SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sports.espn.go.com

CAMDEN YARDS
HOME OF BALTIMORE ORIOLES
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Image: sports.espn.go.com
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SPORTS TRIVIA \ QUOTES
ESPN selects what it considers to be the 100 most important sports venues in America
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Quote from the ESPN article:
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Rather, this is a list of America's 100 most important sports venues.
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And by that I mean the venues that have had a profound influence on the way American sports are played or have enjoyed multiple historic moments or, better yet, have had both.
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The criteria are a little open to interpretation, but one of the basics is that the venue must still be physically in existence (no Shibe Park or Ebbets Field).
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And preferably (but not necessarily), it still should be in use by someone, if not the team with which it is most associated.
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Oh, and another thing -- as you'll see, the venues need not be actual arenas of competition.
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In short, these are 100 venues that best exemplify Winston Churchill's quote regarding the bombed House of Commons:
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"We shape our buildings. And afterwards, our buildings shape us."
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Click here to view ===> 100 MOST IMPORTANT SPORTS VENUES IN AMERICA
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: unitedstatesofbaseball.com/

Image: amazon.com
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BASEBALL QUOTES
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Need a baseball quotes fix to last for the entire 2010 baseball season?
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Well, I've got your baseball quotes fix right here!!!
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GIRLS:
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Reporter: What are your plans for the off-season?
Lou Gehrig: I plan to play a lot of basketball.
Babe Ruth: I ain’t doing a thing except you-know-what.
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I’ve done some writing, too. I wrote 50 pages about baseball once and a publisher in New York called and said "I really like this. Can you throw in some screwing?"
-Norm Miller
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GRINDERS:
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[Aaron Rowand'> nearly got himself killed when he rode his dirt bike off a cliff in the desert. Now he just runs into outfield walls.
-Richard Roeper
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HAIR:
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He’s got that ‘80’s ‘do and he’s just waiting for it to come back.
-David Cone, on Paul O’Neill
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"LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"
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Click here to view ===> BASEBALL QUOTES
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-----------
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DISCLAIMER:
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The editor of this post will receive no compensation from
the source for posting this article on FSQ.
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=================

Sunday, February 14, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: in.reuters.com


Image: straight.com
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WINTER OLYMPICS QUOTES
Web site presents a collection of quotes from the completed Winter Olympics of 2010
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Quotes of the Vancouver Winter Games
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Click here to view ===> WINTER OLYMPICS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: expertclick.com



Image: csmonitor.com
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WINTER OLYMPICS QUOTES
Sports blogger lists memorable Winter Olympics quotes for the 2010 Olympics, Vancouver
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Click here to view ===> WINTER OLYMPICS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nbcbayarea.com

VANCOUVER, CANADA - HOME OF WINTER OLYMPICS 2010

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WINTER OLYMPICS QUOTES
Web site presents a slide show of the best Winter Olympics 2010 quotes
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Best of 2010 Winter Olympics Quotes
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Click here to view ===> QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: nbcolympics.com


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WINTER OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
Web site presents a slide show of the best Winter Olympics 2010 sports quotes
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Say what? Best quotes of the Games
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Click here to view ===> WINTER OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: isavesmart.com

WINTER OLYMPICS 2010 SPORTS QUOTES
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"I ate s***. That's what happened. I was pushing it. I made a couple of mistakes that caught me off guard."
- Canadian downhiller Robbie Dixon
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"The best part was we got here. And I got to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger in the village."
- Estonian skater Ilja Glebov
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"Mom, Dad, look, it's a gold one. Fresh out of the oven!"
- China's Shen Xue after winning figure skating pairs gold
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"Sometimes they don't understand me but that's OK. If they understand 90 percent of the time, then that's enough."
- China's women's ice hockey team coach Hannu Juhani Saintula who is Finnish
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"A little beer, or a little bigger beer."
- David Moeller on how he planned to celebrate his silver medal in men's luge
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"I am normally a police officer. I am studying business journalism, just to do something for my brain. I have met a lot of journalists. Some I like, some I don't."
- Moeller again
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"It is the fastest track in the world. It has the highest G-forces and it is really technical so I just had to make sure I've got it all right because I can be a bit of an airhead."
- Australian skeleton entrant Melissa Hoar
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"I had a pretty powerful moment packing that thing in my backpack."
- US snowboard gold medallist Seth Wescott on carrying his late grandfather's World War II service flag.
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=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: starpulse.com

WINTER OLYMPICS SPORTS TRIVIA
Web site provides videos of winter Olympics sports movies
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Best And Worst Winter Olympic Movies
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Click here to view ===> BEST AND WORST WINTER OLYMPICS SPORTS MOVIES
=================

Saturday, February 13, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: sports.espn.go.com


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WINTER OLYMPICS TRIVIA \ HUMOR
ESPN presents a graphic and commentary for each Winter Olympics mascot since 1968
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Editor's note:
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To view each year's graphic, click on the highlighted section within
that mascot's commentary segment.
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Click here to view ===> WINTER OLYMPICS MASCOTS
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: britishcouncil.org

Image: erzurumhotels.com
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WINTER SPORTS TRIVIA
The British Council web site presents a primer \ overview of winter sports
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For those wishing to have a better understanding of the winter
sports on display at the Winter Olympics 2010 in Vancouver,
Canada, the web site link below provides a primer \ overview
of the various sports competitions.
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Editor's note:
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Kindly note the primer is very basic and primarily designed to
entertain and educate the younger set.
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Click here to view ===> WINTER SPORTS PRIMER
=================

Friday, February 12, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

Image: iconperformanceonline.com
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HEALTH & FITNESS \ OLYMPICS HUMOR
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Just because your BMI tops the charts doesn’t mean you can’t go for the gold
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Click here to view ===> LIFE IS SHORT! EAT DESSERT FIRST!
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Source: calorielab.com
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Bonus health and fitness humor from a self-described TV fanatic:
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Friday, February 12, 2010
Another post before the Olympics start
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So the reality shows continued with Survivor starting a whole new season.
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On the crying fatties, AKA The Biggest Loser;
the contestants went to the Olympic training center in Colorado.
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How cheesy was that torch lighting?
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Not only have the Olympics never been in Colorado, but they're starting for real in Canada this week.
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They did footage of the fatties working out with the Olympic athletes.
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It was hilarious how much the real athletes underestimated the fatties.
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Oh hello, these people can actually lift 300 pounds.
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They've been doing it all their lives.
They're not using helium balloons to get them off the toilet or couch.
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Don't worry people, they still managed to get in all the in show advertizing.
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God forbid they forget to schill the gum or ziploc bags.
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This season, Bob and Jillian do not have specific teams.
I like this. It keeps them from influencing the votes.
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The problem is, in order to get more camera time, they now want to be pseudopsychologists.
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No wonder the contestants aren't losing as much weight this season;
the trainers talk with them too much.
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They should be like the Marine Sergeants yelling, "Shut up and push!"
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This show really needs to get new workout coaches. Bob and Jillian are not only not stars, but they're so 5 years ago.
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Melissa proved she didn't throw her prior weighins by actually gaining a pound this week and getting immediately booted due to that darn red line.
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Really? A weight gain?
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Next time remember to poop before the weighin you dork.
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Source: jlhaspels.blogspot.com
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cnn.com

WINTER OLYMPICS SPORTS 2010 TRIVIA
CNN presents a color-coded map to display number of Olympians from participating countries
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How many Olympians from your country are competing in the
Winter Olympics 2010 in Vancouver, Canada and in which sports
are they competing?
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Click on the web link below to view the map, then click on your
country to see what sport or sports are represented by your
country's Olympians.
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Editor's note:
Please note that if the map displays the color gray for your
country, your country will not be competing in the Winter
Olympics 2010.
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Click here to view ===> OLYMPIANS IN THE WINTER OLYMPICS 2010
=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: forbes.com


KATHERINE REUTTER

Image: qsports.net
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WINTER OLYMPICS 2010 SPORTS PICTORIAL
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Top 10 Olympians to Watch in the Winter Olympics 2010, Vancouver
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Click here to view ===> SLIDESHOW: TOP TEN OLYMPIANS TO WATCH IN 2010
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Editor's note:
For the slideshow of ten athletes, click on the OPEN icon
beneath each athlete's photo to view the athlete's profile.
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================

Thursday, February 11, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: baltimoresun,com



Image: nowpublic.com
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WINTER OLYMPICS 2010 QUOTES
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Olympics popularity issue cited in news story:
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With Vonn, is it the shin or the skin?
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Los Angeles Times columnist Bill Plaschke:
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Sadly, U.S. Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn is right. The state of women's athletics in America is such that while success is based on ability, popularity is based on beauty. It's the same at the Olympics, where the only women here who are guaranteed popularity are the ones who compete while wearing dresses. If you're not a figure skater and you want to cash in on four years of hard work and somebody asks you to pose for a magazine whose great majority of readers are men, maybe you do it.
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Here are exhibits 1-10 from a humor site to support the cited issue:
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Click here to view ===> NOW THIS IS JUST THE REASON!!!
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Possible resolution of cited issue:
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Sports is human life in microcosm.
--- Howard Cosell
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Source: quotations.about.com
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------------
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Psychology Today, where art thou?
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=================

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: hornfans.com


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COLLEGE FOOTBALL QUOTES
Web site presents quotes by College Football Hall of Fame coach Darrell K. Royal
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The Darrell K. Royal Show
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Click here to view ===> VIDEO SALUTE TO DARRELL ROYAL
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Source: youtube.com
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------------------
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Quotes by College Football Hall of Fame Coach Darrell K. Royal
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"All the white meat is gone. There's nothin' but necks on the platter."
-- Darrell K. Royal on the rest of a tough schedule after beating a couple of soft opponents.
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"That guy is a big ol' cuss.....look at him rumblin' down the field......looks like a grizzly bear haulin' a walnut."
-- Darrell K. Royal on a Baylor Tightend
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"I don't know. Never had one"
-- Darrell K. Royal to Mack Brown on how to coach a team after a losing season
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"Dance with the one that brung ya."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"Will Rogers never met Barry Switzer"
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"Winning coaches must treat mistakes like copperheads in the bedclothes - avoid them with all the energy you can muster."
-- Darrell Royal
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"Football doesn't build character. It eliminates the weak ones."
-- Darrell Royal
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"Breaks balance out. The sun don't shine on the same ol' dog's rear end every day."
-- Darrell Royal
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"He's not very fast, but maybe Elizabeth Taylor can't sing."
-- Darrell Royal about a not very fast player
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"Punt returns will kill you quicker than a minnow can swim a dipper."
-- Darrell Royal
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"You never lose a game if the opponent doesn't score."
-- Darrell Royal
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"If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn't eat 'em"
-- Darrell K. Royal.
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"Sometimes you have to suck it up and call a number "
-- Darrell Royal describing 53 Veer pass in The Shootout
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"Once you cross the 50 you feel like an unsaddled horse."
-- Darrell Royal
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"He runs like a bucket full of minnows."
-- Darrell Royal on James Saxton, 1961
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"A boy shows how much he wants to play in the spring, when it's tough, and during two a days, when it's hot and tough. I don't count on the boy who waits till October, when it's cool and fun, then decides he wants to play. Maybe he's better than three guys ahead of him, but I know those three won't change their minds in the fourth quarter."
-- Darrell Royal
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"When Earl ran, snot flew, I haven't seen any snot fly yet."
-- Darrell Royal when asked to compare Butch Hadnot to the Tyler Rose
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"I don't know if Earl's in a class by himself, but it sure don't take long to call roll."
-- Darrell Royal on Earl Campbell
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"They're like a bunch of cockroaches. It's not what they eat and tote off, it's what they fall into and mess up that hurts."
-- Darrell Royal on TCU
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"Don't matter what they throw at us. Only angry people win football games"
-- Darrell Royal
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"I had hoped God would be neutral"
-- Darrell Royal on seeing a sign in front of a church reading Darrell Royal, Cast not thy steers before swine. before the 1969 Game of the Century
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"Old ugly is better than old nothin'"
-- Darrell Royal
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"You've got to think lucky. If you fall into a mudhole, check your back pocket - you might have caught a fish"
-- Darrell Royal
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"It was like having a big ol' lollipop in your mouth and the first thing you know all you have is the stick."
-- Darrell Royal on losing a game in the last minute
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"Give me a guy with his jaw stuck out, his shirt sleeves rolled up and who swaggers when he walks. I know its Harry High School, but if I have to make a choice I'll take the cocky, over-confident, conceited kid, over the one who has so much humility he can't look you in the eye"
-- Darrell Royal
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"If everything had already been done, there would be nothing left for young people to accomplish. There are always going to be people who run faster, jump higher, dive deeper, and come up drier"
-- Darrell Royal
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"A head coach is guided by this main objective: dig, claw, wheedle, coax that fanatical effort out of the players. You want them to play every Saturday as if they were planting the flag on Iwo Jima."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"He__, no. I'm not going to candy this thing up. These are work clothes."
-- Darrell K. Royal on fancy, striped uniforms
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"Every coach likes those players who, like trained pigs, will grin and jump right in the slop."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"You're what-iffing now and everybody can what-if."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"He runs faster than small-town gossip."
-- Darrell K. Royal on the speed of halfback James Saxton
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"The only thing that disturbs me about my profession is the fact that people give you too much credit when you win and too much criticism when you lose. I'll be the same person and do the same things and say the same things when we lose. But people won't believe me then. I won't change, but the people will."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"To say we were the only ones aggressive would be like a skunk telling an opossum his breath smells. "
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"Just as happy as a gopher in soft dirt."
-- Darrell K. Royal when asked how he felt about beating Notre Dame in the same Cotton Bowl.
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"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"There is no such thing as defeat except when it comes from within. As long as a person doesn't admit he is defeated, he is not defeated-he's just a little behind and isn't through fighting."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"Next to weather, there is no equalizer like two fired-up football teams"
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"We're not exactly a rolling ball of butcher knives."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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After being named a full tenured professor after winning the national championship of 1963, the student paper roasted Royal. During the middle of the controversy, a writer found Royal at his desk with a deep frown on his face. When asked what was bothering him, Darrell replied: I've been sitting here ten minutes trying to figure out if 'professor' has one or two 'f's'.
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"The tail should never wag the dog, but as long as football is in its proper place on the campus, then it's good. I want to be remembered as a winning coach, but I also want to be remembered as an honest and ethical coach."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?"
-- Darrell K Royal, when asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning
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"You've got to be in a position for luck to happen. Luck doesn't go around looking for a stumblebum."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"He's smoother than smoke through a keyhole."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"We're just as average as everyday wash."
-- Darrell K. Royal
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"Fat people don't offend me. What offends me is losing with fat people."
-- Darrel K Royal
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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: thoughtsfromthejockstrap.com


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SPORTS HUMOR
Sports blogger lists his choices for worst athlete names in sports history
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=================

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

SPORTS ANNOUNCER MICHAEL BUFFER

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SPORTS QUOTES
Sports announcer Michael Buffer presents his trademarked fight intro on video
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Click here to view ===> MICHAEL BUFFER'S FIGHT INTRO
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Source: youtube.com
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Click here to view ===> MICHAEL BUFFER'S ONLINE BIO
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Source: wikipedia.com
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Click here to view ===> HOW TO TRADEMARK YOUR CATCH PHRASE
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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: i4u.com

SUPER BOWL 2010 GRAPHICS WINNER
FOR FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES POST:
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS CHEERLEADERS
(WATCH OUT, DALLAS CHEERLEADERS!!!)
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NFL FOOTBALL HUMOR \ QUOTES
Web site presents its annual Super Bowl for Geeks Guide ( 2010 ads, no NFL quotes )
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Super Bowl 2010 Ads that You can Watch Already Now
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Who's lazy?
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You do all the pointing and clicking on the Super Bowl
2010 Ads link below while I busily work checking out
the graphics for some more NFL cheerleader graphics
for later NFL posts - you can do it, point and click!!!
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You'll thank me because the i4u.com site presents so
many viewing options in the link, you'll want to do all
the pointing and clicking yourself!
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Who's lazy?
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Oh no, not the kid! (Thanks, Richard Pryor, (r.i.p.))
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LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!
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Click here to view ===> SUPER BOWL 2010 ADS
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TIME OUT!!!
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My conscience is bothering me about the lazy editor,
so to show you I'm not really that lazy, here are some
quotes so you will not suffer a quote withdrawal on
my watch!!!
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Super Bowl 2010 Media Day Highlights:
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Love the Super Bowl Shuffle? Entertainment Tonight delivered the 2010 version, showcasing several Colts and Saints players in its 'Super Bowl Idol' contest. Though official results have yet to be announced, ESPN reported Saints' tight end Tyler Lorenzen took home the coveted award.
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Colts' coach Jim Caldwell took home the award for Most Educated Quote when he recited several lines from "Invictus", the William Ernest Henley poem quoted liberally in Clint Eastwood's recent movie with the same title.
"In the fell clutch of circumstance/ I have not winced nor cried aloud/ Under the bludgeonings of chance/ My head is bloody, but unbowed."
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No reporter in attendance created more buzz than Bengals' wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, who came with a crew of NFL players in the debut of the Ochocinco News Network. ONN's highlight came not from its reporting but from Ochocinco's Twitter feed, where he offered such gems as:
"Please mainstream media don't be mad at me for doing the job you guys have failed to do correctly, giving the fans what they really want"
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ESPN's John Banks wrested the Random Piece of Information Award from Colts punter Pat McAfee, who admitted he's worn the same $6 diamond earrings since high school.
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Quote of the Day: Peyton Manning on Drew Brees' golf game:
"He can bust it. He can flat-out pound it. I know he was incredibly long in college and I'm sure he is even longer now."
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One more tweet from Ochocinco, this time in response to criticism from ESPN's First Take:
"Man this media thing is really cool, for those hating on first take id be the reason you get fired if I wanted to work there. Child please".
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Source (Media Day section): atlanticwire.theatlantic.com.
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--------------------
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You say you want more quotes?
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Well, I've got more quotes right here!!!
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Proof There Is Such a Thing as a Stupid Question (at Media Day):
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It’s the place where a Japanese reporter once asked of San Francisco 49ers quarterback Joe Montana, "Tell me, why do they call you Boomer?"
(Well, they don’t actually. That would be Boomer Esiason, the Cincinnati quarterback.)
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It’s where someone asked Tennessee Titans defensive tackle Joe Salave’a, "What’s your relationship with the football?"
To which Salave’a said, "I’d say it’s strictly platonic."
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Asked how he got psyched to play in big games, Buffalo’s great running back Thurman Thomas sniffed, "I read the newspapers and look at all the stupid questions you all ask."
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Not sure if that was the Super Bowl where Thomas lost two fumbles in a 30-13 loss or the one where he couldn’t find his helmet and missed the first few plays in a 37-24 loss.
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Media Day is where Downtown Julie Brown, formerly of MTV, asked Dallas running back Emmitt Smith, "What are you going to wear in the game Sunday?"
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Where Rams’ quarterback Kurt Warner was asked, "Do you believe in voodoo and can I have a lock of your hair?"
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Where Denver running back Detron Smith was asked, "What size panties do you think you’d wear?"
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Where a St. Louis player found himself pondering the grammatical conundrum contained within the question, "Is Ram a noun or a verb?"
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So you get Dallas quarterback Troy Aikman in Super Bowl XXXII being asked, "Are you going to listen to Stevie Wonder perform at halftime?"
(Sure thing. What else would he be doing at halftime except shushing the coaches so he could hear "Don’t You Worry About a Thing"?)
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Source: mentalfloss.com
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-----------------
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Done!
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Now back to the old salt mines ( Google images )
for the very laborious search for the next NFL
cheerleader graphics for the next NFL post or
whatever on FSQ!
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==================