SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Sunday, April 6, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: britishcouncil.org


WINTER SPORTS - TRIVIA \ QUOTES:
 
History
The exact time and process by which humans first learned to ice skate is not known, though archaeologists believe the activity was widespread. The convenience and efficiency of ice skating to cross large, icy areas is shown in archaeological evidence by the finding of primitive animal bone ice skates in places such as Russia, Scandinavia, Great Britain, the Netherlands, Germany, and Switzerland. The first recorded skates were found at the bottom of a lake in Switzerland and dated back to 3000BC. The runners were made from bones of cattle. They were ground down until they formed a flat gliding surface, and thongs tied them to the feet.
Persons
Sondre Norheim, born Sondre Auverson, (June 10, 1825 – March 9, 1897) was a Norwegian skier and pioneer of modern skiing. Born at Øverbø and raised in Morgedal in the municipality of Kviteseid in Telemark, he took to downhill skiing as a recreational activity, rising to local fame for his skills. He made important innovations in skiing technology by designing new equipment, such as different bindings and shorter skis with curved sides to facilitate turns. In 1868 he won the first national skiing competition in Christiania, beating his younger competitors by a large margin. His reputation grew, and eventually made Norwegian words like ski and slalom known worldwide.
At the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City, the men's 1000 m short track event saw one of the unlikeliest results in sports history. Australian Steven Bradbury, who would have been eliminated in the quarterfinals but for the disqualification of Marc Gagnon, advanced to the final when three of the four other competitors in his semifinal crashed out on the final lap. In the final, Bradbury was fifth going into the final lap, when another collision left him the last man standing. Bradbury was able to avoid the pileup, becoming the first Winter Olympic gold medallist from the Southern Hemisphere. Many Australians saw this as a painfully humorous example of the country's struggle for competitiveness in winter sports, being that it took for all other competitors to crash for an Aussie to win. The phrase "to do a Bradbury" has since entered the Australian lexicon meaning to succeed through the failure of others.
Film
Cool Runnings (1993): directed by Jon Turteltaub and starring Leon, Doug E. Doug, Rawle D. Lewis and Malik Yoba. Tagline: One Dream. Four Jamaicans. Twenty Below Zero. Plot outline: Based on the true story of the First Jamacian bobsled team trying to make it to the winter olympics.
Numbers
The Yukon Quest Sled Dog Race is an international dog mushing race held every February.
A single musher ("driver") and a team of 12 to 14 sled dogs race for 10 to 14 days, following the historic 1890's Klondike Gold Rush and river mail delivery routes. The mushers, who must pack up to 250 lbs of equipment and provisions for themselves and the sled dogs, are permitted to drop the sled dogs for rest, are not allowed to replace the sled, and cannot accept any help except when they reach Dawson City, Yukon, the halfway mark of the race. Ten checkpoints, some more than 200 miles (300 km) apart, and 4 dog drops lie along the trail.
The race route runs on frozen rivers, across open water and bad ice; over four mountain ranges, reaching an elevation of 3,800 feet (1,160 m); and through isolated, northern villages. Racers cover 1,020 miles (1,643 km), as temperatures commonly can drop to −40 to −60 °F (−40 to −60 °C) on the rivers, and winds can reach 100 miles per hour (160 km/h) on the mountain summits .
The 2007 race purse of USD $200,000 will be divided among the top 15 finishing teams and the winner takes home $40,000.
Thing
Skijoring is a winter dog- or horse-powered sport popularized in North America and derived from the Scandinavian sport of pulka. It involves a horse or from one to three dogs hitched directly to a human being on skis. Skijoring can also take place behind a snowmobile or an all terrain carrier such as the Bandvagn 206. In this case, several skiers or soldiers can be towed on the same rope. The rope is passed around the skiers skipoles and continues to the next person in line. Skiers then preferably hang on to their skipoles, supported by their arms. Straddling the rope, and "sitting" on the skipoles as shown on the "Skijoring in Norway" link is not advisable, since this means you cant easily let go of the rope in case of a fall. Skijoring was a demonstration sport in the 1928 Winter Olympics.
Wordplay
The following are all winter sports-related puns (an amusing use of a word or phrase which has several meanings or which sounds like another word):

People in Switzerland can't learn to ski without a lot of alp.
A skier retired because he was going downhill.
Ski vacations start on a high but go down hill from there.
A skier who loses a race on a cold day will have a frosty disposition.
Two strangers skated to the middle of a frozen pond and broke the ice.
Figure skaters don't like to be in a rut.
Date
Tonya Harding became notorious for allegedly conspiring to harm competitor Nancy Kerrigan in an attack, which occurred on January 6, 1994 at a practice session during the 1994 U.S. Figure Skating Championships. Harding's ex-husband Jeff Gillooly hired Shane Stant to strike Kerrigan on the knee. Harding won that event, while Kerrigan's injury forced her withdrawal. After Harding admitted to helping to cover up the attack, the USFSA and United States Olympic Committee initiated proceedings to remove her from the 1994 Olympic team, but Harding retained her place after threatening legal action. She finished eighth while Kerrigan, recovered from her injuries, finished second.
Quotes
A man learns to skate by staggering about making a fool of himself; indeed, he progresses in all things by making a fool of himself. (George Bernard Shaw)

In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Talking from morning to night about sex has helped my skiing, because I talk about movement, about looking good, about taking risks. (Ruth Westheimer)
Proverbs
If you walk on snow you cannot hide your footprints. (Chinese)
Mountains are used to snow. (Greek)
Before you love, learn to run through snow without leaving footprints. (Turkish)
A good deed is written on snow. (Estonian)
As the snow melts the filth shows through. (Italian)
The larger a man's roof, the more snow it collects. (Persian)
Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads its innocence. (Traditional)
The north wind does blow, and we shall have snow. (Traditional)
 
Country
Norway is the country that has won most medals at the Winter Olympic Games between 1924 to 2006, with 98 gold, 98 silver and 84 bronze giving a total of 280. The United States is second (216 medals) and the Soviet Union third (194).


 

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