It is that cricket field that, in all the sharp and bitter moments of life as they come to me now, gives me a sense of wholesome proportion: 'At least I am not playing cricket!'
—Powys,John Cowper

.
Personally, I have always looked upon cricket as organized loafing.
—Temple,William

.
Cricket can be a bridge and a glue? Cricket for peace is my mission.
—Zia Ul-Haq, Mohammed

.
Most games are skin-deep, but cricket goes to the bone.
—Aristotle

.
Cricket is a game of the most terrifying stresses with more luck about it than any other game I know. They call it a team game, but in fact it is the loneliest game of all.
—Aristotle

.
Cricket is a game full of forlorn hopes and sudden dramatic changes of fortune and its rules are so ill- defined that their interpretation is partly an ethical business.
—Orwell, George pseudonym of Eric Arthur Blair

.
Cricket is full of theorists who can ruin your game in no time.
—Botham, IanTerence

.
There is a widely held and quite erroneously held belief that cricket is just another game.
—Edinburgh, Prince Philip, Duke of

.
Cricket is not illegal, for it is a manly game.
—Anne, Queen

.
Cricket is the greatest game that the wit of man has yet devised.
—Warner, Sir Pelham Plum

.
Cricket? It civilises people and creates good gentlemen. I want everyone to play cricket in Zimbabwe. I want ours to be a nation of gentlemen.
—Mugabe, Robert Gabriel

.
J'adore ce cricket; c'est tellement Anglais. I do so love cricket; it's so very English.
—Bernard

.
Where glowing embers through the room Teach light to counterfeit a gloom, Far from all resort of mirth. Save the cricket on the hearth.
—Milton,John

.
Cricket remains for me the game of games, the sanspareil, the great metaphor, the best marriage ever devisedof mind and body? For me it remains theProust of pastimes, the subtlest and most poetic, the most past- and-present; whose beauty can lie equally in days, in a whole, or in one tiny phrase, a blinding split second.
—Fowles,John Robert

.
'Cricket,' said Raffles, 'like everything else, is a good enough sport until you discover a better. As a source of excitement it isn't in it with other things you wot of Bunny, and the involuntary comparison becomes a bore. What's the satisfaction of taking a man's wicket when you want his spoons?'
—Hornung, E(rnest) W(illiam)

.
Yet, when confinement's lingering hour was done, Our sport, our studies, and our souls were one: Together we impell'd the flying ball; Together waited in our tutor's hall; Together join'd in cricket's manly toil.
—Rochdale

.
Sometimes I dream of revolution, a bloody coup d'etat by the second rank of troupes of actors slaughtered by their understudies, magicians sawn in half by indefatigably smiling glamour girls, cricket teams wiped out by marauding bands of twelfth men.
—Stoppard, Sir Tom originally Tom Straussler

.
A cricket tour in Australia would be a most delightful period in one's life if one was deaf.
—Larwood, Harold

.
Cricket to us was more than play, It was a worship in the summer sun.
—Blunden, Edmund Charles

.
Like the British constitution, cricket was not made: it has 'grown'.
—Cardus, Sir Neville

.
Heavenly weather. If life was always like that.Cricket weather. Sit around under sunshades. Over after over. Out. They can't play it here. Still, Captain Buller broke a window in Kildare Street Club with a slog to square leg.
—Joyce, James Augustine Aloysius

.
I hear John Arlott's voice every weekend, describing cricket matches. He sounds like Uncle Tom Cobleigh reading Neville Cardus to the Indians.
—Thomas, Dylan Marlais

.
The elements are cricket's presiding geniuses.
—Cardus, Sir Neville

.
Drinking the best tea in the world in an empty cricket ground; that, I think, is the final pleasure left to man.
—Snow, C(harles) P(ercy), 1st Baron

.
On paper, England are a good cricket team. The trouble is they play on grass.
—Smith, Arthur

.
In affectionate remembrance of English cricket, which died at the Oval on 29th August,1882. Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances. RIP. NB The body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia.
—Anonymous

.
Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game.
—Mikes, George

.
Body-line was not an incident, it was not an accident, it was not a temporary aberration. It was the violence and ferocity of our age expressing itself in cricket.
—James, C(yril) L(ionel) R(obert)

.
It is far more than a game, this cricket.
—Cardus, Sir Neville

.
Golf is to Fiji what cricket is to America.
—Singh,Vijay

.
Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. It combines the best features of that primitive form of cricket known as Tip-and-Run with those of lawn tennis, Puss-in-the-corner and Handel's Messiah.
—Shaw, George Bernard

.
If Stalin had learned to play cricket, the world might now be a better place.
—Downey, Dr Richard

.
Oh God, if there be cricket in heaven, let there also be rain.
—Douglas-Home, Baron

.
I never was a boy, never played at cricket; it is better to let Nature take her course.
—Mill,John Stuart

.
I want to retire at 50. I want to play cricket in the summer and geriatric football in the winter, and sing in the choir.
—Kinnock, Neil Gordon

.
To think of playing cricket for hard cash! Money and gentility would ruin any pastime under the sun.
—Mitford, Mary Russell

.
It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you realise that your wife left you in May.
—Norden, Denis

.
For a long time we dreamed of a real leather ball, and at last my brother had one for his birthday. The feel of the leather, the stitching round it, the faint gold letters stamped upon it, the touch of the seam, the smell of it, all affected me so deeply that I still have that ache of beauty when I hold a cricket ball.
—Uttley, Alison

=========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: yourdictionary.com

Image: instantanatomy.net
.
SPORTS QUOTES
.
It is an axiom of sports that the legs go first. For sportswriters, it's the enthusiasm.
—Frayne,Trent
.
Hail Cricket! glorious, manly, British game! First of all Sports! be first alike in fame!
—Love,James pseudonym of James Dance
.
I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.
—Mencken, H(enry) L(ouis)
.
What man that sees the ever-whirling wheel Of Change, the which all mortal things doth sway, But that thereby doth find, and plainly feel, How mutability in them doth play Her cruel sports, to many men's decay?
—Spenser, Edmund
.
Organised outdoor sports for the old ruling classes.
—Hobson,John Atkinson
.
Praise the sports of the land And water, each one; The bath by the beach, or the yacht on the sea. But of all the sweet pleasures Known under the sun; A good game of Croquet's the sweetest to me.
—Reid,Thomas Mayne
.
Pleasures of worse natures Are gladly entertained, and they that shun us Practice in private sports the stews would blush at.
—Massinger, Philip
.
He brought an eye for all he saw; He mixed in all our simple sports; They pleased him, fresh from brawling courts And dusty purlieus of the law.
—Tennyson
.
If this can be termed the century of the common man, then soccer, of all sports, is surely his game? In a world haunted by the hydrogenand napalm bomb, the football field is a place where sanity and hope are still left unmolested.
—Rous, Sir Stanley
.
All winter long,
I am one for whom the bell is tolling;
I can arouse no interest in basketball,
Indoor fly casting or bowling;
The sports pages are strictly no soap!
And until the cry Play Ball! I simply mope.
—Nash, (Frederic) Ogden
.
It is statute and ordained that in na place of the Realme there be used Fute-ball, Golfe, or uther sik unproffitable sportes.
—James IV
=========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: forumpolitics.com

Image: strangesports.com
.
BASEBALL QUOTES
Quotes by Barry Bonds
.
Posted in funny quotes, athletes by Administrator on the July 16th, 2007
.
“I don’t have to [use steroids]. I mean, I’m a good enough ballplayer as it is. I don’t need to be any better. I can’t get any better at this age.”
.
“A lot of people are a lot different at work than they are at home.”
.
“I never asked. When he said it was flaxseed oil, I just said, ‘Whatever.’ It was in the ballpark … in front of everybody. I mean, all the reporters, my teammates, I mean they all saw it. I didn’t hide it.”
.
“And all it takes is to shun one reporter because maybe you have to go home or have some other responsibility or whatever. That can spark a fire throughout the rest of the season.”
.
“All you guys lied! All of y’all and the story have lied. Should you have asterisks behind your name? All of you lied. All of you have said something wrong. All of you have dirt. When your closet’s clean, then come clean somebody else’s … What did I do? What did I do? What are you going to apologize for when you’re wrong? This is old stuff. I mean, it’s like watching Sanford and Son. It’s just rerun after rerun after rerun. It’s almost comical, basically. We’ve got alcohol that’s the No. 1 killer in America, and we legalize that. You’ve got tobacco, No. 2 or 3 killer in America. We legalize that. There’s other issues. It’s become Hard Copy all day long. Are you guys jealous? Are you upset? Disappointed? What? … I don’t know if steroids are going to help you in baseball. I just don’t believe it.”
.
“Back when I first started Nolan Ryan was still a dominating pitcher - even though he was at the end of his career. The best thing I ever did was strike out three times against him in Spring Training, because I wanted to be in there so badly.”
.
“Baseball is just my job.”
.
“I don’t know if the record is going to happen. I don’t really think about the record. There are other things I worry about.”
.
“The fact that someone should write in the newspaper is, I’ve never failed a drug test.”
.
“You’re talking about something that wasn’t even illegal at the time. All this stuff about supplements, protein shakes, whatever. Man, it’s not like this is the Olympics.”
.
“I have a chef who makes sure that I’m getting the right amounts of carbs, proteins and fats throughout the day to keep me at my max performance level.”
.
“I liked baseball, but my idols were Willie Mays and a lot of the other ballplayers.”
.
“I love San Francisco and I love you fans. My family knows, God knows, I’m proud to wear this uniform.”
.
“I need to win, man. I’ve had numbers, but I’ve never won a World Series.”
.
“I never stop looking for things to try and make myself better.”
.
“There is nothing better than walking out and hitting a home run.”
==========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

Image: masks-wigs-and-costumes.com
.
SPORTS QUOTES
Includes quotes from Summer Olympics, 2008
.
Sport quotes of the week
By Caroline Cheese
.
"It will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that doesn't come along that often."
~Steve McClaren gets a bit over-excited after his FC Twente side draw Arsenal in the Champions League.
.
"Naturally we're all absolutely delighted that Gareth Barry will be staying at Villa Park."
~Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill on 31 July.
.
"There will be no deadline and Liverpool will have all the time in the world to sign him. They've got to the end of the transfer window at the end of the month."
~O'Neill three days later, the Villa manager apparently forgetting what a deadline is.
.
"Basically, Stoke wasted the lad's time. They made him an offer, he asked for a bit more and they said 'That's it'. They disrespected him and I'm not happy with it. It was disgraceful. Will I speak to Tony Pulis? No. But football's a small world and what goes around comes around."
~Brave Stoke boss Tony Pulis incurred the wrath of Sunderland's Roy Keane after Martin Fulop's transfer fell through.
.
"He won't be coming to the club, we wish him well. Younes has decided to go elsewhere. It might help if I took him to a casino until 4am. Maybe that might have helped the deal. I haven't been up until 4am for a long time. I'd have been asleep."
~Keane has his own theory on why he failed to capture Younes Kaboul from Spurs.
.
"I was bitten by a spider three weeks ago and ended up being rushed into emergency. I kept thinking I was cursed, that somebody somewhere had a little doll of me and was sticking pins in it."
~Paula Radcliffe, already recovering from a stress fracture, thinks someone might be out to get her.
.
"I'm not much of an athlete, I eat a lot of McDonalds. I'm probably overweight for an athlete."
~At 97kgs (15 stone 3 pounds), Canadian archer Jay Lyon admits he's not your typical athlete.
.
"The humidity's quite fun. It's like rowing through a steam bath."
Britain's Olivia Whitlam looks on the bright side in Beijing.
.
"Gymnastics is very difficult. If someone slips a little, they are out. Boxing and football are easier."
~Egyptian gymnastics coach Nasir Al Harazi dismisses suggestions his sport might be a bit girly.
.
"I'll have to settle down because I can't shark forever."
~British sailor Iain Percy is on the prowl in Beijing.
.
"It is a fairytale to captain your country but it hasn't had a fairytale ending."
~A tearful Michael Vaughan ends his reign as England skipper.
.
"I don't care."
~Roger Federer on the prospect of losing his world number one status after a record four-and-a-half years.
.
"There is no time to be excited and be happy and enjoy. I have Olympics in one week. I have to be very focused all the time."
~Rafael Nadal has got far too much on his plate to celebrate being crowned the world's best player.
.
AND SOME FROM YOU
.
"I believe it's a big step and a step in the right direction."
~Chris Eagles on moving from Manchester United to Burnley.
(Kenny, England).
.
"He's tighter than the elephant man's hatband today."
~BBC text commentator Ben Dirs on South Africa all-rounder Jacques Kallis. (Bhav Trivedi, UK).
.
"He has the hand-eye coordination of a hungry rattlesnake."
~Sid Waddell at the World Matchplay darts.
(Steve Hayman, England).
.
STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENTS OF THE WEEK
.
"Please can I just remind you to keep off the playing area or you will be taken away and ejected from the ground just like that chav in the white T-shirt."
~The announcer at Twenty20 finals day.
(Simon Davison, UK).
.
"Coming on for Ajax is number 26...ummm... there isn't a number 26?!"
~Stadium announcer at Cardiff City's match with Ajax.
(Ryan Davies, Cardiff).
================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

SPORTS QUOTES
.
1. The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
Abe Lemons, basketball coach
.
2. Amateurs compete to win over their competitors.
Pros compete to win over themselves.
Gerhard Gschwandtner
.
3. A gambler's biggest thrill is winning a bet.
His next biggest thrill is losing a bet.
Anonymous
.
4. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls.
They always say because it's such a beautiful animal.
There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I
have photographs of her.
Ellen DeGeneres

Sources:
-
1 & 2: view.atdmt.com
.
3: pithypedia.com
.
4: thinkexist.com

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: halife.com

BASEBALL POEM
.
Baseball
.
Baseball may be the nation's game;
With throw and run and hit;
But first among the skills, it seems,
Is learning how to spit.
.
Art Buck
=======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: worldofquotes.com

Image: img.thesun.co.uk
.
BOXING QUOTES
Quotes by Muhammad Ali
.
I say get an education. Become an electrician, a mechanic, a doctor, a lawyer — anything but a fighter. In this trade, it's the managers that make the money and last the longest.
.
I'm a baaaadd man!!
.
To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.
.
If my fans think I can do everything I say I can do, then they're crazier than I am. After one of his fight predictions turned out to be wrong.
.
I'm gonna have to be killed before I lose, and I ain't going to die easy.
.
Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even
.
Superman don't need no seat belt. [Comment to flight attendant, who replied, 'Superman don't need no airplane, either.']
========================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cs.tennisweek.com

Image: vitamindeedesigns.com
.
TENNIS QUOTES
Overheard at the Summer Olympics, 2008
.
Olympics: Tennis stars fume over heat, pollution
Agence France-Presse
08/06/2008
.
BEIJING -- Soaring heat and humidity and choking pollution have hit the build-up to the Olympic tennis tournament with top stars lining up to complain.
.
With big-name players sweating through practices in sauna conditions, the temperature and overhanging smog have been the main talking points at the open-air Olympic Green Tennis Center.
.
Incoming world number one Rafael Nadal, dripping with sweat during a practice match with Fernando Gonzalez, accidentally broke a racquet when it slipped out of his hand on serve.
.
Women's number two Ana Ivanovic appeared exhausted during a work-out on Wednesday, doubling up on court to catch her breath.
.
And players beaded with perspiration have been toweling off and drinking gallons of liquid as they go through their routines in the oppressive heat.
.
Gonzalez, who is bidding to defend his doubles title with Nicolas Massu, admitted conditions were extremely difficult with temperatures of up to 34 deg C (93 deg F) and unpalatable smog.
.
"The conditions are really tough with the pollution and it's really hot. We don't have too many days to adapt so I hope to be much better than today," he said.
.
Slovakian beauty Daniela Hantuchova said she had never experienced such heat.
"It's tough. It's maybe the hottest weather I've experienced," she said. "Hopefully it can cool down."
.
Meanwhile, Australia's Samantha Stosur said conditions were "pretty rough" and among the most difficult all season.
"It is very hot and very humid and the sun isn't even out yet so I'm sure it will probably only get worse from here," Stosur said.
"It is unpredictable and probably the hottest conditions we are going to play in all year."
.
The heat and humidity of a Beijing summer, along with chronic pollution, have been major concerns for participants in the Beijing Games, which open on Friday.
.
Many athletes arriving in the Chinese capital have expressed concern about air quality, including four members of the US cycling team who wore masks as they emerged from the city's airport.
.
On Wednesday, much of the Games complex was just a blur from Olympic Green, just over two kilometers (a mile and a half) away.
.
According to Australia's Alicia Molik, heat and pollution were all part and parcel of playing in China.
"I've been in China seven or eight times. I'm very used to playing in the heat and experiencing the thick air," she said.
"Tennis players are used to experiencing so many things. It's just something that you have to get on board with and work around.
.
Former world number one Lleyton Hewitt admitted high temperatures and humidity could be a problem but insisted he enjoyed playing in hot weather.
"I had a hit out there today. The smog didn't worry me. I think the heat and humidity will cause more of a problem but I like to play in these conditions," Hewitt said.
.
And Tommy Robredo hoped the heat would give Spanish players an edge.
"We already just came from Cincinnati, but here it's really hot. It's really humid," Robredo said.
"Because the weather in Spain is so hot I think the Spanish players will be in better condition physically and that will be an advantage."
========================