SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Saturday, May 3, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: wediditforlove.com


Drag Racing Quotes

1. "After the third flip, I lost control............"
Don Roberts after crashing in the Jade Grenade at New England Dragway in 1975.

2. "Everything was fine until I left and then I ran out of talent!"
Don Garlits after a red light in the final

3. "Alcohol is for drinking, gas is for cleaning parts, and nitro is for racing!"
original author unknown, used by Gene Adams and Don Garlits among others

4. "We worked 80 hour weeks for 30 years to keep from having to get a real job."
"T.C". Tom Lemon's comment on the rigors of being a drag racing touring professional in the 'Golden Years' of drag racing.

5. "Women in the truck is bad luck."
Ed Donavan used to tell John Wiebe because if John had a lady friend along, then there wasn't room for Ed in the pickup!

6. " Nope it wasn't helping me one bit and I didn't want to lose any teeth on it when it drove me into the wall, so I got rid of it."
From an old time northeast modified racer when asked after a crash if the steering wheel broke off on his ill handling race car after it comes flying out the window just before impact - courtesy of Jeff Howe

7. "Dad, why did you redlight?", "Because the light was too slow."
Mike Dunn question to his father, Big Jim Dunn in 'Funny Car Summer' movie

8. "Not bad for a coupe...."
Don Garlits after watching the first Funny Car in qualifying made a pass, slightly quicker and faster than he had just run. Courtesy Museum Dave Crain.

9. "You could unwrap a Fudgesicle at the first light and never touch the brake lever till you threw away the stick."
Tom Hannah

10. "See that helmet, It will fit your head too MOTHER ****ER!"
Connie Kalitta to a strip owner with no lights at night after the finish line and insisting that Connie make a full pass in a match race. Courtesy of Roy Steffey.

11. "Driver of genuine 'Kill yourself Kits' .... Seeks employment."
Olin Davis on looking for a ride in the late 50's.

12. "Rear Engine Dragsters are just a fad and front motor was the only way to go."
Floyd Head to Frank Huszar in 1971 when the old man tried to talk Floyd into building a RED instead of a FED. Courtesy of Gordon Leland.

13. "Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story."
Bones Carroll on the fine art of telling a story.

14. "Count to five and duck."
Said to Don Ewald by Fred Smith after they replaced a broken rod/piston with a counter weight on the crank to make a final round.

15. 'F--k the trophy, give me the check."
Jerry Ruth after winning the 1972 Winternationals.

16. "It doesn't matter what they say about you as long as they spell your name right."
Tom McEwen 1967

17. "There's no such thing as bad ink."
Tom McEwen 1968

18. "I quit."
Don Prudhomme after the final round at the 1969 US Nationals when Nicoll's car was cut in half and passed in front of him.

19. (a visual)
"Clean up that ring land and put the bitch back in...<g>.
"Don't tell me...let me guess? It was a Kuhl cacklecar ... lol"
"Then there was seven...."

20. "We haven't given up on these yet - there's some hope for a rear engine car."
Warren Welsh (driver of the 1957 built rear-engined 92" w.b. Shoehorn)

21. "You never get out of the throttle unless you see the timing tower."
Doger Glenn to Dale Thierer during Dale's last qualifying run for his drivers license at Maple Grove Dragway in 1970.

22. "It needs to reach from the header flange to the end of the tube, or at least real close to it ."
David Pace to Tom Barnhill when asked " How long should the pipes on a set of zoomies be ?"

23. " It`s my car, I`ll pick it up by the front axle and use it as a wheel barrow to haul coal if I want to !"
A quote from Tommy Reese , owner and driver of the Brougher & Reese AA/FD, Pittsburgh Pa. 1964 to 1971. Everyone in the pits was always telling Tommy, " You ought to do this or you ought to do that---Tommy would look them in the eye and say...

23. "I know that son-of-a-bitch is cheatin! Cause, I'm cheatin and he beat me"!
Unknown from long ago.

24. "At Lions one night, I was on a strong pass and about half track I saw a blower belt go past me, then about 3/4 down track, I saw another blower belt go by. Then as I pulled off the track I noticed I didn't have any front tires either".
Retired Top Fuel driver Walt Stevens.

24. "Hell, If it was easy anybody could do it and it wouldn't be called Racing!"
This is what I tell most of the drivers who have had a bad run of luck or are paying their dues to become true racers. Bruce Pedretti/TopWop Chowchilla Chicken Chokers

25. "When building engines I have found the piston to ground clearence to be ever so critical."
Geri Tarvin

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