FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: submityourarticle.com

BASEBALL QUOTES
Quotes by Tommy Lasorda, baseball manager
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"I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic. We have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all."
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"The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not theirs."
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"My wife tells me one day, 'I think you love baseball more than me.' I say, 'Well, I guess that's true, but hey, I love you more than football and hockey.'"
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"Guys ask me, don't I get burned out? How can you get burned out doing something you love? I ask you, have you ever got tired of kissing a pretty girl?"
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: secondrunning.com

HORSE RACING QUOTES
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Grantland Rice, Hall of Fame sports writer, reports
the match race between War Admiral and Seabiscuit
in Baltimore's Pimlico Special, 1938
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Click here to view ===> MATCH RACE
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bioquotes.com

SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes about games
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To play it safe is not to play. —Robert Altman
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Games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away. —Eric Berne
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Tennis is Ping-Pong played while standing on the table. —George Carlin
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All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy. —Maria Edgeworth
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I can’t believe that God plays dice with the universe. —Albert Einstein
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My work is a game, a very serious game. —M.C. Escher
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Love is a game that two can play and both win. —Eva Gabor
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Divorce is a game played by lawyers. —Cary Grant
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Baseball is the only game you can see on the radio. —Phil Hersh
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One of the first things a bridge player learns is to take it on the shin. —Kay Ingram
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The main thing is to care. Care very hard, even if it is only a game you are playing. —Billie Jean King
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Chess – the most elegant, mysterious and merciless of games. —Fritz Leiber
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It is in games that many men discover their paradise. —Robert Lynd
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In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play. —Friedrich Nietzsche
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The addicts to computer games are afflicted with rapture of the beep. —Jack M. Nilles
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In our play we reveal what kind of people we are. —Ovid
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For children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood. —Fred Rogers
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The game women play is men. —Adam Smith
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Men play the game; women know the score. —Roger Woddis
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: leapnow.net

Image: the-funneled-web.com

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GOLF QUOTES

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Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychologists have.

-Harvey Renick

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Retire to what? I’m a golfer and a fisherman. I’ve got no place to retire to!

-Julius Boros

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I don’t exaggerate. I just remember big.

-Chi Chi Rodriguez

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A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.

-Chi Chi Rodriguez

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My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

-Lee Trevino

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Golf fairways should be made more narrow. Then everyone would have to play from the rough, not just me.

-Seve Ballesteros

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Never break your putter and driver in the same round or you’re dead.

-Tommy Bolt

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My handicap? Woods and irons.

-Chris Codiroli

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Golf got complicated when I had to wear shoes and begin thinking about what I was doing.

-Sam Snead

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I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.

-Jim Dent

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The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

-Chi Chi Rodriguez

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Love and putting are mysteries for the philosopher to solve. Both subjects are beyond golfers.

-Tommy Armour

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: freerepublic.com

Image: theonion.com
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BASEBALL QUOTES
Survey quotes \ results on MLB players
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Survey says ... players pick best in baseball
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Click here to view ===> THE FEUD
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dennydavis.net

Image: gamespot.com
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GOLF QUOTES \ SAYINGS
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Golfer's prayer - Lord may I live long enough to shoot my age.
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A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
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Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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Golf is a game that was invented to punish those who retire early.
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A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
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The holes are numbered. (Jack Nicklaus, responding to the question 'You really know your way around a course. What's your secret?'
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I golf because the doctor told me to take 'iron' everyday.
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I golf because the doctor said to live on greens.
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If frustration and humiliation is your aim, then golf is your game.
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If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
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The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
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My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.
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Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. (Huxtable Pippey)
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The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
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There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces that are just the way you meant to play them.
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There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing? (Peter Andrews)
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When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
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You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 percent of the time.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quote.alphacoders.com

SAILING QUOTES
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There is a rule in sailing where the more maneuverable ship
should give way to the less maneuverable craft. I think this
is sometimes a good rule to follow in human relationships as well.
~Joyce Brothers
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I long for the solitude of a sunset at sea,
and the chill of the breeze
coming in with the eve.
For the motion of my boat,
as she swings on her rode,
and the beauty of the stars,
in the evenings last glow.
~R.C. Gibbons
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A ship in port is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
~Grace Murray Hopper
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If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and
don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for
the endless immensity of the sea.
~Antoine De Saint-Exupery
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quote.alphacoders.com

Image: bbc.co.uk
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BOXING QUOTES
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Once that bell rings you're on your own. It's just you and the other guy.
Joe E. Louis
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In the films the good guy always wins, but this is one bad guy who ain't gonna lose.
Sonny Liston
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There ain't nothing like being in the corner, and the trainer is whispering in your ear and another guy is putting in your mouthpiece. Five seconds to go, the boom! The bell. It's more exciting than looking down a cliff.
George Foreman
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Let the other guy have whatever he wants before the fight. Once the bell rings he's gonna be disappointed anyway.
George Foreman
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quote.alphacoders.com

BASKETBALL QUOTES
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You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world & I might be right.
Charles Barkley
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I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.
Charles Barkley
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I'm the NBA's best NFL player, and I've always been the sexiest 7-footer in the NBA - for 12 years running.
Shaquille O'Neal
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quote.alphacoders.com

Image: missdesaire.blogs.friendster.com
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GOLF QUOTES
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I do much of my creative thinking while golfing. If people know you're working at home they think nothing of walking in for a cup of coffee, but wouldn't dream of interrupting on the golf course.
Author: Harper Lee
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The three things I fear most in golf are lightning, Ben Hogan and a downhill putt.
Author: Sam Snead
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If I had my way, no man guilty of golf would be eligible to any office of trust under the United States.
Author: H. L. Mencken
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A golf course is the epitome of all that is transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.
Author: Jean Giraudoux
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Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy.
Author: Amy Strum Alcott
======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quote.alphacoders.com

Image: flissart.com
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AMERICAN FOOTBALL QUOTES
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First there are those who are winners, and know they are winners. Then there are the losers who know they are losers. Then there are those who are not winners, but don't know it. They're the ones for me. They never quit trying. They're the soul of our game.
Paul William "Bear" Bryant
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“When I went out on the field to warm up, I would manufacture things to make me mad. If someone on the other team was laughing, I'd pretend he was laughing at me or the Bears. It always worked for me."
Dick Butkus
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If I was smart enough to be a doctor, I'd be a doctor. I ain't, so I'm a football player.
Dick Butkus
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I'd write over and over, I will not throw into coverage.
Brett Favre
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We're always trying to find ways to lower interceptions and stuff. My nature, I'm aggressive. I'll take shots, I'll take chances; therefore, you have mistakes.
Brett Favre
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It's the hand we're dealt. We've put ourselves in this position, and we've got to find a way to get out of it.
Brett Favre
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