SPECIAL EDITORIAL NOTE FROM SPORTS_NUT, 2/26/2011
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Welcome to the retirement edition of Funny Sports Quotes.
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The Funny Sports Quotes blog was created in 11/2007 after I could see I could become a blogger very easily using Google's 3-step process for creating a blog online.
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For me, like most, work is not my idea of a fun experience, so I had to choose the topic that I would most enjoy pursuing and that, for me, was finding and posting funny sports quotes for entertaining and, in some cases, educating an audience on facets of sports even the most ardent sports fans may not have been aware of.
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At the same time, I decided to compile a database of funny sports quotes that sports fans and quote fans could visit for "one-stop" shopping, thereby helping them to avoid the need to search elsewhere for sports quotes.
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So, from 11/2007 until 2/2011. I have compiled quotes on the Funny Sports Quotes blog and its sister blog, FSQuotes, that is accessible only from the Funny Sports Quotes blog.
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As of 2/26/2011, I believe I have achieved my objective first set in 11/2007, which signals for me the end of my funny sports quotes database project.
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Kindly note that I have already made the last post (SI Swimsuit) to the blog, shut off further entries to Comments, and I will shut off the email address sports.quotes@gmail.com on 03/14/2011.
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Also note that many features previously cited on this page have been removed, so that a bare-bones FSQ remains for your future reference.
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I do hope that my venture was successful in bringing a smile to your face or a skip to your step, since that was all FSQ was created for, your entertainment and pleasure.
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In closing, I wish you and yours, Godspeed!
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Sunday, May 25, 2008

FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: abc.net.au


Memorable quotes
The best sporting quotes of the year tell their own story of 2005.
[ Includes Track and Field Sports ]

Cricket
"I don't remember much of it, to be honest. I don't even remember shaking the prime minister's hand." - England's Kevin Pietersen after overdoing the Ashes celebrations.

"We are the number one side in the world and they are number two. I am not too worried about this series - we have just been outplayed." - Beaten Australian skipper Ricky Ponting (Pictured).

"I'd never make a decent celebrity. I'm ugly, I'm overweight, but I'm happy." - Ashes hero Freddie Flintoff.

"I dedicate this century to my father. My first hundred is the most memorable one but this one has been very emotional." - India's Sachin Tendulkar on hitting a record 35th Test century. His father died during the 1999 World Cup in England.

"I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to facing Brett Lee again. He bowls at 95mph so enjoyment is not the word I would use." - Flintoff on preparing to take on the Australian fast bowler.


Football
"Jamie Carragher came up to me before the penalties and asked me if I remembered the final in 1984, and Bruce Grobbelaar. So he was the inspiration."- Liverpool goalkeeper Jerzy Dudek after his goalline antics confused AC Milan and helped the Reds take the Champions League on a penalty shoot-out after a dramatic night in Istanbul.

"It was a goal that came from the moon - from the Anfield stands." - Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho after his side were undone by Liverpool in the Champions League semi-finals.

"This is nothing against Sir Alex whatsoever. After the game on Wednesday we were together in my office and we spoke and drank wine. Unfortunately, it was a very bad bottle of wine and he was complaining, so when we go to Old Tafford for the second leg, on my birthday, I will take a beautiful bottle of Portuguese wine." - Mourinho again.

"Not only have I lost my dad but we've all lost a wonderful man." - Calum Best paying tribute to father George, the Manchester United legend, who died in November.

"Today we had extraordinary weather conditions, but this stadium was only completed just before the finals and we did not have time to Test the roof." - Horst Schmidt, the vice-president of the 2006 World Cup organising committee, after a hole appeared in the roof at the 188-million-euro-stadium at Frankfurt during the Confederations Cup.

"After that game I was as low as a snake's belly." - England's Rio Ferdinand after the World Cup defeat by Northern Ireland.

"The next time we're going to have to bring our own team of gardeners." - Lille coach Claude Puel after the poor state of the pitch at the Stade de France in Paris.


Tennis
"I amaze myself how incredibly I use my talent to win. Those who followed me when I was a youngster knew I had the potential, but I don't think anybody thought it would be this extreme." - Roger Federer on his continued dominance of the men's game.

"I Hope he gets bored or something." - Andy Roddick, after losing a second successive Wimbledon final to Federer, on his plans to eventually beat the world number one.

"Some people have some problems with the dress code. Maybe I wear short skirts but I pray five times a day and do the things that other Muslims do." - India's Sania Mirza, a Muslim, after a fatwah was declared against her by fundamentalists who objected to her sexy on-court image.

"I've never taken a banned drug like that French paper reported. Since I was banned two years ago, I've never thought of repeating the same thing again." - Argentina's Mariano Puerta who allegedly failed a drugs test at the French Open, an accusation he vehemently denies. Puerta served an earlier nine-month doping ban in 2003.


Athletics
"This is really for me. Anyone can think what they want. I knew I was capable of doing it." - Britain's Paula Radcliffe, winner of the women's world championship marathon, on banishing the demons of Athens, where she failed to complete both the marathon or 10,000 metres.

"I had a baby son on Monday and I'm going to call him Helsinki." - Kenyan Benjamin Limo after winning the men's 5000 metres.

"You will not see me with a javelin again unless you come to Samoa and I catch you a fish."- Samoan shot putter Shaka Sola missed his flight to the world athletics championships, but instead competed in the javelin event. He finished last.

"It was kind of cool when I was seven years old but I think they would get a bit of a shock if I did it now apart from the fact the bed might break." - Olympic and world 100m champion Justin Gatlin on his belief that he was Superman as a child - much to the fury of his parents.

"To my mind we are not far from being a good side. If I could use a cricket analogy it is the difference at the moment of being caught at first slip and edging just wide of first slip. I will enjoy seeing how that can be translated into French." - Former Wallabies coach Eddie Jones after defeat against France in Marseille.

Rugby Union
"People say we are devaluing the the All Black shirt. Well we are not, we are being logical and doing the right thing." - Graham Henry, the All Blacks coach, defending his decision to change his line-up wholesale for the November Test against Ireland one week after the win against Wales.

"Was I speared? I think so. Slam-dunked is probably the expression which sums it up best." - Ireland centre Brian O'Driscoll after the infamous tackle by Tana Umaga and Keven Mealamu in the first minute of the first Test between the All Blacks and the British and Irish Lions in Christchurch.

"If I carried all that sort of stuff on my shoulders going into a game, I wouldn't be able to get out there." - Umaga insisting the incident is in the past.


Golf
"Everything was fine until I walked on to the first tee." - Seve Ballesteros after hitting a shot into the trees at the first hole of his opening round in the Madrid Open.

"To get to 10 already this soon in my career, it's very exciting to hopefully look forward to some good years in my 30's and hopefully into my 40's. Jack took 25 years to win all 18 of his. You know it's going to take an entire career. It's not going to happen overnight." - Tiger Woods targetting Nicklaus's Majors record.


Formula One
"Until a few years ago, I thought I would be a go-kart mechanic." - Formula One world champion Fernando Alonso.

"When I was asked to go faster my reply was a very short one." - Jenson Button after his BAR team told him to step on the gas at the British Grand Prix.

"Why should I quit? I am still having a lot of fun and feel super fit." - Deposed world champion Michael Schumacher.


Racing
"I have ridden a horse before who suffered a heart attack while I was on board and I have to say this looks reminiscent of that. The legs go, they wobble and then they go down. As I saw him go down I knew I was seeing a dead horse and I just wanted it to be over as quickly as possible." - Henrietta Knight, the trainer of triple Cheltenham Gold Cup winner Best Mate, after the horse collapsed and died on the Exeter course in November.

"Horses are not cars. You can't compare him to previous Arc winners but he has done it today. He is not a police horse." - Andre Fabre, trainer of Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe winner Hurricane Run.


Cycling
"Vive le Tour. Forever." - Lance Armstrong after winning a seventh consecutive Tour de France.

"I am happy with the way my career went and I am happy with the way it ended There is no way I can go back there (France). I would be crazy, so why don't we all just say I am not going back." - Armstrong was accused of using EPO by French sports daily L'Equipe in an article which showed details of 1999 drugs tests. The American has denied the allegations.


Miscellaneous
"I give myself a B. It's not an A because I didn't knock him out. But I did win it." - Jermain Taylor after retaining his middleweight world title against Bernard Hopkins.

"It is not destiny, it is 25 guys pulling together. We are just a bunch of dogs going out there every day fighting and doing the right things." - Chicago White Sox reliever Bobby Jenks after the World Series win which ended an 88-year drought between championships and erasing the stigma of the 1919 'Black Sox' betting scandal.

"I have been building that up for the final and now I am world champion I don't know what I feel." - Malaysia's Nicol David after winning the world title.

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