SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dayo.info

Scuba Diving Quotes and Anecdotes
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The following is an ever increasing list of humorous statements made by us and our students over the years.
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Open Water:
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I can't swim
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My regulator is not working very well (tank is turned off)
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I know my body!!!!! (Student's response to instructions on how to clear ones ears upon descending)
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Which fin is left and which is the right one?
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Responding to question: 'How do you swim underwater?'
Student's Response: With my regulator in my mouth...
(correct answer being 'Slow & Steady')
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Responding to question: 'What do you do if you find yourself out of air and no buddy around?'
Student's Response: Switch to my snorkel...
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Can I be certified by this evening, I'm leaving for Cozumel tomorrow
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My buddy Mike showed me how to use his scuba gear. How much of a discount can I get?
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This is my primary second stage and this yellow one is my squid (meant octopus)
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While in area springs, in the water, in full scuba gear and tanks, doing training dives, we are often asked by bystanders: Are you scuba diving?
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Instructor to a student getting an inhaler out of the bag: So you just forgot to tell me you have asthma?
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Instructor to students on their first dive in area lakes, springs and ocean: Welcome to the foodchain folks, you are no longer on the top!
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Instructor to students on their first lake or spring dive in Florida:
I haven't seen an alligator here since last week, and it was only 10' long.
If the gator gets close, get next to it and smile so I can get a picture.
Don't pet the gators.
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Instructor to students about to dive in a lake with friendly and harmless turtles that like to be fed: Watch out for the killer snapping turtles. If you see one, FREEZE and hope they don't bite!!!
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Instructor to students: I'm sorry, but no matter what you think you read, I'm not going to carry all your gear around for you, ask the divemaster for help.
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Divemaster to students: I'm sorry, but I don't care what the instructor said, I'm not going to carry all your gear around for you, ask the divemaster intern for help.
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Divemaster Intern to students: No problem, I will be happy to carry all your gear around for you.
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Technical Divers:
What is a lift bag?
What does buoyancy mean?
Why can't I just do all my decompression at 15 feet like all the others divers do?
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Cavern/Cave Divers:
I am claustrophobic
I'm not really comfortable in the water...
Was I meant to hook up my long hose on my regulator?
Student shows up with a full face mask. Reason: he can't stand water on his face...

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