FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: golfdigest.com

GOLF QUOTES

U. S. Open Quotes

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"Bill, just give me one of those things you're advertising and I'll cut my throat." --Byron Nelson to radio announcer Bill Stern, whose broadcast was sponsored by Gillette razor blades, after the final round in 1946 at Canterbury. During the third round Nelson's caddie accidentally kicked his ball while ducking under a rope. The one-shot penalty dropped Nelson from the lead into a three-way playoff, won by Lloyd Mangrum.

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"Go ahead, Arnold, you're hot." --Billy Casper to Arnold Palmer on the 18th green at Olympic in 1966 after Palmer asked Casper if he should mark his ball. Palmer blew a seven-shot lead on the back nine and needed the short putt to tie Casper. Palmer made the putt, but Casper won the playoff.

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"My God, I've won the Open." --Ken Venturi after sinking the final putt at Congressional in 1964.
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"Nobody wins the Open. It wins you." --Cary Middlecoff after his 1956 victory at Oak Hill.
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"I would rather fight Sonny Liston than go through what I have to the next nine holes." --Gary Player, to Bobby Eaton, his 15-year-old local caddie, after he had moved into contention on the front nine during the final round of the 1963 Open at The Country Club.
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"No, we're trying to identify them." --Sandy Tatum, championship committee head, when asked if the USGA was trying to embarrass the world's best at Winged Foot in 1974 -- dubbed "The Massacre" by author Dick Schaap.
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"I'm glad I brought this course, this monster, to its knees." --Ben Hogan at the trophy presentation after his final-round 67 at Oakland Hills in 1951. The problem? Hogan probably never said these exact words. The sentence is a blending of several quips Hogan made after the round, which over time emerged as the legendary quote.

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"Eighty acres of corn and a few cows. Just because you cut the grass and put up flags doesn't mean you have a golf course." --Dave Hill to a reporter after the second round at Hazeltine National in 1970. The reporter asked Hill what the course -- a puzzling and unpopular selection -- lacked.

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"Nothing. You're too far back." --Bob Drum, sportswriter, responding to Arnold Palmer asking him what a final-round 65 would do for his chances of winning at Cherry Hills in 1960. Palmer shot 65 -- and won.

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"I am such an idiot." --Phil Mickelson after double-bogeying the 72nd hole at Winged Foot in 2006 to hand Geoff Ogilvy a one-shot victory.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tournaments.chessdom.com

CHEN SHAOHUA, DESIGNER OF WMSG LOGO

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WORLD MIND SPORTS GAMES

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Official logo for the First World Mind Sports Games is presented in Beijing (see above)

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The First World Mind Sports Games (WMSG) released its official logo. According to the official website it is a truelove knot which represents affinity, friendship, solidarity, communication, good luck as well as the traditional elements of China, the host of the 1st WMSG. The designer of the logo was Mr. Chen Shaohua (see above).

"The 1st World Mind Sports Games is an international comprehensive mind sports game, consisting of five mind sports of board and card games. The design of the logo is an important part of the publicity materials and draws the Organizing Committee’s great attentions," shared the organizers.

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Bridge, Chess, Go, Draughts and Chinese Chess are the five sports of the First World Mind Sports Games in Beijing, each represented with a color in the logo. It is estimated that close to 3000 participants will take part in the 2008 edition. The games are organized by The International Mind Sports Association (IMSA).
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World Mind Sports Games Quotes

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The presentation at the website of the World Mind Sports Games brings us interesting quotes about the represented sports. For Chess, Tarrasch, Voltaire, and Pushkin are quoted.

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Mind Sports entertain people most and chess is the best of them. Chess is pleasing as love and music.

Tarrasch

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Chess is the most important game which helps to develop intelligence.

Voltaire

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Chess is essential to every happy family.

Alexander Pushkin

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Bill Gates, however, goes with Bridge.
I am an avid player of Bridge which has unique characteristics as sport. Bill Gates

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: blog.sportscolumn.com

DANA WHITE

Image: i25.tinypic.com

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MIXED MARTIAL ARTS QUOTES

MMA Quotes by Dana White

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10. Hell, forget about college. I barely finished high school.

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9. I'm a guy that did exactly what he wanted to do. When you do that the money follows.

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8. Boxing is a road map of what not to do. The greedy promoters basically killed the sport by taking it off free TV.

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7. If you take four street corners, and on one they are playing baseball, on another they are playing basketball and on the other, street hockey. On the fourth corner, a fight breaks out. Where does the crowd go? They all go to the fight.

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6. The deal-closers are the live events. If you come to a live event, you leave that place done, you're hooked, you're in. It is the greatest live sporting event you will ever see.

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5. You show up at a [Los Angeles] Lakers game, you'll never meet Kobe Bryant. But when you show up to a UFC event, odds are pretty damn good that you're not only going to meet Liddell, but he's going to sign what you need signed and take a picture with you.

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4. A lot of times, kids go to college and take a major because they do what they think they're supposed to do. I told them I believe 90 percent of America gets up in the morning and drives to a job they hate. That could have happened to me in the hotel industry.

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3. That's one of the things when you go to a UFC event live, the energy in the place is crazy. People are there because they're passionate about it.

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2. It's really the last nail in the coffin with the media not giving us the credibility and not looking at us as a real sport. The cover of Sports Illustrated, the talk shows - we're there. We've finally arrived.

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1. People don't realise what gifted athletes these guys are. Think about how hard it is to become a professional boxer. These guys are without doubt the greatest athletes in the world.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: famous-quotes-and-quotations.com

TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES
Wilma Rudolph Quotes

1. "Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion. The potential for greatness lives within each of us."

2. "The triumph can't be had without the struggle. And I know what struggle is. I have spent a lifetime trying to share what it has meant to be a woman first in the world of sports so that other young women have a chance to reach their dreams."

3. "My doctors told me I would never walk again. My mother told me I would. I believed my mother."

4. "When I was going through my transition of being famous, I tried to ask God why was I here? What was my purpose? Surely, it wasn't just to win three gold medals. There has to be more to this life than that."

5. "My mother taught me very early to believe I could achieve any accomplishment I wanted to. The first was to walk without braces."

6. "I had a series of childhood illnesses; scarlet fever, pneumonia, polio. I walked with braces until I was at least nine years old. My life wasn't like the average person who grew up and decided to enter the world of sports."

7. "What do you do after you are world famous and nineteen or twenty and you have sat with prime ministers, kings and queens, the Pope? Do you go back home and take a job? What do you do to keep your sanity? You come back to the real world."

8. "It doesn't matter what you're trying to accomplish. It's all a matter of discipline. I was determined to discover what life held for me beyond the inner-city streets."

9. "No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helps you."

10. "Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."

For someone who was never supposed to walk again, winning three Olympic gold medals was quite the accomplishment. More impressive, though, was the person Wilma Rudolph continued to be through all the fame and all the attention.

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: ewsquotes.com

BASEBALL QUOTES

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When I played ball, I didn’t play for fun. . . . It’s no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It’s a contest and everything that implies, a struggle for supremacy, a survival of the fittest. - Ty Cobb
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When they operated, I told them to put in a Koufax fastball. They did—but it was Mrs. Koufax’s. - Tommy John
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Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch. - Reggie Jackson
(ed.'s note: Referring to pitcher Nolan Ryan)
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I struck out with two men on base. I was so angry, so frustrated, I turned and without even thinking about it, snapped my bat over my thigh. The bat split right in half. Afterward, reporters asked me if it was the first time I’d ever broken a bat over my thigh. “I broke an aluminum bat over my knee in college,” I said. (I was just kidding). - Bo Jackson
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There’s nothing wrong with the Little League World Series that locking out the adults couldn’t cure. - Mike Penner

FUNNY SPORT S QUOTES \ Source: deathofdebt.com

SPORTS QUOTES

I have observed that baseball is not unlike war, and when you get right down to it, we batters are the heavy artillery. Ty Cobb

I celebrate a victory when I start walking off the field. By the time I get to the locker room, I'm done. Tom Osborne

The Six W's: Work will win when wishing won't. Todd Blackledge

The sun doesn't shine on the same dog's butt every day but we sure didn't expect a total eclipse. Steve Sloan

It's a very bad thing to become accustomed to good luck. Publilius Syrus

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. F. D. Roosevelt

It ain't what you eat but how you chew it. Delbert McClinton

A life of frustration is inevitable for any coach whose main enjoyment is winning. Chuck Noll

Either love your players or get out of coaching. Bobby Dodd

This is a game to be savored, not gulped. There's time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings. Bill Veeck

In a crisis, don't hide behind anything or anybody. They are going to find you anyway. Bear Bryant

It is how you show up at the showdown that counts. Homer Norton

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bleacherreport.com

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HOCKEY QUOTES

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Top 10.
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1972 Summit Series Canada-Russia:
Arriving in their Hotel in Russia, the Canadian team was convinced that their room had been bugged.
"We searched the room for microphones, said Phil Esposito.
"In the center of the room, we have found a funny-looking metal embedded in the floor. We figured we had found the bug. We dug it out and heard a crash beneath us. We had released the anchor to the chandelier in the ceiling below."
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Wayne Gretzky's mother and her curtains:
Walter Gretzky (father) always wanted to save money for hockey equipments and such. Once, his mother said that she needed a new pair of curtains.
Wayne Gretzky remembers his Father saying "Hang a couple of sheets up. We gotta get Wayne a new pair of skates."
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Don Cherry vs. Phil Esposito:
Phil Esposito was called into the office of Boston Bruins' Don Cherry. The coach announced that Esposito was going to be traded to another team.
Esposito replied "Okay, but if you say New York Rangers, I am going to jump out that window."
Then, Don Cherry looked at his assistant, "Bobby, open the window."
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Don Cherry: Be careful what you wish for:
Don Cherry, "When I was a kid, I used to pray the Lord to make me a Hockey player. But I forgot to mention the NHL, so I spent 16 years in the minors!"
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Bobby Orr and his "thinking":
Orr was once asked why did he have a protective cup, but not a helmet.
Orr's response: "I can always get someone else to do my thinking for me!"
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Bill Houlder vs. Mario Lemieux:
As a rookie defense-man, Houlder saw Mario Lemieux on a one-on-one against him.
"I kept seeing his arms going back and forth, moving the puck down by my feet.
I was thinking, 'That puck's got to be right down there...When I finally looked down, my feet were weaving so badly that I fell flat on my backside"
However, Lemieux did not score since Houlder fell right on the puck! Later, Lemieux came to him, "Sorry about that kid".
Houdler's response: "That's all right. I don't think you'll have to worry about seeing me out there too much more tonight."
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Is Gary Bettman really the man for the job?
When he has been assigned as a commissioner for the NHL, his former NBA colleagues were worrying that Bettman would not have enough Hockey experience for the job.
Orlando Magic Pat Williams once joked: "I gave Gary a Hockey puck once, and he spent the rest of the day trying to open it!"
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The Stanley Cup being mistreated!
The Montreal Canadiens (1993 edition) and the Pittsburgh Penguins (1991 edition) had the idea of putting the puck in Mario Lemieux and Patrick Roy's respective pool. The diagnosis: "The cup does not float", answers Guy Carbonneau.
That is apparently how Dominik Hasek had his days with the cup cut short for trying to do the same.
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Wayne Cashman's celebrations:
After the Boston Bruins won the Cup in 1970, there were citywide celebrations. Wayne Cashman felt like he would be needed to help at an intersection, which however turned out worse, gathering even more traffic.
When the police arrived, Cashman refused to leave his post, feeling unappreciated. Cashman was eventually arrested that night.
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A little embarrassing moment:
Dave Hanson vs. Bobby Hull in the WHA. "In the middle of the melee we both stopped," recalled Hanson. "I look up and Bobby does not look the same as when we started. I look at my hand and I had just pulled off his toupee!"
"I was a bit shocked. I threw it on the ice."

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dallasstarschat.com

Image: barnesandnoble.com

HOCKEY QUOTES
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'Biologically, I'm 10. Chronologically I'm 33. In hockey years, I'm 66.' Mark Messier 1994
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I'm the luckiest man alive. I don't even like the game and I'm successful at it."
Brett Hull.
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Which team gives you the most trouble?"
"The New York Rangers." - New York Rangers goalie Gump Worsley
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"Winning DOES solve everything."
Colorado Avalanche's Joe Sakie

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: espn.go.com

BASEBALL QUOTES

Say Hey Said

Quotes by Willie Mays

"Baseball is a game, yes. It is also a business. But what it most truly is is disguised combat. For all its gentility, its almost leisurely pace, baseball is violence under wraps."--Quoted in "Willie Mays" by Arnold Hano

"Don't get me wrong, I like to hit. But there's nothing like getting out there in the outfield, running after a ball and throwing somebody out trying to take that extra base. That's real fun."--Quoted in "The Sporting News" on April 20, 1955

"I don't compare 'em, I just catch 'em."--When asked which of his catches was his greatest

"They throw the ball, I hit it; they hit the ball, I catch it."--On his formula for success in baseball, widely quoted

"When you catch a ball high, head high or higher and have to make a throw afterwards, what do you do? You have to bring the ball down before you can get it away."But when you catch the ball as I do you are in position to get rid of it right now without any delay."--On making his famous "basket" catches, quoted by Sec Taylor in "Baseball Digest"

Quotes about Mays

"If somebody came up and hit .450, stole 100 bases, and performed a miracle in the field everyday I'd still look you in the eye and say Willie was better. He could do the five things you have to do to be a superstar: hit, hit with power, run, throw and field. And he had that other magic ingredient that turns a superstar into a super superstar. He lit up the room when he came in. He was a joy to be around."--By Leo Durocher, quoted in "Grand Slams and Fumbles" by Peter Beilenson

"It was his solemn duty to catch a ball that wasn't in the stands."--By Monte Irvin, 1981

"The ball came down in Utica. I know. I was managing there at the time."--Lefty Gomez on a homer Mays hit off Warren Spahn

"He was something like 0 for 21 the first time I saw him. His first major league hit was a home run off me--and I'll never forgive myself. We might have gotten rid of Willie forever if I'd only struck him out."--By Warren Spahn (ed. note: Mays was 0-for-12 when he face Spahn for the first time.)

"The last time Willie Mays dropped a pop fly he had a rattle in one hand and a bonnet on his head."--By Jim Murray