FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: womenshistory.about.com

SPORTS QUOTES
Sports-related quotes by Erma Bombeck
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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: esquire.com

Image: cantstopthebleeding.com
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NFL FOOTBALL QUOTES
Quotes by and about Lacrosse, College Football, and NFL Football Hall-of-Famer Jim Brown
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I'm not a Martin Luther King and a Gandhi motherfucker. I don't know what they were talking about. Spit on my ass and I'll knock you out. I ain't going to sing and march, man. But I'm fair.
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Click here to view ===> QUOTES BY THE GREATEST RUNNING BACK I EVER SAW!
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: lougehrig.com

Image: audiobooksonline.com
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BASEBALL QUOTES
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"Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." (during his retirement ceremony on July 4, 1939.)
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When asked whether he minded playing in the shadow of the Bambino all the time: "Babe Ruth has a pretty big shadow, it gives me lots of room to spread myself."
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"There is no room in baseball for discrimination. It is our national pastime and a game for all." (on baseball's infamous color barrier)
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"The ballplayer who loses his head, who can't keep his cool, is worse than no ballplayer at all."
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ENDORSEMENT:
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LUCKIEST MAN (see book cover above) is the best
biography I've ever read, sports or otherwise.
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Others must agree because it is a former New York
Times best seller.
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If you should have just one biography to read in life,
Luckiest Man should be your choice; it is superbly
written and leaves you breathless from its extraordinary
research and startling detail of one man's life.
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DISCLAIMER:
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Although I have complimented the author of the biography
via email, I am endorsing this book on my own without any
consultation with or compensation from the author.
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: news.bbc.co.uk

SPORTS QUOTES
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"That's the way we were woken up in the morning - banged over the head with a plastic golf club."
Rory McIlroy's mum, Rosie on the early potential of her son.
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Click here to view ===> SPORTS QUOTES
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: celebquotes.com

Image: courtenaysfineart.com

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EXERCISE QUOTES

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[on how he keeps fit]

Passing the vodka bottle. And playing the guitar.

-- Keith Richards

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I would rather exercise than read a newspaper.

-- Kim Alexis

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The only exercise I get is walking behind the coffins of friends who took exercise.

-- Peter O'Toole

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I’m sitting with a director, and he asks me if I work out. I deadpan, ‘Yeah, I lift men. You busy later?’ Total silence. There were tumbleweeds rolling across the room. I didn’t get the part.

-- Jessica Cauffiel

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I do try and keep fit, but it's a half-hearted battle. I'll go for a jog once a fortnight and then feel ill for two days afterwards. And now and again I'll join a health club, but the trauma of filling in the form and having my photo taken for the membership card usually puts me off going for about 12 months. But I'm still optimistic that one day I'll be offered a guest role in Baywatch.

-- Steve Coogan

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: youtube.com

Image: img.perezhilton.com

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NFL FOOTBALL HUMOR

John Madden announces his retirement on 4/16/09

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES' RETIREMENT PARTY SALUTE

FOR NFL HALL OF FAMER JOHN MADDEN

( Starring impressionist Frank Caliendo ( 5 videos ) )

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Click here to view ===> BAMM!!!

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Click here to view ===> BOING!!!

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Click here to view ===> PHOBIA! WHAT PHOBIA?

Source ( 5th video only) : video.google.com

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Special note:

Find more about John on Funny Sports Quotes on the

FSQ Freefind search engine at the top of this blog page.

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John has boarded the bus and left the stadium- now what, football fans?

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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: tosports.ca

Image: 80s-tennis.com
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GOLF QUOTES
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What I like about golf is there are no bad calls.
- Ivan Lendl
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It matters not the sacrifice
Which makes the duffers wife so sore
I am the captain of my slice
I am the servant of my score.
- Grantland Rice
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There are two things that will not last long in this world, and that’s dogs chasing cars, and pro’s putting for pars.
- Lee Trevino
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The game of golf was started at 11:10 a.m., the first lie about a scorecard at 11:22, and the first golf joke at noon.
- Bennett Cerf
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A game you play with your own worst enemy—-yourself.
- Finley Peter Dunne
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A game that begins with a golf ball and ends with a high ball.
- Bert Sugar
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A game in which a ball 1 1/2 inches in diameter is played on a ball 8,000 miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball, but not the larger.
- John Cunningham
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A game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
- Art Rosenblum
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I’m playing like Tarzan, and scoring like Jane
- Chi Chi Rodriguez
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You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He’s the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, “oops!”
- Bob Monkhouse
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I’ve got to figure out how to take a vacation from a vacation.
- Dave Stockton on playing the PGA Senior Tour.
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GOLFERSWHO TALKFASTSWINGFAST!
- Bob Toski
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The loudest sound you hear is the guy jingling coins to distract a player he bet against.
- Jim Murray
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Golf is a plague invented by Calvinist Scots to as a punishment for man’s sins.
- James Reston
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Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you’ve found a man about to make a difficult putt.
- Fletcher Knebel
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I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole-in-one and wrote down zero on the scorecard.
- Bob Bruce
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Willie Nelson, discussing what par is on a golf course he bought. It’s anything I want it to be. For instance, the hole right here is 47. and yesterday I birdied the sucker.
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
- Bob Hope
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A hole in one, scored by accident, can keep a complete duffer playing golf for the rest of his life. - “Champagne” Tony Lima
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Arnold Palmer is the greatest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. - Bob Hope
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The only thing I fear on a golf course is lightning…and Ben Hogan.
- Sam Snead
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Serenity is knowing your worst shot is still going to be pretty good.
- Johnny Miller
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Lee Trevino, on where professional golf would be without sponsors money: I’ll tell you where it would be. Julous Boros would be a bookkeeper in Connecticut, Arnold Palmer would be in the Coast Guard, and I’d be back in Texas, picking cotton.
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I learned English from American pros. That’s why I speak so bad. I call it PGA English.
- Roberto Di Vicenzo
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Golf is a young man’s vice and an old man’s penance.
- Irvin S. Cobb
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When playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
- Henny Youngman
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There an old saying: if a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburrs in his pants, don’t ask him what he shot.
- Sam Snead
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Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike
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FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: gameuseduniverse.com

Image: vintagecardtraders.com
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BASEBALL QUOTE
Quote from a sports forum
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I read a good Drysdale story awhile back. He was pitching against the Phillies' Robin Roberts, and after Drysdale hit a batter, the Phils' Manager ordered Roberts to knock Drysdale down the next time he came to bat. Roberts demurred, so the Manager sent in Turk Farrell, whom he knew would have no reservations about doing it.
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Farrell knocked Drysdale down, as instructed, but on a subsequent pitch, Drysdale managed to get his bat on the ball and made it safely to second. Not content with that, Drysdale taunted Farrell, saying, "There's your knock-down pitch!"
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A moment later, Farrell spun and made a pickoff throw to second, with no fielder there covering the bag, and the ball just happened to hit Drysdale in the thigh...to which Farrell added, "There's your two base hit!"
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