SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Monday, April 14, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sports.espn.go.com

 
ESPN'S HOTTEST FEMALE ATHLETE,  2004:  HEATHER MITTS
 
By Mary Buckheit
Page 2

Just when you had gotten over going smooch-less at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, you're bombarded with reminders that your love life isn't nearly as fresh as your desk calendar. Thanks, Hallmark. But since not everyone spends Valentine's Day obsessing over orchids and counting confection calories, we're here to look out for you.

Heather Mitts
Heather Mitts was Page 2's 2004 Hottest Female Athlete

Cupid can't always corral your perfect Valentine, but Page 2 can.

We sent our Mary Buckheit out with a box of chocolates and some soccer cleats to chat with Heather Mitts, ESPN.com's reigning Hottest Female Athlete, for a special Valentine's Day treat.

Mary passed along our gifts, right down to the last little candy heart, but Heather wasn't having it. Her take? Valentine's Day is just like any other day of the year. It can be special and romantic, but otherwise, it's just another day. "Don't just sit around and mope," says Heather.

We're never one to argue with Ms. Mitts, or support anything that turns her off. So here's a dose of the sport world's perfect valentine to help combat the V-day mopes. Don't say we've never done anything for you.

* * * * *

1. So, how were the last 365 days living as Page 2's hottest female athlete?

Heather Mitts: 2004 was so good to me. It was such an awesome year -- getting invited in and having the shot to make the national team, then going over to the Olympics in Athens and playing alongside such amazing women. And winning a gold medal, and --

Whoa, whoa! An Olympic medal? Prioritize, Heather! How 'bout the Page 2 crown?

Yes, yes! Of course, winning the Page 2 poll was very flattering. That was a big part of this phenomenal year.

Has winning the Sexiest Female Athlete title helped your image?

It definitely hasn't hurt it at all. It's put my name out there and the fact that I'm a soccer player comes up in the mix, so hopefully that aids in the exposure of the sport and helps expand our fan base.

So how often did people call you out as the queen of the crop?

Well, I received a ton of e-mail to my Web site when the contest was going on ... actually, even well after the Page 2 contest ended. That was pretty funny. And every once in awhile I'll bump into somebody somewhere and they'll bring it up. Especially when I'm in Philly, that's when I get it the most. It's very nice and it's very, very flattering, but I get a little embarrassed at the same time.

2. Who do you think is the sexiest athlete out there right now?

A.J. Feeley.

Ahh, there it is, the token A.J. Feeley promo.

C'mon. You knew that was coming.

I did. But we left your beau out of this year's competition for hottest male athlete. Are you angry?

Yes I am very angry (laughing). He'll be in it eventually. I mean, there are so many attractive athletes out there and I think A.J. is a diamond in the rough right now. It's only a matter of time, and that's fine with me because that means for right now he's all mine!

3. What's A.J.'s best look? A suit, jeans and a hoodie, shorts and a T-shirt ...

Honestly, I love him in everything, but I would have to say I think he looks pretty hot in his football uniform. He likes to dress up sometimes, and he looks unbelievable in a suit. But he's really just a small-town boy from Oregon. He's relaxed, we just hang out, I like that side of him and I love him in jeans, a T-shirt and flip-flops.

Heather and A.J.
Heather and A.J. were spotted at FHM's Super Bowl party.

4. You mean, there is a time when the two of you can actually just relax?

Not very often! This year has been really, really crazy for the both of us, so every opportunity that we get to hang out, we keep it pretty low-key. We're moving into our new house and that takes a lot of time. We really try to take advantage of every opportunity we get to spend some time alone together. We have an awesome new barbeque that we try to take advantage of, but mostly, we'll just go to dinner, we'll watch a movie -- we just relax.

Is there any movie that you love to watch that absolutely makes A.J. cringe?

Well, I have my shows -- "Will and Grace," "Friends," "Sex in the City" -- I could play those over and over but I think once is enough for him.

5. If we asked A.J.. for one thing you do that is totally NOT hot, what would he say?

He's right here, do you want me to ask him?

Yeah, ask him.

Hey, babe, what's one thing that I do that is totally not hot? Be nice.

A.J.: Your obsession with eating healthy.

Heather Mitts
Proof positive that Page 2 readers have good taste in Hot Athletes

Oh, c'mon, I'm not that bad.

Eating healthy. Yeah, I'm sure that's about the most unattractive trait most people could come up with about their sig-Os. Geez. So do you lovebirds have any hot Valentine's Day plans?

Well, we try not to make it too big of an extravaganza, but this year should actually be a lot of fun. We're going up to New York and we'll probably catch a play and go out to dinner or something. Then, the day after, I'm going to be on Cold Pizza. Tuesday night we have a Sports Illustrated party to go to in the city since I will be in the Swimsuit Issue this year. So, our Valentine's day is pretty eventful this year, but we do get a little alone time.

Are you a flowers, chocolate kind of traditionalist? Umm ... I'm kinda "whatever." I mean, no one thing really gets me going but what girl doesn't like that kind of stuff, you know?

Amen.

6. OK, so other than your Valentine, who is the hottest male athlete? Last year you said Beckham.

Yeah, I saw this year's list and I think David Beckham wins, hands down.

You spent a lot of time traveling to and playing in other countries. Where are the most well-mannered beefcakes?

I'd say Manchester United has it all. I had an opportunity to really get to know them, through some interviews with them. They are such nice, handsome guys.

Are there any athletes on the list that just do not appeal to you at all?

Oh, man, nah, that's so mean, I can't say that. My biggest problem is with who you left off.

Freddie Mitchell?

Ha. No. Mr. Feeley.

Can Mr. Feeley please give Freddie Mitchell some fashion advice?

You know what, all I can say is, "That's just Freddie."

Who were you and A.J. pulling for in the Super Bowl?

Oh, Philly, of course. Poor Philadelphia. We really hope they get a championship in that city soon. A.J. and I both really enjoyed our playing experiences in Philadelphia. We were cheering on A.J.'s old teammates.

Which are YOUR teammates more tired of answering -- questions about you or questions about Mia?

Goal
Page 2's Hottest Female Athlete celebrates a goal last summer with teammate Heather O'Reilly.

(laughing) Hopefully Mia!

7. Do you have celebratory dance lined up for your next goal?

Well, it's kind of funny, because before every single game in Philadelpia, my teammate -- and also a defender -- Jenny Benson and I would try to think up a cool dance to do if we scored a goal. We came up with about a million of them but never used them.

Are you a good dancer?

Umm, I'm not horrible.

Can A.J. dance?

He is a hell of a good dancer!

Who's better?

He is. Oh, he is much better, I'm serious. He's got the moves. I'm very impressed whenever we go dancing. I don't know where he gets it!

8. Who's got more skills -- you with a football or A.J. with a soccer ball?

If you asked him, I'm sure he'd say he's better with a soccer ball. But I'm pretty darn good with a football. I can catch his passes all day long. Now, throwing a football -- my technique may leave a little to be desired, but I do alright!

Well, you don't need to be able to heave a pigskin to win our contest.

Thank goodness.

9. What advice would you give this year's winner?

I'd say, just enjoy it while you can. It's such a great opportunity to look at athletes in a different light.

Did former champ Jennie Finch ever offer you any words of wisdom?

No, I have met Jennie a bunch of times, but we have so much to chat about, we've never talked about the contest. All I can say is I hope this does for me what it's done for Jennie because she is blowing up right now! She is doing awesome. She is such a great girl.

10. You and Jennie already won, so you are not eligible this year. You can judge though. Can you be the Simon Cowell of the contest?

Nah, I'm definitely the Paula Abdul!

Who could be the blunt, critic of the contest? Any of your friends or teammates?

Umm ... no, I don't know anybody who could be that critical or blunt -- Freddie Mitchell!





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