SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: allsportlive.com

Jelena Jankovic's funny quotes
 
 

Jelena Jankovic s funny quotes

Jelena Jankovic is a player whose statements very often make me laugh or sometimes confuse me. Many times I just thought why hadn't she kept her mouth shut, but after all, I'm used to Jelena's personality and I will always like and understand her.

Since her statements are at the moment most inspiring of all the other WTA players, I have been collecting them for a few months from a variety of sources, and decided to publish them today. I've been reading many articles and interviews every day, and whenever I found some funny quote of J.J., I took note of it. So, here's my modest collection:

After losing to Ana Ivanovic at this year's East West Bank Classic Jankovic said: "I felt like I was playing against a guy, the way her serves were coming at me. It's sometimes scary, and when she starts to scream, I'm like, Come on. She's quite a powerful, big girl."

The next two quotes are from an interview for the New York Times: IF YOU COULD HAVE A SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? "To be able to turn invisible. Wouldn't that be cool? Just think of all the places I could go unnoticed."

FUNNIEST OR MOST EMBARRASSING THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU ON THE COURT "Some of the angles that photographers get on court are not always flattering." Hehe, I've always wondered how players handle such images of themselves.

At the US Open 2007, after waiting for eight hours to begin her match against Sybille Bammer, Jakovic said: "Being here all day, I was quite exhausted - I had to drink coffee before the match to stay awake."

Jelena on the group of her supporters, sometimes called The J.J. Block, after her loss to Venus Williams in US Open quarterfinals: DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A PLAYER WHO THRIVES ON SUPPORTERS? "I love when I have a lot of supporters. They were asking, What am I talking to the crowd? They go like, Jelena, we love your smile. I'm like, But, yeah, it doesn't help me return her serve (laughter). It's always funny. It's quite entertaining."

Haha, I especially like this one. Jelena talks about her turn of luck in 2007: "Since then I started to get better and better, and who knows, but if I didn't make it to the quarterfinals, if I didn't win a few matches in Rome, maybe I wouldn't be here right now, maybe I would be, you know, who knows, in my university, with thousands of books, reading, becoming a genius (laugh)."

After losing to Lindsay Davenport in Bali, Jankovic said: "I didn't train much and it's tough to get motivated here. But it's OK, now I can finally go to the beach."

And last but not least funny Jankovic's quote: "I didn't want to play but my mother forced me."




FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: funny-stories.org

Top 6 Popular Athletes According to Google

Tiger Woods

10 400 000 web results according to Google.com
754 000 image results according to Google.com
Salary: $100 million (2006)
Golf
Age: 31
Country Of Birth: United States
Country Of Residence: United States
Tiger Woods is the most popular athlete according Google.com web results because of his illustrious professional golfing career, Nike clothing and apparel, endorsement deals and many other factors.
Tiger Woods whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time. Currently the World No. 1, Woods was the highest paid professional athlete in 2006, having earned an estimated $100 million from winnings and endorsements

David Beckham

3 020 000 web results according to Google.com
595 000 image results according to Google.com
Salary: $32.5 mil (2007)
Soccer - Midfield, LA Galaxy
Age: 31
Country Of Birth: Great Britain
Country Of Residence: United States
Galaxy is paying Beckham $32.5 million over five years. He is expected to make about $200 million more in endorsements and merchandise fees.

Maria Sharapova

2 440 000web results according to Google.com
125 000 image results according to Google.com
Salary: $25 million (2006)
Tennis
Age: 20
Country Of Birth: Russia
Country Of Residence: United States
As of 10 September 2007, she is the fourth-ranked female player in the world. At the end of 2006, she was the world's highest-paid female athlete.
In 2006 Sharapova signed a lifetime endorsment deal with Prince Sports, Inc., a longtime sponsor of Sharapova. She currently plays with the O3 White racquet.

OJ Simpson

2 410 000 web results according to Google.com
81 400 image results according to Google.com
Football - Running back, retired
Age: 60
Country Of Birth: United States
Country Of Residence: United States
Well OJ Simpson's high amount of web results is due to a combination of his NFL career, his murder acquittal and his latest legal troubles.

Anna Kournikova

2 260 000 web results according to Google.com
46 800 image results according to Google.com
Salary: $12 million (2006)
Tennis - Tennis Player, retired
Age: 26
Country Of Birth: Russia
Country Of Residence: United States
Anna Kournikova is a retired Russian professional tennis player and model. Although she never won a singles tournament, she became one of the best known tennis players worldwide. At the peak of her fame, fans looking for images of Kournikova made her name (or misspellings of it) one of the most common search strings on Google.

Michael Jordan

2,210,000 web results according to Google.com
286 000 image results according to Google.com
Salary: $32 million (2006)
Basketball - Shooting Guard, retired
Age: 44
Country Of Birth: United States
Country Of Residence: United States
MJ's endorsements have been pared down to a handful, including Gatorade, Sara Lee and Upper Deck. The bulk of his income, though, still comes from the Swoosh. Nike's Jordan brand is a $500 million business (sales) and finished the year with record profits and sales.
Jordan's individual accolades and accomplishments include five NBA MVP (Most Valuable Player) awards, ten All-NBA First Team designations, nine All-Defensive First Team honors, fourteen NBA All-Star Game appearances and three All-Star MVPs, ten scoring titles, three steals titles, six NBA Finals MVP awards, and the 1988 NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award




FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: baseballbigmouth.com

 

Our first one, from the venerable Pedro Martinez, trying to come back strong to the Mets' rotation this year, opining as to what lengths he will go to help the club: "I'll do anything if I think it helps the team. I'll do naked jumping jacks, whatever." 

Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland COPYRIGHT The Heckler and BaseballBigMouth.com ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland (pictured, right) on what a fan who won a charity auction to recently co-manage a spring game alongside him had to do to authentically ape all aspects of the crusty Motown skipper. "He'll be smoking by the third inning. You want to be the real Jim Leyland, you'd better bring a carton of Marlboros."

The now-infamous and always classy — ahem — Barry Bonds, from official testimony to a Grand Jury, on why he was not, contrary to some reports,  planning to build a home for close associate (and alleged connection) trainer Greg Anderson: "One, I'm black. And I'm keeping my money. And there's not too many rich black people in this world. And I'm keeping my money. There's more wealthy Asian people and Caucasian and white. There ain't that many rich black people. And I ain't giving my money up. That's why."

SI.com's Tom Verducci perfectly crystalizing the Brandon Inge fiasco currently overshadowing the Tigers' camp: "The only reason the Tigers could conceivably want Inge around is to replace Ivan Rodriguez when his contract expires after this season. But Inge blew a hole in that idea by suggesting he didn't really want to catch and saying he has trouble hitting when he has to concentrate on catching (not that his .236 average as a third baseman last season was anything great)."

Yankees VP Hank "I wanna REALLY try hard to be as controversial as my more-famous Daddy George" Steinbrenner, seeing the world of baseball through his East Coast-tinted glasses and dreaming of restoring the fast-fading franchise: "Go anywhere in America, and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order."

And finally, a quote that really needs no explanation as to its inclusion. The Heckler presents the Diamondbacks' Eric Byrnes, on what he would endure to see the game of baseball cleaned up from its current steroid/HGH smudge: "I'd prefer not to have a grown man standing there looking at my pickle, but if they have to do it for the sake of the game, I'm in."

 
 



FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: divinecaroline.com

If Chicks Ran the NFL

The leagues continue to seek to increase their female fan base. Teams don't have "No Women Allowed" signs hanging outside their stadium door but, once a woman becomes a fan what benefits does she enjoy? The NFL proudly proclaims that football is the most beloved sport of women. But, what is the NFL doing to increase female attendance? Aside from largely unheralded and under promoted NFL 101 sessions, the NFL has done very little to attract, nurture and promote itself to its female fans. Now FemmeFan exposes the little known desires of the NFL's female fans.

Listen up guys. If Chicks ran the NFL, we would have:

  • Chippendale Dancers as cheerleaders and half-time entertainment. Enough already with those Barbie dolls gyrating in their scanty outfits. We could all do without those silly dogs chasing Frisbees all over the field. Give us some buffed guys in shorts and tank tops dancing to Macho Man!
  • Serve us blended Margaritas featuring the flavor of the day. They'll help us swallow those shingles with Cheez-Whiz they call Nachos.
  • Wine, because beer makes us "go" way too often, and puts on the pounds. The wine has to be the good stuff not Wyoming Valley vintage 2000 with twist off caps.
  • If we're drinking the brew we need to get up and go. Give us lots and lots of toilets that smell good! Toss a few Stick-Ups in there and use Charmin' instead of sandpaper-army-issue toilet paper.
  • Baby-sitting services at every stadium in the USA where you can drop off the rug-rats while you sit back and enjoy the game.
  • We want tours of the locker rooms. The tours would be conducted right after the game and while the players were freshly showered and still drying off.
  • An e-lounge where you can stay wired into every electronic gadget in your life during the game.
  • Team Apparel that fits us and isn't made for men who are 6'2" and weigh in at 330 pounds.
  • Ladies' Day at least once a year in every stadium for every sport.