FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

SPORTS QUOTES
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"If he would have said '78 Impala or something like that, I think I would have known. That's too far back for me."
- Jason Ferguson
Dallas Cowboys' nose tackle, after Bill Parcell's compared him with a 1948 Packard.
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SOURCE: The Baltimore Sun, August 20, 2006, "They Said It", page 2D
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"If that had been me, I'd still be lying there. I would have owned a percentage of that team."
-Joe Horn
New Orleans' Saints receiver, on the mishap in which the TennesseeTitans' mascot ran into the Saints' Adrian McPherson with his golf cart.
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SOURCE: The Baltimore Sun, August 21, 2006, "They Said It", page 2C
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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TICKET - VT
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Used by Dolphins offensive lineman to describe being beaten for a sack, as if a blocker were just an usher taking tickets("Man, Dwight Freeney really ticketed you on that play.")
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"I got it from my college coach. We'd watch tape and somebody would get beat, and he'd be like 'Ticket, please.' "
- Miami Dophins guard Vernon Carey
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SOURCE: ESPN the Magazine, August 28, 2006, TheJump Squawk (The Wide Words of Sport), p. 50
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"When his little girl of 4 had a school project about what your daddy does, she said 'he sprays trees'. She thought he sprayed trees when he worked and played football for fun."
- Bonita Favre on her son Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers quarterback.
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SOURCE: The Baltimore Sun, August 29, 2006,"They Said It", page 3E.
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"We're very confident there was no intent to harm anyone."
- Nick Mango, a lawyer for Maurice Clarett, after the former Ohio State football star was arrested wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying four loaded guns in his sport utility vehicle.
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SOURCE: Chicagotribune.com, August 15, 2006, Quotables
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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"Go Raiders!"
—Robert Charles Comer, executed in Arizona on May 22, 2007
after saying his last words.
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SOURCE: tru-tv.com
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FOOTBALL QUOTE
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In This Corner.....
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WORM CHAMP\n. - used by some NFLers to describe a
defensive player thrown to the ground, as if they were
burrowing into dirt ("Dude, Orlando Pace totally made
you worm champ today!")
Jags D-lineman Paul Spicer:
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BASEBALL QUOTE
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"Eighteen broken bones and seven broken cups."
Johnny Bench, Hall of Fame catcher, on his career statistics.
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SOURCE: Baltimore Sun, They Said It, August 17, 2006
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BASEBALL QUOTE
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"A.J., A.J, A.J. He carried it only halfway to first base this time and threw it at our dugout.
That's perfect. Just A.J. being A.J."
- Ron Gardenhire, Twins manager, on White Sox catcher A. J. Pierzynski, who flipped his bat high after a home run that followed being plunked in his previous at-bat in a contentious series.
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SOURCE: Washington Post, August 28, 2006,"Around the Horn", Quotable, page E6.
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BOXING QUOTE
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"I looked around, and it was hard to tell who were the boxers and who were the patients."
-Jin Mosely, wife of Sugar Shane Mosley, recalling a trip she took with her husband and other boxers to visit a convalescent home.
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SOURCE: The Ring, November, 2006, Quotable, page 14.
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BOXING QUOTE
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Light heavyweight champion Archie Moore's
analysis of his fight with Rocky Marciano for
Marciano's heavyweight title in 1955:
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He was a swinging machine, who didn’t seem to know the use of fear.
He didn’t seem to notice the pain of the punches. "No, I was too busy getting hit."
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Archie Moore, his last opponent, said, "It was like fighting an airplane propeller. He had no footwork to stay out of my reach, but then I was the one who wanted to stay out of his. I tried to make him punch himself out, but he never ran out of gas."
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In the 6th round of their fight, Marciano threw haymakers and uppercuts for 45 seconds, nonstop, at the dodging Old Mongoose, most missing or glancing off the top of his head and shoulders, but Marciano just kept swinging until Moore dodged into one too many.
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When asked later which punch hurt the most, he said, "Man, they all hurt! It was like getting hit with a blackjack or a bag of rocks."
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SOURCE: listverse.com
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BASKETBALL QUOTE
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"I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible."
(Leslie Nielsen, movie actor)
SOURCE: thatsinteresting.com
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GOLF QUOTE
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"Well, they're not actually great reading material."
- Michelle Wie, 16-year-old pro golfer, when asked after being penalized two strokes for a violation in the Women's British Open, if she would read the Rules of Golf.
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SOURCE: The Sporting News, "They Said It", August 21, 2006, page 28.
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SOCCER QUOTE
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"It's the only sport that leaves your hands free for obscene gestures."
- Steve Colbert. comedian and host of theColbert Report (cable) on why he likes soccer.
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SOURCE: Sports Illustrated, July 17, 2006,"They Said It", page 26.
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AUTO RACING QUOTE
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"Naturally, I'm going to get a hold of Sheriff White and tell him honestly what happened, not what these crazy idiots that work for him are writing down."
- Bobby Unser, after he and Al Unser, Sr. were arrested for ignoring an Abuquerque police roadblock on Unser Boulevard.
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SOURCE: ESPN the Magazine, August 28, 2006, The JumpSquawk, (The Wide Words of Sport), page 50
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EXTREME SPORTS QUOTE
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"They got it half right. I walked away, but with a broken neck and back."
- MOTO X jumper Trigger Gumm, responding to news reports that he was uninjured after crashing on a 315-foot world record attempt on July 23, 2006.
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SOURCE: ESPN the Magazine, August 14, 2006
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: pacers.org.uk

TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES
Running quotes
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"If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
- Marty Stern, Athletics Coach
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"Get up and walk if you have to, but finish the damned race"
- Ron Hill
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Click here to view ===> MORE RUNNING QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: track-and-field-jumpers.com

TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES
Quotes on pole vaulting
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Click here to view ===> POLE VAULTING QUOTES
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Editor's note:
Source site offers many helpful hints for beginning
jumpers in track and field.
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Consider returning to the site for helpful information
on learning the art and skill of track and field jumps.
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DISCLAIMER:
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Recommendation above is based on a quick overview
of the site and is not based on consultation with any
of the site's representatives.
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====================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: horners-corner.com

TRACK AND FIELD HUMOR
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George H. Bush certainly never created the impression that he was one of American politics’ stand-up funny-men.
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Yet he demonstrated a good sense of humor when he flubbed a line during his 1988 presidential campaign.
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Bush said, “We’ve had triumphs. We’ve made mistakes. We’ve had sex.”
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“Sex” was the tongue-tied replacement for “setbacks.”
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Bush recovered easily from his flub by saying,
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“I feel like the javelin thrower who won the toss and elected to receive.”
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