FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: skiracing.com

SKIING QUOTES
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To view the PDF file, Compendium of Quotes for Bode Miller,
click here ---> BODE
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: query.nytimes.com

 Friday, February 29, 2008

Sports

RODEO; Rodeo's Breakthrough Star Retires at 32

By LYNN ZINSER

Published: May 15, 2002

In this golden age of sports on television, rodeo has, if anything, become even more obscure, falling behind as newer entries like skateboading elbow their way into the lineup. It is an impossible sport to follow, even for the determined. There are 700 rodeos a year, in every nook and cranny of the country. About 1,200 cowboys compete in them.

To the general population, only one name in the sport ever broke through the obscurity: Ty Murray.

And yesterday, he retired.

At 32, Murray is taking his seven all-around world championships, his record $3 million in winnings and his label as King of the Cowboys and ending a 14-year career that brought his sport just about all the attention it has gotten. ''I wanted to quit while I was still a world championship contender,'' Murray said yesterday by telephone from his ranch in Stephenville, Tex. ''I didn't want to be one of those guys who people said should have quit five years ago.''

Murray's spot in history has long been secured -- he was inducted into the Pro Rodeo Hall of Fame two years ago -- and Murray the competitor has been sharing space with Murray the icon ever since he won six all-around world titles in a row from 1989 to 1994.

For the past three years, he has concentrated on the Professional Bull Riding Tour, which he helped found in 1996, to highlight the best bull riders and save them from the 700-rodeo grind that makes the sport so difficult.

But it was Murray's spectacular run of success in the National Finals Rodeo in the early 1990's that vaulted him and his modest ''aw, shucks'' persona into prominence. Nightly highlight shows found time for him between mainstream sports clips. National sports magazines took notice. Sponsors took notice. So did, eventually, his current girlfriend, the pop singer Jewel.

''I've read that I'm the 'Michael Jordan of rodeo' thousands of times,'' Murray said. ''But I always just worried about getting better at my craft, about doing my job well, making sure I put every bit of effort and heart into every ride. If I did that, the money and the titles and the accolades and notoriety and whatever else, they would all stem from that.''

Murray won his all-around titles by dominating rodeo's harshest events: bull, bareback and saddle bronc riding. Injuries took their toll. There was a four-year gap between his sixth and seventh world all-around titles because of them. This season he has battled hand and shoulder problems.

But Murray said he had simply lost the drive to train as hard as he always had, to do all the traveling and all the competing necessary to stay at the top of the sport he has dominated since he broke in as an 18-year-old in 1988.

''He was a combination of a great athlete who could do everything in the sport and just a good guy,'' said Steve Hatchell, commissioner of the Pro Rodeo Cowboys Association. ''That's why he was so popular.''

He also tried to use his own popularity to improve rodeo. Like most top competitors, Murray believed the best cowboys should not have to travel to hundreds of events every year to earn enough to live and to qualify for the National Finals. He believed there should be a small circuit for the top riders, with higher purses, making the sport easier for fans to follow and easier for athletes to pursue.

''People don't go out to watch golf,'' Murray said. ''They go out to watch Tiger Woods. People don't go out to watch basketball. They go to watch Michael Jordan. People want to see the best of the best. Rodeo is a hard sport for people to grab onto.''

In rodeo, going to see the best was going to see Murray. He used his star power to help start the Pro Bull Riding Tour: fewer events for fewer riders who make more money at it. Murray earned more than $1 million in just over six seasons on the tour. The rest of the sport is trying to follow suit, trying to organize bigger events with better competitors that attract television exposure.

Most years, Murray would appear on television only once, at the National Finals Rodeo. ''That just tells you about his huge popularity,'' Hatchell said. ''He did it without any of the things we're trying to do now, without any TV exposure.''

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: baseballanalysts.com

                   BASEBALL 2008  -  HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL!

 

Past Times

February 19, 2008

Now Batting, Number 73. . .

By Al Doyle

While the big names and hot prospects are subjected to the intense media scrutiny and fan adulation of spring training, dozens of players from former All-Stars to obscure minor league lifers are scratching and clawing for one more shot at the majors or the consolation prize of another year in AAA.

In most cases, these non-roster players are guaranteed nothing but living expenses and a brief opportunity to show their stuff. In many cases, the fate of journeymen are determined before exhibition games begin. They were signed to spend five months in Omaha, Ottawa or Fresno, or as a cheap insurance policy in case a low-cost roster spot needs to be filled.

Their lowly status as the untouchable caste of spring training is reinforced by jerseys numbered anywhere from the low 60s to the upper 80s. Some of us who habitually pull for the underdog are drawn to this side of baseball. In 2007, two AAA graybeards actually made the Opening Day roster and enjoyed their first full seasons in the Show.

Jason Wood spent the season as a pinch-hitter and reserve infielder with the Marlins, while Jamie Burke backed up catcher Kenji Johjima for the Mariners. Wood was 37 when the season ended (he turned 38 in December), and Burke is a fuzzy-cheeked kid of 36.

Wood delivered 26 RBI with just 28 hits (117 ABs, .239), while Burke hit .301 (34 for 113) behind the durable Johjima. Both players are back with the same teams this year, something that doesn't happen much to older baseball vagabonds.

So who are some of this year's non-roster hopefuls? Perhaps a few of these veteran position players will get one more taste of life at the major league level in 2008.

National League

Tim Raines Jr. is in camp with the Diamondbacks. The switch-hitter's strong 2007 performance at Round Rock (.333, 11 HR, 49 RBI in 285 at-bats, 21 for 23 in SB) wasn't rewarded with a call-up to Houston. Raines last appeared in the majors in 2004. He is a .213 hitter (34 for 160 in 75 games) over parts of three seasons with the Orioles.

Javy Lopez is attempting a comeback at age 37 with the Braves. Former hot prospect Joe Borchard is also in camp.

With 1242 career minor league games and 1216 hits (.276), Luis Figueroa has more than a decade of professional experience. His major league time - 18 games and 16 ABs (2 hits, .125) - with the Pirates, Blue Jays and Giants - is minimal. Figueroa would be ecstatic to get the major league minimum from the Cubs.

Journeymen Jolbert Cabrera, Paul Bako and Andy Green could end up in Louisville if they don't make it with the Reds. Slugger Craig Wilson is one home run away from the 100 mark.

Former everyday players Marcus Giles and Scott Podsednik aim to leave camp with the Rockies. Jorge Cantu should have a job with the Marlins, while John Gall and Jorge Piedra compete for a bench spot. Jose Cruz Jr. hopes the Astros become his eighth major league stop, while Lance Niekro and David Newhan are also non-roster invitees.

AAA frequent flyers George Lombard and Danny Ardoin are with the Dodgers, as is former Blue Jay John-Ford Griffin. Former All-Star third baseman Fernando Tatis is attempting a comeback with the Mets, where Raul Casanova is also in camp.

Jorge Velandia raised his lifetime average from .151 to .188 during a September call-up with the Rays. The Pirates also invited 36-year old Jose Macias to compete with Velandia for a job in Pittsburgh or Indianapolis.

Oft-injured Juan Gonzalez hasn't appeared in the majors since a single 2005 at-bat, and the 38-year old former two-time MVP is trying to make it back to the bigs with the Cardinals. D'Angelo Jimenez is another non-roster prospect. The Padres are trying out Jeff Davanon and Jody Gerut as reserve outfielders, while the Nationals hope infielder Antonio Perez will bounce back from a horrendous 2006 season (10 for 98, .102, 44 Ks) with the A's.

American League

Catcher Ben Davis hasn't appeared in the majors since 2004. Former Twins backstop Chris Heintz will compete with Davis for a job with the Orioles. Keith Ginter, Joe Thurston and Bobby Kielty may be ticketed for Rhode Island (Pawtucket), but they are aiming for Fenway Park.

All or nothing slugger Brad Eldred and Jeff Liefer are wearing White Sox pinstripes this spring. After eight minor league seasons, Aaron Herr hopes to make his major league debut with the Indians. Hitting .389 (35 for 90) didn't put Timo Perez on the Tigers 40-man roster. Quebec City native Maxim St. Pierre has toiled behind the plate in the minors since 1997.

Ken Huckaby has spent at least part of every season in AAA since 1995. The 37-year old catcher hopes to make the Royals his sixth major league team. Former Blue Jays infielder Howie Clark has a non-roster invitation with the Twins. Cody Ransom, Jason Lane and Chris Woodward want to become Yankees. Non-roster signee Mike Sweeney appears to have good shot to stick with Oakland as a part-time DH/1B and mentor for younger players.

Veteran Mike Difelice is in camp with the Rays along with .298 lifetime hitter John Rodriguez. Adam Melhuse and Chris Shelton could split time between Oklahoma and the Rangers, while former All-Star Edgardo Alfonzo is attempting a comeback with Texas. Former Cardinals and Indians infielder Hector Luna may get to spend the season in Toronto.

The odds are usually long, but don't say that to the 2008 crop of non-roster hopefuls. A strong showing in March or an injury or two could put one or more of these longshots on a major league roster by Opening Day.

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: archive.comlab.ox.ac.uk

Collection of Rowing Quotes

Weightless in water, swift as the wind,
Subtle of purpose - a feather blown -
I go with my oarsmen where they will,
My beautiful body and theirs all one.
- Mark Van Doren

To follow the drops
sliding from a lifting oar,
Head up, while the rower
breathes, and the small
boat drifts
quietly shoreward...
- Theodore Roethke ( The Shape of the Fire )

"Pull thy oar, all hands, pull thy oar,
till thou be stiff and red and sore..."
- Dr. Sydney Dangell

"You linger to see his back, and the back of his neck and shoulder-side...
The Bending forward and backward of the rowers..."
- Walt Whitman "I Sing the Body Electric"

I met a solid rowing friend and asked about the Race. "How fared it
with the wind," I said, "When stroke increased the pace?
You swung it forward mightily, you heaved it greatly back. "Your
muscles rose in knotted lumps, I almost heard the crack. "And
while we roared and rattled too, your eyes were fixed like glue.
"What thoughtwent flying through your mind, how fared it, Five, with
you?" But Five made answer solemnly, "I heard them fire a gun, "No
other mortal thing I heard until the Race was done." -R.C. Lehman

Faintly as tolls the evening chime,
Our voices keep tune and our oars keep time. -Thomas Moore

Rowing: a competitive sport of boats that are narrow.
(Great Soviet Encyclopaedia)

And all the way, to guide their chime,
With falling oars they kept their time. -Andrew Marvell

So we beat on, boats against the current,
borne back ceaselessly into the past. -F. Scott Fitzgerald (The Great Gatsby)

"Internally, you experience rowing as a graphic microcosm of life -
solitude, learning, work, rest, nourishment, sharing and ultimately
challenge." -Allen Rosenberg

"Rowing is more than a fast boat on race day. It's a complementary
experience to a young man's intellectual development..
Rowing, like success, is a journey, not a destination. I tell my
oarsmen to have fun, learn and, most of all, grow as individuals. The
wins the losses will take care of themselves."
-Rick Clother, Rowing Coach USNA

"Rowing is not like baseball, where you can arrive late, grab your
glove and run onto the field. For me, it was the discipline of having
to be at a given place at a given time, sometimes seven days week.
As time went on, that very discipline influenced other dimensions of
my life." -Frank Shields, Penn. '63

"On race day, there's tremendous anxiety. Leading up to the stake
boat, I distinctly remember saying to myself, `I can't wait 'till this
is over'." -Frank Shields

"In rowing as in life, there are competitors and there are racers. The
competitor works hard and rows to his limit. The racer does not
think of limits, only the race." -Jim Dietz, Rowing Coach, USCGA

"The most significant message I can convey to the rowing athlete
is: Just row the race. Think, about the process. Don't dwell on the
result until it's history." -Larry Gluckman, Varsity Heavyweight
Coach, Princeton University

"Rowing is a sport for dreamers. As long as you put in the work, you
can own the dream. When the work stops, the dream disappears."
-Jim Dietz, Rowing Coach, USCGA

"As a coxswain, I concentrated most on knowing the people in my
boat - why they were rowing, why they came down to the boathouse,
what made them tick. You have to know whether someone's rowing
because they love their mother and hate their father. They're not
sure they are proud of themselves; they want to be proud.
Determine some of that and you can tap the strongest parts of those
individuals. Being able to inspire someone, unexpected and in a way
new and fresh to them, is what made coxswaining special for me."
-Devin Mahoney, Coxswain, Varsity Heavyweight Eight, Harvard '86

Not everybody wins, and certainly not everybody wins all the time.
But once you get into your boat and push off, tie into your shoes and
bootstretchers, then "lean on the oars," you have indeed won far
more than those who have never tried. (Unknown)

Flatter me, and I may not believe you
Criticize me, and I may not like you
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you
Encourage me, and I may not forget you. -William Arthur Ward

"When one rows it is not the rowing which moves the ship:
rowing is only a magical ceremony by means of which one
compels a demon to move the ship." -Nietzsche

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: myfutureisnascar.com

Here are some of the best NASCAR quotes I have heard!

"Hello, Pizza Hut"- Micheal Waltrip's motorcoach driver answering my phone call.

"The good thing about night races is they want you to get there in the morning, so you work all day and the race is at night, so you work all night!" Darrell Waltrip in the elevator after the Richmond race.

"Elliott Sadler's hood decal blew off on Lap 5. It melts in your mouth. And right off the hood,"- creative quote from Ryan Smithson in his weekly Power Rankings- Michigan, spring 2005.


Kyle Busch: "I hope Kevin Harvick didn't tell you to wreck me in this race"
Ron Hornaday: "What are you talking about?"
Kyle: "You are the driver for the guy I got in the wreck with"
Ron: "Dude, you have to get in front of me before I can wreck you and that's probably not going to happen" The irony? Kyle Busch won the race, with Ron coming in fourth!!!! - Dover 2005

"Well, the way I look at it... Junior keeps cussing on TV... that keeps knocking points off him if we can get Kurt Busch or Jimmie Johnson mad, they can say a few words that can knock more points off them... really they need to up the fine a little bit... maybe 50 or 100 points, of course we keep our mouths clean…" -Jeremy Mayfield commenting on his position in the 2004 Chase to the Nextel Cup.

"10-4 we're in it. The right front got damaged pretty bad. Didn't I tell you we're starting around all the [jerks]?" - Kurt Busch updating his crew after being caught in a Lap 1 crash in the UAW-GM 500 at Lowes Motor Speedway.

"All it takes is a small bobble on someone's part to cause a chain reaction of guys bumping into each other. It doesn't necessarily cause a wreck, but it gets guys beating and banging on one another." - Tony Stewart on racing at Bristol.

"Yeah, throw the checkered flag and get the hell out of here." Kevin Harvick, after the 200 cautions during the Lowes Motorspeedway Race, Fall 2005.




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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: ingolfwetrust.com

 

The Moans Of Tiger Woods

 

 

 

Tiger Woods: There I go being rubbish again...

Anytime any of you are feeling a bit down, depressed or worthless out there on the golf course this year, consider this: Tiger Woods - the greatest player the world has ever seen by aeons - miles, sucks. That's right, Tiger sucks ... in his own words. Here are some of Tiger's quotes, verbatim*, during the week in which he crushed a world-class ensemble at Torrey Pines en route to matching Arnold Palmer with 62 wins on the all-time PGA Tour list with an 8-shot victory at the Buick Invitational. To wit ...:

1. "It was pretty embarrassing. I hit a terrible tee shot over to the right ..."
2. "Whether it was 5-wood, 3-wood or driver, I didn't drive it very good at all ..."
3. "Yesterday was terrible. I drove it like a dog ..."
4. "I just have to hit the ball better than I'm hitting it right now ..."
5. "I hit a low left ball or a spinny high right. Kind of hard to aim when you've got both of those things going ..."
6. "Five was just a terrible shot."
7. "I chickened out on it because I was hitting a big hook ..."
8. "I was trying to hit a kind of low cut, to be honest with you, I hit it off the toe and hit a draw."
9. "I've gotten some pretty good breaks ..."
10. "It would have probably gone six, seven feet by, but it had a train wreck and went in."

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