SPORTS PUNS
OLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiver
OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go batty
OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just run their last lap
OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribbling
OLD BIKERS never die, but they're hard on tires
OLD BOWLERS never die, they just end up in the gutter
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six
OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time
OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop
OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board
OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring
OLD DRIVERS never die, they just blow a gasket.
OLD FIGHTERS never die, they just lose their punch.
OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just get reel tired
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way
OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go to the end zone
OLD FOOTBALLERS never die, they just kick the bucket
OLD GOAL UMPIRES never die, they just get flagged down
- (umpires as in Australian Rules Football)
Old Golfers never die, they just keep putting along.
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their balls
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their drive
OLD GYMNASTS never die, they just take longer to mount
OLD HIKERS never die, they just trail away
OLD HOCKEY PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal
OLD HUNTERS never die, they just stay LOADED
OLD KAYAKERS never die, they just roll back over, and do it again
OLD QUARTERBACKS never die, they just fade back and pass away
OLD SKATEBOARDERS never die, they just lose their bearings.
OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast
OLD SKIERS never die, they just go over the hill.
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal
OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick
OLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave in
OLD SURFERS never die, they just get wiped out.
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocks
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke
OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged
OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip
OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over
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