FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dailymail.co.uk

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SPORTS QUOTES

Sporting quotes of the week - 08 February 2008

"I won't get bitter and twisted because I am old enough and I have got enough respect for the manager to realise that if it does not happen, life goes on"
David Beckham speaking days before being axed by new England boss Fabio Capello

"It would very easy for me to sit here and try to find a way to hide behind those injuries for what happened in the second half but I am not going to do that" England head coach Brian Ashton refuses to make excuses for his side's incredible second-half collapse to Wales

"I rang her after the match and she said that when we were losing she went to the cemetery and prayed. She came out and we won! You know what mothers are like. It was all down to her!"
Wales assistant coach Shaun Edwards believes his mother Phyllis may have had a hand in Wales' extraordinary comeback. The game was played on what would have been his late brother's 25th birthday

"If you want to sleep, you don't become a football manager"
Reading boss Steve Coppell after his side's sixth straight Premier League defeat

"I was full of it, I wanted to cuddle everyone I could see!"
Fulham's Jimmy Bullard on hugging the ref after hitting the winner against

"The bottom line is that Steven Gerrard doesn't need to be England captain, but you get an extra 10 per cent from JT if he's in charge. I'm not saying John is less of a player when he's not captain" Former England boss Steve McClaren gets himself tied up in knots as he backs John Terry for the national team captaincy

"I'm sure he'll have a headache because I hit him with shots where his face was changing shape but he was still standing there"
Amir Khan is impressed by the durability of defeated opponent Gairy St Clair

"I thought Poulter was number two in the world"
Tiger Woods when asked about the gap between him and the real number two Phil Mickelson. Woods was responding to Poulter's comments in a magazine that he was Tiger's only serious rival

"It was like going to a new school. We were like schoolkids waiting to suck up all the information he's got"
Rio Ferdinand has done his homework on Fabio Capello

"I have reached journey's end" - Former Olympic sprint champion Maurice Greene after announcing his retirement.

"I don't think as a footballer you are scared of any manager but you have to respect them"
Steven Gerrard is not intimidated by new England boss Fabio Capello

"If you are asking me as an individual, would I be comfortable seeing Dwain Chambers in an Olympic vest, the answer is no," Lord Coe, chairman of the London 2012 Olympic organising committee on the controversial sprinter's relaunched athletics career.

"It is rugby all the way for the next eight weeks - and then I will be cramming in the revision"
Jamie Roberts on combining an international rugby career with a degree in medicine

"I threw the ball over the guy's head - end of story"
Jonny Wilkinson refuses to make excuses for the errant pass that contributed to England's Six Nations downfall against Wales

"A lot people have aches and pains - I had one or two before I got there!"
Munich air crash survivor Harry Gregg produces a lighter moment at the service which marked the 50th anniversary of the disaster

"If it hadn't been for the accident, United would certainly have won it that year. We were certainly up for it. There was no challenge too big for us. Fellow survivor Sir Bobby Charlton is in no doubt that United side would have gone on to lift the European Cup

"I was really nervous - I was just hiding it. I was thinking 'I don't want to go on', but the cheer I got from the people was a massive lift"
Lesley Vainikolo admits to nerves ahead of his England rugby union debut last weekend

"I'm just trying to catch up to my dad's number of goals for England. He thinks that I can't achieve it so I've got something to prove to him"
Shaun Wright-Phillips, who scored the winner at Wembley, wants the bragging rights over step-father Ian

Joe Calzaghe promises to end American veteran Bernard Hopkins' legendary career when the pair clash in Las Vegas
"This isn't Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama"
Hopkins refuses to retract his comments from December when he said "I will never let a white boy beat me"

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: independent.co.uk

EDDIE ARCARO ABOARD CITATION

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SPORTS QUOTES

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Eddie Arcaro US jockey
When a jockey retires he becomes just another little man.

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Buzzie Bavasi American baseball general manager
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.

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Tommy Docherty Scottish footballer and manager
George [Best] was a fantastic player and he would have been even better if he'd been able to pass nightclubs the way he passed the ball.

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Jay Leno American comedian
The US finally came up with an exit strategy. Unfortunately it's for the World Cup. (after the US soccer team were knocked out in the early stages of the World Cup)

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Gary Lineker English footballer
Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and, at the end, the Germans win.

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Andy Roddick American tennis player
Maybe I'll just punch him or something. (On how he might beat Roger Federer)

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: freewebs.com

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BASEBALL QUOTES
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"If Americans throw rice at weddings, do Chinese throw hot dogs?"
Larry Anderson
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"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
Yogi Berra
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"I like to be against the odds. I'm not afraid to be lonely at the top. With me, it's just the satisfaction of the game. Just performance." Barry Bonds
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"My whole philosophy is to broadcast the way a fan would broadcast."
Harry Caray
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"Oh, what difference does it make? I figure I had no business being here this long anyway, so what do you care how old I am? I've been on borrowed time for years. You know my old saying: live it up, the meter's running. I've always said that if you don't have fun while you're here, then it's your fault. You only get to do this once."
Harry Caray
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"It was as though I had my own tool bench out there with me."
Whitey Ford
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"I have a good feeling about this club. But that could be gas."
Mike Hargrove
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"I couldn't see well enough to play when I was a boy, so they gave me a special job: They made me an umpire." Harry S. Truman
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"I didn't come to New York to be a star. I brought my own star with me."
Reggie Jackson
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"Police have arrested the man who was pictured throwing snowballs at Giants Stadium. If convicted, he may face six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. If it turns out he was under the influence of alcohol or drugs, he'll be signed by the Yankees."
David Letterman
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"Don't compare me to Babe Ruth. God gave me the opportunity and the ability to be here at the right time, at the right moment, just like he gave Babe Ruth when he was playing. I just hope I can keep doing what I've been doing - keep taking care of business."
Sammy Sosa
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"It's a good thing Babe Ruth isn't here. If he was, George Steinbrenner would have him bat seventh and say he's overweight."
Graig Nettles
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My stuff was all right, but it's not about pitching good. It's about winning. I pitched just good enough to lose.
Greg Maddux
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"All good balls to hit are strikes, though not all strikes are good balls to hit." Dave Winfield

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tgckids.org

GOLF QUOTES

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Quotes of the Week - 07/07/2008

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"These are the longest days - it feels like a 38-hour day." -- Tiger Woods, describing on his Web site how boring his days are because of his inability to be active due to a full knee brace.

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“I am not going to say no." – women’s world No. 1 Lorena Ochoa, not ruling out a possible match-up against the men.

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"It has been a good month and a half for Spanish sports. I won THE PLAYERS Championship and (Rafa) Nadal won his fourth French Open. Spain’s footballers won Euro 2008 and (fellow Spaniard) Larrazabal won last week’s French Open." -- Sergio Garcia, telling Reuters about the pride his home currenty is currently enjoying. This before Rafa won the Wimbledon title on Sunday.

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"I think it’s downright stupid, actually.” -- Fred Funk, on Congressional's sixth hole, which was transformed from a par 5 to a 518-yard par 4 with a large water hazard guarding the right front of the green.

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"I got out there and I was shook. I was very, very nervous those first two weeks. It’s funny, non-tour friends of mine found that hard to believe, that I had played competitively my whole life and that I would be whacked-out going on to this new place. That just goes to show you the power of the brain. It became way too important." -- Joey Sindelar, on his recent venture onto the Champions Tour. He finished fourth this past weekend.

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"The hole was as big as a bucket." -- Ross Fisher, following his 9-under-par 63 in the first round of the European Open. He went on to win in wire-to-wire fashion.

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"He told me to just keep working hard and keep it up, and the sky’s the limit, and there’s no reason to stop now." -- Anthony Kim, on what was said from tournament host Tiger Woods following his victory in the AT&T National.

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"I had a dragonfly hit my shaft on the way down." -- Funk again, after a bogey that was caused by an insect malfunction that happened on a tee box.

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"You’re up against an absolute freak and that’s tough. But at the same time, he’s making us so much money it’s a joke. We can only be thankful for the way he’s played the game." -- Robert Allenby on playing in the Tiger Woods era.

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"I am very aware of it and I am concerned." -- Padraig Harrington, on his current low position on the European Ryder Cup point list.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: emmitsburg.net

SPORTS QUOTES

"I'm rich. What am I supposed to do, hide it?" - Detroit Tiger Lou Whitaker, arriving in a stretch limo for a players' union meeting during the 1994 baseball strike.
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"He's about the size of a lot of guys that size." - Offensive coordinator Gary Crowton, on QB Cade McNown
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"Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good." - Tom Watt, ex- Maple Leaves coach (his team was not so good)
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"He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual, too." - Don King, boxing promoter.
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"Then I was skinnier. I hit it better, I putted better, and I could see better. Other than that, everything is the same." - PGA Senior Tour player Homero Blancas.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: emmitsburg.net

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NFL FOOTBALL INSULTS

For all Philadelphia Eagles fans ...

Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A: The Philadelphia Eagles.

Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep a Philadelphia Eagle out of your yard?

A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Philadelphia in case of a tornado?

A: To the Eagles' home field - they never have a touchdown there!

Q: Why was Andy Reid upset when the Philadelphia Eagles play book was stolen?

A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill?

A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common?

A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road !