SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: timesonline.co.uk.com

The 50 sporting couples

From the curious courtship Sol Campbell enjoyed with Martina Hingis to the striking partnership Karren Brady has with Paul Peschisolido, sport has long inspired heart-melting love stories. Tom Dart profiles the most memorable

No 4: Jimmy Connors and Chris Evert

No 4: Jimmy Connors and Chris Evert

50 Alan Mullally and Chelsey Mardon
He was only medium pace, but the netballer was still bowled over by the former England left-armer and swapped life Down Under for a move to Leicestershire.

49 Thomas Grandi and Sara Renner
Grandi, the top technical skier in Canadian history, ended his 14-year career in March. His wife, of the cross-country flavour, won Olympic silver in Turin. They have a baby daughter, the sweetly-named Aria.

48 Jamie Delgado and Anne Keothavong
The British mixed doubles pair were loved-up when they entered Wimbledon but all out of love by the time they were knocked out in the first round. Since first-round losses are standard practice in British tennis, it's impossible to say whether the split contributed to their downfall.

47 Kirsty Gallagher and Paul Sampson
Another TV presenter, another ex-international rugby winger (see Gaby and Kenny, in the second part of the list). And she's the daughter of the former golfer, Bernard Gallagher.

46 Jill Douglas and Carl Hogg
And another rugby-media coupling. Douglas is a BBC Sport presenter and her husband used to play for Scotland and is now on the coaching staff at Gloucester.

45 Lin Dan and Xie Xingfang
Expect to hear more about these two in the run-up to the Beijing Olympics. Stars in China, they are the best male and female badminton players in the world. And celebrated victory in Birmingham earlier this year with a trip on the city's big wheel. Aww.

44 Bret Hedican and Kristi Yamaguchi
Ice maiden Yamaguchi met the man who would melt her heart at the opening ceremony of the 1992 Winter Olympics. He was an unremarkable ice hockey defenceman, while she won a figure-skating gold. Hedican now plays in the NHL for the Carolina Hurricanes and they have two ice, ice babies.

43 Colin Montgomerie and Ines Sastre
Ines, a keen amateur golfer and the face of Lancome, and Monty, the face of not winning Majors, met at the Dunhill Masters. As so often for the Scot, it began well but ended tamely.

42 Mark Bradtke and Nicole Provis
It's nice to have a husband to look up to. And Nicole Provis, who reached the French Open semi-finals as an 18-year-old in 1988, certainly did when she got hitched to a fellow Aussie: Bradtke, a former NBA basketball player, is 6ft 10in.

41 Chris Rawlinson and Jana Pittman
The Australian hurdler, a Commonwealth Games gold-medallist, divided public opinion Down Under after a spat with Tamsyn Lewis, her fellow athlete. Lewis criticised the publicity Pittman received after a knee injury and described their rivalry as a "bitchfight". Don't worry, Jana, Rawlinson loves you. The Brit, her coach, also a hurdler and now retired, married her last year and they have a baby, Cornelis.

40 LaVar Arrington and Serena Williams
According to the American press, it was LaVar at first sight for Williams, who reportedly dated the American footballer. It was also strongly rumoured that Williams was stepping out with the NFL star Keyshawn Johnson.

39 Laird Hamilton and Gabrielle Reece
This American pair are easy on the eye. She is a former professional volleyball champion and he is a legendary surfer. Both are 6ft 3in ex-models. They wed in 1997 and named their daughter Reece, like Mom's surname. Radical, dude.

38 Jennie Finch and Casey Daigle
Daigle, a pitcher, made the Major Leagues at 23 with the Arizona Diamondbacks. Since, he is back in the minor leagues, his career having (as Americans would say) "tanked". On the plus side, he is married to Finch, a 6ft blonde softball superstar who regularly strikes out Major League men on her television show. They have a young son called Ace.

37 Kelly Robbins and Karrie Webb
A 2002 biography of Webb, the private Australian who is one of golf's all-time greats, "outed" her by revealing she was in a long-term relationship with another leading LPGA pro, Robbins, an American.

36 Billie Jean Moffitt and Larry King
The pair married in 1965. In 1971, she began a relationship with her secretary, which became public a decade later when the woman sued the tennis star for support payments. She divorced her sports promoter husband in 1987 and now lives with Ilana Kloss, a former professional tennis player.

35 Don Drysdale and Ann Meyers
Meyers, the first American female basketball star, was signed by the Indiana Pacers – a men's team – for $50,000 in 1979. She was cut after three days but forged a career as a player, broadcaster, coach and now general manager. She met her husband, the late Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher, on a TV show. He proposed on their first date.

34 Matt Treanor and Misty May
Don't let the poetic name fool you, May is a serious athlete. After all, she won a gold medal for beach volleyball at the Athens Olympics. Her husband is a catcher with the Florida Marlins baseball team. "She plays in a bathing suit, so of course teammates say stuff," he has said.

33 Greg Norman and Chris Evert
The Great White Shark – no, not the one off the coast of Cornwall – is in the midst of a messy and very costly divorce which is holding up play with Evert, his new squeeze. She has been there and done that, most recently with Andy Mills, the former US skiing champion, with whom she was married for 18 years.

32 Jamie Murray and Jelena Jankovic
They say they're not dating, but the flirtatious Wimbledon mixed doubles champions have so much chemistry that they deserve to be on this list. Jankovic said she had promised Murray kisses to motivate him.

31 Mary Decker and Richard Slaney
The American was decked by Zola Budd's feet in the 3,000m final at the 1984 Olympics and Slaney, her British fiancé and a discus thrower, carried the sobbing athlete from the track. They married a year later.

30 Karren Brady and Paul Peschisolido
The Birmingham City managing director said she would never date a footballer because they are "only interested in drinking, clothes and the size of their willies". Naturally, she married one. And the relationship endured even after she sold him to Stoke City.

29 Marion Jones and Obadele Thompson
Once a millionaire, in June, Jones told a court that she is down to her last $2,000 after a series of legal battles since her name was linked to the Balco steroids scandal. Aged 31, she lives in Austin, Texas, with her new husband. Thompson, from Barbados, was a bronze medallist in the 100 metres in Sydney. They married in March.

28 Sol Campbell and Martina Hingis
The Swiss Miss is, we read, known as the "Black Widow" because her lovers get hurt or vanish. Sol: disappeared to Belgium not long after they split. Radek Stepanek: nerve injury, form collapsed. The same goes for Magnus Norman, Justin Gimselstob and Julian Alonso and Ivo Heuberger (who? Exactly). The coupling with the former Arsenal defender was love through Adidas: they met at a publicity launch in 2004. Alas, it did not last, whether because of their busy schedules or because Sol is about three foot taller than Hingis and she was suffering from neck-ache every time she looked up into his eyes.

27 Martina Hingis and Radek Stepanek
Breaking breaking-up news: on Monday the pair announced their engagement is off. Stepanek, the Czech player ranked 60th in the world, popped the question in December 2006. "They will remain good friends", a spokesman assures.

26 Paula Radcliffe and Gary Lough
The First Lady of British distance running married her coach, a former 1,500 metre runner. Their daughter, Isla, was born in January this year. Lough infamously carpeted his wife at the finish line for ignoring their race strategy after she had finished fourth in the 10,000 metres in the 2001 World Championships but, in her book, Radcliffe says he is "amazing".

25 Debra Searle and Andrew Veal
In 2001, the married couple set off to row their way 3,000 miles across the Atlantic. Unfortunately, Veal rapidly developed an irrational fear of the ocean – highly inconvenient, in the circumstances. He gave up, but she carried on alone and made it all the way in 111 days. They later divorced.

24 Jackie Joyner and Bob Kersee
Joyner-Kersee was coached to track glory by her husband, winning more athletics medals than any other American woman. "Her performances are like a great opera or concert," Kersee said. "I feel like I should be wearing a tux when I watch them."

23 Henri Leconte and Marie Sara
The wacky French tennis player tied the knot with Europe's top female bullfighter in 1995. "It's the greatest bullfight of my life," Sara said. Their marriage was speared to death after just four years.

22 Bart Conner and Nadia Comaneci
The gymnasts met at the American Cup at Madison Square Garden in 1976, where both won titles. She was 18, he was 14. They married 20 years later and live in Oklahoma. "Most guys brag that their wives are a 10," Conner said. "My wife IS the 10."

21 Al Joyner and Florence Griffith
They met at the 1980 US Olympic trials and married in 1987, a year before the flamboyantly-fingernailed Flo-Jo broke the 100m and 200m world records at Seoul. Dogged by allegations of drug-taking, which were never proved, she died in her sleep in 1998, aged 38, suffocating after an epileptic seizure caused by a congenital brain defect.

20 Nick Faldo and Brenna Cepelak
In the mid-Nineties, Faldo's second wife, Gill, was miffed to discover that he was teeing off with an American college golfer, Brenna Cepelak. But the birdie was to turn bogey. When he ended the relationship in 1999, Cepelak attacked his Porsche with a nine-iron.

19 Suzanne Dando and Andy Gray
The Sky Sports analyst and former Everton and Scotland forward has scored off the pitch almost as many times as on it. He is the father of five children with four different women. Two of his sons are called Jamie. He met Dando, the former Olympic gymnast, when she landed a job with Sky Sports in 2000. "With age, I hope, comes maturity. I certainly do not see myself with anyone else," he said that year. He ended the relationship in 2005 and has since been the victim of "kiss and tell" tabloid exposes.

18 Gabby and Kenny Logan
Kenny, the former Scotland winger, chatted up the BBC presenter and Times writer in a London pub thinking she was the TV host Gaby Roslin. Gabby, a former Commonwealth gymnast and the daughter of Terry Yorath, the ex-Wales manager, let him off and they are happily married with twins.

17 Alyson Annan and Carol Thate
The world's best hockey player around the turn of the century, Annan scored 149 goals in 201 games for Australia's team. She captained them to gold at the Sydney Olympics, then left her husband – Maximiliano Caldas, an Argentinian hockey player – for Thate, the Dutch skipper of the bronze-medallists. She then retired and moved to Holland. "The culture in Holland is somewhat 'free of opinion' – I like that," Annan said.

16 Mildred "Babe" Didrikson Zaharias and Betty Dodd
You could say Zaharias was versatile: the American was brilliant at almost every sport. She qualified in five events for the 1932 Olympics. Three years later she took up golf and won 82 tournaments over 20 years. "Is there anything you don't play?" she was asked. "Yeah, dolls." She married George Zaharias, a former wrestler, in 1939 but then met Betty Dodd, a golfer two decades her junior. All three spent time together until Mildred died in 1956.

15 Zara Phillips and Richard Johnson
Sporting royalty and actual royalty. Phillips, the reigning BBC Sports Personality of the year for her eventing efforts, had a tumultuous three-year coupling with Johnson, the National Hunt star, before their relationship hit the wall. Fence. Whatever.

14 Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall
Phillips trotted on to England and Gloucester's 2003 World Cup-winning outside centre. There are suggestions they will marry, but hold your horses, it hasn't been announced yet.

13 Jose Mourinho and Jose Mourinho
The Chelsea manager/Special One oozes self-love. And he's handsome, rich, successful and brilliant, so why not?

12 CJ Hunter and Marion Jones
Jones, the American sprinter who won five medals – three gold – at Sydney. But she has since been tainted by a series of drugs allegations, which she denies. She married the, er, bulky, shot-putter in 1998. They divorced in 2001, after Hunter was kicked out of the 2000 Olympics for failing a drugs test.

11 Marion Jones and Tim Montgomery
After ditching Hunter Jones went for someone a bit quicker – Tim Montgomery, the former 100m world record holder. Montgomery missed the premature birth of Tim Junior in 2003. "We knew we'd have a fast baby, but I wasn't expecting him to be this fast," he said. Unfortunately, Montgomery then received a drugs ban and the relationship ended pretty rapidly as well.

10 Martina Hingis and Sergio Garcia
The playboy of plus-fours dated Hingis in 2002, when he was a temperamental 22-year-old. She was 21, and they were both ranked fourth in the world in their sports. The Spaniard has also stepped out with the actress Jessica Alba and the model Nikki Novak and is now on course with Greg Norman's daughter.

9 Kim Clijsters and Lleyton Hewitt
Kylie and Jason – but with balls! Wimbledon mixed-doubles finalists in 2001, these former world number ones got engaged in 2003 when the man possibly named after a drab East London suburb popped the question during a boat trip around Sydney harbour. Less than a year later, it was mysteriously off.

8 Anna Kournikova and Mark Philippoussis
"How do you tell a fit, eligible young man that it's probably not a good idea to spend the night with Anna Kournikova before a big match?" Pat Cash, the Aussie's former coach, wondered. The studly Scud was last seen on a US reality TV show, Age of Love, dating 14 women to find his perfect match.

7 Ronaldo and Milene Domingues
Aged 17, the former model broke the world keepy-uppy record. But the pair couldn't keep up their love. A superb player in her own right, Milene turned out for Atletico Madrid ladies while hubby did his stuff for Real Madrid. They married in 1999 and had baby Ronald in 2000. "My wife Milene and I eat a lot at McDonald's and there you have Ronald McDonald so we chose Ronald," Ronaldo explained. In 2003 the marriage ended and in 2005 he split from his new fiancée, Daniela Cicarelli. He had exchanged vows with the MTV presenter just three months earlier, on Valentine's Day, but the ceremony held no legal status because he hadn't yet divorced Milene. Doh!

6 John Lloyd and Chris Evert
The rising star of British tennis and the American glamour girl. In 1980 they played a charity mixed-doubles match against Bjorn Borg and his fiancée, Mariana Simionescu, a Romanian player. And won. But in 1987 they swapped tennis courts for the divorce courts.

5 Nomar Garciaparra and Mia Hamm
The baseball star, once an elite hitter with the Boston Red Sox, now struggling with the Los Angeles Dodgers, met the biggest superstar in women's football at a charity event in 1998. Finding plenty in common, it wasn't long before they got beyond first base. After Hamm divorced her college sweetheart, she married Garciaparra in 2004 and twin girls were born in March this year.

4 Chris Evert and Jimmy Connors
It seemed like the ultimate love match. They became engaged in 1974, the year both won Wimbledon singles titles, and danced to "The Girl That I Marry" at the champions' ball. "It was the happiest time of my life," Evert said. Beep! Double-fault! They split a few months later, shortly before their planned wedding.

3 Faria Alam and Sven-Goran Eriksson and Mark Palios
She, the sultry secretary; he, the stack-heeled Swede. And then there was Mark Palios, the FA chief executive. Revelations in the summer of 2004 that Alam had affairs with both triggered an earthquake within English football's governing body. Palios was forced to resign. Sven? Cleared of any wrongdoing by the FA, who obviously weren't taking the England team's record in major tournaments into account.

2 Pavel Bure and Anna Kournikova and Sergei Federov
A Russian love triangle made in America. Two NHL stars, one woman, plenty of mystery. Kournikova allegedly accepted a marriage proposal from Bure while she was engaged to Federov, who later said that they had wed – and divorced – in secret. Apparently, the wedding was during Wimbledon fortnight; strangely, Kournikova had a window in her diary. Federov claimed that her flirting with Bure and Enrique Iglesias doomed the union. "This love was worse than a bout of flu," he said. "It lasted longer and hit me harder."

1 Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi
The pair began courting after each won the French Open in 1999, though it was a case of different strokes for different folks: "She would practise from 8 to 10 in the morning and … I wouldn't wake up till noon," Agassi said. Yet with the help of her love he averted his decline and became world number one. They wed in Las Vegas in 2001, a week before Graf gave birth to their first child, Jaden Gil. Their other kid is called Jaz.




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