SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Friday, March 7, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: itsallaboutlappy.com

 
 
 

Ian Laperriere Quote Book

2006 - 2007 Quotes From Lappy

 

 

"We aren't going to fool ourselves and say that we have one guy here who can replace Rob Blake. Nobody can do that because there's only one Rob Blake out there and he's on another team. We just need to have the team be better defensively to help fill that void."
October 3, 2006 - The Pueblo Chieftain

"I love the game. I love to play. I am like a kid everyday. The day I am going to take it (hockey) as work is the day I am going to have to retire."
October 8, 2006 - The Pueblo Chieftain

"I just kept trying. What else can you do? I'm just happy it's over, and now I have to think about No. 2 instead of No. 100."
After scoring his first goal of the season and 100th of his NHL career against Minnesota - October 30, 2006 - Denver Post

"I have so much respect for this man. He never talks about his NHL stats and always downplays things. Not just on the ice. You should see him in the gym. He puts in so many hours there. He's a great example for the young guys and the older guys ... that if they want to stay at the top of your game, this is what you have to do. He's 37, but I don't see any drop-off in Joe." 

December 1, 2006 - The Edmonton Journal

"Joe, a lot of his goals are poetry, coming down the wing..."

Speaking of Joe Sakic - December 1, 2006 - National Post

"Nobody likes to be called the 'L' word, but I have a lot of respect for Craig. He's got four Stanley Cups. What am I supposed to do? It's just two emotional guys out there..."
After Oiler's coach Craig MacTavish called him a loser -
December 1, 2006 - The Edmonton Journal

"It's part of the game, even if some channels on TV say it's all fake or an act or something like that. Look at my face and look at his face tonight, I don't think it's any acting there."
After a fight with Vancouver's Rick Rypien -
December 4, 2006 - The Vancouver Province

"I was here for nine years. It's always fun to come back and see familiar faces in the stands. It was special for me and it always will be. It feels like home and people treat me well."
On playing in Los Angeles -
December 12, 2006 - TheFourthPeriod.com

"If I had 15 games every time I threw I punch, I'd be out of this league. He'll remember that punch for the rest of his life, for sure."
On Nuggets forward Carmelo Anthony, who was suspended 15 games for punching Knicks forward Mardy Collins -
December 20, 2006 - Rocky Mountain News

"I remember, but I wasn't that poised. I was more of a hyper kid, and I was running around everywhere out there. He seems to know exactly where he is on the ice at all times."
Comparing his own 1994-95 rookie season with St. Louis to Paul Stastny's rookie season -
January 10, 2007 - San Jose Mercury News

"Nope. Because if I do, I'll be minus-four... Alex is that kind of player. He can put on a show, elevate his game."
When asked if he'd take it easy on Alex Tanguay in his first return to Pepsi Center -
January 12, 2007 - Calgary Herald

"A lot of people are saying, 'Yeah, Colorado doesn't have a future...' Well, so far it's pretty good. Every game, those young kids seem more comfortable. It's the maturity. When I broke into the league, 20-year-olds didn't have it. These guys are so mature for their age, that's why they're great NHL players."
Speaking of Colorado's young players such as Stastny, Wolski and Budaj -
January 14, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"Obviously I want to help the team by scoring. On the other hand, you are put in a position to do that sometimes. Now my role is more defensively - go out there and bang, and if I need to get into a fight, I'll get into a fight. It's not different from what I had been doing until last year."
Discussing the difference in his on-ice duties between this season and last season -
January 19, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"I hadn't scored many goals and had been thinking way too much about it, so hopefully now I can simplify my game."
After his second goal of the season -
January 21, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"If you look at my goals in my career, I don't have too many end-to-end ones like Joe does. It's pretty much my career right there."
Referring to his 2nd goal of the season, which he knocked in from his knees, as he backhanded a rebound over goalie Joey MacDonald -
January 21, 2007 - Longmont Daily Times-Call

"He's not a nice guy at all. Only kidding...You hear rumors about the guy. But until you're around him every day, seeing the hours he puts in, the work he does, you see how remarkable he is."
Talking about Joe Sakic -
January 25, 2007 - Fox Sports

"He's facing shots, he's hitting, he's getting hit, he's playing against the top lines. He's doing everything, the grinding stuff. He's doing it the hardest way you can do it in our business."
February 5, 2007 - Colorado Springs Gazette

"There are guys who never get hurt because they never go where you can get hurt. He goes all over the place. He's blocking shots every night, he's taking hits, he's giving hits. That's one guy you appreciate a lot more when you play with him because you see all the little things he does. When you play against him, you notice him."
"I don't know, maybe it's what they eat back in Latvia...I want to eat a little more of that."
Referring to teammate Karlis Skrastins, current NHL Ironman -
January 29, 2007 - Longmont Daily Times-Call

"I'd make the nets the size of soccer nets. That would help me a lot. I have three goals now, but if we had the bigger nets, I might have four."
On what he would change if he were NHL commissioner for a day -
February 18, 2007 - Calgary Herald

"I don't know why they charge more for a mountain view. With the weather, you never see the mountains."
On Vancouver hotels and the picturesque city's reputation for rainy days -
February 19, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"Oh, sure, you chirp at guys -- nothing personal, but about their game -- to try and throw them off, try and get an edge, make them think about something other than what they're supposed to be doing. But what could a guy like me possibly say to a guy like him? He's won Stanley Cups and Olympic gold medals. He just goes about his job, not saying much, being the best player on the ice at both ends. So why would he pay any attention to anything a guy like me had to say? Besides, if I did say anything to him on one shift, he'd just turn around and embarrass me on the next one. No, best to keep your mouth shut."

"I'm trying to put into words what he's meant to this franchise. What he still means to this franchise. I guess 'everything' is about the best way to put it."
Talking about Joe Sakic - February 21, 2007 - ESPN.com

"I've never had the chance. And I'm not a big party animal, either. I've got my two animals at home that keep me busy. I don't have time to party."
When asked if he had ever checked out Mardi Gras -
February 21, 2007 - Denver Post

"Fighting is part of our game. There are emotions, cheap shots, and you get popped. You don't see the person; you just see the player. It's my job to fight and if I don't do it, I'll lose my job. But after a fight, sometimes we go out the same night we fought."
March 1, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"That's a lot, but on the other hand, it's not that much."
On Islander Chris Simon's 25-game suspension for his stick attack on the Rangers' Ryan Hollweg -
March 12, 2007 - Denver Post

"He works hard in practice and after practice. When you work hard, good things happen to you, and he's the best example on our team... He's been playing great. He wants the challenge and he's welcoming that and he's playing well for us. You talk to the kid and he's never tired; he's hyper and he just wants to be in the net. Every night he gives his best effort and gives us a chance to win."
Talking about 24 year old Avalanche goaltender Peter Budaj -
March 13, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"If a stick tells you if you're tough or not, there's a problem."
Laperriere is one of several NHL players who will use a special pink stick this weekend to raise money for breast cancer research -
March 17, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"That was a French... not a french kiss, but a kiss from a French guy, you know."
After Tyler Arnason set him up for a beauty, Laperierre said thanks in his own special way, with a kiss on the cheek -
March 22, 2007 - tsn.ca

"I think fighting still belongs in the NHL. You see an accident like that, we've seen it in the past. You don't want to see anybody get injured, but I don't see an NHL without fighting."
Referring to Todd Fedoruk, who was carried off the ice on a stretcher after taking a punch in the face from New York Rangers' Colton Orr -
March 24, 2007 - Edmonton Sun

"I'll have one of his jerseys at the end of the year and too bad for them -- if they want one, maybe I'll sell it to them." 

"I'm sure they were impressed by Joe's play like we are. Hey, if your leader shows up every night -- a living legend -- and works that hard on and off the ice, who are we not to show up?"
On Joe Sakic -
April 4, 2007 - Calgary Sun

"He's 37 years old, for crying out loud. There's just something inside driving him to be the best he can be."
On Joe Sakic -
April 6, 2007 - Rocky Mountain News

"Joe never panicked, never screamed at anybody. Guys would look at him and think, 'He's not panicking, so we must be all right.' I've seen leaders stand up and point fingers, but he's the opposite. He goes out there, and in the back of his head, he's thinking, 'If I do my job, the guys will follow.' That's a real kind of leader. You play with just a few in your career, and we're lucky to play with a guy like that." 

"Usually, guys with skills like that will let themselves go and play with their skills only, but he puts a lot of effort in the gym, stretching, things like that. You hear rumors how hard he works, but when you see it, on the road, at home, he'll find a gym to do his stuff. It's really impressive. At 37, it's unbelievable."
On Joe Sakic - April 7, 2007 - Longmont Daily Times-Call

"It is mind boggling that we aren't in the playoffs -- Not with the way we played down the stretch."
April 8, 2007 - cbc.ca

"To play the way we played and every point we got...I just can't take it negatively. It's all positive in my head. Where we were, a lot of teams could have given up."
The Avs had won 15 of its last 17 before their defeat by the Predators -
April 8, 2007 - Calgary Herald

"Nineteen players out of 20 on their team knew exactly how the game was going to be played: play hard but don't be stupid. At the end, it was a stupid hit. We don't want to hurt them going into the playoffs and nobody wants to get hurt going into the summer. You can play hard and smart, but he decided to take a run at Arnason and I felt it was the place to tell him it's not right. You just can't do that. You've got to respect the game because it's going to come back and bite you."
On why he decided to fight Calgary's Dion Phaneuf late in the Avalanche's 6-3 win against Calgary -
April 9, 2007 - Associated Press







FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: boxingscene.com

 
    ROBERTO DURAN QUOTES  (2005)

The legendary Roberto Duran, who celebrated his 54th birthday on Thursday, was on a national conference call to promote the June 24th Team Freedom pay-per-view fight headlined by Yory Boy Campas vs. Matt Vanda. The fight will emanate from the Target Center in Minneapolis, and will also feature a celebration of the 25th anniversary of Duran's memorable victory over Sugar Ray Leonard, the first loss in Leonard's tremendous career, to win the WBC welterweight title.

On why he is now promoting fights for Team Freedom: "I want to be remembered as a great fighter and great person; I want to keep the Roberto Duran name out there so people don't forget."

On how it felt to defeat Leonard: "I was elated after that win. He was the Golden Boy, the idol of the U.S. But I was ready mentally and physically. I felt I had won over the Montreal fans, I was very happy."

Could the fighters of today in his division beat him. "I know all the fighters well. Some of them might be hard fights, but it would be very difficult for any of these fighters to beat me because I am on a different level."

Does he have any regrets about the No Mas rematch against Leonard?
"Leonard's people outsmarted my people, they knew I was going to party hard after the win. They outsmarted us by having the rematch so soon after the first fight. I had a difficult time making the weight. I was really upset at the management team."

On how the rematch ended: "I never said no mas, how could
(television broadcaster) Howard Cosell hear what I was saying, he was on the other side of the ring."

 



FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: understandfamousquotes.com

 


First, golfers don't have to be fit. Second, they keep their clothes on while playing. And third, they frequently wear plaid.
~~ Richard Wiseman ~~

Richard Wiseman, a British psychologist found in his study that as far as women are concerned, golf is the least sexy sport a man can play. The above is his explanation as to why that is the case.

I have played golf a few times and found it to be quite boring; I just can't seem to understand as to what the challenge is in hitting a little ball with a stick and see how far it goes. Plus the cost to play a game of golf is atrocious. I think the popularity of golf has to do more with the human herd mentality; we just tend to follow the herd thinking that since everybody is doing it, it must be good.

I think golf is a game for those who have lots of money to waste and lots of free time on their hands. Besides the exorbitant rates charged by the golf course (Why do they call it a golf course? Just wondering!) owners and operators, it takes almost a whole day to play a game of golf. And, like Richard Wiseman reasons, you don't have to be fit to play golf! The average Joe has just been suckered in by the marketing machine and will walk away from this sport as soon as he wakes up from his slumber.

Women have a sixth sense; that's why they know way before the average Joe that there is nothing sexy or even remotely interesting about this game. Kathy Lette said that Average Golfers Handicap is his IQ LOL.