FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cbssports.com

SPORTS HUMOR
A national sports writer gives as good as he gets in hate mail confrontations
.
Click here to view ===> HATE MAIL HECKLES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: euroartmagazine.com

.

HOCKEY QUOTES

Quotes about the most dominating NHL player ever, Wayne Gretzky

.

Source:

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader

Sports Spectacular

by the Bathroom Reader's Institute

Publisher: Bathroom Reader's Press

Ashland, Oregon

ISBN 978-1-60710--034-8

.

-------------------

.

"Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess."

- Journalist Lowell Cohn

.

"Gretzky's got more friends in the media than the

guy running the free buffet."

- Journalist Fan Bickley

.

'"The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit

him while he is standing still singing the national

anthem."

- Boston G. M. Harry Sindin

.

====================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: yahoo.com

Image: assets.sbnation.com
.
NFL FOOTBALL QUOTES
Quotes by and about Brett Favre's latest decision to return to the NFL
.
Click here to view ===> I MEANT RE-TIRE MY SUV!
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: askmen.com

SPORTS TRIVIA \ HUMOR
Askmen.com survey identifies the 10 worst sports logos
.
Click here to view ===> 10 WORST SPORTS LOGOS
================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: fullthrottle.cranialcavity.net

Image: a.espncdn.com
.
NASCAR \ AUTO RACING QUOTES
.
"If I have a love-hate relationship with Martinsville, then we're missing the love part of the equation."
- Tony Stewart
.
"If I died right now, my life would be complete."
- Tony Stewart, after winning the Allstate 400.
.
"There are seven winners of the Monaco Grand Prix on the starting line today, and four of them are Michael Schumacher."
- Murray Walker
.
"Do you think you'll be driving a race car for the rest of your life?"
- Bob Nodolf, who was Matt Kenseth's driver education teacher in high school, relating a story that Kenseth once got scolded by his English teacher for skipping an English class.
.
"With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."
- Murray Walker
.
"I'd like to say I'm ready to kick ass and show the guys how it's done. But I'm not here to prove anything about being a woman. I'm here to drive a race car and try to win a race."
- Lyn St. James
.
"When I raced a car last it was at a time when sex was safe and racing was dangerous. Now, it's the other way round."
- Hans Stuck
.
"I'm about 15 pounds heavier. I've got highlights in my hair."
- Tony Stewart on what's changed since his 2002 championship
.
"That's baloney, man. That's what's wrong with America now. Every time somebody screws up, we tell them it's all right. You don't pay your bills? You can file bankruptcy. You kill somebody? Spend 10 years in jail, and we'll let you out. That's what's wrong with society now, man. If you do the crime, do the time. If you had the guts to do it, have the guts to take your punishment."
- crew chief Michael McSwain, telling the Richmond Times-Dispatch he was tired of hearing competitors whining after being caught cheating.
.
"I love this kind of racing, (but) these guys sure change their personalities in race mode. They're like Doberman pinschers with a hand grenade in their mouths."
- road racer Boris Said speaking of NEXTEL Cup drivers.
.
"I feel like I got a pile of cattle chasing my ass, and I'm peddling as hard as I can to stay in front of 'em. I'm looking behind me driving like hell."
- Rusty Wallace, prior to the July race at Pocono on being in the top 10 in points.
.
"If you don't cheat, you look like an idiot; if you cheat and don't get caught, you look like a hero; if you cheat and get caught, you look like a dope. Put me where I belong."
- Darrell Waltrip
.
"The crashes people remember, but drivers remember the near misses."
- Mario Andretti
.
"When I started racing my father told me, 'Cristiano, nobody has three balls but some people have two very good ones."'
- Cristiano Da Matta
.
"I closed my eyes, held my breath and then everything went black."
- Richard Petty - (About his 1988 Daytona accident)
.
"The winner ain't the one with the fastest car, it's the one who refuses to lose."
- Dale Earnhardt
.
"I make jokes about the fact that as a neuro-surgeon I shouldn't be required at a motor race because the drivers don't have any brains.... otherwise they wouldn't race."
- Syd Watkins - Formula One Chief Medical Officer
.
"Dear Lord baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife, Carley, who is a stone cold fox."
- Ricky Bobby saying grace in "Talladega Nights"
.
"Be born rich."
- Janet Guthrie's advice on succeeding in racing
.
"Moonshiners put more time, energy, thought, and love into their cars than any racer ever will. Lose on the track, and you go home. Lose with a load of whiskey, and you go to jail."
- Junior Johnson, NASCAR legend, and one time whiskey runner.
.
"It's his life, not mine. I'm sure if James Hylton could do it, I could. But I've got better sense."
- Junior Johnson, on Hylton attempting to make the 2007 Daytona 500 field
.
"Oh, what a basket of junk," it drives like a station wagon, an old station wagon, like an old Oldsmobile station wagon, green with wood panel trim on the sides."
- Tony Stewart Speaking of the Car of Tomorrow
.
"The astronauts got nothing on me."
- Cale Yarborough after getting together with Sam McQuagg in the final stages of the 1965 Southern 500. Yarborough went sailing over the wall and remark was made to ABC's Chris Economaki after scrambling back over the wall unhurt.
.
"The competition, of course, is No. 1. Dale Earnhardt Jr., we have to remember, is Dale Earnhardt Jr. He could sell a chocolate popsicle to a woman in a white dress. It's easy. ... Kyle Busch, he wouldn't be able to sell a favorite candy bar to a kid, I guess."
- Kyle Busch, on whether marketing and sponsor demographics play a role in his search for a new team.
.
"It was all about winning today because we want those extra 10 bonus points. If you're solidly in the top 10 right now -- settling for second, you might as well kiss your aunt with a hairy mustache. That's generally not something you really care about."
- Tony Stewart Comment after winning the 2007 Watkins Glen event.
.
"That's the way race people are. If they think anybody's got money, we're all hookers."
- Kyle Petty
.
"He's got a 10-foot ego, and a four-foot body, and it ain't working too good right now."
- Mike Bliss after being punted by Bobby Hamilton Jr.
.
"Robby's got a little problem going faster under caution than he does under green."
- Jeff Gordon on Robby Gordon
.
"Racing is dangerous, but I've been in a lot worse situations as a pipe fitter."
- Neil Bonnett
.
"There are certain guys who you can race with, and they'll race you hard and clean. "[Earnhardt Sr.] is not one of those guys."
- Ricky Rudd about Dale Earnhardt Sr's driving style
.
"There have been other tracks that separated the men from the boys. This is the track that will separate the brave from the weak after the boys are gone."
- Driver Jimmy Thompson speaking about Daytona International Speedway
.
"I jumped out of the car to address this thing, knowing I had to address it right then or run from Cale [Yarborough] the rest of my life. And with that, Cale went to beating on my fist with his nose."
- Bobby Allison Speaking about the famous fight ending the 1979 Daytona 500
.
"When I first came down here, I was accepted but I can't say why. I would say a lot of people were scared of me as I didn't care whether I was upside down or not."
- A.J. Foyt on his acceptance when first entering NASCAR
.
"You've got to have at least two a day, or you're going to have bad luck. I think the most I ever had was 27 in one weekend. That was over a four-day weekend for a late model show; a little bit of competitive eating going on."
- Darian Grubb Talking about Martinsville Hot Dogs.
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: entertainment.wagerweb.com

Image: nataliegulbisonline.com
.
SPORTS PICTORIAL
.
The 13 sexiest women-athletes in sports, 2009:
Who's the sexiest?
(See online poll at end of pictorial)
.
Quotes are included in this pictorial - see sample below:
.
“There’s a lot of pervs out there; I am tired of all of this publicity. There’s even pictures of my cameltoe. Just leave me alone and let me work on my pole”
-- Pole vaulter Allison Stokke
.
Note:
If you'd like to view sizzling female non-athletes under the
Hot Girls column, feel free - Big Brother is not watching!!!
.
Click here to view ===> EYE CANDY UNLEASHED!!!
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com

NFL FOOTBALL PICTORIAL
NFL Touchdown Dances:
.
Click here to view ===> TD DANCING
.
------
.
Bonus Entry: Dancing Demo to Inspire all Dancing Athletes
.
The late, great Michael Jackson and rocker Prince all learned the
dancing gyrations to scintillate audiences from the dancing meister
himself, the late, great James Brown, the Godfather of Soul!
.
No wonder, then, that athletes, seeing the furor such gyrations
could generate, have chosen to emulate the great dancing
feats of the super great Jackson, Prince, and Brown to celebrate
their athletic achievements in the sports arena.
.
Brown, himself a former aspiring baseball player and boxer, had
to find success in another arena, music entertainment, and was
a rousing success, to say the least, with his exhilirating dance
steps combining with screeches, screams, groans, and some singing
to inspire the development of funk as a new musical genre.
.
Just think, music fans, if James could have hit a curve ball or
avoided left hooks, jabs, and boloes, someone else would have
had to introduce "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" to the world!
.
To the uninitiated and to the diehard James Brown fans, put on
your dancing shoes if you are 30 or younger and enjoy the dance
video that follows.
.
If you are older than 30, sit back and listen --- PERIOD!!!
.
"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"
.
Click here to view ===> DANCE VIDEO
.
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: facebook.com

MARIAH CAREY

Image: img2.timeinc.net

.

SWIMMING QUOTES \ SAYINGS

.

Swimming is a real sport. The rest just play with their balls.

.

Swimmers are the only people who actually value a hundreth of a second.

.

The world is 3/4 water, but I only need one lane to kick your butt!

.
When global warming occurs, swimmers will RULE THE WORLD

.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

.

Click here to view ===> 9 PAGES OF SWIMMING QUOTES \ SAYINGS

===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: womentalksports.com

NFL FOOTBALL NOTES \ QUOTES
Compilation of NFL notes \ quotes from a sports web site run by women:
.
Click here to view ===> NFL NOTES \ QUOTES
.
Profile of the WOMEN TALK SPORTS web site management team:
.
Click here to view ===> WOMEN TALK SPORTS MANAGEMENT TEAM \ VIDEO
===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: pocketfives.com

IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE, ITS ....

USAIN "THUNDER" BOLT

Image: 4.bp.blogspot.com

TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES

Career montage video of Usain Bolt (as of August, 2009):

Click here to view ===> CAREER MONTAGE OF USAIN BOLT

Note: Quotes regarding Bolt's records can be found on related videos

within the career montage video and on the forum's comments page.

===================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: askmen.com

AMERICAN FOOTBALL TRIVIA \ QUOTES

Top 10: 2009 NFL FOOTBALL FACTORIES

Click here to view ===> NFL FOOTBALL FACTORIES

=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: imdb.com

Image: 3.bp.blogspot.com

.

HORSE RACING QUOTES

Quotes from the horse racing movie Seabiscuit (2003)

.

Plot Summary for Seabiscuit (2003):

.

In an era when Americans were in great need of heroic figures to help them forget their troubles, SEABISCUIT comes to the rescue. The picture relates a moving story of friendship and devotion in rehabilitating the main characters'fractured lives, as it interweaves the interactions between horse, jockey, trainer and owner and their adoring fans. The film accurately portrays the real people and events of those troubled times and how Seabiscuit "fixed us, every one of us."

.

Written by Dale Roloff

.

Movie Trailer for Seabiscuit (2003):

.

Click here to view ===> MOVIE TRAILER FOR SEABISCUIT

.

Quotes from the movie Seabiscuit (2003):

.

Click here to view ==> QUOTES FROM THE MOVIE SEABISCUIT

==============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: thebootlady.com

HORSE RIDING \ RACING QUOTES
.
"There are fools, damn fools, and those who remount in a steeplechase."
BILL WHITBREAD
.
"I ride horses because it's the only sport where I can exercise while sitting down."
JOAN HANSEN
.
"They say princes learn no art truly, but the art of horsemanship. The reason is, the brave beast is no flatterer. He will throw a prince as soon as his groom."
BEN JONSON
.
"Horses have never hurt anyone yet, except when they bet on them."
ANONYMOUS
.
"Horses do think. Not very deeply, perhaps, but enough to get you into a lot of trouble."
PATRICIA JACOBSON and MARCIA HAYES
.
"If your horse says no, you either asked the wrong question, or asked the question wrong."
PAT PARELLI
.
"Four things greater than all things are: Women and Horses & Power and War."
RUDYARD KIPLING
.
Click here to view ===> QUOTES ABOUT HORSES
================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: oklahomaroadtrips.com

CANOEING \ KAYAKING QUOTES
.
The problem with a canoe is that it’s got a big hole on top that lets in the water and limits the paddler’s ability to avoid sinking.
-- FreeWine
.
Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing- absolutely nothing- half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.
-- Kenneth Grahame (From The Wind in the Willows )
.
Click here to view ===> CANOEING \ KAYAKING QUOTES
================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: johnnycalifornia.com

2003 FORD THUNDERBIRD

Image: images01.olx.com

.

BASEBALL QUOTES

Quotes about Baseball Hall of Fame's Rickey Henderson

.

In the last week of his lone season with the Red Sox, Chairman Tom Werner asked Henderson what he would like for his ‘going-away’ gift.

.

Henderson said he wasn’t going anywhere, but he would like owner John Henry’s Mercedes.

.

Werner said it would be tough to get the same make and model in less than a week and Henderson said, “No, I want his car.”

.

Turns out the Sox got Henderson a Red Thunderbird and when he saw it on the field before the last game of the season, Rickey said, “Whose ugly car is on the field?”

.

Click here to view ===> MORE RICKEY QUOTES

===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: askmen.com

Image: videovista.net

.

SPORTS MOVIE QUOTES

.

Top 10 Sports Movie Pep Talks

.

Reggie Dunlop in Slap Shot:

Dunlop, played memorably by Newman, was the down-on-his-luck player/coach for the downtrodden Charleston Chiefs. With his team facing extinction, he unleashed the Hanson Brothers and took his team in a new direction.

.
This pregame chat helped fuel that conversion:

.
“It's their rink, it's their ice, and it's their f*ckin’ town. But tonight we got our fans with us! They spent their own dough to get here, and they came here to see us! All right, let's show 'em what we got, guys! Get out there on the ice and let 'em know you're there. Get that f*ckin’ stick in their side. Let 'em know you're there! Get that lumber in his teeth. Let 'em know you're there!”

.

Click here to view ===> TOP 10: SPORTS MOVIE PEP TALKS

=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportsleader.co.za

RUGBY QUOTES
.
Click here to view ===> RUGBY QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sportingnews.com

Image: cantstopthebleeding.com
.
NFL QUOTES
.
Ex-NFL receivers pick dream QB, overrated wideouts
.
Click here to view ===> NFL QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: dreamcricket.com

Image: get-collectables.co.uk

.

CRICKET QUOTES

.

Fred Trueman
“That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.”
Year: 1900
.
Tony Lewis
“For any budding cricketers listening, do you have any superstitious routines before an innings, like putting one pad on first and then the other?”
Year: 1900
.
Henry Blofeld
“It’s a catch he would have caught 99 times out of 1 000.”
Year: 1900
.
Bernard Thomas
“It was a good tour to break my teeth in.”
Year: 1900
.
Click here to view===> CRICKET QUOTES (9 PAGES)

================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: giga-usa.com

Image: hotels.com

.

GAMBLING QUOTES

.

No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.
- Earl Wilson
.
All gaming, since it implies a desire to profit at the expense of another, involves a breach of the tenth commandment.
- Archbishop Richard Whately
.
There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species.
- Mark Twain
.
The game [of poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great.
- Walter Matthau
.
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
- Fran Lebowitz
.
You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run.
- Kenny Rogers
.
======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: forum.bodybuilding.com

Image: rebodybuilding.com

.

BODYBUILDING \ WEIGHTLIFTING QUOTES

.

Quotes from a bodybuilding forum
.
Best way to keep fit is humping and pumping
- arnie
.
Everybody want to be a bodybuilder but nobody want to lift no heavy a@@ weights
- ronnie coleman
.
Click here to view ===> BODYBUILDING QUOTES
===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: f1technical.net

Image: tallyclinic.com
.
AUTOMOBILE RACING QUOTES
.
"I was taking a ---."
- Kimi Raikkonen, when asked why he wasn't at the presentation for Schumacher at the 2006 Brazilian Grand Prix.
.
"You didn't run out of road, you ran out of skill."
-- An instructor, name forgotten, to me.
.
"He has his talent confused with his salary"
-- MrE on a well known British F1 driver.
.
Click here to view ===> AUTOMOBILE RACING QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com

Image: gasolinealleyantiques.com
.
BOXING QUOTES
Video provides quotes and fight highlights to cite Joe Louis' championship boxing skills
.
The Subtle Skills of Joe Louis
.
Rated by Bert Sugar, the sweet science's supreme authority,
and other boxing gurus and authorities as one of the top ten
prize fighters of all time, Joe Louis, in the video below,
demonstrates his complete mastery of boxing offense and
defense, as the commentator of the highlights cites nuances
of Louis' skills that made Louis one of the greatest of all time.
.
Click here to view ===> THE SUBTLE SKILLS OF JOE LOUIS
===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: baseballreliquary.org

RUTH ROBERTS

Image: baseballreliquary.org

DR. DAVID FLETCHER

Image: safeworksillinois.com

BILL MURRAY

Image: images.movie-gazette.com

CASS SAPIR

Image: baseballroadtrip.net

JOHN ADAMS

Image: mlb.mlb.com

.

BASEBALL FANATICS TRIVIA

.

Baseball Reliquary annually selects the most fanatic

baseball fan from among its many qualified contenders.

.

Compare your baseball fanaticism with the 2001 - 2008 winners

of the Hilda Award ( 5 winners shown above, 3 not shown) to see

what is required to win the coveted trophy.

.

All 8 winners and their qualifications are cited below.

.

Click here to view ===> BASEBALL'S HILDA AWARD WINNERS

=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: quoteslist.net

FANATICS QUOTES
Quotes that can apply to any sports fanatic
.
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Author: Finley Peter Dunne
.
A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.
Author: Franklin P Jones
.
Click here to view ===> FANATICS QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: martialdevelopment.com

AMBROSE BIERCE, AUTHOR OF THE CYNIC'S LEXICON,

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY

Image: 4.bp.blogspot.com

.

MARTIAL ARTS DICTIONARY

An abbreviated devil's dictionary of martial arts terminology

.

Sample entry with definition:

.

SELF-DEFENSE – An elaborate system of strikes and holds, sometimes offered as a substitute for common sense and basic social skills.

.

Click here to view ===> MARTIAL ARTS DICTIONARY

=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: budopoint.de

MARTIAL ARTS QUOTES
.
Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.
-- Unknown
.
Never fight an inanimate object.
-- P. J. O'Rourke
.
I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
-- Tom Hanks
.
Click here to view ===> MARTIAL ARTS QUOTES
==================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: my-favorite-camping-store.com

CAMPING \ HIKING QUOTES
.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
-Dave Barry --American writer, b.1947
.
She had the loaded handbag of someone who camps out and seldom goes home, or who imagines life must be full of emergencies.
-Mavis Gallant
.
Click here to view ===> CAMPING HIKING QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: mediocreathlete.com

Image: onlineoffbeat.com
.
SWIMMING HUMOR
.
Michael Phelps, the Baltimore Bullet, has just set several new world
swimming records in 2009 and what else can he say about his
exceptional gift?
.
Since he really has nothing more to say, there are those other
swimmers not as gifted who have something to say, especially
the one offering her opinion of swimming in the article below:
.
Click here to view ===> SWIMMING IS BULLSH*T!
================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nonstopenglish.com

WINNING QUOTES
Quotes about winners and winning in competitive endeavors
.
Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.
-- H. Ross Perot 1930-, American Businessman & Politician, Founder EDS
.
Every winner has scars.
-- Herbert N. Casson American Author
.
Losers have tons of variety. Champions just take pride in learning to hit the same old boring winning shots.
-- Vic Braden American Tennis Coach
.
Whoever is winning at the moment will always seem to be invincible.
-- George Orwell 1903-1950, British Author, ''Animal Farm''
.
An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents. What does happen is that its opponents gradually die out, and that the growing generation is familiarized with the ideas from the beginning.
-- Max Planck 1858-1947, German Theoretical Physicist
.
It is not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game ever starts.
-- Addison Walker
.
I'm not an old, experienced hand at politics. But I am now seasoned enough to have learned that the hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning.
-- Adlai E. Stevenson 1900-1965, American Lawyer, Politician
.
There is nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever.
-- Alfred Hitchcock 1899-1980, Anglo-American Filmmaker
.
It's shocking how little there is to do with tennis when you're just thinking about nothing except winning every point.
-- Andre Agassi 1970-, American Tennis Player
.
You've got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing.
--Arthur Ashe 1943-1993, African-American Tennis Player
.
The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better.
-- Barbara Pletcher
.
Never change a winning game; always change a losing one.
-- Bill Tilden 1893-1953, American Tennis Player
.
I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think winning is the only thing.
-- Bill Veeck 1914-1986, American Baseball Executive
.
You can become a winner only if you are willing to walk over the edge.
-- Damon Runyon 1884-1946, American Writer, Journalist
.
Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.
-- Denis Waitley 1933-, American Author, Speaker, Trainer, Peak Performance Expert
.
One characteristic of winners is they always look upon themselves as a do it yourself project.
-- Denis Waitley 1933-, American Author, Speaker, Trainer, Peak Performance Expert
.
Losing is a part of winning.
-- Dick Munro
.
Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that's more productive.
-- Donald Trump 1946-, American Businessman
.
Success doesn't mean the absence of failures; it means the attainment of ultimate objectives. It means winning the war, not every battle.
-- Edwin C. Bliss American Author
.
For me, winning isn't something that happens suddenly on the field when the whistle blows and the crowds roar. Winning is something that builds physically and mentally every day that you train and every night that you dream.
-- Emmitt Smith American Football Player
.
======================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: footballoutsiders.com

Image: mydogella.com
.
NFL FOOTBALL QUOTES
.
"There's a potential downside to anything. It's like too many Cheerios. Eat too many Cheerios, it's going to be bad for you. For me, we're in a relationship business. Who we kidding? I don't think I can go wrong having relationships with people."
-- Bucs head coach Raheem Morris, on whether his close relationship with players can go too far. (SI.com)
.
Click here to view ===> NFL QUOTES
===============

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: oobgolf.com

Click on graphic to see full view.
.
Image: unclestinky.files.wordpress.com
.
GOLF QUOTES
Quotes by David Feherty
.
Golf announcer David Feherty was recently invited to speak at a PGA of British Columbia's breakfast in Canada and let loose some comedic gold.
.
Some of his gems:
.
-On the 14 years since CBS colleague Gary McCord was banned from the Masters:
.
"They don't do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It's like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head."
.
-----
.
On McCord's recent revelation, at the annual JCC Sports Awards banquet in Vancouver, that Tiger Woods' caddy Steve Williams and Feherty often try to outdo one another on the course in the area of flatulence, Feherty said Tiger is no slouch himself:
.
"He can lay 'em down like a crop duster."
.
-----
.
-On Phil Mickelson:
.
"Phil is brilliant, but he's nuts. There's something not quite right about that boy. Phil is watching a movie that only Phil can see. His mother told me, 'Phil was so clumsy as a little boy, we had to put a football helmet on him until he was four because he kept bumping into things.' I told her, 'Mary, I'm a writer, you can't keep handing me material like this.' So the next time I saw Phil I said, 'You didn't really wear a football helmet in the house until you were four, did you?' He said, 'It was more like five.' "
.
-----
.
- "I just stood there watching him [Tiger] walk past," Feherty said, "and thinking, 'I don't know what that is, but I know there weren't two of them on Noah's Ark.' "
.
==================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: chicagomaroon.com

Image: images.clubzone.com
.
SPORTS QUOTES
Sports quotes of the year from early 2009
.
“What is it about strip clubs that you can’t stay away?”
—Sportscaster James Brown interviewing former Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones, who has had repeated run-ins with the law at strip clubs, despite being told by the NFL to stay away from such establishments.
.
Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES 2009
================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

SIMONA HALEP

Image: totalprosports.com

JELENA DOKIC

Image: farm4.static.flickr.com

.

TENNIS PICTORIAL \ QUOTES

Two buxom lady tennis professionals decide on a similar remedy to improve their game.

.

Part I - Pictorial

Source: izismile.com

.

Click here to view ===> SIMONA HALEP PICTORIAL (INCL. VIDEO)

.

Part II - Quotes by and about Jenea Dokic (circa 2007)

Source: tennisforum.com

.
Going against the dictatorship of beauty, the Serbian tennis player Jelena Dokic wants to reduce the size of her breasts.

.

According to the tennis player, this surgical intervention would be beneficial for her performance on the court.

.
In a world-wide circuit where the divas earn as much as the champions, Dokic goes for the opposing side.

.

The player affirmed that the size of her breasts does not allow her to play in the level that she desires.

.

Despite the “discomfort”, the Serbian has already been number four in the ranking world-wide.

.

-------------

.

She should talk to Ann Haydon Jones a former Wimbledon Champion in 1969. She was well-endowed.

.
According to Billie Jean King, make those "gifted players" hit a backhand volley because you can hit under them, over them, and around them but you can't through them.

.

===================