SPORTS QUOTES
Sports Rants by Dennis Miller
I view professional extreme athletes with, at worst, mild puzzlement and, at best, genuine respect. But what pisses me off are the amateur extreme athletes, who don't just risk their own lives -- they make some park ranger, fireman, or cop risk his life to save them. Every time I see a soldier who enlisted so he could defend his country, end up having to put his neck on the line, rappelling off a helicopter to save some middle-aged hero-wannabe jagoff who skied 20 miles off the clearly marked trail just so he can have a better pickup line than, "Hey, baby, your place or my moms?", I can't help but hope that just this one time, the kid from the National Guard is going to change his mind and chopper away to get a well-deserved beer, but not before getting just close enough to shout, "Hey, asshole, Charles Darwin says hi." -- Dennis Miller's rant from April 6th, 2001.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam "We're #1" finger. -- Dennis Miller 2001/03/09 rant
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[Re: masterbation] Let's just say that when I was 14, I was treated for tennis elbow and I didn't even own a fucking racket. [Audience laughs...] Let ye who has a free hand cast the first stone. -- Dennis Miller Live, HBO, 7/24/99
Thursday, July 24, 2008
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