FUNNY SPORTS QUOTES \ Source: diehardbaseball.net

Image: fantasybaseballdugout.com

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FANTASY BASEBALL QUOTES

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Saw this in the April edition of Fantasy Sports Monthly by rotoworld.com

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You Know You're A True Fantasy Baseball Owner IF....

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20. You refer to your co-workers by their fantasy team names: "Hey Ass Whoopers, can you send me those release notes"

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19. You think Scott Podsednik is a Hall of Famer.

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18. The only time you use Microsoft Excel is in March.

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17. You usually show up to work around 10:00 and are generally five to 10 minutes late for appointments. However, in 11 years of playing fantasy sports, you've missed the weekly deadline to set your roster once - and that was because of a massive, 3-state power blackout

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16. You've rescheduled a biopsy after realizing that it falls on the same day as your draft

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15. Owners who won't trade - or worse, won't respond to your proposals - annoy you more than John Mayer

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14. You realize you could make millions if you took the time you spent researching fantasy baseball and devoted it to studying the stock market....but you don't care

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13. You'd agree to a vasectomy before letting the computer pick your team

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12. The following is a familiar scenario in your life: You get to work 45 minutes late and notice an urgent e-mail from your boss. Before opening it, you got to rotoworld.com for the latest player updates

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11. "I'll be down in a minute Honey!" really means, "Put some aluminum foil on it - I'm in the midst of a trade negotiation!"

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10. When David Ortiz blasts a grand slam to give your beloved Red Sox a walk-off victory, your first thought is, "That better not be my closer!"

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9. You frequently refer to other men as "studs"

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8. Your 30-year friendship with your elementary-school buddy/league commissioner came to an abrupt end after he nixed your trade for Roy Oswalt

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7. At a family gathering, you once caught yourself boasting to your grandmother about how you snagged Scott Rolen in the 10th round

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6. To you the real Eminem is Melvin Mora (you may need to see the picture they had of mora for this one)

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5. You Have Christmas lights around your monitor that are rigged to a hidden motion sensor outside your cube, allowing you to surf fantasy sites all day without fear of detection.

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4. You've risked bladder infection because you didn't want to miss out on the bidding for Omar Vizquel.

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3. You spent more time contemplating the name of your fantasy team than that of your first born child

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2. You no longer laugh like Beavis and Butthead upon hearing the word "busts"

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1. You've wasted half of a work day crafting a smack-talk post for your league message board...and felt proud afterwards.

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