SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Sunday, September 26, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportingnews.com


BRAIN ANATOMY 101

Image: media-2.web.britannica.com
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SPORTS TRIVIA \ QUOTES
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The Sporting News selects the 20 smartest athletes in sports.
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Click here to view ===> 20 SMARTEST ATHLETES IN SPORTS
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportspickle.com

SPORTS HUMOR
Web site selects its choices for the 25 all-time best nicknames in sports
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Click here to view ===> 25 BEST NICKNAMES IN SPORTS
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message


Image: teesforall.com
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SPORTS HUMOR
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Part I:
Blogger presents his choices of the 10 best jokes about Tiger Woods'
extramarital affairs.
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Click here to view ===> THE TIGER WOODS SAGA
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Source: examiner.com
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Part II:
Website presents Ceorge Carlin's take on a variety of sports.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.
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Boxing is not a sport. Boxing is a way to beat the shit out of somebody. In that respect, boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey. But beating the shit out of somebody isn't a sport, in spite of what the police think. When police brutality becomes an Olympic event, fine, then boxing can become a sport.
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Don't you find it funny that all these tough-guy boxers are fighting over a purse?
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How come none of these boxers seem to have a losing record?
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Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it! Took me a long time to come up with that one, but by God, I thought of one.
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Hockey is not a sport. Hockey is three activities going on at the same time: ice skating, playing with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody.
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It's never just a game when you're winning.
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Running isn't a sport 'cause everybody can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run … you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?
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Source: en.wikiquote.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message


DEBBI FIELDS
FOUNDER, MRS. FIELDS COOKIES
Image: dlisted.com
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BASEBALL QUOTES
Web site presents quotes by and about former baseball team owner Charlie Finley
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Click here to view ===> BASEBALL QUOTES
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Source: espn.go.com
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Bonus: Baseball-related trivia about former baseball team owner
Charlie Finley.
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Memorable Charlie Finley baseball experiments:

-- He named a mule Charlie O. and made it the Kansas City A's mascot.

-- Had baseballs delivered to the umpire behind home plate by a mechanical rabbit that popped out of the ground.

-- Had cookies delivered to umpires during games. The cookies were made by A's employee Debbie Fields, who turned the chocolate-chip recipe into the "Mrs. Fields" empire.

-- Hired as a bat boy Stanley Burrell, who became rap star M.C. Hammer.

-- Finley advocated orange baseballs, which were tried briefly in exhibitions. Tried to speed up games by reducing walks to three balls.

-- He paid $300 to each player who agreed to wear a mustache. His A's were first team to wear white shoes.

-- Two of his ideas became standards of the game - the designated hitter and night World Series games.
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Source: freelibrary.com
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Bonus: Video of M. C. Hammer (Ex-bat boy for the A's baseball team)
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Youngsters (50 years old and younger), put on your dancing shoes!
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Seniors (Older than 50), stand fast!!!
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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"
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Click here to view ===> M C HAMMER MUSIC VIDEO
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Source: youtube.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: thefastertimes.com


SURFING MODEL: BETHANY HAMILTON
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Image: nationalgeographic.com
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SURFING HUMOR
Blogger presents his 100 reasons for choosing surfing as his favorite sport.
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Editor's note:
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Many of the 100 reasons may be familiar only to other surfers, so,
keep that in mind while you view the blogger's list.
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Click here to view ===> SURFING HUMOR
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BONUS SURFER-RELATED VIDEO:
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Youngsters (blog readers 50 years old and younger). put on your dancing shoes!
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Seniors (readers older than 50), stand fast!!!
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Dancers, get ready to dance along with the Family Guy and his
cartoon friends as they dance to a surfer novelty song from the
1960's by The Trashmen.
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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"
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Source: youtube.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: imdb.com

Image: moviecritic.com.au
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CRICKET QUOTES
Web site presents cricket quotes in a cricket sports movie released in 2001
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Plot summary for the movie Lagaan (2001):
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This is the story about the resilience shown by the Indians when they were under the British Rule.
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They are already taxed to the bone by the British and their cronies, but when Jack Russell announces that he will double the Lagaan (tax) from all villagers, they decide to oppose it.
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Leading the villagers is a handsome young man named Bhuvan, who challenges them to a game of cricket, a game that is to be played by veteran British cricket players, versus villagers, including Bhuvan himself, who have never played this game before, and do not even know a bat from a piece of wood.
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As the challenge is accepted, the interest grows and attracts Indians from all over the region, as well as the British from all over the country - as everyone gathers to see the 'fair play' that the British will display against their counter-parts, who are aided by none other than the sister, Elizabeth, of Captain Rusell.
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Written by Sumitra (corrected by Sonia)
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Trailer for the movie Lagaan (2001):
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Click here to view ===> LAGAAN MOVIE TRAILER
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Selected quotes from the movie Lagaan (2001):
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Lakha: See how badly hurt I am?
Gauri: Hurt? It's my father you need. Not me.
Father? Lakha has cut his hand.
Ishwar: He seems to cut his hand more than he cuts wood.
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Click here to view ===> LAGAAN MOVIE QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: pakpassion.net


Image: caricaturelondon.files.wordpress.com
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CRICKET QUOTES
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"The hallmark of a great captain is the ability to win the toss at the right time"
- Richie Benaud
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"That slow-motion replay doesn't show how fast the ball was travelling"
- Richie Benaud
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"How can you tell your wife you are just popping out to play a match and then not come back for five days?"
- Rafa Benitez struggling to come to terms with Test cricket
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Click here to view ===> CRICKET QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: wrestling-edge.com


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WRESTLING QUOTES
Blogger presents his favorite wrestling quotes
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I’ll kick your teeth so far down your throat you can chew your own ass up for pissing me off.
The Undertaker
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I can’t jump high so I jump from high places
Mick Foley
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So you like picking on women, huh? So why don’t you pick on me?
Kevin Nash (evidently confused about his gender) to Test
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Heenan: That’s my second favourite song.
Monsoon: I’m almost afraid to ask. Whats your favourite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.
Bobby Heenan commenting on Hulk Hogan’s entrance music
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I would rather hurt a man than love a woman
Mick Foley (as Cactus jack)
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Hardy Boys, Boyz with a ‘Z’. Is that Z supposed to scare us or something?
Christian
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What are you talking about you frosty haired reekazoid?
Christian to Michael Cole
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As times goes by, as times goes by, they say “he’s washed up”, “he’s finished”, “he’s a loser”, “he’s all through”. You know what? The only one that’s going to tell me when I’m through doing my thing is you people here.
Mickey Rourke as “The Ram” in the movie The Wrestler
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God, this is Billy. I just won the King of the Ring, but everyone still hates me because I absolutely suck!
The Rock
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I became the first ever Euro-continental champion in WWF history. Well, besides D-Lo Brown, but he doesn’t count.
Kurt Angle
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Undertaker, if that is your real name…
Kurt Angle
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I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I’m embarrassed to say it now but I used to make fun of him for watching it.
Torrie Wilson
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Wrestling is ballet with violence.
Jesse Ventura
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The only reason you were WWE Champion for almost a year was because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays.
Paul Heyman to JBL
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I have balls the size of grapefruits, and come this Sunday you’ll be spitting out the seeds!
Vince McMahon
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The frequencies in my head are not known to normals…
Ultimate Warrior, hitting the nail on the head
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Girls, you can’t be the first, but you can be next.
Ric Flair
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That’ll make your back crack, your liver quiver and your knees freeze.
Dusty Rhodes
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You’ve got a lot of class, and it’s all low.
The Rock
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Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.
Roddy Piper

This is what we thought was John’s room but there was wrestling boots and since John can’t wrestle I wasn’t sure.
Edge (at John Cena’s home)
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I have resolved to wake up an hour earlier each day so I can hate you just a little bit longer.
William Regal
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