SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Thursday, April 16, 2009

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tosports.ca

Image: 80s-tennis.com
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GOLF QUOTES
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What I like about golf is there are no bad calls.
- Ivan Lendl
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It matters not the sacrifice
Which makes the duffers wife so sore
I am the captain of my slice
I am the servant of my score.
- Grantland Rice
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There are two things that will not last long in this world, and that’s dogs chasing cars, and pro’s putting for pars.
- Lee Trevino
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The game of golf was started at 11:10 a.m., the first lie about a scorecard at 11:22, and the first golf joke at noon.
- Bennett Cerf
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A game you play with your own worst enemy—-yourself.
- Finley Peter Dunne
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A game that begins with a golf ball and ends with a high ball.
- Bert Sugar
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A game in which a ball 1 1/2 inches in diameter is played on a ball 8,000 miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball, but not the larger.
- John Cunningham
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A game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
- Art Rosenblum
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I’m playing like Tarzan, and scoring like Jane
- Chi Chi Rodriguez
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You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He’s the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, “oops!”
- Bob Monkhouse
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I’ve got to figure out how to take a vacation from a vacation.
- Dave Stockton on playing the PGA Senior Tour.
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GOLFERSWHO TALKFASTSWINGFAST!
- Bob Toski
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The loudest sound you hear is the guy jingling coins to distract a player he bet against.
- Jim Murray
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Golf is a plague invented by Calvinist Scots to as a punishment for man’s sins.
- James Reston
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Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you’ve found a man about to make a difficult putt.
- Fletcher Knebel
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I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole-in-one and wrote down zero on the scorecard.
- Bob Bruce
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Willie Nelson, discussing what par is on a golf course he bought. It’s anything I want it to be. For instance, the hole right here is 47. and yesterday I birdied the sucker.
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
- Bob Hope
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A hole in one, scored by accident, can keep a complete duffer playing golf for the rest of his life. - “Champagne” Tony Lima
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Arnold Palmer is the greatest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. - Bob Hope
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The only thing I fear on a golf course is lightning…and Ben Hogan.
- Sam Snead
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Serenity is knowing your worst shot is still going to be pretty good.
- Johnny Miller
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Lee Trevino, on where professional golf would be without sponsors money: I’ll tell you where it would be. Julous Boros would be a bookkeeper in Connecticut, Arnold Palmer would be in the Coast Guard, and I’d be back in Texas, picking cotton.
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I learned English from American pros. That’s why I speak so bad. I call it PGA English.
- Roberto Di Vicenzo
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Golf is a young man’s vice and an old man’s penance.
- Irvin S. Cobb
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When playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
- Henny Youngman
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There an old saying: if a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburrs in his pants, don’t ask him what he shot.
- Sam Snead
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Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike
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