FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: See body of message

BASEBALL QUOTES
Web site presents quotes by ex-major league player Andy Van Slyke.
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•"Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon."

•"I have an Alka Seltzer bat. You know, plop plop fizz fizz. When the pitcher sees me walking up there they say, 'Oh what a relief it is.'"

•"It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game."

•"Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro."

•"My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money."

•"They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks."
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Source: quotesup.com
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Bonus : Quotes by ex-major league player John "Brother Low" Lowenstein.
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"I flush the john between innings to keep my wrists strong (fitness tip for designated hitters)."
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"Sure, I screwed up that sacrifice bunt. But look at it this way: I'm a better bunter than a billion Chinese."
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"The secret to keeping winning streaks going is to maximize the victories while at the same time minimizing the defeats*
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"If you act like you know what you're doing, you can do anything you want - except neurosurgery."
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"Nuclear war would render all baseball statistics meaningless"
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"Baseball is reality at its harshest... You have to introduce a fictional world to survive."
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Source: baseball-reference.com
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