SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: oddee.com

10 Most Bizarre Sports
Published on 7/2/2007

Chess Boxing: you'll need either a check-mate or a knockout

Combining both intellect and physical prowess is the wonderful world of chess boxing. If you can afford the price of a pair of boxing gloves and the expenditure of a few brain cells, then this is the sport for you. The game, brainchild of Dutch participant Iepe the Joker, consists of six rounds of chess interspersed with five bouts in the ring. Contestants can win either on the board or between the ropes, with either a check-mate or a knockout being the most convincing of victories. However, should the referee deem it necessary, he or she can prematurely finish a bout. Should a participant take too long to move a chess piece due to unconsciousness, for example, the match is similarly ended. In the event of a stalemate, the one with the highest boxing score wins. It is indeed a unique blend of intellectual keenness with physical skill, though veterans of the sport may find one of the two increasingly difficult after a while.




Wife Carrying World Championship

The Finns have the great honour of holding the annual Wife Carrying World Championships. What you do is simply grab a hold of your significant other, and carry her (or him) to the finish line faster than the other competitors. Cool! The games are hosted in the small town of Sonkajärvi in upper Savo, in the eastern part of Finland. The rules say nothing at all about the weight of the wife, only that she can be yours as well as somebody else's. The Wife Carrying World Championships website explains the rules further and has an official entry form. The site also says that this year's World Champions were a couple from Estonia and that the Estonians actually swept the board, leaving no medals at all for the poor Finns. Oh dear.


Underwater Rugby

The game of underwater rugby is played in a swimming pool of approximately 4m depth. Two teams of 11 players aim to make a goal by getting the weighted ball in the opposing team's basket. Each basket is at the bottom of the pool. This is quite an exciting game as normal gravitational rules do not apply to any of the manoeuvres or tactics you might instinctively seek to employ.



Rock Paper Scissors League

This is a sport started on a dare... right? The U. S. Association of Rock Paper Scissors. That's right, U.S. Association... damn proud. The USARPS League is the official Rock Paper Scissors League of the United States. It is sponsored by Bud Light. Matti Leshem is the co-commissioner of the USA Rock Paper Scissors League In April 2006, the inaugural USA Rock Paper Scissors League Championship was held in Las Vegas, Nevada. Following months of regional qualifying tournaments held across the US, 257 players were flown to Las Vegas for a single-elimination tournament at the House of Blues where the winner received $50,000. The tournament was shown on the A&E Network on June 12, 2006.


Man versus Horse

In Wales there's a famous race called the Man Versus Horse Marathon. A cross country course is laid out, and human competitors pit their stamina against that of a posse of chosen horses. The course is 22 miles long with many natural obstacles to overcome. The steep slopes are a great test of the endurance of both man and beast, and the tricky forestry, which a man may dart through but which a horse can only travel around, is equally difficult terrain. The ultimate aim is to run the course and beat the first horse. This was recently done for the first time by a marine who had been training especially for the event. He won a large cash prize - a prize that's been getting bigger every year.


Bog Snorkeling


Competitors must snorkel through dirty, smelly mud water for two lengths of a 60 yard trench that has been cut through a peat bog. The snorkeler with the lowest completion time wins. Competitors wear snorkels and flippers (wet suits are optional) and cannot use conventional swimming strokes. The world record time of 1min 35sec is held by Phillip John. The 2007 Bog Snorkeling championships will take place on August 27 in the small town of Llanwrtyd Wells in Wales.


Cheese Chasing

Also known as Cheese Rolling, this dangerous sporting event that takes place every May 22 in Gloucester, England on Cooper's Hill. The event is said to be at least hundreds of years old. A wheel of cheese weighing about eight pounds is rolled down a very steep hill, and dozens of contestants go scrambling after it so hard and fast that broken limbs and other injuries are common. Whoever nabs the cheese is the champion and they win 15 or so minutes of fame (and the cheese.)


Buzkashi: like polo, but with headless goat

The national sport of Afghanistan and Kyrgyzstan, buzkashi might take the goat for most bizarre sport of all. It is similar to polo in that players on two teams sit atop horses, they are trying to move an object toward and into their goal, and the game can get pretty rough. However, those who play buzkashi do not use mallets, nor do they use a ball; instead, they use a dead calf or goat whose head has been cut off. The players grab the dead headless calf or goat, pass it off to other players, and try to score by getting it in their goal. Serious buzkashi players train intensively for years, and many of the masters over forty years old.


Unicycle Hockey

Sometimes, games involving large, toothless Canadians armed with wooden sticks can seem a bit too easy. So how do you make ice hockey more difficult? Play it on unicycles! Following the same basic rules as ice hockey, "uni-hockey" enjoyed scattered success for nearly 25 years in America, Europe, and Asia. Leagues even formed in Germany and Great Britain. Then the new millennium arrived, complete with plenty of flashing lights and pretty zeroes. Distracted by all the excitement, the few remaining enthusiasts climbed aboard their one-wheel chariots and rode off into the sunset.


Sepak Takraw

A popular sport in Malaysia and elsewhere in Asia, this one is not bizarre for weirdness as much as for the sheer athleticism involved – the athletic skills required might put even Michael Jordan to shame. Sepak Takraw resembles soccer, volleyball and gymnastics all in one game. The Takraw ball is about the size of a 16" softball and usually made of rattan or hard plastic stems. There are three players per team, and players stand on opposing sides of a net and use their feet, knees, shoulders or head to hit – actually smash is a more appropriate term – to the opposite side. No hands or arms are allowed. It is common to see players front-flipping, back-flipping and moving their bodies in other impossible ways to hit the ball and score points.


 
 



FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: mariasharapovaworld.co.uk

Maria Sharapova

Maria Sharapova

Quotes

"I'm not the next anyone, I'm the first Maria Sharapova"

"I'm just like every other girl who likes to shop, likes to look good, likes to spend time with friends"

"I've been playing against older and stronger competition my whole life. It has made me a better tennis player and able to play against this kind of level despite their strength and experience."

"I learned there's a big difference between juniors and the pros"

"A great tennis career is something that a 15-year-old normally doesn't have. I hope my example helps other teens believe they can accomplish things they never thought possible."

"Sometimes I feel my arm is like a swan's neck - so weak."

"I don't follow other players or the tournaments they play. I have my own schedule and do my own thing. I never really think, 'Oh, I want to be or play like so-and-so.' I just like being myself"

"The first few games were a little bit tough getting used to the conditions, … I haven't played a lot of matches. Then after a while you can really go after it. I feel a lot stronger in my arm. I move quite well. I don't think I have moved that well in quite a while."

"He's so talented and just plays so loose. It seems like he's playing without any effort, plays always by instinct."

"I think I learn a lot from losses and they make me a lot tougher,"

"When you come off the court and you feel like you were losing the whole match, and all of a sudden you pulled it out, you know, it's those moments that you feel you've trained for and you work hard for. Just lucky to get through."

"The first match is never easy. You don't know what to expect,"

"It was a lot tougher than it seemed. I needed to find a way to win every single point. You know, it's all right. Still got through it without serving great."

"I definitely feel Russian inside, even when I'm in America I feel Russian,"

"I want to play for Russia, I definitely want to play for Russia in Fed Cup competition,"

"I also want to play in the Olympics and would love to represent Russia there as well."

"I'm 17 years old and there are many great things ahead. If I don't win the U.S. Open this year, it's not going to be a disaster in my life."

"I now have two titles (singles and doubles) under my belt and it feels great, … I think with these things, it is a matter of time. If you put in the hard work - and I have worked so hard - I think this week really showed and it paid off."

"A great tennis career is something that a 15-year-old normally doesn't have. I hope my example helps other teens believe they can accomplish things they never thought possible."

"I learned there's a big difference between juniors and the pros."

Trivia

  • Has appeared on the cover of SI (first tennis player in over two years to do so) ESPN The Magazine, Forbes (listed as one of the richest female athletes in the world), Teen Vogue; also featured in People Magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People", Vogue Italia, USA Today, Teen People's "20 Teens Who Will Change the World", W, YM and SPORT Magazine's "21 Athletes to Watch Out For in the 21st Century", among others.
  • Has appeared on NBC's Today and Tonight Show, Entertainment Tonight, Live with Regis and Kelly, Inside Edition, ESPN's Sportscenter and Cold Pizza, Fox and Friends, CBS' Early Show and Craig Kilborn, MTV's TRL, Access Hollywood and the Tour's Magazine Show, among others.- Awards include Tour Player of the Year and Most Improved Player of the Year in 2004, also Whirlpool's 6th Sense Player of the Year in November 2006.
  • Signed her own fragrance deal with Parlux Fragrances in September 2004. Her own fragrance "Maria Sharapova" was launched September, 1 2005 .
  • Along with $1 million in prize money, was presented with a Porsche Cayenne S for winning the 2004 season-ending Tour Championships and donated the value (approx. US$56,300) to those affected by Russian school hostage crisis in Beslan.
  • In February 2007, Maria was named a UNDP Goodwill Ambassador and made a $100,000 cash donation to help with Chernobyl recovery projects.
  • Considers herself a "Renaissance Woman" for her many interests off the court, which include, reading literature, visiting museums, painting, collecting stamps, studying fashion, and learning new languages
  • Maria is a natural lefty. At age 10 she played lefty for 6 months but then switched back to right. She sometimes hits left-handed forehands in matches.
  • Coached by her father Yuri Sharapov and Robert Lansdorp
  • Mother's name is Yelena
  • Started hitting tennis balls at age four; at six, participated in exhibition in Moscow that featured Martina Navratilova
  • Began training at Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy in Bradenton, Florida, USA, at age nine (which required a two-year separation from mother due to visa restrictions and finances)
  • Off-court interests include fashion, singing, dancing and movies (favorites are Mona Lisa Smile, Something's Gotta Give and Love Actually)
  • In second year of high school and studies via an Internet school.
  • Enjoys reading books in the Sherlock Holmes and Pippi Longstocking series.
  • Prefers Russian and Thai cuisine
  • Favorite dessert is French crepes with Nutella.
  • Favorite drinks are orangina and virgin strawberry daiquiris
  • Signed with IMG Models in November 2003
  • Previously was educated by her mother before learned via Internet at Keystone National High School.
  • Her last name, Sharapova, is the feminine version of her father's name, Sharapov.
  • In order to develop her skills, her parents sent her to U.S. instead of Russia even though the Russian government had provided ample funding to support its tennis development program.
  • Was signed up by Prince, Oakley and Nike at the age of 9.
  • Wears Nike and uses a Prince racquet in the court.
  • Her name appeared in Teen People's list of 20 Teens Who Will Change the World in 2002.
  • Was labeled one of The Coolest Girls in America by YM magazine and 'On the Move' by People Magazine.
  • Was mentioned as one of 21 Athletes to Watch For in the 21st Century according to SPORT Magazine.
  • Was featured in W magazine and USA Today in 2003.
  • Became the first tennis player in more than two years to be the cover of Sport Illustrated in a special double-issue on newsstands for two weeks.
  • Appeared in Vogue Italia by August 2004.
  • Was among the 50 Most Beautiful Celebrities in the World according to People Magazine's list by April 2005.
  • Was listed by Forbes magazine as The Highest-Paid Female Athlete in the World in June 2005, with annual earnings of 18 million dollar U.S.
  • Was nominated for the 2005 Laureus World Sportswoman of the Year Awards.
  • Is often compared to Anna Kounikova , yet she rejects the comparison.
  • Was about to face Anna Kounikova in the semi-final of Sea Island Tournament in May 2003 when Kournikova finally pulled out before the match.
  • Entered the WTA world rankings at number 532 in 2002 and finished at number 186 by the end of the same year.
  • Was defeated by Justine Henin-Hardenne in the final of Siemens Women Tennis Trophy after holding eight match points!
  • Became the first Russian tennis player ever to win Grand Slam Wimbledon .
  • Her rank instantly leapt from #15 to #8 after winning Wimbledon in 2004.
  • When competed at Wimbledon Center Court on June 21, 2005, her loudest grunt reached 101.2 decibels, which is above the sound of a motorcycle or a lawnmower.
  • Wasn't included in Russian team at the Fed Cup as Anastasia Myskina threatened to have a boycott if she joined the team.

Her father, Youri Sharapov, had been criticized particularly by Myskina of his disruptive courtside behavior and his shouting of rude things against Maria's compatriots on the WTA Tour.




FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: uk.reuters.com

 
FACTBOX-Baseball woes: past and present
Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:12pm GMT
 

(Reuters) - Baseball's saga over performance-enhancing drugs was set for a potentially explosive episode on Wednesday when Roger Clemens and his former trainer testify before Congress over allegations the pitching great received injections of steroids.

The so-called steroid era is one of several crises in baseball history. Following are others to beset the sport.

* 1919 - The Black Sox: After the heavily favoured Chicago White Sox lost the 1919 World Series to the Cincinnati Reds, eight players were charged with being paid by gamblers to throw the championship. The scandal led to the creation of the autonomous post of commissioner of baseball, who banned the players, including superstar Shoeless Joe Jackson, for life.

* 1981 - Baseball Strike: A dispute between players and owners led to a strike that cancelled roughly a third of the games from a team's traditional 162-game schedule.

* 1985 - Pittsburgh Drug Trials: A grand jury in Pittsburgh called many of baseball's greatest stars -- including Keith Hernandez, Tim Raines, Vida Blue and Dave Parker -- to testify about cocaine use in baseball. Commissioner Peter Ueberroth suspended 11 players.

* 1989 - Pete Rose: Baseball's record-holder for hits, games played and at-bats accepted a lifetime ban from baseball in 1989 when, as manager of the Cincinnati Reds, he was accused of gambling on games in which his team was playing. He denied betting on baseball games for the next 15 years, then admitted doing so in his 2004 autobiography "My Prison Without Bars."

* 1994 - Baseball Strike: The Players Association and team owners locked horns over limits on how much each team could spend on their player payrolls. When the union rejected the salary cap, the league locked out the players in August, leading to the cancellation of the 1994 World Series.

* 2002 - Ken Caminiti's steroid use: In an interview with Sports Illustrated, one-time Most Valuable Player Ken Caminiti became the first baseball player to publicly admit to using steroids, which ultimately led to congressional investigations. Caminiti died in 2004, aged 41.

* 2003 - BALCO: In September, federal officials raided the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative, or BALCO, and said they found evidence of illegal steroids and growth hormones. Two days later, home of Barry Bonds' trainer Greg Anderson was searched, yielding lists of players and dosage plans. In November 2007, Bonds was indicted on accusations of lying to a grand jury investigating BALCO. He pleaded not guilty.