FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: cockytalk.com

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES STRIKES AGAIN!

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: groups.google.com

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BOXING QUOTES
Quotes on boxing from a user's group
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>My favorite Ali quote of all time:
> > " If I say a cow can lay an egg, don't argue with me. Go get the skillet."
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I was also appalled when Vinnie Paz or Camacho said "My face beamed with delight as I heard his jaw crack" after breaking an opponent's jaw in a fight.
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*Even at this stage of his career, he is ready to be heavyweight champion of the world. He throws every punch with bad intentions and if he hits them they will go*
Cus D'amato on Tyson when he was only 16 yrs old.
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"Philadelphia is the only town where you can see two winos duking it out in some alley, and they're throwing double jabs."
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Ok, I don't know if this is true or not but it's funny anyway. I don't think it has to do with boxing but it does involve Ali.
Ali was on a plane when a stewardess asked him to fasten his seatbelt.
Ali replied: "Superman don't need no seat belt."
Replied the stewardess: "Superman don't need no plane."
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One of my favorite boxing quotes is from a guy who was a regular at bar where I was working once. This man, John, was legally blind, but when he was younger, and could see, he boxed some in the army. He once told me about a fight in which he got badly outclassed. Talking about the other fighter he said:
"He had his hands in my face so much that the only time I ever saw him was between rounds."
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In 'shooting from the lip' where Ali and Cus d'Amato banter about boxing, Ali gets Cus playfully riled up.
Cus says to Ali "I'm going to provoke you into hitting me and it will cost you a million dollars".
Ali quickly replies "Who is going to collect it? You're beneficieries?"
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FUNNY SPORT QUOTES \ Source: moviequotes.com

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BASKETBALL QUOTES \ INSULTS
Basketball quotes \ insults from movies
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You wanna run? you mean play basketball? NO icehocky, get your tired but up her
Gretzsky
White Men Can't Jump - 1992
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I Told yo stupid white ass lookin like Woody Harrison muthafucker that u can't jump man! Yo jumpin is like yo dick becuz its short. Tryin to play basketball man u tryin to be like Larry Bird
White Men Can't Jump - 1992
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Billy): Hey yo chump! Yeah you Mr. Potatoe Head, I'm talking to you. Is that the best game you got 'cos if it is you may as well grab that free t-shirt and head on home. And who you got with you there? Mighty Mouse? Hey you're too pretty to play basketball you know that! Hey You got that big Z in your fro man what you get your hair cut at the braille institute?!!What are you the black zorro!?
(Flight): What the fuck is O.P Taylor talking about anyway?
(Billy): OP taylor? Op Taylor? I got your Op you big bad gomer pile droopy eyed son of a bitch!!! (Billy): What you still putting up bricks, you still putting up bricks, CLANG!CLANG! I like need a welder torch to play in this league here! Hey, I tell you what, Lets just gather up all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless! So maybey your mother has a place to stay!
(Willie): yo fuck you man!
(Flight): Fuck that fucker man!
(Billy): I want your mother and your sister out of my house immediately!
White Men Can't Jump - 1992
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#1:) It says here that the rich and famous people hang out the polo lounge. I don't know nothin' about no damn polo.
#2:) Then look up in the book and see if you can find a basketball lounge!
B*A*P*S - 1997
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Whitmore): May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?
Dr. Hackenbush): Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.
Day at the Races, A - 1937
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Sometimes it's a good day to die, and sometimes it's a good day to play basketball.
Smoke Signals - 1998
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Alonzo Harris: You disloyal, fool-ass, bitch made punk! You think you can do this to me! I run shit here! Y'all just live here! who the fuck y'all think you messing with!I'm running cases on all your asses! 24-hour lockdown, baby! Y'all be playing basketball on Pelican bay!
Training Day - 2001
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1)He plays the game like he's eleven feet tall.
2)No,I don't think he's that big,Jerry.
1)No,he plays the game like that of a viking giant with a basketball in one hand and club in the other.
Bedazzled - 2000
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If you love basketball so much then why are you boning me? Why don't you go bone Dick Vitale? Love & Basketball - 2000
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You gold teeth-gold chain wearin, fried chicke and biscuit eatin, monkey, ape, baboon, bog thigh, fast runnin, 360 degree basketball dunkin spade Moulan Yan.
Do the Right Thing - 1989
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1. Who wouldn't you rather play basketball? I know how to play that. We could be like a team for the MacMillan company. I'm not very good at sports, my best sport is video hockey.
2. That isn't a sport.
1. Well it takes eye to hand coordination.
2. It's not a sport unless you sweat.
1. What about golf, you don't sweat.
2. Its not a sport if you're letting some machine do all the work.
1. What about car racing?
2. Oh shut up Baskins!
Big - 1988
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After a long day of crime fighting, I like to play a little basketball.
Toxic Avenger, Part II, The - 1989
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Scott: Your not fallin' through.
Roberta: Who asked you?!
(Scott walks on)
Roberta: Hey! (throws the basketball to Scott)
(play basketball with eachother for a few minutes)
Scott: Your pretty good.
Roberta: Thanks.
Scott: you know not just for a girl you know, for a guy.
Roberta: Thanks.... um hey you wana pop or something?
Scott: Yeah that'll be great.
Now and Then - 1995
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Biff's walking down the street when a basketball suddenly comes bouncing to him. Biff takes it. Some young kids run up to him.
Kids: Give us our ball back.
Biff: (Teasing holds it up) Is this your ball?
Kids: Yes.
Biff: And do you want it back?
Kids: Yes.
Biff throws the ball onto a 2nd story balcony of a brown house.
Biff: Well, go get it! Ha! Ha!
Back to the Future Part II - 1989
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Beth *animated*: Listen, Lane! You forget! Chris Cummins dates the basketball team! Not certain members of the team, Lane! The WHOLE TEAM!
Better Off Dead... - 1985
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Oh, great. We got a pro basketball team coming toward us. With guns!
Red Heat - 1988
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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white chick?....Throw them a basketball
Full Metal Jacket - 1987
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i like sex the way i play basketball. one-on-one with no unnecessary dribbling
Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult - 1994
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1) I go to the university!
2) Which one?
1) The University of America!
2) I've never heard of that one.
1) It is a very small university. They do not even have a basketball team.
Coming to America - 1988
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I thought everybody in Indiana played basketball.
Hoosiers - 1986
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Do you know any good white basketball players? There are no good white basketball players, my friend.
Top Secret! - 1984
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Mary-kate- No Ashley. When a player gets hit in basketball it's called a foul.
Ashley- I thought a foul was when the ball gets hit out of bounds
Mary-kate- that's baseball
Ashley- So what's it called when the ball goes out of bounds in basketball
Mary-kate- Out of bounds!
Ashley- Now that makes sense
Mary-kate- It all makes sense!
Two of a Kind - 1983
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Hey, i know you, you're Kareem Abdul Jabbar....you play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers Airplane! - 1980
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Basketball is staying in after school in your underwear.
Drive, He Said - 1971
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No, I don't hate you, John. I just hate basketball!
Meet Me in St. Louis - 1944
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: imdb.com

SPORTS MOVIE QUOTES
Quotes about high school wrestling
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Plot summary for Vision Quest (1985)
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Vision Quest is a coming of age movie in which high school wrestler Louden Swain (Matthew Modine) decides he wants to be something more than an average high school athlete and sets his sights on a prize that many don't think he can win -- he then sets out to reach his goal alone, without much support from his father or coach. His father rents a room to a young drifter, Carla (Linda Fiorentino). Swain falls in love with her and she helps him stay focused and prevents him from losing sight of his goals. Although a lower-budget film than Flashdance or Top Gun, this movie is similar in theme and style. Madonna makes her first appearance in a major motion picture as a lead singer in a local band performing her hit songs "Crazy For You" and "Gambler".
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Written by Lynanne Fowle {lynanne@thefowles.com}
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Click here to view ===> QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tt.tennis-warehouse.com

AND THE WINNER IS....?

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TENNIS HUMOR

A tennis forum member categorizes famous tennis players as ugly or not!

What do you think?

To view a player, click on the player's name and the player's photo will display!

Click here to view ===> BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER!

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: baltimoresun.com

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OLYMPICS SPORTS QUOTES
Quotes, videos, and photographs of Michael Phelps and other
Beijing Olympiads, 2008
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Hometown hero
More than 30,000 fans herald Michael Phelps' return to Baltimore area
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Click here to view ===> THE BALTIMORE BULLET
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bleacherreport.com

Irina Korzhanenko, shotputter

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TRACK AND FIELD QUOTES

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Barney Corkhill's Great Quotes series moves from cricket to athletics in general.

Here is his first list of top 20 for athletics.

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Click here to view ===> QUOTES

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References to:

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Irina Korzhanenko \ Maree Holland \ David Moorcroft

Gavin McDougald \ Ben Johnson \ Ross King \ Derek Redmond

Max Jones \ Diane Modahl \ Tony Jarrett \ Mike Gratton

Jade Goody \ Brendan Foster \ Linford Christie

Victoria Derbyshire \ Ronnie Corbett \ Kim Collins \ Sebastian Coe

Adrian Chiles \ Zola Budd \ Ian Mackie \ Ato Boldon \ Jamie Baulch

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: bartleby.com

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AMERICAN FOOTBALL QUOTES
Quotes cited by Simpson’s Contemporary Quotations, 1988.
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Dave Currey, University of Cincinnati football coach
QUOTATION: We don’t have any refrigerators. We have a few potbelly stoves, but they’re on the coaching staff.
ATTRIBUTION: Referring to Chicago Bears player William “Refrigerator” Perry, Sports Illustrated 2 Dec 85
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George Thoma, grounds keeper
QUOTATION: Grass grows by inches but it’s killed by feet.
ATTRIBUTION: On care of Kansas City football field, NBC TV 21 Jan 87
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London Times
QUOTATION: American football is an occasion at which dancing girls, bands, tactical huddles and television commercial breaks are interrupted by short bursts of play.
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Frank Leahy, former University of Notre Dame football coach
QUOTATION: Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
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Doug Weaver, former Kansas State University football coach
QUOTATION: I’m glad it happened in front of the library. I’ve always emphasized scholarship. ATTRIBUTION: On being hanged in effigy, Sports Illustrated 9 Jun 86
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Terry Brennan, University of Notre Dame football coach
QUOTATION: If you’re old and you lose, they say you’re outmoded. If you’re young and you lose, they say you’re green. So don’t lose.
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Alex Agase, University of Michigan, assistant football coach
QUOTATION: If you really want to advise me, do it on Saturday afternoon between 1 and 4 o’clock. And you’ve got 25 seconds to do it, between plays. Not on Monday. I know the right thing to do on Monday.
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Barry Switzer, University of Oklahoma football coach
QUOTATION: It was like a heart transplant. We tried to implant college in him but his head rejected it.
ATTRIBUTION: On player who dropped out of school, Sports Illustrated 12 Nov 73
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