SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Monday, December 10, 2007

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: atholtonsports.com

BASEBALL QUOTES
"I was busy blowing on it." — Red Sox manager Terry Francona, saying he didn't see the ball that Tampa Bay's Delmon Young misplayed into a David Ortiz walk-off homer.

"We've got a 260-yard approach to win the Open, and we've got to stick it on the green." — Todd Jones on what the Tigers needed to do to make the playoffs.

"I'm surprised more people don't get injured out there. It's as bad as there is. It's worse than playing in a parking lot. It looks like they had a monster truck rally. It's terrible. There's potholes. It's bad. It's unsafe." — Adam Dunn on the Wrigley Field outfield where Ken Griffey Jr.'s season ended with a groin injury last week.




FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: Uniformviolation.com

FOOTBALL QUOTES

NFL Uniform Quotables

"People try to make a big deal out of it. It's not any different than Chad [Johnson] going to the sidelines and taking [out] a coat. All I had was a little towel, and now they want to make that into a big deal."

Terrell Owens Terrell Owens, Dallas Cowboys
Source: The Dallas Morning News (2007)



"It's a little ridiculous, but it's league policy. We've got a new commissioner who wants to enforce the rules, and we have to stick by them."

Jerome Mathis Jerome Mathis, Houston Texans
Source: Houston Chronicle (2007)



"I guess if they're going to pay a guy a million dollars, they've got to find a way to get $5,000 or $10,000 back from him" ... "So my socks were too low? Who complains about petty stuff like that? Even my mama wouldn't complain about my socks being too high or too low."

Dunta Robinson Dunta Robinson, Houston Texans
Source: Houston Chronicle (2007)



"It's out of hand, way out of hand" ... "Are we playing football or running a fashion show?"

Gene Upshaw Gene Upshaw, NFL Player's Association Executive Director
Source: Street & Smith's Sports Business Journal (2007)



"My whole uniform smells like beer right now."

Chad Johnson Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: AOL Sports (2007)



"I tried being a normal guy last year, and I think it hurt me as a player" ... "I can't be the guy who just does what he's supposed to, and nothing way out there. It's not me." ... "I've got my sex back." ... "I might do something that'll cost me a game, but believe me, everybody will love it. The memory of it will last a lifetime."

Chad Johnson Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: Sports Illustrated (2007)



"My very first thought? What the crap! You gotta be kidding me! I wore that hat, I think, for something like 12 minutes." ... "That's a big fine. A huge fine. Somebody said it's the biggest fine for a non-playing violation the league ever handed out."

Brian Urlacher Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears
Source: Sports Illustrated (2007)



"I think guys should be able to dress like they want as long as it's not a different color or a different brand, something totally out of whack."

Lenny Walls Lenny Walls, Denver Broncos
Source: The Gazette (Colorado Springs) (2005)



"I wore my bracelet in almost every game last year, and the NFL uniform police never caught me."

Erron Kinney Erron Kinney, Tennessee Titans
Source: USA Today (2005)



"I could also go crazy thinking about fines in the NFL. Getting a $5,000 fine because your jersey is not tucked in, when they're asking guys to play at the highest level of football, is ridiculous. You're out there hitting, you're focused, and who in his right mind is thinking about his clothing? It's just a way for people with the boss-man mentality to get into our pockets and use the power they have over us, a way of keeping us down."

Terrell Owens Terrell Owens, Philadelphia Eagles
Source: "Catch This!" by Terrell Owens & Richard Weiner (2004)



"That is a stupid fine for the simple fact that they want everybody to be the same," ... "This is an individual game, you know. That is the thing that has the league being the No. 1 sport, because different personalities come together as one and people enjoyed that." ... "Your players don't even enjoy themselves."

Clinton Portis Clinton Portis, Washington Redskins
Source: Yahoo! Sports (2004)



"It's not taking away from any of Reebok's money. It's not taking away from the NFL uniform at all. It's just paying tribute."

Derek Smith Derek Smith, San Francisco 49ers
Source: San Jose Mercury News (2004)



"I set aside 50 grand before the season for league fines" ... "I'm already to $35,000. It's ridiculous. If we wanted to be in the military, we would have joined. There are too many rules, too many nitpicking things. They want us to be robots. They want us all the same."

Chad Johnson Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: CBS Sportsline (2003)



"Don't you think if I come up and hit Ahman Green, something's going to come out?" ... "They ought to let us play football."

Fred Smoot Fred Smoot, Washington Redskins
Source: USA Today (2002)



"They got me" ... "I can't believe it."
[Referring to his uniform violation]

Michael Vick Michael Vick, Atlanta Falcons
Source: CBS Sports (2002)



"I look like a nerd when I'm out there" ... "I'm dressed like in the '80s."

Chad Johnson Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals
Source: USA Today (2002)



"The uniform police are out before every game" ... "We can't always pick them out and it's not something we're usually thinking about. But the players know they're watching us, taking notes." ... "We literally can be in the middle of talking about a game plan or something, getting all fired up to go out and play, and Jackie will come over and tell us that we'd better pull our socks up or something like that."

Steve Beuerlein Steve Beuerlein, Carolina Panthers
Source: The Sporting News (2000)



[The use of Vaseline] "is quite common in the NFL. I know I use it on every cold game, I always have. It protects your skin in cold climates."

Mike Shanahan Mike Shanahan, Denver Broncos
Source: Associated Press (1997)






FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: statsheets.com

GOLF QUOTES
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Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. - Huxtable Pippey
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In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base. - Ken Harrelson
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Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. - Dave Barry
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Play it as it lies is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is Wear it if it clashes. - Henry Beard
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How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice. - Lee Trevino
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The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye





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