SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: humordb.com

Image: lblairenterprises.com
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OLYMPICS HUMOR
The Elderly Olympics
submitted by Capt. Kurt
on May 01, 2007.
Now that the baby boomers are becoming senior citizens, its time to update some childhood games:

1. Sag, you're it.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: teamjuicyracing.com

ENZO FERARRI
FERARRI ENZO

RACING CAR QUOTES
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Aerodynamics are for people who cannot build engines. (Enzo Ferrari)
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All I had to do is keep turning left! (George Robson - Winner of the 1946 Indy 500)
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Anyone can drive a fast car, few can drive a car fast.
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Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports...all the others are games. (Jim Dietz)
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Calling upon my years of experience, I froze at the controls. (Stirling Moss)
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The cost of racing hasn't increased in 30 years. Back then, it took everything you had. And it still does.
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Fast cars drag race, fast drivers road race.
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Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death... (Hunter Thompson)
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Friends don't let friends apex early.
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Horsepower has this tendency to break things. If you're not breaking anything you're not going fast enough.
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I always ask God for blessings of protection on that person in the car, for blessings of protection on the crew as they're attending to the car on pit road. And I always ask for peace of mind for the wife. (Dale Beaver - NASCAR chaplain)
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I don't know driving in another way which isn't risky. Each one has to improve himself. Each driver has its limit. My limit is a little bit further than other's. (Ayrton Senna)
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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I feel safe when I'm on the racetrack, I really do. I know that I'm surrounded by the best drivers in the world. That's something you can't say when you're driving down the interstate. (Sterling Marlin)
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I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways. (A. J. Foyt)
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I live my life a quarter mile at a time.
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I was doing fine until about mid-corner when I ran out of talent.
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If I had all the money I'd spent on cars...I'd spend it all on cars.
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If you can't run with the big dogs, Stay on the porch
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If you're going to lead, then lead.If you're going to follow, get the hell out of my way!
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In the old days drivers were fat and tires were skinny.
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It has been said that motor racing shares in common with sex the distinction of being one of the most popular, most maligned and least understood of human activities.
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It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down. (Mario Andretti)
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It is not always possible to be the best, but it is always possible to improve your own performance. (Jackie Stewart)
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Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150.
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Never drive faster then your guardian angel can fly.
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Never run out of real estate, traction and ideas at the same time.
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The number of laps remaining is always one more than the amount of fuel left in the car.
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The number of times you get hit in a pileup is directly proportional to the number of times you said "I think it will go ok today".
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The older I get, the faster I was.
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On the other side of fear there is freedom!
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Once you've raced, you never forget it...and you never get over it. (Richard Childress)
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Oversteer is when your ass hits the wall, Understeer is when your face hits the wall!
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Oversteer scares passengers, understeer scares drivers.
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A part never breaks during a test session, only during a race. And the part you need will be the one you left at the shop.
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The price for men in motion is the occasional collision... (Carroll Smith)
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Race car drivers love the fast lane.
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Race cars are neither beautiful nor ugly. They become beautiful when they win. (Enzo Ferrari)
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Racing is living, everything else is just waiting.
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Racing is the process of turning money into noise.
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Racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph. (Peter Dunne)
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The shortest way between two points is a straight line...what's the fun in that?
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Straights are for fast cars. Turns are for fast drivers.
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A 10-car pileup never happens behind you!
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There's no secret. You just press the accelerator to the floor and steer left. (Bill Vukovich)
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To achieve anything in this game you must be prepare to dabble in the boundary of disaster. (Sterling Moss)
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To finish first, first you have to finish
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What sets these - and all - racers apart from less daredevilish mortals is their complete lack of fear and their joy of doing something on the edge. They love to speed because it is dangerous. (Peter Golenback)
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What's behind you doesn't matter. (Enzo Ferrai)
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When I look fast, I'm not smooth and I am going slowly. And when I look slow, I am smooth and going fast. (Alain Prost)
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When you win a race your on top that day, so take it for what its worth, have a good time and party, cause the next day when you get out of bed, the meter goes back to zero again. (Bobby Allison)
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Winners win races. Champions make it look easy.
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Wrecks are going to happen in this business, that's just a risk of the sport. If you can't keep from worrying about it, then you're in the wrong line of work. (Coo Coo Marlin)
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You will never know the feeling of a driver when winning a race. The helmet hides feelings that cannot be understood. (Ayrton Senna)
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You win some, you lose some, you wreck some. (Dale Earnhardt)
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1. Don't brake until you see God, just don't meet him
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2. Winning by 1/2", is still winning
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3. Its more fun to have more horsepower then talent
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4. If I caught you, you are slower
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5. And I quote this months car Craft "unlike car racing, golf, football, and soccer only require one ball"
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6. If Americans were real racers, they would race DOWN Pikes Peak
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#3 Buddy Baker speaking of an ill-handling Cup car at Darlington when TNN did the race: "I wouldn't get outta' the electric chair to drive that thing".
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#2 Kyle Petty describing Bobby Hillen's point of view after Hillen creamed him during a minor spin-out at Talladega: "Here comes that blind boy again".
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#1 Felix Sabates talking about fast race cars(and you have to apply your best Cuban accent when you're reading this): "If money is what makes these cars fast, my cars otta be going 400 miles an hour!".
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Typical saying for a squid at a local circle track - "He hit everything but the snackbar"
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Buddy Baker - Bustin' a timin' chain is like throwin' a brick at a clock
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Buddy Baker - Passin' Earnhardt is like trying to take a bone out of a Pit Bulls mouth
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MY favorite! "If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you finally enough horsepower". Mark Donohue
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Image (Man): italianalmanac.org
Image (Car): carbodydesign.com