FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: netfunny.com

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SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes from the 1992 Olympics
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Since everyone seems to love "Top 10" lists, Here is a Top 20 list of quotes from the Olympic Games:
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Honorable Mention:Todd Eldridge for shooting himself in the head after falling down during his performance on a simple manuver.
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20. "Max, Get your ass down Here!" - Kerri Lee Gartner, after placing First in the Women's Downhill
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19. "I'm Going to Disneyland!" - Kristi Yamaguchi, after winning the Gold
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18. "I do a serious job, and the bosses know they can rely on me for frozen pucks." - Jean Julien, Official Puck Freezer of the Olympics
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17. "I Won't Be Happy Till I Take it All!" - Herscel Walker
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16. "I'm a Sexy Kinky Tom Boy..." - sung by Cathy Turner
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15. "They're going to have to call it Albertoville." - Alberto Tomba
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14. "I'm Sorry. I have failed you." - Midori Ito (to Japan)
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13. "Don't Cry Midori, There's always Tomorrow." - The Jaspanese Press
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12. "You Have to Be Brave." - John Anduit, Target Changer for the Biathalon
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11. "Where Are You Tomba?" - Katarina Witt
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10. "I came, I saw, they kicked my Butt,,," - Chris Bowman
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9. "I ate some bad fish." - Eric Flame, U.S. Speed Skater
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8. "This is not what the olympics are about." - The Anal-retentiveBrittish IOC Spokesman in reference to Eddy 'The Eagle' Edwards
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7. "I'll see you at Lillehammer in '94!" - Eddy 'The Eagle' Edwards
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6. Ooooh! - Scott Hamilton & Verne Lundquist, Figure Skating Reporters
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5. "Somebody Took My Glasses." - Faissel Cherrati, Morroco X-C Skier.
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4. "Nancy is a very special friend of mine." Paul Wylie, immediatelyafter the exhibition performace with Nancy Kerrigan.
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3. "YOU'RE DEAD, PAUL!!!!!" - Paul Wylie's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend atHarvard, immediately after the exhibition performace of Paul & Nancy.
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2. "Get me the ____ out of There!!!!! I can't ____ Take it anymore!!!!!!!" - Team USA Goalie Ray LeBlanc after facing 26 shots inthe first period against Tchzeckoslovakia.
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And the Number 1 quote from the 1992 Olympic Winter Games at Alberto... er... Albertville, France is............
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1. "There's More to life than this." - Dan Jansen, Olympic Speedskater for US after his 2 failed 'runs for the Gold'.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

Image: thecia.com.au
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SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes from 2003
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I get a few strange looks when I use the hotel laundry. They're used to washing shirts and socks - but not too many have been asked to clean a panther's head!
- Barmy Army member Kevin Thame, who wore a Pink Panther costume to watch the England cricket team's two Test matches in sweltering Bangladesh.
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I raced round the store and finally found her in the fizzy drinks aisle. I told her Jonny had got the winning kick. She just came over to me, flung her arms around me and burst into tears.
-Tesco vegetable counter assistant Marie Haddon, who broke the news to Jonny Wilkinson's mother, Philippa, that her son had won the World Cup for England.
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I went to the bank the other day and got a standing ovation
-Jason Leonard on how life has changed since winning the Cup.
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It's the first time I've come through London without getting stuck in traffic, which is always a bonus!
-Josh Lewsey's view of the parade.
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I've had a text from granny - she's going to throw a party for you -What Prince Harry told England star Mike Tindall after they had won the Rugby World Cup.
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I never talk about Uriah Rennie except to say I don't like him as a referee - never have, never will, end of story
-Manchester City manager Kevin Keegan not talking about Uriah Rennie.
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At 16-16 I was singing songs in my head. I think Tom Jones' Delilah was in my head
-Mark Williams after beating Ken Doherty 18-16 in the final of snooker's Embassy World Championships.
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I knew it wasn't going to be our day when I arrived at Links Park and found that we had a women running the line. She should be at home making the tea or the dinner for her man who comes in after he has been to the football
-Albion boss Peter Hetherston on lineswoman Morag Pirie after his side lost to Motrose.
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We weren't rowdy or out of order but we went to a lap-dancing bar so my mum wasn't too happy about it! It was worse facing her than it was facing the gaffer
-Hibs striker Tom McManus.
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It's like watching God
-Alan McManus after seeing Ronnie O'Sullivan compile his latest 147 break at The Crucible.
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It's like a woman on her wedding day - nervous, out of position and hoping everything would soon be over so she could go up to the bedroom
-Hugo Gatti, a reporter on Spanish paper Marca, pulls no punches in his blunt assessment of Fabien Barthez's performance for Manchester United against Real Madrid.
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It was a freakish incident. If I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could I would have carried on playing!
-Sir Alex Ferguson's version of the Beckham boot incident.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: theinsider.com

AMANDA BEARD, SWIMMER

Image: cm1.dotspotter.com

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SPORTS TRIVIA

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Amanda Beard: Nude for PETA

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Americans that tune in to the Olympics this month won't see Amanda Beard swimming for her country. The beautiful athlete failed to quality in any events.
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But fans can still see Beard playing a prominent role in Beiing, as her new, naked ad for PETA debuts there today.

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“Seeing animals slaughtered to be worn as fashion is awful to me, so I’m definitely against wearing fur … I’d much rather go naked than ever put a dead animal on my body,” it reads.

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You can now see Amanda Beard nude in Playboy and in defense of animals.

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: theroar.com.au

SPORTS QUOTES
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“They’re just going to be pumped to the max, they’re going to have 65,000 nutbag redneck Queenslanders supporting them and going mad and hating us, they’re just going to have everything going for them.
- NSW’s WILLIE MASON on Wednesday’s State of Origin II at Suncorp Stadium.
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“I was very lucky to play under a couple of very good captains in Australia. I played under some average ones as well - you can make your own mind up which one is which.”
- SHANE WARNE.
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“With the Giro and the Tour de France under my belt, I can justifiably consider myself one of the greats of cycling, even if there still remains a lot of work to be done to reach the level of the legends.”
- Tour de France and Giro d’Italia champion ALBERTO CONTADOR
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“Well, I think there was a guy called Nadal on the centre court and he played much better than me all the time, a bit like a flash.”
- NICOLAS ALMAGRO on his loss to fellow Spaniard Nadal at the French Open.
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“When I first went over there, walking down for breakfast wasn’t an issue. Then all of a sudden I started to score a few runs and it all changed.”
- West Australian batsman SHAUN MARSH on becoming a star performer in the Indian Premier League.
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“I nearly collapsed. I was holding onto the rail trying to support myself from falling over, in all honesty.”
- Prop BEN ALEXANDER on being told of his bolter inclusion in the Wallabies squad after just 6 Super 14 games off the bench.
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“To be honest, I think bananas are a pathetic fruit.”
- British tennis star ANDY MURRAY on what he won’t eat at the change of ends.
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“I almost croaked many times. God still has me around for a reason - to win a funeral.”
- ELAINE FULPS, who won a won a $US10,000 ($A10,440) paid funeral at the Grand Prairie AirHogs minor league baseball game in Dallas.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: skidinsideways.com

GOLF QUOTES
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Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.
Homero Blancas, asked if he had any uphill putts
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When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man.
Ron Green, Charlotte Observer
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One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.
Mac O'Grady, describing a typical round of golf
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Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.
Heywood Hale Broun
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When I putt, my emotions collide like tectonic plates. It's left my memory circuits full of scars that won't heal.
Mac O'Grady
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That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over 60 feet of peanut brittle.
Lloyd Mangrum, about Bobby Locke
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: litquotes.com

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SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes from major literary works
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Life was a damned muddle . . . a football game with every one off-side and the referee gotten rid of--every one claiming the referee would have been on his side.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise
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In truth, no men on earth can cheer like Englishmen, who do so rally one another's blood and spirit when they cheer in earnest, that the stir is like the rush of their whole history, with all its standards waving at once, from Saxon Alfred's downwards.
Charles Dickens, Little Dorrit
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To see both sides is indeed the requisite of a great lawyer, but to see the opposite side only in order to win, as in looking over an opponent's hand in a game of cards.
Charles Dudley Warner, That Fortune
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The best chess-player in Christendom may be little more than the best player of chess; but proficiency in whist implies capacity for success in all those more important undertakings where mind struggles with mind.
Edgar Allan Poe, The Murders in the Rue Morgue
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