FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bartleby.com

SPORTS QUOTES

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AUTHOR: Tom Callahan
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QUOTATION: The America’s Cup, yachting’s great and garish grail, is a tumorous tureen no handsomer than a camel.
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ATTRIBUTION: “Going for the Cup” ib 9 Feb 87
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AUTHOR: Jimmy Cannon
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QUOTATION: A sportswriter is entombed in a prolonged boyhood.
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ATTRIBUTION: Quoted in Jerome Holtzman ed No Cheering in the Press Box Holt 74
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AUTHOR: John Cheever
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QUOTATION: All literary men are Red Sox fans—to be a Yankee fan in a literate society is to endanger your life.
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ATTRIBUTION: Quoted in Newsweek 20 Oct 86
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AUTHOR: Bud Collins
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QUOTATION: Benoit should get one adult first prize ($41,000 and a Mercedes sedan) if she wins, plus one child’s portion ($20,500 and a stroller).
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ATTRIBUTION: On Joan Benoit’s decision to run in the Boston Marathon while pregnant, Boston Globe 27 Mar 87
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AUTHOR: John Crosby
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QUOTATION: If they hit the ball out, they’d say “Sorry.” If they hit it in but too hot for me to handle, they’d say “Sorry.” If it was too well hit, they were sorry; too badly hit, they were sorry.
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ATTRIBUTION: On playing tennis in England, NY Herald Tribune 4 Nov 63
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AUTHOR: Mario Cuomo, Governor of NY
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QUOTATION: It was anticipating self-defense.
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ATTRIBUTION: On why he once hit a catcher in the face mask while playing minor league baseball, CBS TV 30 Dec 84
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AUTHOR: Richard L Curry, Judge, Cook County Circuit Court, Chicago
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QUOTATION: Do those who schedule play time / For the games of our national pastime / Have the right to interfere with bedtime / By starting the game at nighttime / Instead of the customary daytime?
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ATTRIBUTION: Upholding ban against lighting Chicago’s Wrigley Field, Christian Science Monitor 3 Apr 85
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AUTHOR: Dennis Diaz
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QUOTATION: I fished a lot, dove a lot, boated a lot—and made Johnny Walker Red about a quarter of a million dollars richer.
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ATTRIBUTION: On why he started breeding horses, including 1985 Kentucky Derby winner Spend a Buck, two years after his retirement at age 38, People 20 May 85
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AUTHOR: Phil Donahue
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QUOTATION: It’s like threading a needle while walking on a water bed.
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ATTRIBUTION: On detecting drug use by athletes, NBC TV 23 Mar 87
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AUTHOR: Bill Emerson
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QUOTATION: A bicycle does get you there and more … And there is always the thin edge of danger to keep you alert and comfortably apprehensive. Dogs become dogs again and snap at your raincoat; potholes become personal. And getting there is all the fun.
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ATTRIBUTION: On bicycling, Saturday Evening Post 29 Jul 67
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AUTHOR: William Faulkner
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QUOTATION: There is something about jumping a horse over a fence, something that makes you feel good. Perhaps it’s the risk, the gamble. In any event it’s a thing I need.
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ATTRIBUTION: National Observer 3 Feb 64
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AUTHOR: James Fixx
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QUOTATION: [Eventually the] hoopla will die down [and people will] run the same way we brush our teeth—every day, without a fuss.
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ATTRIBUTION: The Complete Book of Running Random House 77, recalled on his death, Newsweek 30 Jul 84
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AUTHOR: Gerald R Ford, 38th US President
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QUOTATION: The pat on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the praise for what was done right and the sympathetic nod for what wasn’t are as much a part of golf as life itself.
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ATTRIBUTION: At dedication of World Golf Hall of Fame, Pinehurst NC, NY Times 12 Sep 74
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AUTHOR: Ashrita Furman
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QUOTATION: Everything is in slow motion down there and silent. It could replace psychotherapy.
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ATTRIBUTION: On aqua pogo, NY Times 22 Mar 86
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AUTHOR: Clara Germani
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QUOTATION: Their tails are high and tongues awag—the twin banners of sled dog contentment. .
ATTRIBUTION: On Alaskan Huskies in thousand-mile sled dog race following the Klondike gold rush trail, Christian Science Monitor 29 Jan 85
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AUTHOR: Richard Gilman
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QUOTATION: Being a sports fan is a complex matter, in part irrational … but not unworthy … a relief from the seriousness of the real world, with its unending pressures and often grave obligations.
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ATTRIBUTION: “The Wounded Giant Regains His Dignity” NY Times 25 Jan 87
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AUTHOR: Richard Gilman
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QUOTATION: The Giants will always represent New York [in] the sort of in-your-face move that being in the Super Bowl presents to the way the rest of the country mostly thinks of us: huge, cold, rich, conceited, unnatural, deserving therefore of all our misfortunes.
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ATTRIBUTION: “The Wounded Giant Regains His Dignity” NY Times 25 Jan 87
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AUTHOR: Hank Greenberg
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QUOTATION: The Pied Piper … enjoyed people enjoying themselves. He was colorblind and race-blind and religion-blind.
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ATTRIBUTION: On Bill Veeck, owner of Chicago White Sox, NY Times 4 Jan 86
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