FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: ave-it.net

 

Strange / Unusual Football (Soccer)Injuries

• The Date Sunday December 5th 2004. Playing in the Swiss league, Servette midfielder Paulo Diogo scored against Schaffhausen, then jumped into the crowd to celebrate. On the way, he managed to catch his wedding ring on a fence and tore off the top half of his finger. He was booked for excessive celebration.

• Arsenal's Perry Groves was on the bench When Arsenal went scored  he jumped up to celebrate only to hit his head on the roof of the dug-out! He knocked himself out and needed treatment from the physio.

• Back in the 70s, Norwegian International defender Svein Grondalen had to withdraw from an International after an accident which happened while he was out jogging. He collided with a moose.

• David Seaman once broke a bone reaching for his TV remote.

• In 1970 the career of Brentford's Goalie Chic Brodie was ended by injury following a mid-match collision with a dog that had invaded the pitch.

• Brazilian star Ramalho was in bed for three days after swallowing a suppository intended to treat a dental infection

• Milan Rapaic once missed the start of Hajduk Split's season after sticking his boarding-pass in his eye at the airport.

• Indonesian star Mistar, 25, was tragically killed by a herd of pigs that invaded his team's training pitch before a Cup fixture in 1995.

• Portsmouth's Johnny "Lager" Durnin, playing a round of golf with Alan McLoughlin, crashed his buggy into a fairway hollow because he was admiring the view rather than watching the ground in front, and dislocated his elbow putting him out for 6 weeks.

• In 1993 keeper Dave Beasant was kept out by a foot injury caused by a falling jar of salad cream. Yes, he fumbled it, and because his hands were full he stuck out a foot to stop it hitting the floor!

• Barnsley's Darren Barnard slipped in a puddle of his new puppy's pee on the kitchen floor. The resulting knee ligament damage kept him out of action for five months.

• Irish International Robbie Keane ruptured his knee cartilage in 1998 after stretching to pick up his TV remote control

• Steve Morrow broke his collarbone after falling off Tony Adams while celebrating the 1993 League Cup final win

David Batty's return from an Achilles tendon injury was put back when he was run over by his toddler on a tricycle.

Allan Nielsen of Spurs missed several matches after his daughter poked him in the eye

Alan Wright, Villa's little full-back, needed treatment for a knee strain caused by stretching to reach the accelerator in his new Ferrari. 'It gave me grief,' said Wright, who swapped the car for a Rover 416.

Arsenal legend Charlie George never fully recovered from cutting off his big toe with a lawnmower.

Lee Hodges of Barnet slipped on a bar of soap in the shower, wrenching his groin

Alan Mullery missed England's 1964 tour of South America after putting his back out while brushing his teeth.

Reserve Liverpool keeper Stensgaard once injured himself in an incident with an ironing board. We don't know if he was ironing at the time.

Richard Wright, was warming up in the goalmouth in preparation for an FA Cup tie against Chelsea for his club Everton, when he twisted his ankle. He did it landing on a wooden sign instructing people not to practise there. 

Spain (and Valencia) keeper Santiago Canizares was ruled out of the 2002 World Cup finals after a bottle of aftershave dropped on his foot caused cuts and serious tendon damage.

David Beckham needed stitches above his left eye following a dressing room incident after Arsenal's 2-0 FA Cup win at Old Trafford on 15th Feb 2003. The injury was caused by his manager Sir Alex Ferguson kicking a football boot at him.

Crystal Palace keeper Alex Kolinko was hit around the head by his boss Trevor Francis in October 2002. Kolinko was on the bench, and Francis took offence when he laughed at their conceding a goal. The FA fined Francis 1000 pounds over the incident.

In 1996, Grimsby manager Brian Laws broke midfielder Ivan Bonetti's cheekbone after the Italian threw food at him in a dressing-room row. Laws escaped punishment, but they both were forced to make public apologies.

Shaun Goater injured a foot while playing for Man City against Birmingham in the autumn for 2003. The injury was sustained when he kicked an advertising hoarding in celebration of a goal by Nic Anelka. Goater had to be substituted.

Also in 2003, Villa striker Darius Vassell injured himself while attempting DIY surgery on his own foot. He had a blood blister under the toe-nail on his big toe and was using a power drill to drill through the nail and drain the wound. Drilling to drain such blisters is not an uncommon procedure, but normally it is conducted by a qualified person under sterile conditions. Vassell made it worse, picked up an infection, and had to have half the nail removed.

Stalybridge Celtic keeper Mark Statham missed a game in 1999 after trapping his head in a car door. We presume that his absence was caused by a resulting injury (rather than that he was still stuck in the car at kick-off) but we don't know what the injury was.

Halifax defender Dave Robinson put his shoulder out falling off a kid's slide

 

 

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: thefuntimesguide.com

 

      STRANGE BASEBALL INJURIES,  2006

• Sammy Sosa sneezed twice while bending over in the Cubs' clubhouse, sending his back into spasms and putting himself out of the lineup.

• Marty Cordova couldn't play because he fell asleep in a tanning bed and burned his face too badly.

• Clarence "Climax" Blethen, a 30-year-old Red Sox rookie, thought he looked older and meaner if he took out his false teeth when he pitched and kept them in his hip pocket. Only he forgot to put them back in his mouth, and when he slid into second base to break up a double play, he bit himself in the butt!

• Denny McLain went to bed in perfect health and woke up with four dislocated toes.

• Glenallen Hill, an outfielder and arachnophobic, had a nightmare about spiders while sleeping on the couch. In his attempt to get away from the "big bad spider", he crash-landed onto a glass table, leaving his body littered with shards of glass.

• Adam Eaton, Texas Rangers pitcher, was trying to remove that annoying security tape on a DVD with a paring knife and wound up stabbing himself in the stomach.

• Chris Hanson took a swing with an axe at a chunk of wood. He missed and drove the axe deep into this left leg. He was rushed to the ER and placed on injured reserve for the rest of the season. Amazingly, Hanson is still the Jags punter to this day.

• Bret Barberie was making nachos with all the fixins, including chili peppers and hot sauce, but he neglected to wash his hands after touching the spicy ingredients. When he went to put in his contact lenses, he felt a severe burning sensation. He missed the next game.

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ source: stripersonline.com

CBC SPORTS ONLINE TOP 10
Bizarre baseball injuries   2005

Contact sports are the scene of some of the nastiest injuries going. Football and hockey offer no shortage of juicy gashes, broken bones, groin tears and snapped knee ligaments.


Colorado Rockies shortstop Clint Barmes joined some elite company by carrying deer meat up the stairs.
Baseball players are also familiar with the disabled list. But what truly sets America's pastime apart from other sports are the bizarre ailments suffered by its participants. The sport has a rich, and hilarious, history of athletes missing a start or ending up in rehab after turning the most mundane of tasks into a trip to the infirmary.

In the past couple weeks, Minnesota Twins left-hander Terry Mulholland scratched his right eye by rolling over a loose feather in a hotel pillow, and Chicago Cubs reliever Mike Remlinger broke his left little finger after getting his hand caught between two reclining chairs.

But the kicker came this past weekend when National League Rookie of the Year front-runner Clint Barmes of the Colorado Rockies broke his left collarbone ... carrying deer meat up the stairs.

Barmes originally said he returned home cradling a bag of groceries in one hand and holding a sweatshirt in the other. He grew tired of waiting for the elevator to his fourth-floor apartment and decided to take the stairs.

The Colorado shortstop said he then slipped on a stair and, after failing to grasp the hand rail, landed squarely on his left shoulder.

Barmes eventually changed his story, telling the Denver Post he was carrying deer meat given to him by teammate Todd Helton, not groceries, and the rookie reiterated the injury had nothing to do with an ATV ride the two men took together on Helton's property.

Barmes, who is sidelined for three months, may miss out on the end-of-season hardware, but he's joined an enduring list of players injured in oddball circumstances.

Here's a look at some more of the most peculiar injuries ever sustained by baseball athletes away from the diamond:

1. John Smoltz, Atlanta Braves

John Smoltz
John Smoltz is often mentioned as one of the best pitchers of his generation. The comparisons range from Greg Maddux to Pedro Martinez. But one thing is certain â€" Smoltz will never be mistaken for Martha Stewart.

Smoltz, the anti-domestic diva, once scalded himself while ironing a shirt â€" while he was wearing it.

Smoltz could write the book on how to throw a split-fingered fastball, but first, he should probably use the free time to read the instruction booklet for his de-wrinkling device.

2. Glenallen Hill, Toronto Blue Jays
Nightmares can induce emotional and psychological stress. For Blue Jays outfielder Glenallen Hill, bad dreams brought on a more tangible pain.

Hill tumbled out of bed and crashed into a glass table while having a nightmare about being covered in spiders.

The cuts he sustained caused Hill to likely become the first athlete ever sidelined due to arachnophobic-related injuries.

3. Wade Boggs, Boston Red Sox

Wade Boggs
Boggs was a master at stroking hits and winning batting titles. But on at least one occasion, he should've skipped batting practice in favour of footwear instruction.

The soon-to-be Hall of Famer once strained his back while slipping on a pair of cowboy boots.

The ailment kept Boggs out of the lineup for seven games.

4. Sammy Sosa, Chicago Cubs

Sammy Sosa
Slugger Sammy Sosa captured the imagination of baseball fans during his epic long-ball duel with Mark McGwire during the summer of '98. He also entered baseball's wacky injury fraternity last season when a double-barrelled sneeze brought on back spasms.

Instead of joining his teammates on the field, Sosa spent a Sunday afternoon in the Cubs' clubhouse receiving back treatment.

5. Adam Eaton, San Diego Padres

Adam Eaton
Padres hurler Adam Eaton just wanted to kick back and watch a movie. Little did he realize, a few hours later, he'd star in his own thriller at the local emergency room.

Eaton accidentally stabbed himself in the stomach with a paring knife while trying to unwrap a DVD a few years ago.

Eaton described the move as "boneheaded." In in his defence, those fussy plastic wrappers are tricky to bust into. But talk about coming in with the heavy artillery.


6. Bret Barberie, Florida Marlins
Bret Barberie had difficulty landing a steady starting gig in the major leagues during the 1990s. But the utility infielder was forever enshrined in baseball's Injury Hall of Fame with one wipe of the eyes.

The former Montreal Expos draft pick once missed a game while a member of the Florida Marlins after inadvertently rubbing chili juice in his eyes.

Unfortunately for Barberie, the former husband of Canadian-born TV personality Jillian Barberie, the gaffe represented one of his hottest streaks of the season.


7. Steve Sparks, Milwaukee Brewers
This injury falls under the "don't try this at home" category.

Sparks, a well-travelled knuckleballer, once attended a motivational speaking seminar hosted by the Brewers. The group ripped phone books in half and blew up hot water bottles.

Sparks was apparently fired up by the session, so much so that he tried to tear a phone book of his own. Bad idea.

The right-hander dislocated his shoulder while performing the stunt.

8. Kevin Mitchell, eight big league teams

Kevin Mitchell
Legend has it former slugger Kevin Mitchell suffered a couple of the strangest food-related injuries in baseball history.

On one occasion, Mitchell was placed on the disabled list after apparently straining rib muscles while vomiting. And, according to ESPN.com, Mitchell was four days late for 1990 spring training when he was hurt eating a microwaved donut.

Soon after eating the sweet delicacy, Mitchell â€" so the story goes â€" needed a root canal.


9. Marty Cordova, Baltimore Orioles

Marty Cordova
Some baseball players get naturally bronzed by spending many summer hours toiling under the blazing sun. Others choose to get their tan a different way.

A visit to a California tanning salon provided baseball with one of its more bizarre injuries.

Marty Cordova once burned his face under some tanning lamps, forcing him to miss a game. Under doctor's orders, the Orioles outfielder/designated hitter was told to stay out of direct sunlight.

That explanation must have gone over well in the locker room.


10. Jeff Kent, San Francisco Giants

Jeff Kent
All-star second baseman Jeff Kent may be a multi-millionaire, but he still prides himself on being a regular guy â€" the type of Joe Average who washes his own vehicle.

He might want to rethink that.

Kent made headlines a few years back for breaking a bone in his left wrist while cleaning his pickup truck at an Arizona self-serve car wash. The 2000 National League MVP said he slipped and hurt himself by trying to break his fall.

Reports later surfaced suggesting Kent may have injured his wrist while attempting motorcyle tricks in a parking lot â€" acts that would've violated his contract with the Giants. Kent denied ever pulling the Evel Knievel moves.

 

 

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: thestar.com

Memorable quotes from 2007

"He may be drawing on someone else's experiences."
Zing! Former Giants running back Tiki Barber isn't the only one surprised to hear Terrell Owens is writing a children's book called Little T learns to share.

"I'm not as top as I'd like to be, but I'm topper than others."
Heavyweight champion Vladimir Klitschko.

"If one hockey player ever does that show he's never gonna live to tell about it."
Red Wings defenceman Chris Chelios reflects on the possibility of appearing on Dancing With the Stars. He's more into harp and long walks on the beach.

"I saw Pierce Brosnan in the crowd and he's one of my favourite actors so I tried to play better."
Marion Bartoli reveals her taste in Bonds after a shock win in the Wimbledon semifinals. Opponent Justine Henin spent the match staring at Prince Charles.

"From what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors."
New York Knick Stephon Marbury, who could have his own page of whoppers, adds pet owners to his enemies list in the wake of the Michael Vick scandal.

"He lied and then he came back and apologized to everybody. I felt that was classy."
Sacramento King Ron Artest deepens Vick's woes with another sterling character endorsement.

"This is the best feeling I ever had. You cannot compare it to sex. But you know, I would say it is better than sex. It is!"
Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton reveals that he is a virgin after winning the Canadian GP.

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: topendsports.com

Sport Psychology

Quotes about Pain & Effort

This collection of quotes are about these quotes are about pushing through the pain barrier and training hard to achieve success.

"Sweet is Pleasure after Pain"
- Dirigo Rowing Shell advertisement

"Hard training, easy combat; easy training, hard combat"
- Marshal Suvorov, famous Russian General

"Your training partner's name is pain. You start out trying to ignore him. Can't do it. You attempt to reason with him. No way. You try to strike a bargain. Hah. You plead. You say "Please stop, please go away. I promise never ever to do this again if you just leave me alone." But he won't. Pain only climbs off if you do. Then you're beaten. "
- Scott Martin

"The pain of disipline is far less than the pain of regret"
- Sarah Bombell, synchronized swimmer

"The Truth is that Running Hurts. No one gets faster without meeting their personal pain barrier straight on. No amount of junk miles, fun runs or affirmations are going to get you over the hill at the five mile mark in a 10k. However, what will pull you through is solid prep with hard hill runs and interval work."
- Manciata's explanation of the Truth about Running

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: weknowsportsquotations.com

DEREK JETER

I like to dance and sing when there's no one around, but, if I'm out, I'm really shy about it. So it takes a lot to get me going, but I enjoy being around music.

My dad had been shortstop when he was in college, and you know, when you're a kid, you want to be just like your dad.

We just want to win. That's the bottom line. I think a lot of times people may become content with one championship or a little bit of success, but we don't really reflect on what we've done in the past. We focus on the present.

Yankee Stadium is my favorite stadium; I'm not going to lie to you. There's a certain feel you get in Yankee Stadium.

You forget about it whether it was 15-2 or 3-2. It's still a loss. It doesn't matter what the score was if we win tomorrow.

You gotta have fun. Regardless of how you look at it, we're playing a game. It's a business, it's our job, but I don't think you can do well unless you're having fun.