Funny Sports Quotes \ Source: well.com

-1992 Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager,

on his team's 7-27 record:

"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As

general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

-1987 Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M,

recounting what he told a player who received four F's

and one D:

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on

one subject."

-1982 Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,

explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous

at practice:

"My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to

be an uncle or an aunt."

-1991 Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator

fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed

20 books:

"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

-1986 Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked

after a loss what he thought of the refs:

"I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."

-1991 Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday

nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons:

"It's basically the same, just darker."

-1991 Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former

assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his

11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the

Boilermakers:

"He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's we're not going to any

more bowl games.'"

-1986 LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of

14 children:

"They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."

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