FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: collegesports-fans.com

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ utterpants.co.uk

Funny Sports Blunders

Funny sporting gaffes from News commentators

Here are several comments made by sports commentators that we think their authors might like to take back...

Rugby Commentator: "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

Motor Racing commentator: "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."

Weathergirl: "So Trevor, where's that eight inches you promised me last night? Oh, hell! Are we still on air?" Becky Mantin - BBC weathergirl, the day after it was supposed to snow and didn't, to Black newsreader, Trevor McDonald

Astronomy commentator: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and it looks like he's just come in his shorts." Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage

Golf Commentator on caddy Fanny Sunneson: "Some weeks Nick Faldo likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to play with himself."

Running commentator: "Paula has a quick look between her legs and likes what she sees."

Motor Racing commentator: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix

Cycling commentator: "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing us what balls he has!"

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: soundoflife.net

SOCCER QUOTES

 

Let us start with this quote by Maradona,

 

 "The English club proved that miracles really do exist. I've now made Liverpool my English team. They showed that football is the most beautiful sport of all."

 

Ronaldo puts it best when he said, "We lost because we didn't win."

This is what Victoria Beckham had to say about her hubby,

 

 "He walks around the kitchen going 'I'm a gay icon, they love me.' The thing is with David is that he doesn't care. He'll go out in his skirt and his bandana and he doesn't care what people say."

 

Bobby Charlton replied when soccer players were referred to as slaves,

 

"Some people tell me that we professional players are soccer slaves. Well, if this is slavery, give me a life sentence."

 

"I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion. "

On Team Work by Brinna Scurry.

 

George Graham on the goal keeper

 

 "The goalkeeper is the jewel in the crown and getting at him should be almost impossible. It's the biggest sin in football to make him do any work."

 

This is a quote from Ronaldo,

 

 "Everyone tells me that the Italian championship is the toughest in the world, but I'm not afraid. In my career, I've always scored goals, wherever I've been."

 

A quote by Casey Korkus

 

 " It's why we play the game. Anything is possible, anything can happen, and we proved that again tonight."

 

Johan Cryuff on the Italian footballers, "Italians can't win the game against you, but you can lose the game against the Italians"

 

"A million wouldn't buy him, and I'd be one of them." Bill Shankly

 

This one is funny, "If we played like this every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistent."

 

Beckham on "Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had."

 

 

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: runplanet.com

RUNNERS ONE-LINERS

I go running in the morning, before my brain figures out what I am doing.

• I'm in shape... "Round" is a shape, isn't it?
• The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, it is too far to walk back.
• My first job was in a running shoe company; I tried but I just didn't fit in. So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
• If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
• If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
• If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
• If the refrigerator and television weren't so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any walking training at all.
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
• I have to run early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I am really doing.
• The advantage of running every day is that you die healthier.
• It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at 5,000 dollars per month.
• I joined a running club last year to lose some weight, spent about $100. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
• The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example: if the advertisement strongly suggests that particular brand of running shoes enabling athletes to perform amazing feats, the advertiser wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
• If you are going to try cross country, start with a small country.
• I don't jog - it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
• You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.
• If rabbit's feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
• "The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again" - Erma Bombeck
• I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
• You know you are stressed if you can achieve "runners high" by sitting up.
• In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels".

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