The truth about curling
If I had written that headline a month ago, I think most of you would have thought, "Curling…curling…like hair curling?" But, thanks to MSNBC being turned into the 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Cable Olympic Curling Channel for two weeks during the 2006 Torino Olympics, we are all, for better or worse, with or without our consent, now educated about one of the oldest winter sports to come out of one of the dreariest winter places (Scotland — whoa, hold on, I just remembered the Scots invented golf too. See what you get when you have a bunch of skirt-wearing men confined to an island? That's right, weird sports. And weird instruments.)
But MSNBC/COCC made sure we're not too educated. I was mystified the first time I saw the sport on TV. I had heard the word over the years, but I had no idea how curling was played or what the game looked like. At first glance it looks simple — slide a big puck-looking thing down the ice and try to get it as close to the center of the target as possible. I couldn't understand what was so great about the sport. We poked no end of fun at the goofy people with their brushes, and all the teams screaming "HARD!" in a dozen different languages. The first time I saw it, I figured that MSNBC was just showing the sport for part of that particular day — MSNBC was airing the Olympics during the daytime, while NBC did the primetime stuff at night — and the next day would be a cool sport like ski jumping or speed skating. But when I checked what was on the next day, it was again curling. And the day after that. And so on.
I was astonished. What was with the constant curling broadcasts? Were viewers actually demanding this be covered all the time? It became a joke around the apartment that if you wanted to watch the Olympics in the middle of the day, you'd better like curling. Except it wasn't a joke — nine times out of ten, when I wanted to watch the Olympics in non-primetime, curling was the only option. Strangely, we started watching it — even as we continued to make fun of it. It was like we couldn't look away. The announcers amused us too, one with a Canadian accent and the other constantly talking up the virtues of the sport — "chess on ice" was one of the best, along with all the comments about who was the best ice brusher. We knew it was bad when NBC Nightly News broke for commercial with the words, "When we come back, the Olympic event that a lot of people just can't get enough of."
Before I knew it, I was constantly watching curling — not just because it was always on, but because I was intrigued. Mostly, I wondered what the hell the rules were. It took almost two solid weeks of watching just to figure out the basics — I think that's the way NBC wanted it; people might watch if they have to figure out what's going on for themselves. Apparently the national curling web site crashed during the first week of the Olympics because everyone and their brother was trying to learn how the game is played.
The other reason I watched was because I wanted to figure out what the attraction was. What was it about this sport that converted a major cable channel into an all-curling, all the time network? That got a spot on the prime time evening news? That got Bush to watch it on Air Force One and declare he enjoyed it (other than "Oooh! Rocks!")? What in the hell got me to watch this sport — that I initially considered no more complicated or exciting than darts with stones — for almost two weeks?
I have no freaking clue.
So, the title of this post might have been misleading — I don't know the truth about curling. I don't even know all the rules. I do know that some Canadians find it erotic, and women like to watch because "it's attractive men who can sweep…what more could a girl want?", and that curling must be exercising some form of mind control (it's the target), but other than that I just think it's interesting. I keep returning to that quote about curling being "chess on ice." After getting a small taste of the strategy involved, I'm starting to think that quote is more fact than funny. Sure, the players look goofy sweeping as hard as they can to get a 40-lb rock to move over the ice just so, but in a way it's fun to watch.
HARD!
Delicious ideas to please the pickiest eaters. Watch the video on AOL Living.
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