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GOLF QUOTES
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“Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.”
-Michael Green
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"I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler."
-David Feherty
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"To be truthful, I think golfers are overpaid. It's unreal, and I have trouble dealing with the guilt sometimes."
-Colin Montgomerie
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"Bumpy greens don't bother me anymore. Since I've become an analyst, I don't see the problem."
-David Feherty quote
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"When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf."
-Dave Stockton
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On being asked, before his final round, what he had to shoot to win the golf tournament- "The rest of the field."
-Roger Maltbie
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"If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right."
-Bob Hope
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"Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear."
-David Feherty
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"Where I come from we have nine-to-ten months of bad weather, then winter sets in. That’s why we’re so angry with each other but love everyone else."
-David Feherty
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"Golf. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks."
-Author Unknown
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"I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there."
-Bob Hope
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When asked why he was moving to the U.S. to work as a golf analyst. "Because I've already insulted everyone in Europe."
-David Feherty
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"He dyed his hair black and grew a goatee. That's why he's playing better, in my opinion."
-Gary McCord quote, speaking about P.G.A. Tour's Andrew Magee
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"Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well."
-Craig Stadler
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"I really don't enjoy playing this game at all anymore. You would have to be a pervert to enjoy the sort of feelings that I went through out there."
-David Feherty, after winning a European Tour event in 1987
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