FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: rateitall.com

BOXING QUOTES MIKE TYSON: "Everybody's got plans...until they get hit."
"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."
"[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse.' I'm not a recluse."
"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm." "I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson!" "He was screaming like my wife." "Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!" "Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her." "All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."

---

Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: homepage.eircom.net

SPORTS QUOTES

We're not giving away any football players who could hurt us later. I don't mind people thinking I'm stupid, but I don't want to give them any proof.
- Bum Phillips, Houston Oilers coach

After all, if you remove the gambling, where is the fun in watching a bunch of horses being whipped by midgets?
- Ian O'Doherty, not a fan of horse racing, "The Irish Independent"

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
- Steven Wright

"The worst day of fishing beats the best day of working."
- Martin, "Frasier"

Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.
- Thomas Sowell

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
- PG Wodehouse

The number of shots taken by an opponent out of sight is equal to the square root of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
- Michael Green

---

Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: a-gamegolf.com

 

"Golf. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks."
- Author Unknown
Funny quote #2:               ******
"Show me a man with a great golf game, and I'll show you
a man who has been neglecting something."
- John F. Kennedy
David Feherty quote #1:******            
"Because I've already insulted everyone in Europe."
- David Feherty, when asked why he was moving to the U.S.
to work as a commentator.
David Feherty quote#1: ******  
"Pressure is playing for $10 when you don't have a dime in your pocket."
- Lee Trevino, this funny golf quote is a gem.
                                         ******
Gary McCord golf
"He dyed his hair black and grew a goatee. That's why he's
playing better, in my opinion."
- Gary McCord, speaking about P.G.A. Tour's Andrew Magee
                                          ******

"I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make."
- Seve Ballesteros, explaining to a sports writer, who
asked the question, "how did you manage to 4-putt
the 16th green?" after the 1986 Masters.
Lee Trevino golf quote.   ****** 
"You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask
my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of
their husbands work."
- Lee Trevino-                                 
David Feherty quote#2: ******
"Bumpy greens don't bother me anymore. Since I've become
an analyst, I don't see the problem."
- David Feherty
Just more funny quotes.        ******
"The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf."
- H. G. Wells 
                                         ******
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
- Mark Twain 
Funny golf quotes are here.  ******
"Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place,
but not much."
- Buddy Hackett
                                         ******
"Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't 
float too well."
- Craig Stadler
                                         ******
"I really don't enjoy playing this game at all anymore. You
would have to be a pervert to enjoy the sort of feelings that
I went through out there."
- David Feherty, after winning a European Tour event in 1987
                                         ******
"A caddie is someone who accompanies a golfer and didn't
see the ball either."
- Anonymous And

 more f                    .          ******

On being asked, before his final round, what he had to
shoot to win the tournament- "The rest of the field."
- Roger Maltbie 
                                         ******
"If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw
it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't waste
energy going back to pick it up."
- Tommy Bolt  
Funny golf 

---

Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: coolfunnyquotes.blogspot.com

If volleyball was easy it would be called football.

VolleyBall Life :
1. we can get it up in any position
2. our shorts are tighter than our game
3. we can handle a little floor burn every now and then
4. we're always gonna hit it hard
5. we'll play with you indoors or outdors
6. balls never hit the floor and we'll get a touch on all of them that come our way
7. we can play with 2 or 6 other people
8. we've got quick feet and quick hands
9. we like it quick hard and fast
10. and no matter what we gonna beat you up
…because volleyball is more than just a sport, it's a way of life……

---

Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape in the new year.