SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: imdb.com

Image: femalefirst.co.uk
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SOCCER QUOTES
Quotes from the soccer movie Goal!
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Plot summary forGoal! (2005)
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Like millions of kids around the world, Santiago harbors the dream of being a professional footballer. However, living in the Barrios section of Los Angeles, he thinks it is only that--a dream. Until one day an extraordinary turn of events has him trying out for Premiership club Newcastle United.
Written by kpugs
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Movie trailer:
Click here to view ===> GOAL! MOVIE TRAILER
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Movie quotes:
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Santiago Munez: [a bunch of the guys are going into a bar] Do I need an ID or anything?
Jamie Drew: ID... Identification?
Santiago Munez: Yeh... I mean, how old do you have to be to get a drink here?
Jamie Drew: ...er eleven.
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Barry Rankin: [Talking to someone on the phone] What's cool and hangs up? [And then hangs up]
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Santiago Munez: I don't know where home is.
Roz Harmison: Yeah ya do. It's green an' it's got a goal post at each end.
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Newcastle fan #1: Hows it going?
Newcastle fan #2: We've made all the early running.
Newcastle fan #1: How long's it been on?
Newcastle fan #2: A minute!
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Santiago Munez: The only one who can tell me I'm not good enough is you. And even then I may not agree with you.
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Glen Foy: Welcome to the toon.
Santiago Munez: What's the toon?
Glen Foy: It's where the Geordies live.
Santiago Munez: What's a Geordie?
Glen Foy: Someone who lives in the toon.
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Erik Dornhelm: Here we pass the ball, you understand that? We're a unit, not a one-man show. The name on the front of the shirt is more important than the one on the back.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: whoateallthepies.tv

SOCCER \ ENGLISH FOOTBALL CHANTS
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Pies' top 50 favourite football chants, part 1
By Ollie Irishon October 12, 2007
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'In the town, called Sunderland,There lived a man with a monkey's heid, And they called him Peter Reid'
Geordies and Boro lads alike would taunt Mackems with this pearl. It's funny because it's true – former Sunderland boss Peter Reid does indeed have a monkey's head. Or is there a monkey out there with the head of Peter Reid. I'm not sure.
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'Ooh aah Cantona, say ooh ahh Cantona!'
Brilliantly simple and effective. Started by Leeds fans, nicked by Man U fans when King Eric crossed the Pennines. Then fans started singing 'Ou est Cantona?' to the bereft Leeds faithful.
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'We all dream of a team of Carraghers, a team of Carraghers…'
Sung by Liverpool fans, with some affection, to the tune of The Beatles' 'Yellow Submarine'.
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'When the ball hits your head and you sit in row Z, thats Zamora.'
Sung about aimless Bobby Zamora to the tune of 'That's Amore'. Lyrical genius.
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'He's blond, he's quick His name's a porno flick, Emmanuel! Emanuel!'
Frequently sung in honour of Manu Petit when he was at Highbury.
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'You dirty northern bastards!'
A versatile chant, most often used by southern shandy-drinking types to wind up their northern cousins. Can also be used ironically - Plymouth Argyle fans sing it to anyone.
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'We've got Timmy Tourettes in our nets, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!'
Proud Man U fans ignore political correctness to greet the signing of Tim Howard.
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'Sit down Pinocchio!'
Shouted at large-nosed Scouser Phil Thompson. More recently it has also been aimed in the direction of Gareth Southgate.
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'Who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies? You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pies!'
Well, it had to be in here somewhere. A timeless classic. More often abbreviated today to simply 'You fat bastard!'
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'Park Park, wherever you may be You eat dogs in your home country It could be worse, you could be Scouse Eating rats in your council house'
More black humour, again from those witty Man U fans. Korea's Park Ji Sung must feel honoured.
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'You've got Di Canio, we've got your stereo…'
Check out Liverpool fans being all post-modern and deconstructing their own stereotype. Sung at West Ham fans, who would often boast 'We've got Di Canio!'
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'Does she take it up the arse?'
A question frequently put to David Beckham, especially when he was taking a corner in front of opposition fans. And to this day, we don't know if Victoria does take it up the arse.
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'Ten men went to lift, went to lift Frank Lampard, ten men and their forklift truck went to lift Frank Lampard'
A cunning variation on 'Ten men went to mow', aimed at Fat Frank by opposition fans.
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'The wheels on your house go round and round, round and round'
This always makes me smile. Directed at players who are perceived as, er, gypsyish or pikey.
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'Your sister is your mother, your uncle is your brother You all fuck one another, the ________ family'
Sung to the theme tune of The Addams Family. A particular favourite of Ipswich and Norwich fans, who shout it at each other.
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'We're gonna deep-fry your pizzas!'
A one-off moment of inspiration from Scotland fans, who threatened Italian fans with a culinary fate worse than death.
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'Woooah, Al-Fayed… he wants to be a Brit, and QPR are shit'
Bit of a non-sequitur from Fulham supporters, but it makes me smile.
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'Neville Neville, your play is immenseNeville Neville, you play in defenceNeville Neville, like Jacko you're bad,Neville Neville, the name of your dad'
Sung to the tune of David Bowie's Rebel Rebel, to honour Gary and Phil Neville. Much better lyrics than the original, I'm sure you agree.
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'His name is Rio and he watches from the stand'
Rio Ferdinand had to put up with this when he was banned for missing a drugs test. A nice twist on 'His name is Rio and he dances for West Ham', which Irons fans used to sing, to the tune of Duran Duran's 'Rio', predictably enough.
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'Don't blame it on the Biscan Don't blame it on the Hamman Don't blame it on the Finnan Blame it on Traore…He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet'
Pure genius to honour the hapless Djimi Traore during his time at Liverpool. Sung to the tune of 'Blame it on the Boogie'.
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'You are my Solskjaer, my Ole SolskjaerYou make my happy, when skies are grey'
The Baby Faced Assassin made Man U fans happy. Simple as that.

'Sign on, sign on,With a pen in your hand, 'Cause you'll never get a job'
A classic, which I'm sure Liverpool fans never tire of hearing.
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'Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams!'
Again, political correctness went out of the window when it was reported that larger-than-life keeper Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Fans can be so cruel… we can?
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'Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best They go up from his arse to his chest
They are better than Adam and the Ants Niall Quinn's disco pants'
The most famous pants in football.
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'He's big, he's red His feet stick out the bed Peter Crouch, Peter Crouch'
At 6ft7 his feet probably do stick out the bed. More wit from the Kop End.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: fbva-west.org

BASKETBALL QUOTES
Basketball coaches and other leaders offer motivational counseling to others
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"You are what you repeatedly do, therefore excellence is not by chance, but by habit."
-- Aristotle
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The more your players have to think on the basketball court, the slower their feet get."
-- Jerry Tarkanian (1990 UNLV team won the NCAA championship
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"Offense at Indiana is not equal opportunity. Those players who shoot best are going to shoot most. It is important that every player know his offensive limitations. It is also important that a player know who the best shooter is on the team. When a passer has the option of passing to two players, I expect him to get the ball to the best shooter. I continually stop practice and ask players who the best shooter is and I expect them to know. It is important that you get the ball to your best shooter."
-- Bob Knight
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Click here to view ===> BASKETBALL QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sports.yahoo.com

Image: 1.bp.blogspot.com
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BASKETBALL HUMOR \ TRIVIA
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The Ten Commandments of Basketball Trades
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Click here to view ===> TEN COMMANDMENTS
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