FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: asylum.com

OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
Snowboarder Graham Watanabe presents quotes about himself and the Winter Olympics
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Related topic: snowboarding
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Click here to view ===> OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: ricestandard.org

Image: 25yearsofbaseball.com

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SPORTS HUMOR

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Excerpt from source:
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"I’ve realized that there’s a lot of sporting things we say we’re going to do at one point in our lives and never do, and it can be depressing. So, to counter the fact that we’ll never go see the Houston Texans in the Super Bowl or cheer on Zimbabwe in the Cricket World Cup, I’ve created a list of 61 things we can do. "
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"Now, no one will do every single one of these, but if you can accumulate 150 points, that’s a pretty successful life."
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End of excerpt.
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS HUMOR
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nypost.com

SPORTS QUOTES
Web site lists it choices of the best sports comedy quotes.
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS COMEDY QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: aaaugh.com

SPORTS QUOTES
Web site presents sports quotes from the year 1995.
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George Foreman, when asked whether he worries about brain damage:
"Anybody going into boxing already has brain damage."
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Jim Riggleman, new manager of the Chicago Cubs:
I try to have respect for people in general, whether it's baseball players or low lifes like the media."
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: chicagomaroon.com

Image: inages.fanpop.com

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SPORTS QUOTES

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"I had Charlotte, or the Dairy Queen in Sheboygan Falls."
Joe Wolf, on signing with the Hornets
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"It’ll be fat on fat. If we rub against each other the wrong way, we’ll start a grease fire."
Nate Newton, on playing against William “The Fridge” Perry
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: topcultured.com

GUO JINGJING, DIVER

Image: madelin.files.wordpress.com

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SPORTS PICTORIAL \ TRIVIA

Web site presents its choices for the sexiest female athletes in offbeat sports

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Editor's note:

Web site uses offbeat to describe sports that get less than 10% of daily sports media coverage.

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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"

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Click here to view ===> FEMALE ATHLETES FROM OFFBEAT SPORTS

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: football.fanhouse.co.uk

NOW WHAT???

Image: images.imangine.com

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SOCCER QUOTES

Web site presents quotes from World Cup 2010 athletes and coaches

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"I hope he has a temper tantrum, has a swing at someone and gets thrown out. I would love to see him act like a baby."
- Former USA star Alexei Lalas hopes Wayne Rooney will spontaneously combust on Saturday.

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"If it is necessary to play dirty to win, we will do it."
- Luis Fabiano is making no Samba Soccer promises on Brazil's behalf now Dunga is in charge.

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Click here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: wellsphere.com

Image: thecomebackgirl.com

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HEALTH AND FITNESS QUOTES

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“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
~ Buddy Hackett
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“As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.”
~ Joan Gussow
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Click here to view ===> HEALTH AND FITNESS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: dailycomedy.com

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GOLF QUOTES \ HUMOR

Web site presents nearly 1,000 jokes (with a few videos) about Tiger's socializing proclivitiies

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Here's a reminder before the fireworks start:

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Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people.

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Source: Angela Carter \ whatquote.com

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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"

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CAUTION: The web link below contains adult humor.

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Click here to view ===> WOULD TIGER? YOU DOGGONE BETCHA!!!

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Source: dailycomedy.com

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And please remember the other perspective of this post,

said best in the following quote:

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Sports is human life in microcosm.

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Howard Cosell

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Source: quotations.about.com

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: questia.com

Image: members.pioneer.net
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BASEBALL QUOTES
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Quoting Baseball: The Intellectual Take on Our National Pastime.
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Author: Skip McAfee
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-------------Excerpt follows:
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Journalist and humorist Kin Hubbard:
"Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler."
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--------------Excerpt ends
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F. Scott Fitzgerald claimed that baseball was "a game played by idiots for morons." (1)
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In this paper I will examine the views of the intelligentsia--erudite, "cultured," but nonbaseball individuals, including prominent artists, historians, scientists, statesmen, educators, philosophers, humorists, novelists--as they interpret what baseball is all about.
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We all know about Twain's observation of the "drive and push and rush" of baseball in the "raging" nineteenth century, and Longfellow's rage for "ball, ball, ball" that can rid Bowdoin students of their "torpitude," and Whitman's "hurrah game" that fills our lungs with oxygen. (2)
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But Whitman also had his reservations. In a discussion with his friend Tom Harned in 1889, Whitman asked: "Is it the rule that the fellow who pitches the ball aims to pitch it in such a way the batter cannot hit it? Gives it a twist--what not--so it slides off, or won't be struck fairly?" On Tom's affirmative Whitman denounced the custom roundly: "The wolf, the snake, the cur, the sneak, all seem entered into the modern sportsman--though I ought not to say that, for the snake is snake because he is born so, and man the snake for other reasons, it may be said." (3)
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This is reminiscent of Charles William Eliot, president of Harvard, on why he wished to drop baseball as a college sport: "Well, this year I'm told the team did well because one pitcher had a fine curve ball. I understand that a curve ball is thrown with a deliberate attempt to deceive. Surely this is not an ability we should want to foster at Harvard." (4)
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"It is impossible to understand America without a thorough knowledge of baseball."
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No, that's not Jacques Barzun, but artist Saul Steinberg, who wrote: "Baseball is an allegorical play about America, a poetic, complex, and subtle play of courage, fear, good luck, mistakes, patience about fate, and sober self-esteem." (5)
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"Anyone who does not understand the game cannot hope to understand the country." No, again not Barzun, but George Grella, University of Rochester English professor, who wrote: "In its theory and practice baseball embodies some of the central preoccupations of that cultural fantasy we like to think of as the American Dream."
(6)
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This is what Barzun should have written: "Whoever wants to know the heart and mind and greed and selfishness of America had better learn baseball." (7)
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What cultured American wrote the following?
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I've gotten so disgusted with baseball, I don't follow it anymore. I just see the headlines and turn my head away in shame from what we have done with our most interesting game and best, healthiest pastime. The commercialization is beyond anything that was ever thought of.
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Other things are similarly commercialized and out of proportion. But for baseball, which is so intimately connected with the nation's spirit and tradition, it's a disaster.
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Answer: Jacques Barzun. (8)
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And back to President Eliot in the 1880s: "I think baseball is a wretched game.... I call it one of the worst games, although I know it is called the American national game." (9)
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Gore Vidal's father, Gene, a pioneer aviator: "Baseball is the favorite American sport because it's so slow. Any idiot can follow it. And just about any idiot can play it." (10)
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Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Teddy Roosevelt's daughter: "Father and all of us regarded baseball as a mollycoddle game. Tennis, football, lacrosse, boxing, polo, yes: they are violent which appealed to us. But baseball? Father wouldn't watch it, not even at Harvard." (11)
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Journalist and humorist Kin Hubbard: "Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler." (12)
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Television critic Marshall McLuhan: "Baseball will always remain a symbol of the era of the hot mommas, jazz babies ... and the fast buck." (13)
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Vannevar Bush, prominent scientist: "Is baseball a scientific game? It certainly is not. It probably never will be. In fact, if it became fully analyzed, it would probably destroy itself." (14) This must be startling news for sabermetricians.
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Feminist Germaine Greer commented that numbers don't matter in baseball, and catchers have as much brainpower as a radish. (15)
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A New York Times editorialist in 1881: "Our experience with the national game of base ball has been sufficiently thorough to convince us that it was in the beginning a sport unworthy of men and that it is now, in its fully developed state, unworthy of gentlemen." (16)
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: squidoo.com

Image: teamjesp.files.wordpress.com
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SPORTS INSULTS
Web site presents sports insults / smack talk 1o1 for fantasy sports players.
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Related topics: Trash talking, Putdowns, Heckling, Comebacks
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Excerpt from site's blog:
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A lot of fantasy leagues are work leagues. If you're in a work league you can add office rivalry to your smack talk arsenal. Here are a few examples to get started:

"How come the IT guys have time to send out 50 lame trade offers a day but it takes them a month to fix a PC?"

"If the sales guys would sell stuff instead of checking their fantasy roster all day, this company might turn a profit."

"Wow, those accounting guys and their fantasy stats spreadsheets are pretty impressive...too bad they forgot a column for bye week."
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----- End of excerpt ------
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS INSULTS (INCLUDES YOUTUBE VIDEO)
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: articles.mcall.com

OFFICIATING QUOTES
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Related topics: Umpiring, Refereeing, Sports judging
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Noteable Quotes About Officiating
January 17, 1988
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- "Kill Him! He doesn't have any friends."
Traditional cry that greeted umpires in the early days of baseball. After World War I, it was shortened to "Kill the umpire!"
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- "Umpiring's tough . . . you're always half wrong."
Comment from New York Yankee broadcaster Bill White during a rhubarb in a Yankees-Milwau kee Brewers game.
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- "I immediately got the feeling that I was wrong on the call when every Baltimore guy in the field charged me with intent to maim. Actually, I never saw the ball, but I had to call something. I figured I have a 50-50 chance of being right."
Former American League umpire Ron Luciano about a blown home run call.

- "Holding penalties - you can call one on every play, but the officials don't. And they never call back-to-back holding calls against the same team. That's why, when your team is called for holding, everyone holds again on the next play - because it won't be called. Hell, we teach that on the sandlots down south."
Al Darrow, head coach of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the Canadian Football League.

- "You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can't talk to officials. In the next war, they ought to give everybody a whistle."
Abe Lemons, former Texas basketball coach.

- "Referees let Bob Pettit take a whole bunch of little steps just before he shot the ball. I protested Pettit's steps one night and a referee just laughed and said 'Well, maybe he was walking, but he didn't go very far."'
Bill Russell in his book "Second Wind."

- "As long as they don't question the umpire's integrity or imply that he was drunk, I take no action."
American League president Lee McPhail.

"Officiating is the only occupation in the world where the highest accolade is silence"
NBA referee Earl Strom.

- "Decision of the judges will be final unless shouted down by an overwhelming majority of the crowd present."
Addenda to a rules of the first open boomerang tournament.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: footballfancast.com

Image: rlv.zcache.com
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SOCCER QUOTES
Web site presents top ten soccer manager quotes of 2010
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Clicxk here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quotesquotations.com

CRICKET QUOTES
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Batting is a trial before an 11-man jury.
- Richie Benaud
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Sunny. Don’t get out first ball. It’s a long way back to the pavilion
– Farukh Engineer advising Sunil Gavaskar
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Click here to view ===> CRICKET QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: notanothershank.com

Image: natallison.com

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TENNIS HUMOR \ SLANG \ QUOTES

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For those novice players who don’t want to look lost on the court, here is a list of commonly used tennis slang:

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Dirtballer - clay court specialist

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Double bagel - winning or losing a set 6-0, 6-0

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Click here to view ===> TENNIS SLANG

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: e-bookscompare.com
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DIET QUOTES
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Related topics: Health, Fitness
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Part I: Diet Quotes
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"Dieting: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer."
~~ Jan Murray
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"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
~~ Jim Davis, "Garfield"
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Click here to view ===> DIET QUOTES I
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Source: foodreference.com
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Part II: Bonus Diet Quotes
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"Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet."
~~ Dan Bennett
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"The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books—how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook."
~~ Andy Rooney
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Click here to view ===> BONUS DIET QUOTES
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Source: grinningplanet.com
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