SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Sunday, May 4, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: toptenchicagosports.com

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Top Ten John Daly Quotes

In honor of April Fools Day, we decided to honor America's favorite fool: John Daly. Daly has always been a fan favorite, and he has always had some of the craziest quotes in all of sports. The beer chugging, chain smoking, womanizing, Hooters loving Golfer is a true character. Here are ten of the best quotes we could come up with (along with ten of the best photos we could find of him).

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10. (About his future wife) "She said, 'I don't like blonds and I don't like golfers, but I do like fat boys.' So I knew I had a chance."

This kind of attitude is what makes John Daly awesome. I wonder if he met her at Hooters?

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrRnwBGCXsUJtDVOxyoC8RlrENVtIS4LdZgxyIDSvq4WzAnijxgxrvTv3r3ouid-1GlgAwEhNe0xq4aQROr1ONaufODkWQx-ge6S1rtJonqmokS_xcdZpn76LNdkpSCiI1W-TYOxabGgI/s1600-h/j7.jpg

9. "I quit eating the (junk), ...Two hundred is my goal."

We all know that THIS never came to fruition.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRDsYlIbE5sYlR6gITLFqQ_i3EvDs5qrm1bKifzVJyhxYtW04VGV7pPtlcXvJt6AEHGuPiar1kOVeKye6BynXYuh1WojfAbXYR3zrDVrsdijIQphpxnd6kc1rh49_emjQlSCxYvwdCpts/s1600-h/j8.jpg

8. "It's gonna be grease, I'll tell ya that. I love Hooters."

This is a quote that John Daly said when asked what he would serve for the Masters dinner. Somewhere, Fuzzy Zoeller is cringing.

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7. "My wife tried to stab me."

It's funny cuz it's true.

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6. "I tried but every time I worked out I threw up, and I thought to myself that you can get drunk and throw up, so it's just not for me, I'd rather smoke, drink Diet Cokes and eat."

For a man who smokes, and drinks so much Diet Coke, you would think Daly would be slightly skinnier.

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5. "I look at those girls who work at Hooters as my daughters," Daly said. "I love to see little baseball teams come in there and eat wings, and coaches are happy because they won. That's what I see in Hooters. I don't see the [expletive] everyone else sees."

John has four children (that we know of), and hundreds of puppies. (Sorry that bad joke was too good to pass up).

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4. "Well, it's a tie and jacket and I just don't travel with one, ... You're not going to put a coat and tie on me for dinner. I'm just being honest. Plus, the wives can't go and I'd rather see the wives be able to go instead of just all the guys. That makes it fun."

John Daly at his best. He doesn't travel with a suit in the RV he travels in? I strongly dislike MTV, but if they want me as a fan they will do the right thing and do an MTV Cribs of John Daly's touring RV.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQWssv40Qot28rGKWaNrsKXkmulu2R4kRRBXnJnMie7L-dIy-Ura6_EElBi4KCKW0q70ynZ8dksKTqXWm6PXAXAutHI4JOBBNmpdIPwWCCt5LIACNd_9QtN6-rmA8qzBcFFQ1bhC7iahw/s1600-h/j2.jpg

3. "I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein."

John should be a scientist. This is just brilliant.

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2. "I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic."

There needs to be a gym that allows smokers and beer drinkers for people like John Daly. I mean everyone has tried to play some kind of sport while hammered, right? By the way, Miller Lite is really missing a golden opportunity by not using John Daly as a spokesman. He could be like the Jared for beer drinkers.

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1. "When my [fourth] wife was in jail, I parked my bus at Hooters in Houston and my son didn't want to go to day care. He just wanted to be at Hooters. And I feel safe about that."

This quote is unbelievable on every level. He mentions his fourth wife, his love of Hooters, (who also sponsors him), and his young son prefers Hooters to daycare (smart kid, but ridiculous parenting). I am very curious to see how Daly's kids turn out.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: usatoday.com

SPORTS MUSEUM OF AMERICA OPENS IN NEW YORK ON 7 MAY 2008
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Play by play: The Immersion Theatre at the Sports Museum of America puts fans right in the action.
Visitors can experience a National Hockey League puck approaching at 120 mph or step on a simulated NASCAR racetrack when the Sports Museum of America opens May 7 in New York.

The 45,000-square-foot museum, housed in three floors of a Lower Manhattan building, contains more than 600 artifacts, 1,100 photos and more than two dozen interactive exhibits.

The museum will display the original Heisman Trophy, college football's top honor. Visitors can vote for the best college player, who will receive the trophy each December at the museum.

It also will house the Billie Jean King International Women's Sport Center, which includes the first hall of Fame dedicated to women's sports, museum officials say.

Admission is $27 for adults, $24 for seniors and students, and $20 for children 4-14.

Information: 212-747-0900; sportsmuseum.com.








Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family favorites at AOL Food.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: misterharold.net

SPORTS GUIDELINES \ HUMOR
  1. Heckling: If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  2. Board Game: If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kick boxing.
  3. All Sports: If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: girlscantwhat.com

Posted by: gretchen on April 5, 2007

http://www.cafepress.com/girlscantwhat/2804837For the first time since Pam Postema in 1989, a woman is calling the plays in the game of baseball. Ria Cortesio became the first female umpire to work a major league exhibition game last Thursday as she made calls on the bases during games between the Chicago Cubs and the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Ria had hoped to sneak into the game and blend in with the other officials, but that just didn't happen. The game itself was rather ordinary, but several folks took notice of the new female umpire on the field. By Thursday afternoon, the sports world was buzzing with the news.

Ria Cortesio Umpire PhotoThe very first woman to break into pro baseball was Bernice Gera, who became the first female umpire on June 25, 1972. There have been other female umpires over the years, but Cortesio is the first to crack the major leagues. At age 30, Ria Cortesio is no newbie to the game. She has a nine year career that includes five years in Double-A action.

The response to Cortesio has been very positive so far among fans and players alike. Chicago Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee was quoted as saying "It's awesome. I think it's about time. Female eyes are as good as male eyes. Why can't they be umpires? Good for her."