FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: benstillermovies.info

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GOLF QUOTES \ HUMOR

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Plot Summary for the Golf Movie Happy Gilmore:

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Happy Gilmore is a rowdy boy, who was raised by his grandmother. He wants to be a hockey player but isn't because of one thing, he can't skate.
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When his grandmother's house is foreclosed cause of her failure to pay her taxes, and she's placed in a retirement home, Happy must try and find a way to make some money. One day while at a driving range, he discovers that he can hit a golf ball a hundred feet, so the range pro, convinces him to try being a pro golfer.
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Reluctant at first, because he considers himself a hockey player, but when he learns he can make a lot of money, he gives it a try and surprisingly, in addition to his amazing driving ability, his antics have made him the darling of the crowd.
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Shooter McGavin the tournament leader, thinks that Happy's an embarrassment and is jealous that he is stealing his spotlight, tries to get him thrown out or get him to quit.
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Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com
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Happy Gilmore Movie Trailer:
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Click here to view ===> HAPPY GILMORE TRAILER
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Happy Gilmore Movie Quotes:
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Happy Gilmore: Where are you going with those clubs, punk?
[pushes young caddy to the ground]

Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Mr. Gilmore, I'm your caddy!

Happy Gilmore: Oh, I'm sorry about that. Let me carry these, alright, they were my grandfather's, they're pretty old.

Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Well, what should I do then?

Happy Gilmore: I don't know. Why don't you just watch me, and make sure I don't do anything stupid. Okay?

Starter #1: Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty will be teeing off now.

Happy Gilmore: Alright, good luck, buddy.

Happy's Waterbury Caddy: Get out the way.
[crowd laughs]

Happy Gilmore: [to caddy] Where were you on that one, dipshit?
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Click here to view ===> MOVIE QUOTES
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Source: imdb.com
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Video source: youtube.com
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Bonus entry: Golf Slang
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The blogger's presentation begins here:
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Sure, there’s probably a lot of slang out there that we haven’t heard but it’s safe to say, we’ve heard our share of comments, jabs and otherwise general golf course smack talk. Here are our thoughts on what’s good, what’s bad and what’s just plain ugly (and not in that particular order).
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The Please Stop:
These include the old, the tired, the lame and just general golf sayings we’d be happy to never hear again:
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•Let the big dog eat – 1989 called. It wants its Ping Eye 2 persimmon woods back. Plus, rolling one up to the 150 marker on a 300 yard hole is not “letting the big dog eat”.
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•Go in the hole! – Yes, please continue to yell this lame old tidbit at every swing Tiger takes between now and the end of time. Seriously. Security! Please remove this oaf from the premises.
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•Members bounce – ah yes, a good bounce is a ‘members’ bounce! Hilarious! Yeah…not really. .
•Beach – that’s the best we’ve come up with for a large collection of sand? A beach? Again, uninspired and lame.
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•Snowman – Ok, an 8 looks like a cute little snowman. Enough with the Sesame Street humor. .
•I’ve seen a better swing on a set of dog’s balls – now that’s a quality, well thought out jab at a crappy golf swing. Bravo. 10 pts for originality and grossness!
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•The Condom – safe but didn’t feel very good.
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•Run like an open sore! – kinda gross, kinda clever…it’s a keeper!
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•Junior Prom – all lip and no hole. Yes, we know…..another classy one.
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The Good:
These include the clever, the interesting and the unique and they represent a new breed of golf slang:
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•Beat it Like a Rented Mule! – good advice for one’s playing partner while standing on the tee of a reachable par 5.
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•More Rudder Right! – or left, depending on the situation but after a playing partner launches one towards the tree tops, a quick “more rudder right” can be pretty funny.
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•I hope my swinging doesn’t bother your talking! – pretty self explanatory and can easily get the the chatter to stop.
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•Get it Close! – must be used at the appropriate time i.e., when your playing partner pretty much as a gimme putt but feels the need to mark and line it up like it’s a putt for the US Open trophy.
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•I don’t even go that far on vacation! – to be used only after you’ve out-driven the entire group.
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•Cuban – a putt left short but needed “one more revolution”. Get it? One more revolution? Pretty funny…
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•Osama Bin Laden – going from one bunker to another. Again, mildly amusing and a keeper.
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•Bill O’ Reilly – a tee shot that is right of right.
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Source: downlowtooslow.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: shoping-advices.com

Image: ioffer.com

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FOOTBALL QUOTES

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Knute Rockne Quotes

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“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.”

“It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it.”

“One loss is good for the soul, too many losses is not good fpr the coach.”
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Click here to view ===> KNUTE ROCKNE QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: irishexaminer.com

Image: andypacino.com

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SOCCER QUOTES

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Top Ten Soccer Quotes of 2010

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"You know when you’ve got a noisy neighbour and they keep the radio on all the time? You can complain to the council, you can bang on their wall, you can go to their door, but they still keep their music on. So what do you do? You get used to it."
— Another one for the Alex Ferguson annals but Man City still have the volume up.
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"In the first half we were like the Dog and Duck, in the second half we were like Real Madrid. One minute I was pulling pints and collecting subs, the next I was on a luxury coach. At full time I was at them like an irritated Jack Russell who can’t quite get the mutt out of the hole — and they deserved that."
— Ian Holloway is more than welcome to stay in the Premier League as long as he wants.
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Click here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: community.elearners.com

Image: 123nonstop.com

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SPORTS TRIVIA

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7 College Athletes Who Became Celebrities

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Click here to view ===> COLLEGE ATHLETES WHO BECAME CELEBRITIES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: thehockeynews.com

Image: 123nonstop.com

HOCKEY QUOTES

Website presents its 10 top hockey quotes of 2010

“He was yelling pretty urgently. There’s different pitches of yell and he was screaming.” Jarome Iginla on Sidney Crosby calling for the puck prior to scoring the overtime game-winner in the gold medal game at the 2010 Olympics.

Click here to view ===> TOP TEN HOCKEY QUOTES 2010

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: espn.co.uk

Image: dietsexplained.files.wordpress.com

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SPORTS QUOTES

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"To lose two tournaments in a row 6-0 6-1, 6-0 6-0, it's really to scratch the head and to think what the hell am I doing?"
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For us, the answer is simple - Dinara Safina should stop prolonging the inevitable and just open up a bagel shop
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: squidoo.com

Image: cafepress.com
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EXERCISE QUOTES
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Click here to view ===> EXERCISE QUOTES ON T-SHIRTS
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: funnybaseballcards.tumblr.com

Image: shoponline2011.com

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BASEBALL HUMOR \ TRIVIA

Blogger presents, along with humorous comments, sports cards from his collection.

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Funny Baseball Cards

Hey, I'm Dave, and this blog is about my expensive scraps of cardboard.

Background Check

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Angels in the Outfield

I’ve heard that Billy was unaware the photographer was lining him up under the halo at Angel Stadium, but that’s probably just as well… I think he played second backup outfielder, so this card may be the most famous aspect of his career.
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200th Post!

I know what you’re thinking: “He’s no Goose Gossage!”


The back reads: “When his days of playing chicken are over, his ambition he says is to get into managing… probably a pizza parlor.”

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A Match Made in Heaven

Johnson & Wood… perhaps not as good as Bong & Puffer, but still admirable.

Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang

Tang was injured after an opposing pitcher accidentally hit him in the face with the ball while he was sliding into second, fracturing several bones and requiring surgery. But now he gets to wear a cool mask!

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Napoleon Complex

Fleer later clarified that Hrabosky was not a dwarf.

Cigarettes, rams?

There’s actually another Brett Butts potentially making his rounds to the bigs as well.

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Future Astro?

“Every male in my family has a first name that starts with H. I guess they were running out of possibilities, so I was named Houston.”

— Houston Summers

Keep in mind, this is not the R&B singer of the same name who gouged out his own eye with a fork after unsuccessfully attempting to leap out of a hotel window. Different guy.

Finally, a Legible Signature!

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Dropping A Duce

Useful Trivia: In early 2006, Duce filed a police report saying he lost a bracelet that may have been worth around $100,000 at a strip club in S.C. one Saturday morning.

… We’ve all been there, right?!

It's My Party

Sad day…

But let us not forget this one of Glenn’s.

Nerdy Glasses and Mustaches: Round Two

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Some of you may remember a little side-collection I posted back in 2009. Well, I’ve added quite a bit more to it since, and Round Three is still to come!

Ken “Digger” Phelps later became a color commentator for the Diamondbacks… but try not to confuse him with fellow sports analyst “Digger” Phelps.

Adrian is now a gym teacher at a middle school in Georgia.

Tom would sometimes secretly trade uniforms with his twin brother Tim while the two were in spring training for the Tigers.

Paul used to stare down every batter he struck out.

Greg’s nickname was “Pee Wee!”

The Braves later traded Craig to Toronto for Luis Leal, but neither player ended up playing a single game for their new teams

Tony’s daughter was a beauty queen.

“Wilson owned and operated a gas station in Conroe, Texas north of Houston. He was once famously told that he needed to improve his mechanics (meaning baseball skills) and replied by saying, ‘Why, I just gave all [of my] mechanics a raise!
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Voodoos and Cocks

Fun Fact: There existed a long-running urban legend that Pedro put a voodoo hex on the Reds after they traded him in ‘79.

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: thefastertimes.com

Image: shoponline2011.com

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SPORTS QUOTES \ TRIVIA

Blogger presents recollections of Rev. Martin Luther King's sports

abilities and fondness for sports events and celebrities.

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Martin Luther King: Sports Fan and Playground Athlete
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It’s a big weekend in the sports world, with four NFL playoff games the marquee events, and we’re no doubt going to be reminded, in game telecast after game telecast, that it’s also a big weekend for the world at large — three days big, with Monday being Martin Luther King Day.

But that’s not the only connection between sports and Dr. King.

A year ago at this time I read a fascinating piece at AOL FanHouse by Terence Moore that has stayed with me. It delved into what Moore called the “hidden” side of MLK, which is an accurate description because while I’ve read a lot about King over the years, I did not know this: that he was a lifelong athlete and sports fan.
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The story relies heavily on the remembrances of Andrew Young, a friend and associate of King’s who went on to be mayor of Atlanta, a Congressman and US ambassador to the United Nations.
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Here’s Young on the reverend as a basketball player: “Martin was small, but he always wanted to play under the basket. He was very quick, and he could shoot with either hand, and so he had a lot of quick moves. He could fake you to the left or to the right, because he could dribble with either hand. He also had a little fallaway jump shot, which for somebody his size — it was always successful, because it was such a surprise.”
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On King’s favorite participatory sport: “We all liked sports, Martin and the rest of us, because you had to when you grew up in Atlanta on Auburn Avenue.
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He was good at sports. I mean, he could run, and he could shoot pool. Anything you learned at the YMCA, he did very well.
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But the one sport that was the family sport for all of us was swimming. Herman Russell [a local Atlanta entrepreneur] had a pool at his house, and after Martin got a little too well known, we’d go over to Herman’s house and swim in his pool.”

On MLK’s use of sports to further his civil right case at a 1961 demonstration in Albany, Ga.: “We realized that Jackie Robinson was from Cairo, Ga., which was in the next county over from Albany, and there were some churches burned down there.
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So Martin called Jackie , and he came down to visit us, and he also came with us to St. Augustine, Fla. That was very significant.
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See, you have to remember that the three people who sort of defined our sports life were Jesse Owens, Joe Louis and Jackie Robinson, and most of the guys in the movement, well, we were all huge into sports.”
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Editor's note:
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As a sports fan, I have to admit I learned for the first time from the
blogger's post that the civil rights leader, Rev. Martin Luther King,
had more than a political interest in sports - he actually participated
in and enjoyed sports as much as all sports enthusiasts have
participated in and enjoyed the world of sports during their lives.
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Clearly, sports touch fans in every way, form and fashion, making,
in its own way, an impact on the lives of us all.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: mi-vox.com
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CRICKET QUOTES \ HUMOR \ TRIVIA
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Excerpt from the source:
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In Edwardian times, it was as common for literary London to meet at the batting crease as in the reading room. Conan Doyle, who used to hold a cricket week at home in Hindhead, was an accomplished batsman, and his protege, PG Wodehouse a useful medium-fast right arm bowler.
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End of excerpt
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Click here to view ===> CRICKET ON THE SERIOUS SIDE.
Source: guardian.co.uk
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Image: sowetanlive.co.za
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Bonus entry: Another side of cricket
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"A stint in rehab for alcohol abuse and a messy divorce would be more than enough controversy for most professional athletes, but, with me, that wasn't the half of it."
-- Herschelle Gibbs
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Click here to view ===> CRICKET FROM THE SEAMY SIDE
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Source: timeslive.co.uk
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: grassrootsmotorsports.com

Image: waterrow.org.uk

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AUTOMOBILE RACING QUOTE

Web site presents 3 pages of quotes from a motor sports forum.

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Related topics: car racing, motor sports, race cars

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The ideal racecar will expire 100 yards past the finish line.
- Stirling Moss
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Guys, you can date whomever you want, but marry a girl who can back up a trailer.
- Michael Martin Murphy
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Click here to view ===> AUTOMOBILE RACING QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: the-football-club.com

Image: epltalk.com

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SOCCER QUOTES

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"Ian Rush, deadly ten times out of ten, but that wasn't one of them."
Peter Jones
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"He hit the post, and after the game people will say, well, he hit the post."
Jimmy Greaves
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"I think you and the referee were in a minority of one, Billy."
Jimmy Armfield
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Click here to view ===> SOCCER QUOTES

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: weeville.com

Image: metrostarusa.com
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RODEO \ COWBOY QUOTES
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*Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got!

*If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.

*Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is
probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

*Only cows know why they stampede.

Click here to view ===> RODEO QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: westslopefly.com

ERNEST HEMINGWAY WITH FRIENDS AND "A CATCH"

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Image: antiquefishingreels.com

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FISHING QUOTES

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"To me heaven would be a big bull ring with me holding two barrera seats and a trout stream outside that no one else was allowed to fish in and two lovely houses in the town; one where I would have my wife and children and be monogamous and love them truly and well and the other where I would have my nine beautiful mistresses on nine different floors."
- Ernest Hemingway
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Click here to view ===> FISHING QUOTES

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