April 14, 2008 -- EVEN during rigidly cli mate-controlled Masters telecasts, network excesses performed on behalf of selling Tiger Woods to an audience that long ago bought in continues to aggravate and to amuse.
Friday, Woods was eight shots back and looking at a long putt on the 10th. And looking at it, and looking at it. As Woods surveyed the putt, walking it off, studying it from both sides, ESPN's CBS telecast fastened us to this scene for, good golly Miss Molly, two minutes and 38 seconds, until Woods finally putted.
Over that 2:38, we could have seen five or six players actually hitting shots, playing in and for The Masters. Instead, we watched Tiger Woods walk back and forth, bend down, stand up, walk around some more, look left, look right, take some practice strokes, look up, look down. If he had done the Hokey-Pokey and turned himself around, that's what it's all about!
It's as if Woods still needs TV's help to be recognized as the best, as if Woods needs a boost, as if the poor guy could use the help.
Saturday afternoon at 4:45, Woods made his first appearance on Page 1 of CBS's leaderboard. That's because when Woods got to four-under CBS made extra room to show his name on Page 1 of its leaderboard. The two players who had reached four-under before Woods - Lee Westwood and Sean O'Hair - would remain on Page 2, though Woods suddenly appeared on Page 1 with the same score.
Someday a network is going to show Woods at the top of the leaderboard even when he's three behind. Why not? The Golf Channel, two weeks ago, aired promos for its coverage of the Houston Open, promos that implied that Woods would be playing in it, though, as the people at Golf Channel well knew, he wouldn't.
Yesterday, while everyone had trouble scoring CBS' announcers took turns expressing their heartbreak for only one player; Woods had the TV exclusive on sympathy.
Someday the headline will read, "Scores Dead In Welsh Mining Disaster; Tiger Woods, -8 In Tucson, Unhurt."
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